What an honour it is to be British

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”King becomes first monarch to reveal tax bill as royal public funding to double to £100m”

Yes, he pays a few mill while we, the taxpayers pay him £100 mill.
And what the fuck does he need 100 mill for? Well a 1000 or so lackies, a few dozen palaces, a family of half witted scroungers, helicopters planes and trains, protection round the clock . All on Benefits.
And why does the homeopathic fucking halfwit get these Benefits? He is related to some German cunt. Not the Tudors (I am closer to the fuckers than him) or the rest. Some German cunt.

What an honour to be British.

bbcnews

Nominated by Cuntsable Cuntbubble.

59 thoughts on “What an honour it is to be British”

  2. I am sure many of you will be delighted to know that, as I write, the unofficial queen of Britain is on his way to the Palace to resign – yes that’s right , Sir Keir Rodney Starmer KBE KC is on his way out.

    I know many of you will be upset about this. After all, what of his future? He isn’t getting any younger (and now with no excuse to visit Macron and Zelensky he won’t be getting any), but I am honoured to tell you that from tomorrow, he has graciously accepted the offer to become General Manager of The Steaming Pussycat Strip Club, which, as you know is in the centre of Soho. This will be an onerous job, making sure that Emily Thornberry, Britain’s oldest working striptease artiste is sober enough to appear, making up Bridget Phillipson’s arse for her nude bed show, and hundreds of minor details, like wiping the cum of the public lavatory seats, and preventing arguments between the girls, and arranging the Sunday night drag acts.

    As a concession to allow us to obtain the service of “Mr. Entertainment” himself, he will be allowed to perform his tap dance once a week, between acts and tell a few off-colour jokes. We will also be allowing him a half share in the brothel we run from Lord Ali’s Covent Garden penthouse flat (all tastes catered for – gay, straight and don’t knows). It’s a very hard job keeping all those gobby girls in line – Jess Phillips the lesbian speciality act is especially prickly. It will be he that carries the whip and giant butt plug on stage that is part of her act, and also young Yvette’s python. A slippery customer, almost as slippery as Mr S himself.

    It is a hard and demanding job and I am sure he will die on stage just as often as he did at PMQs but somebody has to do it. He has come far – his dad was a toolmaker, you know. He will ensure Britain continues to lead the world in sleaze.

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    • He will be sorely missed, WC, but how gratifying to know that he will be doing something more in tune with his talents in future.

      King of the North takes over this afternoon, and is currently putting the final touches to his Cabinet appointments. Not an easy task, as Rodney has bequeathed him a talent pool drier than Queen Camilla’s cunt.

      The King is dead, long live the King.

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      • I think they do keep some for a time at least Sammy, even if it is only an obese PCSO.

  3. There is no point in being King if you can’t have as much money as you like, and as many servants as possible. Any attempt to curb royal spending is a direct and treasonous affront to the institution.*

    God save King Charles.

    Good morning everyone.

    * As approved by the late Lord St John of Fawsley.

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  4. I would only agree to be KIng if I were able to behead Harry Hewitt, and any of my other sponging relatives who pissed me off. Oh and Prime Ministers who annoyed me as well.And Mandy. That is the only fun in the job

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  5. Big-ears would go right up in my estimation if footage emerged of him releasing half a dozen captured Robertsons on the Sandringham estate, giving them 10 minutes head start and chasing them down in a jewel-encrusted golf buggy driven by a lackey, taking poorly-aimed shots at with a blunderbuss, blowing their legs to kingdom come then running them over, before serving their remains up in a large pie at the evening’s banquet.

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      • Afternoon CM…being inbred, they’re not fit enough to provide even a moment’s sporting entertainment.
        After all, can you name me a pakı athlete?
        Under 14’s rape champion doesn’t count.
        Tell you what, we’ll tie teams of two up with robust sausage links, load them into a trebuchet and fling them through a 200 ft long 100 ft high arc to come crashing down on rocks littered with broken glass and chunks of rancid bacon.

  7. I may have had a bit too much sun and got a bit giddy.

    I thought Andy Pandy giving his speech outside No10 said “bring back the rope” instead he said “bring back hope”.

    Oh well, same shit different day. ‘Hope’, ‘change’ etc, just like Johnson, Starmer, Cameron, May..zzzz.

    Proud to be British.

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  8. I reckon Burnham is insane.
    From being mayor of Manchester, which is a job in itself, to the whole country.
    All the shit about dinghy filth, terrorism, LGBT, Pakis, Brexit is now all on his nut.

    I think he’ll wish he never left Albert Square (the real one in Mcr, not the fictional DeadEnders shithole) in at least twelve months.

