Get ready guys and gals for airlines to introduce compulsory wearing of seat belts at all times, no walking up and down the aisle during a flight and being escorted in a protective suit to go to the toilet……just in case.
Sounds unlikely or even bonkers?
Well, if enough of these compo chasing cunts win these erroneous cases then it could happen for fear of the airlines being sued….for a natural phenomenon- an ‘act of god’; if you like
This old cunt is trying to sue an airline for turbulence….yup- as if it was something an airline would be in control of!
Read the story (below) this compo cunts husband didn’t even die as a result of this turbulence throwing him around- he died of a heart attack shitting himself when it started.
I hope this gets thrown out of court…..and no doubt the no win no fee lawyer gets told to fuck off forever. Don’t get me wrong, I have no interest in airlines, but I do have an interest in freedom and lessening red tape, but cases like this..if won, will result in airlines introducing some, if not all the suggested outcomes I made at the beginning of this cunting. It’s because of people like this, we now have ‘warning contents may be hot’ on coffee cups. You think…we don’t need that, then you read a story like this and businesses then start to cover their arses..just in case.
Nominated by Chuff Cugger.
The airlines just need to include clauses against ‘natural weather pattern effects on the plane’ as an included term and condition when you buy the ticket online. Nip it in the bud.
Simple surely?
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Agreed, and anybody wanting to would be invited to take out additional personal insurance on a ‘just in case ‘basis.
As soon as the grasping twats had to choose between emptying rather than lining their penny pinching pockets they’d soon sit down and shut up.
Everything’s somebody else’s fault these days.
Whenever I come across the type who’d make such a claim I have to suppress a strong desire to punch them in the face and tell them that it’s their own fault for being a cunt.
Truth told, my word of choice would be shithouse.
10
The only point of seat belts on a plane is to keep your body strapped to the seat for ease of identification if it crashes.
A seatbelt is otherwise useless when ploughing into the side of a mountain at 500mph.
10
Severely fat fuckers ought be strapped into their seats for the flight’s entire duration.
Partly as a hedge against them potentially falling over on a kid if there’s severe turbulence and partly because fat fuckers deserve to be punished for their gluttony and selfishness.
Hopefully they’ll get deep vein thrombosis and croak.
In fact, they shouldn’t be allowed to fly full stop.
Morning Odin/all.
11
Fat cunts requiring two or more seats should be made to charter a C-17 Globemaster and be unceremoniously loaded on board, ratchet strapped to one of those scates they use to load cargo containers.
8
Good cunting.
Flying used to be a lot more exciting. You never knew whether you would make it to your preferred destination. Some times you might have to eat each other to survive following a crash in mountainous regions. Or you may have to rebuild the crashed aircraft in order to escape marauding Bedouins. Even the Bermuda Triangle has gone quiet. Nowadays the only risk you run is some mardy tart refusing to sit down as she is too pissed, or the peanuts being off limits as someone at the back has a fucking nut allergy. Fuck off.
Good morning, everyone.
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On a six week holiday to Singapore Indonesia and Australia. Shock horror her Kindle fell on the floor. Two pieces of information to instantly deduce Guardian Reading, Rapefugees Welcome, Only Rich Liberals Like Us Allowed To Fly, Cunts. Or rather just Cunt now so at least half a happy ending.
9
The picture looks like a normal Ryanair flight 😩… wonder what she’d think about being aboard an RAF bomber over Germany with flak bursting all around you💥🫨…
11
She’d claim against the Germans.
3
I think you said your father was in a Halifax Gelderd? I’d be wishing I was in a Mosquito.
2
@arf… correct 🧭 he was, I’d have thought this silly bint would have remembered the sacrifices of those who served, instead of bleating about air turbulence on a flight 🤨 did she think she was floating along on a fluffy cloud 🖕
4
Well, if the turbulence didn’t get them, some tropical disease would’ve finished them off.
I’m all for an active retirement, but I’d think twice about the far east at their age.
6
Soon all planes will be piloted by DEI recruits, so a seat belt will be the least of your worries, as you fly into a mountain, or a tower block..
7
I haven’t used aircraft since Lockerbie – it couod, so easily, happen again.
I was a bit dubious after the R101.
If God had meant us to fly, he would have given us tickets.
6
Can’t be easy running a Taiwan porn studio without flying? Slow boat to China?
5
The call of the sea has never left me.. I should be carving ships in bottles in Hastings Old Town,, and not sitting in landlocked Kentish Town. The trouble is I am too old now – I ahve been breathing too much lately 🙂
6
Cheer up WC, in a few weeks time you’ll have a keen new MP.
3
God help us Arfur, the piccinini with the watermelon smile dressed in old rags or Zaxk Polanski ditto where the old rags are concerned.
2
Oh Christ yes, I didn’t think it through did I WC? Sorry! Honestly, I wasn’t taking the piss.
3
Mrs Kitchen obviously is not a seasoned international traveller.
She should realise,indeed her ambulance chaser should have informed her,that the bill for the first round of drinks in the bar of the hotel in Singapore would have brought on a fatal gripper for the unfortunate Mr Kitchen.
