Another blow for the Indian Tourist Board.
As is quite necessary when dealing with such subcontinental affairs the reader may wish to only read the following after taking medical advice and then praying with eyes closed..
“The first time Lowri Denman knew something was wrong was when she made the horrifying discovery of a metre-long tapeworm after going to the toilet.
“It looked absolutely disgusting, like Sellotape with like little ridges in it,” said the 42-year-old from Carmarthen.
It was the first symptom of neurocysticercosis, external, which left Lowri with 38 parasites in her brain causing extreme headaches, seizures and psychosis”
The madness of Ed Miliband now laid bare..
“After years of health struggles, the parasites have now calcified in Lowri’s brain.
“I’ve not had any surgery to actually take them out of my brain,” she said. “Apparently they just sort of die down and they calcify basically. So at this point they are now calcified.”
Dr Healy said Lowri had received treatment to “kill all the eggs and happily now seems to be out the other end”..
Indeed.
Never mind the appalling filth,flies,stupidity,corruption,mooning diseased faces of hordes of subhuman you can escape Heathrow and take a lovely trip to India instead.
“humans are infected by consuming food such as raw or undercooked pork, water contaminated with tapeworm eggs, or through poor hygiene practices.”..said Judith Chalmers yesterday.
Fuck off.
Nominated by : Unkle Terry
38 brain parasites..
New number 10 up north has 403 parasites, no brains though.
20
is the headet pic a picture of the tapeworm or Lowri?
7
I thought it was Rear Admiral Streeeting’s ring after a Cabinet meeting…
15
I wondered if it was a new breed of mongrel, & whether it was already K.C. Registered?
5
There are certainly some stunning pictures around since the advent of the scanning electron microscope. Take a look at these little bastards;
https://www.google.com/search?q=sem+scabies+in+burrow&client=firefox-b-m&hs=gfeV&sca_esv=a2a4950f58f762f6&udm=2&biw=680&bih=968&ei=9F1kauG-G6GphbIP5aLZwQo&oq=sem+scabies+in+burrow&gs_lp=EhJtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1pbWciFXNlbSBzY2FiaWVzIGluIGJ1cnJvdzIIEAAYgAQYogQyCBAAGIAEGKIEMggQABiABBiiBDIIEAAYgAQYogRImHFQhxVYgj5wAHgAkAEAmAHLAqAB5weqAQYxMC4zLTG4AQPIAQD4AQGYAgugAsEIwgIGEAAYCBgewgIIEAAYogQYiQXCAgQQIRgVmAMAiAYBkgcGMTAuMy0xoAfJFLIHBjEwLjMtMbgHwQjCBwcyLTcuMy4xyAdYgAgA&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-img#ip=1&sv=CAMSVxoyKhBlLUhiSDBfaXpKRTlMWFZNMg5IYkgwX2l6SkU5TFhWTToOaGtRemttX2RBOEhZeU0gBCoXCgFzEhBlLUhiSDBfaXpKRTlMWFZNGAEwAUoECAEQAhgHIOSE3MgOSggQAhgBIAIoAQ
6
Like most people (except MNC of course), I used to enjoy a curry in a curry house…but not now; the thought of those dirty brown cunts touching my food, their brown fingers even browner after pulling mulligatawny soup shit out of their arses and not even considering washing their hands…🤮
I naïvely used to think that ding-dings were better than pakıs, but not now. They’re filthy, smelly, raping, scamming scum.
Good morning to one and all.
25
A bit harsh, Thomas. I often visit India for a delicious bowl of worms and a glass or two of methanol. It`s the sub-human culture I like best of all.
🪱
7
All right Tommy ? 👍
I wonder how much Indian sub continent faecal matter you ingested before your enlightenment ?
It’s probably best not to ponder on really.
Still shagging grannies ?
That Wayne Rooney is a bad influence on you.
I’d tell him to fuck off and stop going out for a pint with him.
The dirty beggar.
Good morning 🌞👍
8
Morning Jack, hope you’re well?
I’m now wondering just what I’ve eaten from chınkıes too.
Cats n’ rats n’ bats presumably?
8
Brimming with good health !
Where the rinky dinks are concerned you’ve probably ate most varieties of the rodent population.
And Pangolins.
Basically, anything that walks, crawls, flies, swims or slithers.
I’m not surprised you only weigh six stone.
Get some steak and kidney pudding, chips, peas and gravy down your neck. ,👍
You know it makes sense 👍👍👍
9
Even Indians know how fucking disgusting and unhygienic Indians are.
That’s why you will never see one eating in an Indian restaurant.
Those travel programmes where they show you around and try to tell you how wonderful and exotic India is…….
They will have a presenter, cameraman, sound man, producer and cook.
It’s impossible to go to India and not get the shits.
If you are looking at losing a few stone in weight and you are prepared to spend 3 weeks on the bog, India is the place for you.
14
The whole fucking place looks like it’s been dipped in Rayners unwashed clopper.
Dear me.
Good morning.
13
Tapeworms should be available on the NHS as weight loss treatment for fat bastards. Cheaper and with fewer side effects than ozempic.
