is a cunt.
A nomination to cheer people up.
Ernie dosio a American big game hunter got trampled to death in Gabon by elephants.
Oh dear how sad..
Ernie who owned a Californian vineyard ” i shall raise a glass to the elephants” was stalking a duiker, when he stumbled on to five elephants and a calf.
The elephants decided to wipe their feet on him..
The only shame was it was over to quick.
Well they do say elephants never forget.. and maybe Ernie shouldn’t have taken the trunk road.
Anyway the elephants have been booked in for pedicures, to get the crap off their feet..
Nominated by Barry zuckercunt.
I love a story with a happy ending.
35
Now he knows what its like to be one of his grapes, trampled underfoot.
The daft yank cunt.
26
Ernie Dosser is that lowest of men.
…a trophy hunter.
Doesnt eat what he shoots.
just kills a animal for a photo oppotunity to impress his gormless mates back in Nutter Central ,California.
well his loved ones can save money on a coffin and bury him in a pizza box now.
27
Brilliant. Pizza box 😁
15
Luckily there was a wildlife photographer in the same area at the time who snapped the elephant that led the charge:
https://members.parliament.uk/member/4038/portrait
17
I watched a clip of her walking along Downing Street, she had the fat arse woman walk, arms swinging away to help with the momentum, you wouldn’t want to be in her way, I am sure she would need the same turning circle as an oil tanker.
15
As a young lad I travelled on buses. There seemed always to be on board a few middle aged women who were grossly obese. On the old open rear platform buses at the rear of the lower deck were three-seater bench seats running lengthways to the bus. These women aimed for those seats because two of them just filled the three seats comfortably. If those seats were taken and they had to use the other seats they would often choose to sit beside me because I was such a skinny little tyke. I felt quite intimidated squashed up beside the window.
11
Fat lump
4
I loathe big game hunters, but just imagine if this hunter was Wes Streeting and the elephants were Emily Thornberry, Diane Abbott , Louise Casey and Dawn Butler. What duckie carnage,
20
Hopefully this excellent event will be followed by some arsehole trying to kill a big cat and getting slaughtered and eaten.
Here’s a wonderful clip of a colossal elephant walking past a car:
https://youtu.be/93BdXvPfPRw?si=ikxMrjzF5S7MxtzU
16
The only pity of it is that apparently his death would have been quick.
What a shame. It would have been splendid if the elephants had spent considerable time flinging him about like an old shoe.
Still, you can’t have everything.
21
Reminds me of the story of the big game hunter who’s stalking an elephant in the bushes.
He sneaks up on the elephant and is taking aim when the elephant disappears. Suddenly he feels a tap on his shoulder. It’s the elephant.
“You’re a silly boy aren’t you,” says the elephant. “Now you’ve got two choices. Either I trample you to death or I give you one. Which is it to be?”
The hunter, mortified, says, “well I haven’t got any choice have I.”
This elephant gives him a right seeing to.
When it’s all over the elephant strolls off leaving the hunter in a right state. He’s fucking furious and immediately grabs his gun and chases the elephant. He takes aim again, but the elephant disappears again. He feels a tap on his shoulder.
“Oh dear oh dear oh dear,” says the elephant. “Now it’s like this; either I rip you to pieces, or you let me and my mates all give you a servicing. What’s it to be?”
Realising he’s got no choice the hunter has to submit himself to this pack of randy beasts. When it’s all over he’s in a right state, bleeding from every orifice, can hardly walk.
Enraged he grabs his gun and chases after the elephants, takes aim, but they all scarper.
Tap on the shoulder.
“I don’t think you’re here for the sport, are you?”
19
Dosser by name
Dosser by nature
look at the state of the cunt.
millionaire ,looks like a big issue seller.
oh, an camoflage works better when youre not wearing a flourescent orange cap.
thats mixed messaging that is pal.
That was me?,
nice crisp safari suit, pith helmet,
maybe a subtle cravat.
And id be smart enough to have my native guide and luggage bearers to walk in FRONT of me.
first rule of big game hunting that!
while Mtembe and his fellow cocopops are screaming and getting gored by a enraged pachyderm you have time to either
run like fuck
shin up a tree
quick wank.
21
Or all three at the same time – you gotta have good hand to eye coordination if you’re gonna be a proper hunter. Throw in saying “red lorry yellow lorry” as you hit the vinegar strokes and you could be an Olympian.
17
Or the young woman who hobbled into the doctor’s surgery.
“What’s the matter with you young lady?” asked the doctor.
“Well it’s a bit embarrassing doctor,” said the girl, “but you see I was on safari, and I got taken short. So I popped into the bushes but I was surprised by an elephant who was a bit excited and he, erm, well, he gave me one.”
The doctor said, “well that’s very distressing to hear. Let’s have a look.”
She takes off her undercrackers and the doctor recoils in horror.
