A cunt or not a cunt?
Some while ago I cunted getting trough airports for the many different stages which passengers had to go through, horrendous queues, Diego cops, facial recognition finger printing and a several mile walk carrying the same weight as a SAS Bergen in the Brecon Beacons on their selection March.
I was sick of it and decided that I to would allow some person to wheel me in a chair through all said obstacle’s and allow Mrs E/C to carry the afore mentioned Bergen or pack less fucking weight.
I wrote on here that it went well breezing through checkpoint Charlie and all the other ones involved, sometimes skipping the eye recognition and finger print stages altogether just because I put on a gormless face, dribbled from my mouth and used an inhaler.
A few weeks ago I buggered off to the canary islands for a post summer holiday. Did the wheeze work as well?
Our plane was delayed for half and hour because of the large number of assisted travellers on board. Oh dear. Biggles then made up the time by burning up more fuel and speeding, the naughty boy.
On arrival at EMA a woman collected me and wheeled me to the meet and greet parking lot and then onto my car. What a woman. 10/10
Thank goodness she fucked off before I opened the boot where my golf clubs where lain. So yes I’m a cunt but assisted travel is brill.
Nominated by Everyonesacunt.
There is something about the modern airport and flying experience that makes me hate people even more than usual.
Perhaps it is to do with having large numbers of them feeling varying degrees of anxiety, turning them into especially dopey, annoying arseholes. Fear of flying, fear of missing their flight, fear of losing their passport, fear of being sat next to a fat cunt, fear of being charged £14 for a pint of piss, fear of their 12″ dildo being discovered, fear of their luggage going missing, fear of being blown to smithereens by a raghead, fear of their flight being a future episode of Air Crash Investigation… All packed in together like sardines.
The behaviour that particular irritates me is the whole nonsense over the seats. I sit there watching them and just sigh…
“Oh… I think…”
“yes?”
“Is this row 12?
“Ehrrmm… it is!”
“I’m 12E… are you sat in my…?
“I’m sure this is my seat, hang on…”
“Oh wait, you’re in 12B!”
“Ah!”
“So 12E… Oh wait! it’s 13E. Sorry!”
Fucking hell. Just sit down (not near me) and shut the fuck up!
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Deplaning (not sure that’s even a word) is the worst.
We’re sending probes to Mars at this point in our evolution and yet it takes upwards of 20 minutes to get off the plane once it’s parked at the gate. Why FFS? Just why? I’ll tell you.
At the front we’ll have one or two speedy merchants who want off the plane and are fit and ready for the door to open. Great! Behind them we have the dick who can’t remember if their carry on bag is in the overhead bin above their seat, opposite their seat, in front of their seat or behind. Oh that’s right, it was behind so the entitled cunt then shoves everyone else who’s already in the aisle out of their way as they try to remember where they put it.
Meanwhile, we have the doddery old dear who takes a week to get her bag down from the overhead bin. Then we have the twat whose bag is behind someone else’s in the overhead bin and has to fuss with it for 10 minutes before they can prize it out.
Meanwhile, some dopey bitch got her bag and is moving up the aisle towards the exit when she remembers she left her book in the seat pocket where she was sitting. Cue more pushing and shoving as she makes her way back down the aisle to where she was sitting, expecting everyone to just get out of her way. Hey love, not my problem….buy another book and fuck off.
Meanwhile, we have the fucktard family who have distributed their shed load of carry on in various overhead bins and want to get all of them before moving an inch in the direction of the exit. FFS!
I could go on and on and on and on. Bottom line is, once the plane is parked and the seatbelt sign has been turned off, if you cannot be ready to leave the plane baggage and belongings in hand in under 5 seconds, you should not be on a plane in the first place. There should be ritual killings for these mongs who just waste everyone else’s time and seem to think that’s OK. It’s not. Cunts.
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Been all over the world 🌎, I don’t bother flying anymore ( apart from my paraglider).
To much fucking hassle…!
West country for me…🏄
Fuck the EU..
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Mr Beau macheted both his legs off so that he would be guaranteed assistance on all flights.
Unfortunately, we can’t afford to fly anywhere.
😀🛩️
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