is a cunt.

Swindon advertiser

This venerable body have published advice on what to do if you find an injured mouse or rat in your garden.

Use a towel to pick it up, gardening gloves should be worn as injured animals may nip. Place in a plastic ( not cardboard) container. Put them in a safe place out of reach of family pets. Contact a wildlife charity or vet for advice on getting treatment.
As a cautionary note, as you’re now St. Francis of Assisi, be prepared for the animal to be euthanised!

Fuck that for a game of soldiers! Are these cunts mad? Take a disease ridden rodent to a vet? Not on planet Priest.

JPs advice. Get your shovel out of the shed. Wear gardening gloves as a wood splinter hurts like a bastard. Using the sharp edge decapitate the fucking thing. Now, using the flat side scoop the remains and either place in your garden incinerator or in a plastic bag, which you should then knot and place in your household waste bin.

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

Like a cheap rip off of Harry & Meghan Hewitt’s paranoid exploits, The Beckham Family continue to add fuel t0o the SM flames, mainly through the simple looking young son Romeo (with a name like that he had to be either a pooftah or a drama queen). Just like dad this 22 year old waste of space has had a new tattoo added to his body, which is believed to be a “snub” to his older brother, who, from what one reads his ugly mother (soon to be seen. stark bollock, in a famine relief advert for Gaza) was trying groom for an Oedipus Complex (Oedipus, shneedepus, what does it matter, as long as he loves his mother?). When Dave was kicking a football about and being the ignoramous he was (and is), she promoted him as “head of the house” and her little man.

There must be a comedy series there and after the bat shit crazy Ozzy Osbourne’s passing, the Beckhams could become the biggest thing since Steptoe & Son.

Why don’t they all shut the fuck up and continue their squabbles in private?

Daily Fail

Nominated by W C Boggs.

bbcnews

I can’t speak for my fellow cunters but personally speaking a “once in a lifetime trip” certainly wouldn’t include a nice visit to that world renowned tourist hotspot Iran.

However I haven’t taken into account that these happy travellers may have wanted to visit some of the worst prisons in the Middle East, be beaten, starved and held in solitary confinement.

It takes all sorts I suppose.

Dear me.

Nominated by Unkle Terry.

he is a cunt or not?

Personally I find this story amusing.
You can decide if he is a cunt or not..

This fellow was pretending he was growing tea in the Scottish Highlands.
He claimed to have invented a biodegradable polymer that made tea grow in half the time.. turns out it was a bin bag.

He was buying plants from Europe and claiming they were grown in Scotland.

He sold his tea to the Balmoral and Dorchester hotels claiming it was the late queen’s favourite.
Also to a buyer for fortnum and Masons.

He got three and a half years, alot more than a pàķi rapist gets nowadays.

So he tricked alot of gullible and more likely greedy people. I imagine those hotels were charging a fiver for a cup of tea..

copfs/news

Nominated by Barry zuckercunt.