“My god,” he says, “that’s a hugely damaged vagina. I can’t believe it. I happen to be a bit of a wildlife enthusiast, and I have to say that I can’t see how this could have happened. The elephant actually has a very short narrow penis. I can’t see how this much damage could have been done, it just doesn’t make sense.”
“Well, the thing is,” said the girl, “…he fingered me first.”
20
It’s a fine story,but I wish he was Chinese.
Those conniving yellow cunts prop up the trade in ivory and more besides.
Sore finger?
Oven.
Good morning.
21
Ooops, seems he forgot that the area is full of elephants.
They were probably having a nice day in the forest, minding their own business when some cunt with a gun sticks his nose in.
Did the guide get knocked aside or did he leg it ‘you can outrun an elephant’ , ‘I don’t need to just outrun you’
16
An appropriate ending for the ‘respected hunter’ cunt. I hope they transport his flattened carcass back to the US, cut off his crushed & mangled bonce then display it on the wall with his other ‘trophies’, the fucking twat.
As JP says, it’s a pity they didn’t pick him up in their trunks & take turns smacking his head off the ground first.
16
Laughed my bollocks off.
21
Well Ernie certainly found out why St Jeremy of Gaza always insisted on missionary only with Diane.
I feel for Ernie’s children though. It can’t have been easy finding a flying saucer to fly his body home. Okay, so the undertaker helped out by rolling him up like a carpet, but the 60 foot coffin and burial plot cost a fortune.
And don’t believe that bollocks about him being a millionaire wine maker. His kids had to auction off his trophies because Ernie was flat broke when he died.
A certain Ms A Rayner with several UK addresses offered £40,000 for the pride of his collection, an elephant’s tumescent wanger. She later withdrew the offer for some reason.
19
I think it would be a nice gesture if his family mounted his head on the wall along with the other “trophies”.
🏆
22
It was music to my ears this morning and to a hamshank to boot. Pity it was over so soon, especially after all the years he’d spent slaughtering animals. Legal my arse. Is it from the animals say so, of course not. Scatter the cunts remains for them to eat. They’d probably take one sniff and immediately realise who it is and go and find something much more substantial.
9
sometimes to relax ill watch youtube footage of wildlife beating people up.
Missus Miserable often comes downstairs wondering why im roaring with laughter.
ive seen bears, moose, lion,
hippo and indeed elephant smack
the snot out of mainly americans.
its always funny and rarely gets tiresome.
if banned from ISAC this would be my go to amusement full time.
😄
21
I also enjoy it when the wildlife share their bodily functions with the tourists.
Camel spit in the face, bonobo piss up the back, that kind of thing.
It’s particularly amusing when an ape nicks someone’s bag and shits in it. A modern day commentary on the world today.
24
Karma is also one of my enjoyable pleasures, when animals and humans alike turn on the cruelty they’ve had to endure and get their comeuppance. Another is thieving bastards who get a good pummelling and somehow manage to survive death which is sometimes unfortunate, but I say to myself that its more entertaining when they sustaining such a hammering.
7
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hxMMrPoBq0M&pp=ygUSY2hpbXAgd2l0aCBhbiBhazQ3
Your wish is my command Mjs
4
Well done finding that one Cunty. The way the monkey starts shooting and they jump up and run like fuck! Hilarious!
4
Anyone remember when admin put on that audio footage of that bloke getting mauled to death off his pet grizzly bear?
chilling.😳
But in the atrack he shouts to his wife whos stood watching with her hands in her pcckets
“”Get a frying pan!!”
how random is that?
know he was a bit distracted like,
but still.
Are grizzly bears scared of cooking implements?
or as i suspect, had he been twatting it over the head with a frying pan in a Hanna Barbera type way?
23
” Get a frying pan “, as opposed to a loaded twelve gage?
How bizarre!
14
i thought so JP.
odd time to have a fry up when a bear is ripping your head off.
But you know what yanks are like.
17
Perhaps he was hoping to distract the animal with a helping of chitterlings and collard greens?
14
Wonderful, a proper cheer story for a,Monday morning. Indeed, I haven’t felt this consummated since the last boatload of invading rapists sank in the English Channel.
Hurrah!
30
I’d like to digress if I may, with it also being that time of year when someone also dies of shame fortunately. Relegation to a lower league. But some poor cunt is sobbing and asks why me. Well some fucker must go, due to it being the name of the game. The unfortunate wouldn’t care if it was someone else. Stupid twats.
6
I posted a animal attack on here awhile ago.
some woman won a radio competition to meet a bear.
the bear was sat on a stool with its owner stood next to it wearing for some reason judo pyjamas?!
she nervously enters and sits on a stool next to the bear.