Or perhaps he may have survived until Australia,where a boxing kangaroo would have killed him at the airport.
Anyway,Mrs Kitchen will undoubtedly win her case if some cunt can prove a link between turbulence and President Trump.
9
If the old cunt had made it to Oz perhaps one of those venomous snakes or spiders would have ensured he threw a seven. Mind you the Kangaroo v Geoff would have been amusing.
3
None of this would have happened if she had just stayed in the kitchen.
5
She is barking up the wrong tree, it’s not the fault of the airline, God did it.
No doubt the airline will settle and give the grifting cunt a payout.
6
Any time I fancy a weekend in a pub I usually fly, either Benbecula to Glasgow in a wee jet or Barra beach to Glasgow in what can only be described as a flying tin can, a twin otter, dont think the seat belt will do much good if that falls out the sky.
Last year I went to China and the Phillipines with a cheap Chinese airline, clapped out 777 both ways, if it wasnt for the rejuvenating mogadon I may not have enjoyed those flights, slept like a baby with my seatbelt firmly fastened.
6
Truth is you have much more chance of surviving the ditching of the Otter than any jet airliner CotI. The reason is the speeds involved. The Otter like similar aircraft has a stall speed of around 50 knots or even lower. Any jet airliner’s stall speed is above 100 knots and some substantially so. The laws of physics decree that if you hit the ground at maybe three times the speed you hit it nine times as hard. If you hit at anything like cruising speed, maybe 500 knots, then it really is goodnight Vienna. Clear air turbulence, CAT to pilots, has broken up airliners in mid-air. More planes have been lost to wind shear on take-off and landing and it gets really exciting if the wind is gusting. I’ve done an approach where ATC have been reading me the wind speed and direction continually all the way down. The Hunter that went in at Shoreham I think was undone by wind shear. I saw a video clip where as it approached the road it suddenly stepped smartly down, a classic symptom of wind shear.
Sit back and enjoy the ride!
3
Yes that descent was out of the ordinary. Never have figured out why such an experienced pilot made such a balls up.
2
On that day BB I was doing an oil change outside. I had the front wheels up on ramps and the wind was gusting such that I couldn’t catch all the oil in a bowl a foot below the drain plug, it was going all over the place. Assuming the pilot checked the weather as he fucking well should have done he would have been warned of the gusting.
1
Air China used to be very good and the cheapest business class available.
If you got yourself over to Schiphol airport any way that you could and fly from there, you used to be able to get business class for less than a cabin class ticket from the UK.
The business class lounges in Schiphol were good too.
Unlimited beer.
There were beer taps set into the tables.
6
Flew Hong Kong to Shanghai with air china, fucking thing shook and rattled all the way.
0
I think its a great idea, on night flights it may stop a particular kind of pervert wondering around having a bit of a feel of young girls.
4
Buckle up Land Whales!🤣🤣🤣
6
Oh do belt up in the back(!), Widow Kitchen…
5
I haven’t been on a plane for 20 year’s but even then air travel was getting to be a cunt.
Before, you could get yourself a seat in the smoking section at the back of the plane.
Most airlines had reasonable food and all of them had unlimited drinks on long haul.
There was ample free luggage allowance too.
You were treated like a customer and not a potential terrorist.
Then everyone involved got a bit above themselves.
From the check-in staff to the security people and flight attendants.
They started ordering you around.
It was obvious that they all thought that the airport and planes would be far better off if it wasn’t for the passengers.
I often have to go to an airport to wait for people.
The miserable looking bastards coming out of arrivals with their tiny suitcases on wheels that they took into the cabin look like they have escaped, not arrived.
Fucked if I would let some póóf steward or an overly made up stewardess boss me around on a plane.
They tried it with Mrs Cunter.
I paid for the first class ticket to the Caribbean for her a few years ago as her family visit coincided with her birthday.
Even in first class she was treated badly.
She complained to the airline when she got back and got a shit load of air miles out of them.
8
@art…you ain’t wrong about being treated like a potential twin tower pilot 🫨but the cunts doing the body scanning/security are all effnicks 🤨…talk about if you didn’t laugh you’d cry 😩
7
I remember the last flight that I made.
It was to Stanstead.
I’m not a snobbish cunt but I can afford to fly business or first, so I do (or rather did).
No option on a Ryanair flight, so I had to put up with various cunts on the plane tanoy for 3 fucking hours, trying to flog lottery tickets and stale sandwiches.
Then I got an immigration officer wearing a fucking turban asking why I was visiting the UK.
He also asked what I did for a living.
I told him that neither of these things had fuck all to do with him or to do with letting me into the country that I was born in.
He told me that they were routine questions so I asked where the form was for writing down my answers.
He backed down, I went through immigration and besides the return flight have never wanted to fly again.
I can see Europe by car.