It would be worth a few headaches to lose 10 stones of blubber, wouldn’t it?
13
The stupid cunts that go to Indian restaurants and then joke about having to put a bog roll in the fridge overnight…….
The arse burn and squitters that you get is not because of the spices in the curry.
Cook your own curry at home and use as much spices as you want.
You won’t get the shits.
Your bad guts the day after an Indian restaurant curry is all down to the chefs being unhygienic and the food being rotten.
15
The old remedy for tapeworms is a hammer and a chocolate digestive biscuit..
id use mcVities but suppose you could use other brands,
but its best to use medically approved biscuits.
Take off your undercrackers, lay down on the bed,
place the biscuit near your balloon knot and wait.
The worms bored of eating bland welsh brains will smell the delicious biscuit and make the journey down to your botty.
once timmy the tapeworm pops his head out of your anus….
🔨💥💥
smack his fuckin head in with the hammer.
Hammers arent just for elderly rightwing politicians or yorkshire prostitutes they have many uses.
20
I thought it was a Mars Bar & a hammer Mis.
10
your right of course Scunny,
mars bars work too.
it was Mick Jagger who famously dicovered this luring tapeworms out of Marianne Faithfuls shit canal in the 60s.
The Beatles caught worms in india ,
and the guru Mahesh Yogi cured them by getting a snake charmer to play a flute luring the worms out.
This inspired Paul mcCartney to write “Something..”
as in something is wriggling up my arse.
9
A story the matelots used to used to tell, probably apocryphal.
Sailor turns up to the med centre, traumatised. Cannot stop vomiting.
Sympathetic nurse draws the story out of him.
After a night on the rum, he picks up an old cooze and does his gentlemanly duty of eating her box out.
But he can’t help noticing that l, whilst down there, something keeps tickling his chin. Every time he resumes his labour, it happens again and again.
Eventually, he stops to figure out what is happening and lo and behold, a huge tapeworm keeps popping out of grannie’s arsehole before slurping back up like a string of spaghetti.
The end.
7
That had to be the Snake Charmer Pashama Bedi from the Herb Garden.
9
Lammy needs putting on the ‘Tapeworm Diet.’ One large parasite feeding off another.
11
He would certainly roll with it!
5
If he got a tapeworm it would immediately double his IQ.
15
No self-respecting tapeworm would infect a sootie…it’d be like the tapeworm boasting to its mates that it got a good deal on a council house that has unremovable Romanian squatters.
11
It would exit resembling black heavy duty packing tape.
6
I have to be picky about what I eat nowadays, but most of it is common sense.
Never order fish on a Sunday.
The restaurant won’t have had a delivery since Friday so by Sunday the fish isn’t worth eating.
If you order meat, especially pork and the texture is soft, it is not ‘melt in the mouth’.
Send it back.
The meat has been stored in brine to preserve it longer, which breaks down the tissue.
Never order a pie or stew anywhere.
The chef is just getting rid of the old meat before it needs to be chucked out.
The same goes for “curry night” specials.
If a restaurant isn’t busy there is always a good reason.
Avoid.
Mrs Cunter once had Indian clients.
Hindu Indians aren’t that bad, but most of the Indian restaurants are owned and staffed by Muslim Bangladeshis.
Her clients insisted on talking to the chefs in the Indian restaurant that she took them to.
They wanted to be sure that the staff were Punjabi.
Good advice, but totally useless for us as one Indian language sounds like any other.
So the best thing to do is not to go to any Indian restaurant.
12
Bud bud ding ding food?Easy pass for me.Introduce the tapeworm diet to Westminster.
8
if you suffer from constipation a scratching his arse, phlegm gobbing,nose picking never been trained “chef” in your local curry house will soon cure you 😩… #tapeworm tandoori
8
Friends of mine went to India to take in the cultural marvels, temples etc. Had a wonderful time, didn’t get out much as the second day of their odyssey both struck down with chronic farting then explosive diarrhea, Told me they could not be more than 10 feet from a shithouse. Both shit themselves on numerous occasions. The diarrhea eased eventually though by now they resembled Cholerae victims. On medical advice they came back to UK spending oodles of Dosh on tickets
One collapsed at airport and was hospitalised severe dehydration, the other shit himself whilst waiting for luggage.
As far as I’m concerned why pay all that money when a meal in the average bangladashi restaurant will have same effect a
11
According to every travel documentary about India ever made, it’s a country of contrasts.
Contrasting degrees of filth and appalling hygiene I would imagine.
As Phil Tufnell once said ‘Done the elephants. Done the poverty. I wanna go home’.
Quite.
9
Chinese restaurants are everywhere.
We have hundreds dotted around and the vast majority of them are shit.
We discovered one. The interior is nothing fancy but the food is excellent.
It’s family run, the dad does the cooking, probably with relatives helping as they do get busy.
The mom, son and daughters do the waitering.
We go there at least a few times a month.
One time they didn’t have any bean shoots which I always have instead of rice or noodles.
The son brought out a portion of vegetables which aren’t on the menu and I had never seen before.
