is a cunt.
Just when you thought he was on his last legs, Elton John makes a miraculous comeback.
Having been out of the limelight for all of 6 months, it appears that Fat Reg needs the attention of his adoring public once again. Not to mention their hard earned cash.
Reg and his ‘husband’ David, have produced an alcohol free fizz to help them with their teetotal lifestyle of dinner parties and whatnot.
Apparently, they liked it so much that they thought it would be a nice idea to flog it in Sainsbury’s at 10 quid a pop.
Certainly a great idea if your the ones raking in the profits.
Most 75 year olds with something north of one hundred million in the bank wouldn’t bother, but people like him can’t help themselves. They can never earn enough.
And to cap it all off. Far from Glastonbury being his ‘final’ performance, he’s playing the rock in Rio festival this summer.
Doubtless for another fat cheque.
That’s if he lives that long.
Which he fucking well will, without a doubt.
I fear we’ll never be rid of him.
Nominated by Field Marshal Cuntgomery.
He can’t sing anymore,he sounds like someone’s granny after a night on the sherry.
Not that that would bother him,nor it seems the likes of Paul McCartney and Rod Stewart.
Always puzzles me why they don’t just stop and live a life of indolent luxury.
Perhaps it’s because most of them are egotistical cunts.
Good morning.
17
I agree Terry.
The fat old poof hasn’t been able to sing for a couple of decades.
His singing voice back in the 70s was probably unrivalled but he should have quit while he was ahead in that regard.
4
You’re right Unk; Dame Elton’s voice is shot to shit. Last time I saw some film of him, he was getting out of a limo, and looked as though he could barely stand. Why these ancients like him and Macca keep trying to perform beats me; they’re way past their sell-buy date.
I was never a great fan of his music but it was alright; he had some decent tunes. It was Dame Elton the pontificating drama queen that I could never stand.
0
So someone into chem sex and baby oil paddling pool romps is tea total?
Fuck me tell it to the vicar, and if he likes it chances are it probably has a slight hint of knob to it, so regardless of price or figurehead I will give that one a miss.
Has Bono done anything lately?, sort of tempted to put Mr Beast out there for his waterholes for Africa flop, but as it was his own cash maybe I should leave him alone.
7
I can’t say that I liked or disliked him at all, he didn’t appear in my personal top 20.
However, he absolutely shat the bed for me when he put new lyrics to Candle in the Wind and churned out that mawkish dirge at that funeral.
I’d have admired him more if he’d done a ragtime version of Second-hand Rose.
14
I’d always wished that Jools Holland had got the Diana gig, JP.
Just imagine the look of horror on the mourners faces as he absolutely murdered Abide With Me, or some such, with his boogie woogie piano and Ruby Turner on vocals.
Excellent.
10
😁👍
5
In a normal healthy well educated society this fat piano player would be labelled a :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodomy
Not idolised by the sick of mind and in receipt of wealth…!
Makes me feel rather..🤮
7
Im shocked at this vicious slander of a National Treasure and bone fide rock god.
Sir Reg encapsulates everything about rock n roll.
Unfettered greed, anal sex,
Stomach turning wealth,
Shameless fawning to the establishment,
And pot bellies.
I for one love his insipid saccharine muzak,
And as a massive fan can name at least two of his songs.
Live fast
Die young
Born to be wild🤘
9
What’s in this alco free fizz… personalised jizz from the dynamic duo’s after coupling sessions 😩….
5
I owe fat Reg a debt of gratitude because when i was in my teens i bought a bird “ Yellow brick road “
and on the strength of that i got my leg over
11
How many times ?
4
Goodbye yellow brick road is about Regs time working laying tarmac in Brighton as a young labourer.
Ripping up york stone flags and selling them.
He laid the car park and driveway at his mansion himself whilst David baked fairy cakes.
Candle in the wind is about farting on a toddlers birthday cake.
7
I hate piano ballads.
Rubbish.
If you was picking a instrument to play it wouldnt be a fuckin piano.
Imagine carting that around to gigs?!!!
Youd think elton would be a natural flute player?
For me, itd be drums.
Let out all your energy banging away like John Bonham or Keith moon.
Or bagpipes,
ACDC did it,
As did wings.
Marvelous.
7
Those Scots Guards, who hit No.1 with Amazing Grace in the 70s.
That was the bollocks. Bloody ace.
1
Elton was taken ill at a Queen concert during the 80’s after traces of Mercury were found in him.
10
Ps
Elton claimed ‘ saturday nights alright for fighting’
Encouraging street violence in the UK.
Hes probably right though.
