A cunt or not a cunt?
Some while ago I cunted getting trough airports for the many different stages which passengers had to go through, horrendous queues, Diego cops, facial recognition finger printing and a several mile walk carrying the same weight as a SAS Bergen in the Brecon Beacons on their selection March.
I was sick of it and decided that I to would allow some person to wheel me in a chair through all said obstacle’s and allow Mrs E/C to carry the afore mentioned Bergen or pack less fucking weight.
I wrote on here that it went well breezing through checkpoint Charlie and all the other ones involved, sometimes skipping the eye recognition and finger print stages altogether just because I put on a gormless face, dribbled from my mouth and used an inhaler.
A few weeks ago I buggered off to the canary islands for a post summer holiday. Did the wheeze work as well?
Our plane was delayed for half and hour because of the large number of assisted travellers on board. Oh dear. Biggles then made up the time by burning up more fuel and speeding, the naughty boy.
On arrival at EMA a woman collected me and wheeled me to the meet and greet parking lot and then onto my car. What a woman. 10/10
Thank goodness she fucked off before I opened the boot where my golf clubs where lain. So yes I’m a cunt but assisted travel is brill.
Nominated by Everyonesacunt.
That sounds a bit like parking in a Disabled Parking place. Once upon a time you would have been strung up by your testicles for doing it, now everyone is at it.
6
I get your drift but I saw so many fat much younger monsters doing it I just thought fuck it. I am 65 and do suffer arthritis in both knees which require injecting a couple of times a year spent 14 years down pit and 23 years teaching PE so they do fucking hurt. So in my own cunt of a mind fuck the obese 30 plus fuckers.
5
I think that probably entitles you EAC, anyone who has done 14 years down a pit deserves a bit of consideration.
Having said that there are so many fuckers abusing the system it pisses me off.
Well done getting Mrs. EAC to carry the hand baggage.
3
You need to get one of those Scamborghinis,EC.
But don’t drive it around Stevenage town centre,I think they are about to introduce a congestion charge due to the sheer volume of them.
6
Wouldn’t know. I’ve been flown.
1
Even though still able bodied.
2
Wouldn’t know. I’ve never flown.
4
That’s it for me.
I do pity the ones who have to fly and have to put up with nuisance travellers. I enjoy watching them being evicted from aeroplane’s, whereas in my opinion, I’d have them put in the human bomb compartment and dropped over the sea.
4
I’ve tried and failed to get ‘bizarre sexual perversity’ listed as ‘special needs’ to skip queues.
My assistance monkey (the one with the nimble hands) gets very impatient queueing as he gets too hot in his studded leather tabard.
8
Morning Cunt Engine….I would love to see the face of the elderly woman who opens the overhead storage locker only to see you indulging in your Claustrophilia fetish and greeting her with a cheery “guten tag”.
3
Why not pretend to have Saint Vitus dance, Thomas. That would get you onboard sharpish.
1
I’ve had some dealings with a disabled person and air travel. Without exception every stage was catastrophically badly handled from initially booking the flight through every stage within the airport all the way to remortgaging the house to raise the money to leave the car park. The systems are completely unfit for purpose and ALL the people you deal with appear to be of subnormal intelligence and entirely lacking even common sense.
3
The misery of air travel.
Another fucking thing that we can thank lunatic Muslims for.
Some smelly Pákí decides to stick explosives in his trainers and hundreds of millions of travelers every year since have to get their shoes x-rayed.
Other fanatical head cases take control of some planes and fly into buildings, resulting in higher security checks for everyone forever more.
Eye scanning and facial recognition, except for the people from the religion that causes the trouble.
They can’t be asked to remove their face coverings because of their religious rights.
All travelers, regardless of their colour or age are treated like suspects, not clients.
So good luck to anyone that use any ruse to make their journeys easier.
Good morning.
6
A solid “Howard Hughes” level of barbiturates then stretchered onto the aircraft.
Better than First Class.
It’s the only way to travel.
2
Interesting fact. 98.6% of Liverpool and Manchester airport passengers (not fucking ‘customers’j ask for assisted boarding on the off chance that the benefits people are on the prowl.
1
Notice how all the Border Force cunts are parking stanleys? Waiving through the darquies and fucking over whitey? Home Office policy, innit. I am surprised they haven’t reopened the aerodrome at Croydon, for exclusively blick drug runner use.
0
I seem to recall in the early 80’s,the PLO had a novel way of getting wheelchair users off a plane quite quickly.
0
Good morning ladies and gentlemen, my name is Kayleigh and I am your In-flight Services Manager for this Budget Airlines flight to Grottaria.
Please pay attention to the following Safety Announcement. In the highly likely event of an emergency evacuation of the plane, please leave by the nearest door to your seat where my colleagues Kylie and Kayla are presently standing looking like a couple of tarted-up streetwalkers.
For those passengers who required special assistance to board the plane, you’ll on your own now chums because I’m not going to break a nail helping queue-dodging cunts like you.
I wish you an enjoyable and relaxing flight.
0