A cunt or not a cunt?
Some while ago I cunted getting trough airports for the many different stages which passengers had to go through, horrendous queues, Diego cops, facial recognition finger printing and a several mile walk carrying the same weight as a SAS Bergen in the Brecon Beacons on their selection March.
I was sick of it and decided that I to would allow some person to wheel me in a chair through all said obstacle’s and allow Mrs E/C to carry the afore mentioned Bergen or pack less fucking weight.
I wrote on here that it went well breezing through checkpoint Charlie and all the other ones involved, sometimes skipping the eye recognition and finger print stages altogether just because I put on a gormless face, dribbled from my mouth and used an inhaler.
A few weeks ago I buggered off to the canary islands for a post summer holiday. Did the wheeze work as well?
Our plane was delayed for half and hour because of the large number of assisted travellers on board. Oh dear. Biggles then made up the time by burning up more fuel and speeding, the naughty boy.
On arrival at EMA a woman collected me and wheeled me to the meet and greet parking lot and then onto my car. What a woman. 10/10
Thank goodness she fucked off before I opened the boot where my golf clubs where lain. So yes I’m a cunt but assisted travel is brill.
Nominated by Everyonesacunt.
That sounds a bit like parking in a Disabled Parking place. Once upon a time you would have been strung up by your testicles for doing it, now everyone is at it.
11
I get your drift but I saw so many fat much younger monsters doing it I just thought fuck it. I am 65 and do suffer arthritis in both knees which require injecting a couple of times a year spent 14 years down pit and 23 years teaching PE so they do fucking hurt. So in my own cunt of a mind fuck the obese 30 plus fuckers.
14
I think that probably entitles you EAC, anyone who has done 14 years down a pit deserves a bit of consideration.
Having said that there are so many fuckers abusing the system it pisses me off.
Well done getting Mrs. EAC to carry the hand baggage.
10
You need to get one of those Scamborghinis,EC.
But don’t drive it around Stevenage town centre,I think they are about to introduce a congestion charge due to the sheer volume of them.
13
Wouldn’t know. I’ve been flown.
3
Even though still able bodied.
2
Wouldn’t know. I’ve never flown.
4
That’s it for me.
I do pity the ones who have to fly and have to put up with nuisance travellers. I enjoy watching them being evicted from aeroplane’s, whereas in my opinion, I’d have them put in the human bomb compartment and dropped over the sea.
7
I’ve tried and failed to get ‘bizarre sexual perversity’ listed as ‘special needs’ to skip queues.
My assistance monkey (the one with the nimble hands) gets very impatient queueing as he gets too hot in his studded leather tabard.
15
Morning Cunt Engine….I would love to see the face of the elderly woman who opens the overhead storage locker only to see you indulging in your Claustrophilia fetish and greeting her with a cheery “guten tag”.
7
If it was an old lady, LL, she’d get a “guten hag”!
7
Why not pretend to have Saint Vitus dance, Thomas. That would get you onboard sharpish.
7
I’ve had some dealings with a disabled person and air travel. Without exception every stage was catastrophically badly handled from initially booking the flight through every stage within the airport all the way to remortgaging the house to raise the money to leave the car park. The systems are completely unfit for purpose and ALL the people you deal with appear to be of subnormal intelligence and entirely lacking even common sense.
9
The misery of air travel.
Another fucking thing that we can thank lunatic Muslims for.
Some smelly Pákí decides to stick explosives in his trainers and hundreds of millions of travelers every year since have to get their shoes x-rayed.
Other fanatical head cases take control of some planes and fly into buildings, resulting in higher security checks for everyone forever more.
Eye scanning and facial recognition, except for the people from the religion that causes the trouble.
They can’t be asked to remove their face coverings because of their religious rights.
All travelers, regardless of their colour or age are treated like suspects, not clients.
So good luck to anyone that use any ruse to make their journeys easier.
Good morning.
15
A solid “Howard Hughes” level of barbiturates then stretchered onto the aircraft.
Better than First Class.
It’s the only way to travel.
9
Interesting fact. 98.6% of Liverpool and Manchester airport passengers (not fucking ‘customers’j ask for assisted boarding on the off chance that the benefits people are on the prowl.
8
Notice how all the Border Force cunts are parking stanleys? Waiving through the darquies and fucking over whitey? Home Office policy, innit. I am surprised they haven’t reopened the aerodrome at Croydon, for exclusively blick drug runner use.