5
I committed the supreme crime of carrying a bottle of maple syrup onto a plane from Whitehorse to Vancouver. Security were all over it, we will confiscate it, fuck off it’s maple syrup. How about we work around it? O.K. Out of security back to the airline desk check in a rucksack, back again to security turn everything out into the tray walk through the metal detector again with my pockets turned inside out showing them the white eared elephant. Security pissed themselves laughing at the cunt who had me running through hoops. He was not amused, but fuck him crossways.
5
I’m glad I wore my seatbelt on the way to Canada. we got really bad turbulence near Greenland, was fucking horrible for several hours. I usually keep it on unless I’m going to the loo. Clear air turbulence is scary when you experience it. Obviously there are cunts who will take advantage, but I can’t see them enforcing it em any time soon. To be honest all they need to do is turn the sign on, you are legally obliged to put your belt on when it’s lit up.
6
Exactly so Cc. When you are off the ground P1’s word is law, disobey him and you risk prosecution.
3
Poor old Geoff looked like a half dead cunt anyway.
I suspect not only severe turbulence on a flight would have finished him off, but even some brisk acceleration in an Kia EV may have caused him to throw a lucky seven.
At least Linda may get some compo. She can then resume her holiday to Oz and find herself a toyboy Abo, who would be only too pleased to help “the pretty Sheila” spend her compo on Abo turpentine.
7
I was in transit in Karachi Airport.
Some skinny, Pákí security guard who was carrying a gun bigger than him insisted on seeing my passport.
He carefully looked at it.
The cunt was holding it upside down.
Then we were all ushered into a queue to pay airport tax.
I waited my turn and told the cunt taking the money that he could fuck right off.
We were in transit.
The people in the queue behind me heard what was going on and very soon all of them started complaining.
They got away with stealing the money off the people in front of me in line, but got fuck all else.
8
She needs the money for a new kitchen.
4
I dont even wear a seat belt in the van.
doesn’t effect me anyway I dont fly but rather than seat belts airlines should concentrate on leg room in the seats,
who’d they design it for ?
Douglas Bader?
Tattoo from Fantasy island?
some people have legs
not fuckin stumps
think about it Freddy Laker you silly bollocks.
5
I heard your van was so old it didn’t have seat belts Mis?
4
That Vans engine starts first time every time I turn the crank,
thank you smart arse 😃
4
That told him Mis, next time we’ll scratch his eyes out.
2
ps
Look Linda.
face facts.
a strong fart would of killed Geoff.
He looks frail as fuck.
where was you taking him?
Lourdes?
6
Heading ‘daahhn Ssarfff’ in the mid 90s courtesy of a Crab Air Tri-Star, we crossed the doldrums and hit a pocket of turbulence that caused the aircraft to lose around 1000ft of altitude pretty quickly. The seat belt signs were on and most were in place.
The crab fat steward serving Luke warm water to bored squaddies in the isle was however caught unaware and ended up wedged somewhere between the lockers and the cabin ceiling, then head butted a chair arm rest on his way back down.
The squaddies pissed themselves laughing at his misfortune. Us civvies kept quiet reminding ourselves that the RAFs finest hour was back in 1940.
7
I’m surprised that semi housetrained p1key, O’Leary, hasn’t started charging extra for a seatbelt on Ryanair flights yet.
Let’s face it, the robbing bog trotter gets away with charging for every other travel essential.
He’d add a surcharge for breathing above 20,000 feet if he could.
6
I think it was O’leary who “floated” the idea of standing only flights.
Amazingly it failed to gain traction with the Civil Aviation Authority.
4
He’s a vile specimen, that’s for sure.
He looks a bit like that other Oirish p1key, Michelle O’Neil.
In fact, has anyone ever seen them in the same room together?
4
They should have separate sections. A soundproofed area for people with screaming kids, and another area with optional crash helmets for muppets who don’t want a seat belt during turbulence. That could be at the back so the rest of us don’t have to traipse through the bloody floor on the way out.
5
I don’t have a seat belt on my hanglider, turbulence is fun..😁
5
Here’s some spicy turbulence we can all enjoy..
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckn9wenz8wjwo
4
Oh no! What a choker.
Still, never mind.
4
That’s upsetting, UT.
Upsetting that the explosion wasn’t 100 times larger.
5
OT, national news on the BBC this evening, Dame Caroline Dinenage, Lady Lancaster of Kimbolton, MP for Gosport is leading member of a bunch of MPs investigating why UK does badly in the Eurovision song contest. Clearly well worth every penny of her £98,599 salary plus unlimited expenses. Fuck me sideways.
9
She’s Fred “I knew the Krays” missus.
4
Sorry, not missus – whelp.
2
Seatbelts on a plane utterly pointless, when the woman pilots hormones kick in and she decides to Clancy the flight into the ocean or a handy mountain they won’t save anyone.
Something well known by the folk who like Alan’s Snackbar.
4
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-32610497
All the suicidal pilots were men Paul. I’ve flown with female pilots. None caused me any concern.
2
I used to love the bucket shops. The interthingy has destroyed such fun. Soulless, faceless process is the name of the game. Soon all travel will be virtual, but you will still have to wear seat belts to please the fucking lefty cunts. Stay safe, wankers.
4