    And, I hope he shows that scrounging parasite Zelensky the door. You get no more from us ever. So fuck off. Same goes for those Palestinian shitehawks.

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    • I agree Norman, he’s all excited at the moment because he’s playing with the big train set now, but a little way down the line is a big shit-sandwich & he’s going to have to eat it.
      The Labour mob want free this & free that for the sick, lame & lazy, & the economy just can’t support it. So half his party is going to get pissed off with him, as well as about 80% of the electorate, because let’s not forget that Magic Grandpa got more votes in 2019 than Starmer did in 2024, so he hasn’t got a sizeable majority of the nation onside.
      They’ll be baying for blood in 18 months or so & it’ll end up with tears before bedtime for Andy Pandy, the fucking chancer. Just wait & see, they’ll be no more Mr Mayor after that.

      King of the North, my arse!

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      • Indeed Mr Gusset.

        I still wonder if this latest windbag cunt with his Ever Expanding Govt will last while Christmas once his £3,000,000,000 credit card bill comes due.

        Hopeless,lying Gravy Train Trash.

        Cheers!

  9. Old Jug Ears had better watch out, the King of the North is after taxing anyone with a few bob.

    Apparently now he King of Westeros and the four kingdoms he wants everyone to ‘pull with me’, oh dear missus, how very dare he.
    I am not pulling anything especially something a politician wants me to pull.

    We are still doomed, doomed I say.

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    • I triggered my iPad a while ago & as it came to life, it started to show a video of the scouser outside No10, saying ‘I’ve just cum…’ then cut back to the home page. So I’m guessing he must’ve got at least a handjob up at the palace.

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      • And he did it without a lectern in front to hide his winky stains 😳

        No kissing hands, something else must have been kissed.

  10. 70 years waiting to become King.
    You would have thought that he would have had enough time to work out what he was going to do when the job was eventually his, but no.

    He has done fuck all except exist.

    The chimp eared, scrounging cunt is king of 15 other countries.

    As far as I know, none of those countries has to pay for the dubious honour.
    Only Britain.

    Him and his family should be fucked off to one of those places and see how the people there want to pay for having them all.

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  11. I didn’t mind Liz, she was more what royalty is supposed to be about; maintaining her distance from the great unwashed, as you would expect. I think she knew the big-eared soft lad wasn’t going to cut it as king & hung on to the bitter end, hoping that he’d get tangled up in one of his tree creepers and be strangled before she popped her clogs.
    Alas not, so now we have a king worthy of the tree hugging, immo loving, gender-confused nation Britain has become …& the cunt’s on benefits too, just like Dirty Angie’s family & half the rest of the nation that the new PM scouser vermin intends to give money to.

    Fucked, royally so.

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    • I suspect King William will be even worse. The only saving grace he has is that he is likely to loathe little brother Harold (that is what he calls him), even More than Charles lll. It seems, according to some woman I heard on a radio broadcast who knows all about Royalty (Lady Colin somebody or other? – she sounds as if she might be a tranny), that what upset William most about “Spare” that appalling misery memoir that Harry Hewitt let it be known that he and William are circumcised. I would have thought he had dropped worse bricks than that. It is frequently suggested that William will have Harry and those ugly tarts that are the daughters of Mr Mountbatten-Windsor, removed from the Royal circle, bag and baggage, plus spendthrift Fergie as well, but in her case I think she will soon become a gangsters moll. If she isn’t already.

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  12. King… well I didn’t vote for him..

    You can’t expect to wield supreme power just because some watery tart lobbed a scimitar at you!

    Not to worry andy will have jug ears moved into a northern semi by next Friday.
    Swap those corgis for whippets..
    Homing pigeons instead of grouse shooting.

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    • You can imagine him going out on his own for the first time and being confused by a zebra crossing or asking at Aldi if they have a personal shopper and valet service.

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  14. Andrew Marr said that being born British meant you had won the lottery of life.

    It doesn’t look that way to us poor cunts down here Andy.

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    • Think about though Arfur, for the can’t-work, won’t-work mob, it is a fucking lottery win for life. It’s only those of getting screwed for tax who’re getting fucked over.
      Fuck Marr anyway, establishment mouthpiece.

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  16. Morbidly obese dave has been sacked as justice secretary, eat yourself to death now,you fat,bovine chimp.

    Reply ↓

    • Hes still an MP so will do OK at the HoC restaurant.

      I was worried for a moment the poor chap might develop beri-beri or some such.