11
I seem to recall in the early 80’s,the PLO had a novel way of getting wheelchair users off a plane quite quickly.
6
Good morning ladies and gentlemen, my name is Kayleigh and I am your In-flight Services Manager for this Budget Airlines flight to Grottaria.
Please pay attention to the following Safety Announcement. In the highly likely event of an emergency evacuation of the plane, please leave by the nearest door to your seat where my colleagues Kylie and Kayla are presently standing looking like a couple of tarted-up streetwalkers.
For those passengers who required special assistance to board the plane, you’ll on your own now chums because I’m not going to break a nail helping queue-dodging cunts like you.
I wish you an enjoyable and relaxing flight.
13
However badly off yourself, there is somebody worse off than you. This does sound terrible, but can you imagine what it must be like to be Renato, Peter Mandelson’s other half, when he has to take the old bugger on a plane?: a portable lavatory, waterproof knickers and adult nappies, pile ointment, not to mention a selection of butt plugs and a gallon drum of lube leave alone the worry of having to watch him on the plane all the time to make sure he doesn’t get up to anything with the male air stewards. It must be hell for the poor duckie, and he no speako the English to go with it.
8
Nevermind cripples,fat fucks, and windowlickers.
Airlines should cater for tall people.
I need 4 seats so I can sit with my legs in front of me.
not everyone is a fuckin midget.
11
When on my last holiday, I never book any assistance. I do suffer a bit with an arthritic left knee, but don’t like to make a fuss, so I didn’t book the Gatwick ‘Chuff Chuff Chariot’ as I call it, which makes all those pneumatic exhaust noises so that everone else gets out of it’s way in time as it makes it’s way through the departure hall. So unaided, apart from my trusty walking stick I finally made it to the U.K. security, where they promptly took it off me, without even asking if I would be alright without it, so as to get it X rayed, because it is hollow. Only afterwards did I wish I had at that point just collapsed in a heap, but it may have damaged something far worse than my knee, & ruined the holiday. At the Destination – Samos (a very eastern island) I was immediately singled out, because of my walking cane, & her ladyship, & I were fast tracked to the front of the cue, with the others that had asked for the assistance. Same thing happened on the return journey, the staff were very helpful, & asked me if I needed any assistance back at Gatwick, I turned it down, although maybe I should have gone for it. Gatwick is getting to be a bit of a jog now, & the walkerlators were playing up. Back in England I then faced the usual retards walking towards me, expecting me to get out of their way. Samos was so pleasant.
9
I am of the opinion, if you can’t climb the stairs to get onto the aircraft then tough, if you can then you don’t need assistance.
Mind you I wouldn’t allow any smelly P’s on Aircraft, or soots, or ragheads, or quares, or lower classes.
Maybe there should be special planes for wheelchair users, ramp at the back and just wheel them on, obviously they would be much more expensive which would keep the riff-raff away.
5
You don’t climb the stairs there is a lift that enters you opposite side of the plane, lovely.
5
Luxury 😂
4
Fuck that.
I want them to carry me up on a stretcher.
5
What annoys me is seeing Islamic fundamentalists waved through security whilst old age British pensioners are put in headlocks, slammed on to the metal table, and then subjected to a body-cavity search in full view of all the other passengers.
It’s a fucking disgrace.
11
In a similar vein, it irks me to see people without children using the parent and child parking spaces at the shops. We will take our grandchild to the supermarket and find all those spaces are used up, so are then forced to try and get a baby out of the back in very limited space, then dealing with the pram, etc. whilst people are impatiently trying to drive past. We will then notice fat middle aged slags and young lads returning to their cars, without children, in spaces that should have been available to us. For the sake of walking an extra 15 yards, the lazy ignorant bastards. There will be 50 disabled spaces that are mostly empty which nobody dares to set foot in, but all the cunts take advantage of the other type, which are genuinely helpful to those with kids.
7
Contrarian here and absolutely nothing personal, just a general broadside. Feel the same of parent & child spaces as I do ‘Baby On Board’ signs. Congratulations, someone’s minge worked, get on with life.
8
Baby on board signs serve two purposes, which are nothing to do with showing off that you have a baby:
a) expresses the hope that the many retarded cunts driving like maniacs up people’s backsides might back off a little if they know there’s an infant a few metres in front of their car.
b) it tells the emergency services what side the baby is on if there is a crash. There are awful cases where it tells them which side of the vehicle they have been ejected from.
