Clare Balding (5)

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Balding again. I really really can’t fucking stand the cunt. Along with all the BBC, C4, BT posh shit that of course naturally slithers into her heron sized gullet. Horses, Dogs, anything else she can boot someone else out for (Inverdale).

Todays trigger was accidentally tuning into and seeing the hideously posh future captains of industry and rapists of our world embarking on their monumental task of rowing up a river. A river! And who was there (and I knew instantly who it would be) to spit in my eye?. Desperate Dan again. Once again with her mock jolly hockey sticks banter and “I’m continuously amazed how wonderful it all is” delivery to accompany her disgusting whipped and lacquered Ray Mears quiff.

I’ll never rest easy till I see that cunts head on a spike in the bottom of my garden for the birds to feed on. I’ll chuck the rest out for the street foxes.

Nominated by Slinky Pinky

While I’m here, I want to nominate Clare Balding for a cunting. To say this man faced dyke is overexposed is like saying that Pepsi is a bit fizzy. In the past few months she’s been at the Lord Mayor’s parade, she’s been at the winter Olympics, she’s been at the boat race and now she’s presenting the commonwealth games. She even presented Crufts for fucks sake. Though that’s probably because she wasn’t allowed to compete. If some perv flopped his cock out in front of the BBC studio at Salford Quays, she’d be there presenting it. And it’s not just the fact she’s rarely off our TV’s, there’s also the fact that she’s presenting at events she knows fuck all about, and comes out with the most ridiculous and inane comments. The kind of comments that Naga Munchetty would consider intelligent.

It wouldn’t surprise me if she turned up at the World Cup. I’m pretty sure she’ll be in Tokyo for the 2020 Olympics. Though, considering muff diving is NOT an Olympic sport, she should be kept well away from the aquatics centre. Horse racing, that’s what she’s qualified to present. Her dad worked at one of the Queen’s stables and she was raised around horses. Apparently though, he had to quit because the grooms kept trying to feed her sugar cubes.

Clare Balding, get the fuck off my TV screen. You cunt.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

48 thoughts on “Clare Balding (5)”

    • A prime candidate for MI5 phone tapping and close surveillance.

      The halal chickens come home to roost for the former smiling cake-baker of peace.

      • Lolz at ‘cake baker of peace’

        ..who incidentally is surely due a cunting. Who will step up?

      • I smelt trouble cooking the minute I saw her associated with the bake off program, catapulted right into our faces in every media outlet.

        The only thing this cunt can cook up is trouble and I hope the original owners of recipes the cunt has stolen to compile her collection of books upon, take her to the cleaners

    • Any man who home-bakes is undoubtedly one of “The Gays”. They enjoy all the talk of whipped cream and iced fancies. I bet you could stick an egg whisk straight up the hoop of any man who has ever baked a Victoria sponge.

      • I’ll have you know that you’re dead wrong, Mr F. I baked a wonderful cake whilst I was visiting the house of Tom Daley and his delightful “husband” to commemorate their imminent parenthood and I barely* got bummed at all.

        * completely

      • I wont use public swimming pools these days. I’m terrified that as I splash along Daley double-pikes me from the 15 metre highboard. I wear a life-preserver while swimming but I don’t think that my ring would bear the pressure of Daley bum-bombing me from that height. I have no intention of being holed below the water-line by that particular expectant father.

        Fuck them.

      • Not me, Mr F !!

        I love a good home bake, and on the subject of my nether parts (a touch of the old Farmer’s at the mo), my lovely blonde female GP had a lot of trouble performing the necessary “exam” on me yesterday. If that’s what fisting feels like, I’ll stick with Juicy Lucy Lane and her cane !!

    • This cunt needs a grenade stuck right in her fucking oven.

      Calling our country leader a monster?

      I wonder how such an outburst would have gone down in country of origin?

      To the tower with this traitor bitch!

  2. She may know a lot about horses but she wasn’t too clever when she told a winning jockey, with fucked up front railings, “now you can afford to get your teeth done”.
    Unfortunately for us the bloke was white otherwise the BBC would have binned the lezzie bitch.

  3. I tend to avoid anything presented by the irritating Balding because of her “jolly hockeysticks” style of commentary.

    Eating vagina, hair styled with Bostik, and rabbiting on about racehorses and her diesel partner seems to sum her up nicely.

    • Made from heavy duty polythene with a drawstring around the neck and no letterbox. Just in case it rains of course or she falls into a fast flowing river and her bottle nosed buddy Becky isn’t around to rescue her from harm..cunt.