The bear does a double take,
and proceeds to fuckin batter her.
it had her on the floor savaging her
and the idiotic owner steps in ,
full Chuck Norris
“Haiiii”
karate chops it.
bear doesnt notice an continues to ram the womans face into the floor.
“”Haaaiiii!!”
karate chop again.
karate doesnt work on bears by the way
FACT.
anyway, the woman won a lovely day out and always wears a hat after having a bear rip her scalp off.
23
I saw a docu about some stupid bint in yankland who ‘adopted’ a violent chimp, up for adoption due to said violence.
It ripped off both her hands and most of her face when she rejected it’s sexual advances.
Shouldn’t laugh.
7
Good observation T. Chimps are mostly ok till they reach puberty. Once grown up they are one of the nastiest fuckers you don’t want to meet. All those cute chimps in nappys and clothes they are youngsters. Even wacko jacko had to get rid of Bubbles when Bubbles reached late adolescent.
Adult male chimp, fucking big teeth, approx 7 times stronger than a man a hairy smelly bastard keep out of their way unless heavily armed.
9
What pleasure is there when posing with large dead animals and a large gun. When only you’ve got a weapon and they haven’t.
13
agree Sammy.
i like large animals,
prefer them alive
and in their natural enviroment.
My father inlaw had no teeth.
kicked out by a horse.
still loved horses though.
Missus Miserable has a crooked finger.
reattached after having it bitten off by a horse.
still likes horses.
ive got a scar on my nose after my akita pup bit it playing.
no hard feelings.
love that dog.
theyre animals.
no point getting upset your sat in AE having your ears sewn back on.
youve done something wrong.
misjudged a animal.
dont stand behind a nervous animal capable of kicking your head off
dont feed horses with your fingers in the way
dont put your face near a overexcited
puppy.
8
ive never been attacked by elephants.
because i take sensible precautions.
i dont hunt where elephants are.
i dont shout loudly in a yank accent.
i always wear a condom
and always look both ways when crossing a trunk road.
Them naturalists say a bull elephant is most dangerous in breeding season.they leak a musk from the temples and go hyper aggressive.
like Liam Gallagher after 2 pints.
A cow elephant is most dangerous when shes got a calf.
elephants are good parents and protect the young.
id say,
thats bollocks and elephants are always dangerous.
theyre fuckin massive,
run fast
strong as fuck
and aggressive as a gyppo at Appleby.
stay well away from the fuckers.
24
I’ve got a scar on the back of my hand from a chicken peck.
I necked it.
8
I’ve been tossed by a cow.
8
Elephants probably a lot more intelligent than your average pikey. They don’t leave heaps of scrap metal lying around for starters.
5
Went round my mate’s house the other night to watch the footy.
There was an elephant in the room.
But I didn’t mention it.
20
One good thing about the season’s end, Geordie…
We won’t see that concorde conked bumfuff tache fruity voiced anti-English Antisemitic gobshite piss poor Fred Kite cunt Gary Neville for a while.
Or his mate, that gozzing at girls asthmatic parrot Scouse bastard Carragher.
Or that laugh at anything Roy Keane’s pet poodle thick as mince cunt Micah Richards.
13
There was this smug self satisfied cunt, one of those double barrel named upper to middle class tossers. Who had lots of (inherited) cash, but did next to fuck all.
Anyway, he took it upon himself to ‘become’ a photographer of exotic animals in the wild. And, he said his ambition was to get a close up picture of a Tiger in its natural habitat in India,
Anyroad, he got his wish. But not in the way he hoped or thought. Mind you, he was pretty stupid.
He was found on the side of a dust track in India. Not a mark on him, except a huge fuck off paw print on his jacket. He did come across a wild Tiger, and the disgruntled creature slapped him on the chest with just one of its huge paws. No claws or scratches, just a push. Like a Big Daddy Splash from the old ITV wrestling. The big cat’s slap was so powerful and hard, the silly sod’s ticker gave out as he also probably shat himself on the spot too.
The camera film was developed, and there were two shots of the Tiger. The first was the animal with a ‘Who the fuck’s this cunt?’ look on its face. The second was the Tiger with its paw in the air, ready to give Lord Snooty a clout.
True story.
23
Thought I’d just say…
If Gina Carano needs errr consoling after her fight, then I’ll be only too willing to oblige.
19
Didn’t Eric Blair once shoot an elephant in Burma? Simply because it was in the road and the local savages egged him on? Apparently the creature wasn’t causing any bother, He just shot it and it took a long time to die.
Also, didn’t he nick Nineteen Eighty Four from the earlier Russian novel, We, by We Yevgeny Zamyati?
A birrova cunt, then….
16
Poor old Ernie, he should have stuck to picking the Premium Bonds.
8
But on that fateful day, Ernie was the slowest gunslinger in the west.
3
Dear old Benny Hill… His show would be seen as the antichrist to today’s psychotic woke loonies.