Also, don’t complain about wôgs taking over if you haven’t done your part to create the next generation.
7
Calm down and have a nice cup of coffee in the concourse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75R1AW5YrZ4
2
I like the cripple khazi in Morrisons.
loads of room, cleaner than the gents,
always bogroll if I’m having a Eartha Kitt.
Nobody’s ever challenged me about it,
but then not every disability is visible.
mines Tourettes
mind you’re own fuckin business
8
I always use the disabled shitter, it’s just dignified not to have to share your blasting and plopping.
Last year I came out of one and a waiting Castle Bingo-type 70ish woman cantankerously harangued me that “You do realise that’s a disabled toilet”. I said “Aaw poor toilet” and carried on.
8
I’ve used them for years. I always laugh to myself after my absolutions, whilst washing my cock & arsehole in the low sink for wheelchair users hands.
7
And what disability is it that makes people unable to flush? Yesterday I walked into a Tesco khazi to be confronted with a bowl of marinating chipolatas. And no paper had been used either, so some dirty DLA cunt was going round the shop minging of unwiped arse and potentially handling produce. Is there a disabled condition called ‘Dirtycuntitis’?
7
Never ever use a cold salad, self serve counter in a supermarket. I was appallingly ill once after getting lunch from one at a sainsburys in Leeds. Same thing that happens on cruise ships and hotels. Dirty, disgusting people putting their unwashed hands on food, or allowing the hand of the grabbers or spoon to fall into the food. God only knows what risks are posed now with the kinds of people our country is increasingly full of.
10
Are you the twat who was occupyng the cripple crapper? Nasty man there were 4 inches touching cloth.
4
Having already explained that I’ve never flown and don’t drive either. The only travelling other than walking unaided is cycling. That way I don’t have the stress of air and road travel. Just me riding my bicycle anywhere I please to stay healthier and live longer. I’m already an octogenarian and planning to go further. All for free.
4
personally getting a tad pissed off with the airport experience 🙁 with all the rigmarole of queues and tanned security cunts…then the forlorn look at the departure board with the delayed flight number mocking you, so you’ll have to spend another £20 on a bacon 🥓 roll and overpriced pint of pap, followed by when you eventually get on the flight and strapped in the pilot takes great delight in announcing a further delay due to traffic restrictions 😵💫 but don’t worry we’ll have you away as soon as possible (with a couldn’t give a toss either way tone) … finally upon reaching your destination you are herded into a separate queue for ‘breetish passport dis way you pigs’ one 😩…then waiting for the coach is an event because you are waiting for all the mongs who haven’t a clue where to go and are wandering like zombies… anyway happy holidays 👋
10
I found that the airport experience went bad after 9/11 and hasn’t recovered. However, it can depend on the airports in question, along with the destinations, airlines, as well as pure luck.
I usually find that smaller, more efficiently run airports are much more pleasant to use. There may be less of a choice of flights, but in all other respects they are better. I have had great experiences using Southend Airport, where you get off the train, walk through a small car park to the terminal and you can see your plane parked on the adjoining tarmac. Plenty of seats, nice cafe and bar, that’s all I need. A coffee or pint, possibly a snack, minimal amounts of walking through crowds. Liverpool has also been excellent for me, very efficient through security and then have forgotten I was even in an airport as I was able to relax for a bit with a beer. Free drop off a few minutes walk away. London City Airport is great as well.
Gatwick is a fucking toilet. Horrible ugly people everywhere, queues, walking for miles and miles and nearly missing a flight, having to leg it because the gate was so stupidly far away. Manchester is a shithole as well. Ripping me off with charges before I’ve even got out of the car, no seats, a stuffy labrynth full of yobs and more ugly foreigners flying to shitholes I never want to visit. Heathrow is also crap. Why would I need a Rolex shop? Oh yeah, because stupid Arabs and Chinese people want to buy them.
None of the British airports are particularly beautiful the way foreign ones are, but that just seems to be how we do infrastructure outside of the capital these days.
Any foreign destination that disrespects me on arrival as an Englishman will be permanently blacklisted from my future travel plans.
10
FC –
I’d imagine the advantage of travelling through the Scouserpool airport is you don’t need to worry about your carry on luggage….because it’s been nicked.
It’s been many years since I flew anywhere. I’ve always liked Gatwick over Heathrow, probably because being a sountherner, it’s so much closer to the places I need to be. For some reason most of the transatlantic carriers don’t fly into Gatwick anymore and the few that do make it way more expensive than Heathrow. Cunts.