He didn’t know the name of them in Spanish but told us that his dad grows them on his allotment for the family to eat.
A Google picture search showed them to be Chinese Water Spinach and they were delicious.
We asked the son what other types of food the family would eat and it turned up that they would never eat anything on their own menu.
Not that there is anything wrong with the food, it’s just not what Chinese people eat.
So we said that next time we come we would like whatever they eat and we would avoid the menu all together.
They have been treating us to absolutely delicious and fresh food ever since and they seem to enjoy showing off what the dad can grow and prepare.
6
was the bat crispy?
7
Not as much as the dog Mis.
6
That’s why in India you see them squatting wherever possible, to allow the tapeworms to come and go as they please.
5
I dont eat anything touched by foreigners knowingly.
Not indian
Certainly not chinky ( filthy cunts)
even italian ( rubbish)
i admit to liking almond crossaints but do it shamefully .
This has made me healthy and why i dont have worms in my brain.
Nearest i got was from eating raw chicken.
fuck me, dont try it at home!
couldnt stop shitting,
my tummy made some very funny noises and i had to take antibionics.
didnt decide to eat it raw,
it was a accident.
Never again.
my arse felt like id spent the weekend at Michael Barrymores.
11
Almond crossaints?
Ooh, hello ducky!
🌈
8
Same as me.I would never eat food prepared by Sooties.🤢🤢🤢🤢
2
She still looks back on her trip to India with fondness 😂
I wonder what she would have had to go through to think it was a bad fucking idea.
8
“The obligatory gang rapê and being found in a water logged ditch covered in flies?”..
Copy and pasted from the Tourist Board of New Delhi.
12
😂
Paid extra for the real India experience
6
I went to India years ago, the beach cafe did a really good double egg and chips..
But the rats running around in the banana leaf rooftop was a bit off-putting..!
I told the wife and kids, anything that resembles wholegrain rice probably “isn’t”..!
10
Egg and chips would be a good choice in India Doc.
It’s difficult to fuck around with an egg as it comes in its own hygienic packet and I suppose that deep frying chips would kill off any parasites.
But what the fuck is ‘a really good double egg and chips’?
How can anyone, anywhere make a bad egg and chips?
4
There’s a café in Oldham that makes a valiant attempt.
7
My thoughts, Artful. They should force eggs on them to make them constipated. That should teach them not to shit in the streets.
3
A good fried egg with no crispy burnt edges and no soggy chips..!
2
My father-in-law and his sister were both born in India under the Raj. Their father was in the army out there. The father-in-law was six feet something and built like a brick shithouse. Kidney cancer got him in 1965 so I never met him. Perhaps as well, I’m not sure he would have rated a weed like me for a son-in-law.
3
Even if the food were exquisite, I still wouldn’t eat at foreign places because it encourages them to be here.
8
Do what the Irish are clever at, Cuntrarian. Pay for the meal and run away without eating it.
5
The Irish sound a lot cleverer than the idiots that actually eat Indian faecal matter.
6
When India filth come here for a holiday, they send their tapeworms to a sanctuary where they’re looked after, whilst they enjoy our fish and chips.
7
If you go to India, you must avoid all meat and fish. The animal probably died of starvation and its corpse has been sitting in a fridge for a couple of months. Bake it, grill it, boil it, or forget it. Furthermore, only drink bottled water with unopened caps. Also, don’t eat any street food, even if it’s cheap and smells good. The pakora I bought for three rupees came out of every hole the following day.
Oh, and if you fuck any natives, pad up.
9
It might, Captain if you dress sparingly to these hot places and pack all our tinned food, Baked Beans, Soups and Fray Bentos by the suitcase load, you’ll spread a new smell of farts and will be followed wherever you go and not for money.
5
True Captain.
All the cattle in Asia and Africa have foot and mouth disease.
It’s endemic and they do nothing about it.
If you order beef you will get water buffalo.
They don’t eat cows in most parts of India.
3
Artful,
I wouldn’t put it past the Deepaks and Sanjays to serve up a rodent.
“Hey, Punjabba The Hut! Why has my steak got a rat’s tail?”
2
Wasn’t that thing at the introduction the culprit that came out of John Hurt’s chest and caused no end of damage to the film industry. When the yanks get an idea, they just won’t let it go.
4
There is a certain irony in that if we all ate more of an Indian style diet, except made hygienically and without shit and all manner of other particles, we’d all live healthier for longer, thus negating their argument that we need to import millions of Africans and Asians to look after our ‘ageing population’ (soon to become Asian Population). I can attest myself that a couple of chillies, garlic cloves and a handful of common herbs added to meals throughout the day definitely contributes to at least 3 good quality daily shits.
2
Do you find, Woken that an India meal tends be much hotter on the way out than when it went in.
5
Do you mean ‘Ring Of Fire’? 😁 Not really, as I mainly prepare and consume typical ‘Indian’ ingredients at home myself. If you are going to be a chilli chomper though you need to be consistent, I do find that even a short break results in initial ROF when I go back on them again.
2
Good point, never could figure out why our arse has to-be fitted with capsicum receptors. Fucking hate ring sting.
4