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  17. Orf’ wiv his head …. courtesy of his new subjects 🪓 🕌 …give his 👂s to London zoo for transplant purposes 🐘…I am your 👑 don’t think you are mate 👊😩

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    • Straight into the House of Lords bar ?

      But really they should be publicly flogged then forced to drink a pint of Thames River effluent.

      A very good day to those cunts.

      Good health sir!

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  20. Royals?….pfft.

    I’m more entitled to rule England.

    My Family can be traced back hundreds of years,
    the place we came from still bears the family name and it’s never been diluted by foreigners.

    OK, a few nutters, but not any pubeheads, chinkys or any of that.

    my family are from just near Lindow Common where the famous bog body Lindow Pete was found.
    probably a distant uncle to me.

    I’m a Englishman to the bone.
    Not some goofy no chin fuckin kraut.

    what was Charles ancestors?
    a fuckin hotdog vendor in Berlin.

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  21. Rachel reeves
    avid Lammy
    arren Jones
    Steve Reed

    done any work since you last signed on?
    you have a appointment with your job coach at 1pm.
    your benefits can be stopped if you don’t attend.

    Reply ↓

    • Bet Steve Reeves cried.
      he’s not too tightly wrapped at the best of times.

      And Darren Jones,
      all that brown nosing,
      reeling out the party line…
      got you nowhere did it Cocker?
      hehehe😁

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      • The cunts are still on 100k + expenses and a fucking subsidised bar …!

        Not bad when you are deemed to be.

        FUCKING USELESS CUNTS..!!

      • I’d love to be firing these cunts.
        i envy Herr Lip for that,
        love to do it🤎

        For Lammy it’d be opening a packet of jaffa cakes to find a note

        ‘Your fired.’
        Steve Reed I’d invite on stage.
        fire him in front of a crowd.
        live on TV.
        he can’t control his emotions and the humiliation would make me laughter.

        Darren Jones,
        I’d make him do a dare to keep his job.
        put a brick through King’s window or something.
        then sack him.

      • Wes Streeting to be forced to look at Jess Phillips’ wide-open clopper to the point that he could see her clammy, grey cervix.
        That’ll test his nerves.

  24. Refreshing to have a northerner in Downing Street.
    i expect he’ll be putting up a pigeon loft over the weekend?

    stumbling back bladdered putting his keys in the wrong door, like a modern Andy Capp.

    stood outside number 10 smoking in his vest,
    and getting barred from the local chippy for asking for fish bits, gravy and mushy peas scaring the other clientele.

    Hope he does a PMs announcement from home and he’s got 3 flying ducks on the living room wall.

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    • Larry will have to go. I can’t see him getting on with Andy’s whippets.
      Or the ferrets.
      Like a true Northerner Andy washes in the tin bath in front of the coal fire, then pops out to the brick outhouse at the end of the yard. Smokes a Woodbine in the same time it takes to fill the kharzi.
      Entertainment consists of 10 pints while watching the strippers in the Working Mens Club, then back home to beat up the wife.

      A great northern lad is Andy.

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    • used to live near me growing up.
      he’d drink in the local pub outside Robinson breweries bottling plant,
      the Horsefield Arms.

      My dad, everything we drove past his house would say

      MNCsr ” know who lives there?”
      MNCjr ” yeah.”
      MNCsr “Jack Duckworth.. he lives there!”
      MNC Jr ” yeah. he does.”

      every time.

      Before that it was
      MNCsr “know who lives there?
      MNCjr ” Jack Duckworth?
      MNCsr ” George Best. footballer”.
      MNCjr “oh.”

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  26. I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall when Eyeliner Andy gave Legohead her P45.

    Do you think she cried? I do hope so, maybe begged a bit, wet herself while she was waiting on the naughty chair outside his office.

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  27. O/T.
    I fucking knew it!
    The fatso’s not only chose King Andy’s coronation day to announce they’d charged the Anne Widdecombe suspect, they waited until Downing Street was making the cabinet reshuffle announcements.
    Great timing. What a coincidence.
    And they still reckon they haven’t got a motive, but they’re still working on it.
    Oh do fuck off!

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    • That suspect looks like a right fucking loser, eh FMC?
      I’ll bet Harvey Price has sucked more tuppences* than this freak.

      * Two: Daniella’s Westbrook’s and his mother’s.

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      • An online ghost apparently.

        That’s after plods cyber division deleted any incriminating online activity and spicy anti-Reform UK social media posts.

      • He sure does, Thomas.
        I’m not sure what a far left extremist would look like, but he’s odd, seemingly unwashed and clearly a virgin (at least in the heterosexual sense) so I guess he fits the bill.

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