The last time I flew out of Heathrow back to the US it was a shit show. In the security line we (Mrs. Yank was with me) got accosted by some old decrepid Indian tart to thought it appropriate to give us the third degree about our travel plans. My wife (who’s American and holds an American passport – obvs) got grilled about why she was flying back to her home country….like she was doing something wrong. When the curry eating slag picked on me, I had to listen to what I thought was, “What is it that you are doing for your leaving?”. Erm…..”I’m getting on a plane” was my genuine response. I honestly thought that was what she was asking me – yeah I know it doesn’t make sense. After being asked the same thing multiple times with an ever increasing accusatory tone (what a charmer she was) I realised she was asking what I do for a living. Like that makes any fucking difference to anything. She was rude, aggressive, tried the old ‘I’m security so be intimidated you pleb’ routine. I pushed back as hard as I felt I could get away with vowing to take this further. Upon my return to the US I did write to the manager of Heathrow to complain about our treatment. To his credit he replied and apologised. I know – shocker.
Filth like that shouldn’t be in the UK, let alone be allowed to push around law abiding actual English (and one American) people. Bitch. Next time I fly to the UK (this coming December) I’ll be entering on my UK passport and adopting a ‘get out of my way I’m a native’ attitude. When I fly back to the US, I’ll be leaving on my US passport with pretty much the same approach.
If you never hear from me again, you’ll know why.
12
Sounds like the curry was strong in that one, IY. Also sounds like she was a DEI hire there to make up numbers, and waste everyone’s time taking shite.
The worst member of staff I’ve had to deal with was at Toronto Airport. She was youngish and had a foreign, Megain Markle kind of complexion. Her arrogance was off the scale. Sat there lounging back with her hands clasped behind her head, snatched my passport from me and was speaking to me like I was dirt on the floor. This, after I’ve just had a horrendous, delayed ten hour journey. An unsackable, unionised piece of shit like so many in that ridiculous country. I won’t go into the details but she was a nasty little bitch who deliberately entered my address incorrectly into the system and then caused me a lot of stress and inconvenience afterwards.
I later made a complaint but didn’t hear back.
7
FC –
Wow! Sorry you had to endure that treatment, mate. Most of the time the US staff have been very polite and professional when I’ve re-entered the US using my previously held Permanent Resident card (green card). However there was one time when a cunt asked me how I got my card. I said I was able to apply through marriage to a US citizen. He then asked if I was still married. I said no I wasn’t to which he retorted something like “how convenient”. Something like that, clearly implying I’d abused the immigration rules through a marriage of convenience. I was livid, but what could I do? Start a full scale row with an armed uniformed immigration official? We all know where that would have lead. What a bastard.
Can’t wait to re-enter the US flashing my US passport. “Let me back in bitches – I’m official”. Anything to declare sir? Nope and let’s not mention the 3 tons of BBQ Beef Hula Hoops in my suitcase. They’re for medicinal purposes.
P.S. Yes, undoubtedly a DEI hire. Old shrivelled up ugly pushy cow. Very unpleasant demeanour. Shocking when you consider her job is to interact with the travelling public. If she’d been a young pretty nubile piece of skirt, I’d have insisted on a body cavity search. Hers preferably. 😉
6
🤣
3
I agree Heathrow is a shithole filled with Asians of all flavours. Cunts to a man or woman. Imagine my delight having to take up residence for five fucking hours. One cunt told me to move my suitcase, my reply fuck off or its going up your arse sideways. He wisely decided to fuck off elsewhere.
5
I always fly using assisted travel as I wear a prosthetic leg, jet2 are brilliant but the amount of people I see abusing the service makes me fucking mad.
9
Hope i never have to fly again.
I hated the airport
the staff
the flight
the destination
everything.
id be happy never to travel further than 20 miles for the rest of my life.
9
oh and they say travel broaden the mind.
bollocks.
Judith chalmers went around the world 3 times and shes thick as pigshit.
8
Some comedian, I forget who, did a bit years ago about the raspberries who get driven around in airports on those annoying beeping electric golf cart things. The gist was if you’re that infirm that you can’t get yourself from A to B, then air travel isn’t for you. List of cunts who should not be allowed to fly:
– raspberries
– fatties
– kids
– people who lack basic personal hygiene
– people who talk loudly/too much
– anyone of middle eastern descent or heritage
– mudslimes
– parking stanleys
– fuck it…anyone who thinks they need to wear any kind of head covering of any kind whatsoever
– the Scottish
– the Irish
– anyone I don’t like (the list is massive)
What’s on your list?