My favourite bits were slapping little Jackie Wright on his bald head. And, of course, Hills Angels.
7
It’s quite ironic that Ernie looked like the Elephant Man once the Elephant’s had finished trampling on the cunt.
9
Didn’t Creepo Jacko have an errrr thing for the Elephant Man?
Made a change from him blowing Bubbles, I suppose.
6
Nellie the elephant 🐘 extracted her revenge 🤣🤣🤣
7
when i was a little lad all the other lads wanted to be bionic.
They were fans of the 6million dollar man.
but not me.
to me he was a yank spastic with robot disability aids.
No, i was and remain a big fan of Tarzan starring Ron Eli.
in the late 60s early 70s a tv star wasnt mollycoddled.
no CGI.
Ron had to perform his own stunts.
Hed playfight Lions ,leopard even a tiger.
playfight for the cats anyway.
Ron suffered a dislocated jaw, broken ribs,
numerous big cat bites an scratches,
dislocated shoulders,
he was a real regular down at A&E.
him an Evel kneivel kept them in regular overtime.
Ron sadly died in 2024, at 86yrs old.
i was genuinely gutted.
Nowadays they cry if the makeup lady doesnt use vegan lipstick.
get bitten by a fuckin lion and compare the pain you hollywood cunts!!
9
Johnny Weissmuller was the man.
UMGOWA!
6
When I was a lad, I wanted to shag Lindsey Wagner, the Bionic Woman.
Oh, and Angie Dickinson as Police Woman.
And, Lynda Carter, Wonder Woman.
11
I remember watching Tarzan the Ape Man when I was told I couldn’t….
Crap film, but it had Bo Derek in her prime with tits out.
7
There was that film Roar with Tippi Hedren, which from the trailer seems to be a non-stop cavalacade of lions and tigers savaging legions of hapless film extras. Not a big success at the box office, although might have cult appeal these days.
4
Shortly after this appeared in the press another photo was published of a female “big game” hunter posing with a giraffe she had slaughtered.
A fucking giraffe? Oh yes, the greatest threatening to humans since the tyrannosaurus rex, eh?
They should have roped her to the corpse and left her for the hyenas.
What a cunt.
9
Apart from selective culls to assist the herd all big game hunting should be banned and offenders severely punished.
7
Starmer should go big game hunting so elephants can rid us of him, they’d trample him just for being a tedious boring twat, Milibrain too, another insufferable prick. They could repatriate Lammy and Flabbot as well.
8
BANG!…I’ve bagged one David!!”
“No, that’s Lammy and you’ve only just released him.”
BANG! “I’ve got one Kier!”
“No David, that’s the Flabbot.”
…”Oouh, look at the friendly elephants…”
8
there was a good-looking lad working in a city-centre office, but he was very shy due to his lack of size in the nether regions. All the female office workers openly flirted with him, hoping for his best attentions. But it was all in vain, as he wrestled with his embarrassment of being a potential failure and a complete flop in the bedroom department.
There were even rumours going round suggesting that he wasn’t that way inclined, and he then started getting attention from some of the young men, who actually were.
Well, enough was enough. It was time to seek help, but his GP wasn’t that helpful. The guy was desperate though, and he was persistent in his phone calls to the surgery, and when he finally offered to pay for treatment, the GP agreed to a private appointment, and the guy hoped that his GP would be able to point him in the right direction, so to speak.
Anyway, he went in for the session, and the GP said he had come across some recent studies in the field that were being conducted over in India, and the success rates appeared to be rather amazing. The guy was instantly convinced and paid the private consultancy fee to his GP, and then went home to prepare for his trip to the sub-continent.
He was over in India for his six-week treatment, where he was measured and fitted with an insert from the trunk of a baby elephant. He was assured that no elephants had been harmed in the procedure, and it would soon grow back again.
Anyway, he remained in the country until the stitches had been removed, and he’d had to avoid any stimulation to avoid any catastrophe, but things would be fine by the time he got home.
So, once back in the office, all the girls were glad to see him again, and he somehow exuded a new-found confidence. He more or less asked the office stunner out on a date, the very afternoon he got back to work.
So they went out for a meal, and she wore the most figure-hugging low-cut dress, and deliberately ordered the soup dish, just so she could lean forward and showcase the prized assets in her display cabinet.
He was getting a bit of a twinge to say the least, and when she suggestively bit into the end of a bread roll, all hell let loose.
His new equipment broke free from its enclosure, and rose up above the table and smashed down into the bread-basket, before he quickly managed to push the thing back down beneath the table, trying to not attract unwanted attention.
However, it had caused quite a stir, and people just gawped open mouthed at the spectacle. The young lady shuddered slightly and all she could say in a slow and sexy way was “Do that again.”
The guy looked slightly crest-fallen and replied, “I could, no problem, but my arse couldn’t take another bread roll shoving up it.”
7