A bit short but we’ll allow it as some of you might have some gripping stories to tell – NA
Ok, off the fucking wall nomination here but I’m going to nominate Jury Service. Not as a juror but as the long fucking suffering other arf of a juror listening to them worrying about the legal aspects of said case and banging on and fucking on about it in depth.
As I reach the point of wanting our former hangman Albert to top em even if it’s something minor.
Oh I’ll add the missus did a murder trial for a few weeks. Bloke was a cunt as well.
CookdandBombd. (Link passed down by Unkle Terry)
Nominated by : Paul Goddard
I’d love to do it.
I’m perfect for jury duty!
open minded, non judgemental,
fair, socially compassionate..
GUILTY.
Missus Miserable got called,she didn’t like it,
obviously not got any sense of vengeance or retribution, they dropped a bollock,
should of called me.
6
My dad did it too
his words-
” he was clearly guilty the scruffy cunt,
but it was full of stupid fuckin women saying he might not be,
just me and this other bloke said he was guilty
I told em ,
just look at him!
are you fuckin mad?!!!”
😆
6
I’ve done it twice and I hear you. The other jurors were thick cunts who spent hours deliberating over irrelevant wank, like they were in a crime drama, when we had had clear direction from the Judge how to consider a legal guilty or not.
One of them was a ginger poove who had appeared on Come Dine With Me, I recognised him but no-one else did, the pretentious twat.
6
That Christina Pike in Tennessee given lethal injection,
snoring?!!
so they rushed her to hospital?
why?
pop a carrier bag over her head and suffocate her.
easy fix.
3
I don’t get this Mis. This is just the most recent case where someone has yet again survived a “lethal” injection. This is in the States where everyone is armed to the teeth. Why are they fucking about?
3
morning Arfur,
yeah, if the drugs can’t be mixed properly for the injection,
just inject them with a air bubble.
Let’s hope they sort it out and get back to making the world a better place!
1
I’d have loved to’ve been the holdout juror in the Lindsay Clancy jury.
Telling those fat, middle-aged, self-important, child-murderer apologist bitches that they’re wrong and that Clancy was as guilty as sin would’ve been highly satisfying.
Well done to that holdout juror…a black catholic man, I believe.
6
They weren’t wrong.
They were psychopathic.
11 out of 12 people wanting to let a CALCULATED CHILD MURDERER off because ‘sympathy’ is a very scary statistic.
5
Pakı defendant?
Guilty.
Black inner city youth?
Guilty.
Works for the BBC?
Guilty.
5
Drives an EV?
Guilty.
5
And straight out to the gibbet.
3
@thomas…. unfortunately in today’s justice system the one missing from your list is WHITE… guilty as fuck,no messing about down you go sunshine…the crime? look in the 🪞😩
1
Many years ago my brother was called up for jury service. He said that no matter what the evidence the person was guilty. I had to point out to him that he was going to serve on an inquest jury.
4
id sentence Ed Sheerhan to death if hosting Jukebox Jury
3
A year ago I’d have said fine, because of his crimes against the pop parade. But now he’s been cancelled by the ‘Free Palestine even though it’s stuffed to the gills with rapists and bombers from birth’ brigade, I have a little more sympathy for him.
I say a little, he can never be forgiven for the aural trauma of that line in his all-time worst Shape Of You, “Last night you were in my room, and now my bedsheets smell like you”. You love your bedsheets minging of tuna and jampot? Have a word with yourself.
3
Your too kind Wokey like me.
But justice must be served.
Eds got eyes that are trying to look round corners,
a common ailment in the criminal classes,
plus his fawning , pleading not to be dragged into a political debate turned my tripes.
Not only would I hang him id put him on display outside Manchester Apollo as a warning to other musicians.
3
That’s reminded me of Butthole Surfers’ “Who was in my room last night”.
2
Served on a coroners jury recently.
But you can’t portion blame on anyone..
But spoiler alert it was all the third world medical staffs fault.
Incompetent cunts..
3
I’ve not been called up for jury service. Yet.
Which is good, because I’ve absolutely no desire to spend two weeks or more arguing the toss with a bunch of hand wringing lefties who think everyone deserves a second, third, fourth or fifth chance.
And why are these juries so seemingly packed with simpering lefty types?
I wouldn’t put it past the modern state to be judging your eligibility based on the online data they harvest, and estimating from that your political leanings.
That’s probably why I’ve not had the call.
3
They were definitely ‘postcode profiling’ when I did it over ten years ago. We only had one ‘council estate’ type juror, and yes she was thick as fucking mince and obstructed the deliberations with ‘feelings’ over clearly spelled out legal interpretation of evidence, which was completely beyond her fag-breathed intellect..
3
I reckon it’s more in depth nowadays, WokeUp.
All they had in the past was your criminal record, or lack of, and your employment status.
They’ve got a veritable smorgasbord of information to play with now.
2
You are exempt from jury service if you are
– On bail
– Have served a prison term in the last 10 years
– Have ever served a prison term of 5 years or more
– Are mentally incapable, or
– Are sectioned under the Mental Health Act
So that’s 5 reasons why I’ve never been called up.
6
Tatlock and his commissars are proposing some amendments to that list, Geordie.
You will be ineligible if…..
1. You’ve been resident in the UK for less than two weeks.
2. You aren’t gay, or have no intention of declaring yourself so.
3. Any evidence is discovered of political interest in the Reform party,
4. You were found to have voted to leave the EU.
5. You’ll all be ineligible soon anyway, as we’re scrapping jury trials lest any ethnics end up going inside, thus raising community tensions.
4
First time I was called Geordie, I wrote back and told them I wasn’t interested. I was excused. Second time I had to attend for possible selection. I stood alone in the corner shuffling about and muttering incoherently to myself. They sent me home. After next May I won’t be in the running any more due to my great age.
3
done it once many years ago nothing special was just a domestic violence case, a park key duffing up his live in girlfriend (white) so obviously I voted guilty and recommend she go down with him for being a stupid slag for obvious reasons 😩… can’t remember much about the others except one woman who wouldn’t let the fact go of ‘he looks genuinely sorry’ … I said well perhaps you’ll be able too assess how genuine he is because he’s been giving you the eye all week so you could put yourself in her place and see whether he gives you flowers 🌹 or a good slapping 🤜.. found guilty 👍
4
Fuck me.
Everyone’s had a go except me.
Like the National Lottery,
my names never drawn out the hat.
I should be one of the first asked.
business owner
home owner
over 6ft
respected in the community
large dog owner
who’s more suitable than me to judge if someone is guilty of a crime?
well, they are.
judge should have me on speed dial.
1
Under the recent Sir Lammy Henry proposals there is no need for a jury. Show trials are the name of the the game under marxist state rules. They will probably bring back the guillotine for whitey, while darquies get the full benefits of two tier ‘justice’. Fuck off.
Good morning, everyone.
1
Never been asked just as well as I’d tell the dithering cunts to get fucked.
I imagine it’s like being stuck on a long coach trip with a load of chatty liberal Democrats.
Guilty,therefore Oven.
The lot.
Good morning.
0