I first flew in 1990. Gatwick to Minneapolis. On a 747. Got upgraded to whatever class sits upstairs. It was brill. I never would have believed the experience of flying would become so awful, so expensive, so intrusive and thoroughly unpleasant. I’ve lost count of the number of trips I didn’t take simply because I couldn’t stomach the flight and all it entails.
12
Never mind the lazy cunts getting wheeled aboard,what happens if there’s a non fatal emergency?
If that flight from the sand nígger shithole to Israel had some cripples aboard it seems likely the nice persons who “sorted out” the mad axe wielding co-pilot snackbar devotee wouldn’t have been able to get to the cockpit for all the wheelchairs,commodes and care assistants blocking the aisle.
Asking for trouble if you ask me.
4
Please accept my apologies if any ISAC members are crippled.
But you could go by coach instead.🤡
5
Or coach and ferry if crossing water is required.
Or better yet, just stay home and keep out of our way.
7
“ya brought that cripple with ya?”
Judd.
kes.
4
For those searching for a reason why air travel is so shit nowadays and why we are all treated like dirt, look no further than Islam.
It’s because of this religion of piss that aircraft have been hijacked, blown out of the sky or flown into skyscrapers.
But because of the insane desire not to positively discriminate and to pander to every Muslim on the planet, everyone, including the elderly and the very young are treated the same as a bearded Achmed with an oversized backpack or a ticking suitcase.
Oh, and that cunt Michael O’Leary.
6
Speaking of O’Bogtrotter.
I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he tried adding a surcharge for disabled access to his flights.
No doubt it would be something he’d regard as fair.
Something like a charge per metre covered by one of those golf buggy type things, whereby if you travel 90 metres, the cunt will round it up to a thousand.
The despicable Oirish p1key piece of shit.
5
My former next door neighbour (Hello Steve) works at both Manchester and Heathrow airports. He once told me wo were the biggest most obnoxious cunts and who were the nicer ones…
Cunts.
Cilla Black (the worst, he said).
Madonna (close second to Cilla).
Steve Coogan.
Nicole Kidman.
James Corden.
Elton John.
Robbie Williams.
Nice ones.
Noel Gallagher (of all people)
George Michael.
Scarlett Johansson (also fit as fuck, he said).
Kylie Minogue.
Rod Stewart.
Don Johnson.
Grace Slick (Jefferson Airplane).
8
Forgot one. He also told me Denzel Washington was the most rude, nasty, white staff hating uppity sambeaux cunt ever.
8
Over many years Norman I’ve occasionally been an employee and a contractor at the BBC. Amongst the numerous well known faces there some of them were nice people. Most were really just normal people with the usual range of foibles you find in the general population. A handful were 24 carat gold plated bastards and most people would be shocked to see who some members of this group were.
4
Right about most people – famous or not – just wanting a quiet life Arfur. But the ones who are cunts really are cunts.
My mate Steve told me Madonna wanted her well over the limit luggage to be for free. When she was refused, the old slag tantrumed and sat on the airport floor like a spoilt three your old. She also – via her toadie PA – that no staff on the airline make no eye contact with her and only speak when/if spoken to,.A complete cunt. And apparently Cilla was even worse than that.
On the other hand, he said Scarlett J was a class act. He also told me her voice alone would make a bloke rush to the bogs who have a Thomas the Tank. He was stamping the visa while trying not to look at her tits.
8
Her voice alone would make a bloke run to the bogs to have a Thomas the Tank, that was meant to say.
Coogan is supposed to be a right twat. A bit like Partridge in fact. The cunt ignores anyone who speaks to him or asks for an autograph. Walks on blankly, even if it’s a little kid. Doesn’t even say no, just ignores them.
My airport friend also said that Sean Connery was a top bloke when he met him at Heathrow in the 90s.
2
And, here’s possibly a surprising one.
Tommy Steele is supposed to be one of the biggest cunts ever.
When he arrived to do his Scrooge at the Palace Theatre in Manchester, Steele was even worse than old Ebenezzer when he checked in at Ringway. A complete bastard, like a cockney Jerry Lewis (and he really was a cunt).
3
Special assistance and golf.
You are indeed a cunt.
7