  6. Naomi Wimbourbe Idrissi, Tony Greenstein, Jacqui Walker and all the other Jew hating Labourites. Fuck off to Iran:You will be welcome there. As for Len McCluskey, three words come to mind: UGLY FAT CUNT.

    • Len McCluskey could be cunted on a daily basis and it still wouldn’t be enough!

      • Surely he must be one of these ‘incel’ cunts too with that car crash face that also looks like he dooked for chips from the chip pan as a child.

    • These cunts are just trying to appease their primary voting population, namely Jew-hating goat-fuckers. Opportunist cunts !

    • McCluskey is a corrupt commie union boss. A taste of labour’s support and priorities.

    • Len was runner up to the winner of the Ugly Bug Ball
      contest.

  7. Was unfortunate enough to get a brief look at the Ellen Degenerates show on t’telly the other day. That is one very odd creature, she was creaming her gentleman’s trousers whilst interviewing some excitable young nubiles. The word predator sprang to mind. I’d just like to point out that it wasn’t on my fucking telly.

      • Good morning Mr. Fiddler. It was on an old ladies telly.
        Speaking of the telly there’s just been a ‘news ‘ item on about a Utah university that has a cry closet as a safe space where students can go for a good weep when the harshness of life becomes too much, comes complete with cuddly toys, whether it has nappy changing facilities I couldn’t say. Flashman would have had a field day.

      • “Safe space” indeed…They wouldn’t be safe from me if I was at school there. There was no library,no classroom safe for weaklings when I as at school. I was relentless in my goading of the easily-offended…Makes a man of them.

        Good Morning.

      • Utah, I think, has an equally useful space with sulphuric acid, cyanide pellets and a suitable chair…

  8. I’d love to get a peek at Balding’s hot,sweaty box after a good 2 hour bareback ride. I bet it’s gaping like a giant octopus’ maw,just waiting for a fucking good pounding from a dildo shaped and coloured like Nicola Adams’ forearm.

    • That photo of her with her wide-open mouth….bet I wasn’t the only considering…….

    • Ha ha ha ha …
      Urgh.. I feel ill.
      Just like an octopus it probably has a beak inside which it uses to crush shellfish and crabs (or is that squid?).
      I wouldn’t be surprised if it has tenticles too.

    • I bet Baldng’s gash looks like a cross between the inside of a Dalek and the Sarlacc from Star Wars…

  10. Ha ha loved the “kept trying to feed her sugar cubes” part … and yes, now you mention it, she does look a hell of a lot like Ray Mears.
    I just hope we never see her in Mears-style safari shorts.
    Urrrrr.

  11. Full marks to whoever airbrushed the colt’s penis out – I’ve seen the original (a mate showed me) which obviously makes a lot more sense.
    However I fully understand why it had to be photoshopped for use on a family friendly site like ISAC.

    • Every young ‘un should be brought here for a syllabus of education in preparation for the big bad world.

      When / if I ever have grandchildren, there will be no Al Ceebeebies. It will be ISAC cast to my big screen with handout supplements to educate them on the cunts of the world and how they fucked our once great nation.

      That’s in-between making mud pies in the garden, getting dirty playing outdoors etc. No wrapping up in cotton wool at mine!

  12. If a man be lying in the grass, does he be a snake? if a man has a fork in his tongue saying all sorts of silver tongued lies is he a snake?… you may have to kill him

      • I’ve found my consumption of tramadol & gabapentin have increased my output volume to that of a brass band however her indoors father is on some Metformin medicine that delivers a deadly smell instead of noise.

        Drove me to violent barfing sessions on a few occasions already.

  16. Rowing up a river? What river? The Nile? The Congo? The Ganges? Are these guys all studying Rocket Science or Brain Surgery at Oxford while training for the big race? They better practice…this year Cambridge has Ahmed Habbi…Hussein Ali Baba…Nandi M’butu, Rasheesh Patel and Vladamir Chowchescieu on their crew…uh team.

    Camel Jockeys rowing up the Thames described by a Crotch cannibal. Son of a bitch but the world has gone mad.

    By the way….didn’t this cunt cover a recent dog show? How did they tell her apart for all the other bitches?

    • Ruins the fucking show every year, it could only be worse by using that Lineker cunt.

      Time for some other cunt to do Crufts now surely?

      Even fucking Mel & Sue would be an upgrade.

  17. A double of one half of Viz,s fat slags,the bbc love her cos shes a rug muncher of course,flavour of the beeb until she upsets em of course

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