He wrote that about his time as a Teddyboy in a street gang with Cliff Richards, Tommy Steele,
And Lionel Blair.
7
That’s the Worcestershire Windmills walkout music isn’t it?
4
Its Anthony Joshuas motivational tune whilst in training. 😁
2
Better that Stephen Fry’s ‘Please Let Your Son Go Down On Me’.
5
Sorry seems to be the hardest turd.
Dont go breaking my arse.
5
‘I’m Still Standing’.
I’m not surprised, with all that amount of arse traffic over the years.
2
Never really understood the appeal of the vulgar, fat, narcissistic fuck.
A few nice toons and albums in the 1970s, and that’s about it.
A sort of camp, upmarket Leo Sayer. Or downmarket Nilsson. Not that I gave a fuck about those cunts, more a Blue Oyster Cult man myself.
Goodbye England’s Rose… what a fucking embarrassment!
6
Harry Nilsson was brilliant.
3
The joke being that the original Candle In The Wind wasn’t even wrote for Marilyn Monroe. Steaming poof Elton originally wrote it as a tribute to Hollywood doughnut puncher Montgomery Clift.
But, a lovelorn ditty to a tinsletown fairy would not have (cough) gone down or sold as well. So, rather cynically, it was rejigged to be about Monroe and the cash was hoovered up.
So, a song that was merely a money making scheme was re-fried again for Diana when she copped it. One can imagine the scenario…
Reg: ‘Ere, Bernie. My beloved precious friend, Diana Princess of Hearts Lady of the People and all that bollocks has passed away. I must do a heartfelt tribute to play at her circus of a funeral.’
Bernie: ‘Why not just dust off and re-do that crap we put out about that Marilyn Thingy? Worked well enough last time. And, the thick British griefmonkey scum will lap it up.’
6
Candle-up-my-arse Reg’s lionising of Pat’n’Mick Music reminds me of Private Eye’s ‘Great Bores of Today’. Back in Richard Ingrams’ time when PI was funny, a Michael Heath cartoon would be of some boring cunt spouting a load of waffle.
This is from a book of said bores published in 1976. The cartoon is of an ageing self-appointed music ‘expert’ droning on in a record shop. This is his spiel verbatim:
….of course Heavy Jelly has never really recovered from the loss of Rayne Fullbright I mean I respect his decision to explore new fields but a lot of the tightness has gone and though they remain one of the funkiest around their new album ‘Brabazon Has Wings’ although full of good intentions lacks the grit of the early Newcastle sound for which of course the late Bo Jabes deserves a lot of credit if you compare Dave Watson’s acoustic version of ‘Nimble Wanker’ which you can only get in the States you realise why this formerly much neglected artist has become a cult and for my money Jelly remains one of the top exponents of Wet Rock through the live albums from the Dusseldorf Farm when Noddy Grimble joined forces with T T White on rhythm bassoon….
6
Never liked this cunt.
Has always seemed like a right mardy uppity uphill gardener.
Didnt he do a sort of fly on the wall documentary about himself a few years ago called Tantrums and Tiara’s?
That tells you all you need to know about the cunt.
6
This piece of lard sprinkled in glitter also put out an autobiography.
Titled ‘ME’ and the said title was in huge fuck off rainbow coloured lettering.
Needless to say, it was about drugs, booze, drugs, dodging AIDS by the skin of his teeth, err drugs, tantrums, Diana, throwing wobblers in hotels, ummm drugs, botty bashing, and well drugs.
2
And, also numerous tales of failed suicide bid after suicide bid in his book..
Even when you want Fat Reg to succeed, he fucks it up.
3
The Fat Reginald Marmite (say no more) in Tescos was bad enough.
3
Elton John, real name Ken Dwight also known as Fat Reg.
Openly promoting bumming should be banned, disgusting behaviour, husband David, no he is the bum chum of Fat Reg.
I can’t say I have seen or heard anything from Fat reg since his giant platform shoes, and I doubt I have missed anything.
2
This is what Reg Dwight does with David Furnish:
They probably toss a coin to determine whose ‘turn’ it is. Let’s assume it’s Furnish’s.
Reg sits on the toilet and tries to force a turd out of his scarred and heavily misused anus. He will use an enema to wash his rectal cavity and try to push his haemorrhoids back in afterwards.
David will initiate the sodomitical process by licking Reg’s rump and anus, inadvertently ingesting faecal matter while doing so.
David will then proceed to smear and insert lubricant on Reg’s anus with his fingers and clear out any remaining faecal matter.
At this point, David usually holds a bottle of room deodoriser under Reg’s nose in an attempt to dilate Reg’s anus enough for penetration.
David will then attempt to ram his semi-erect member into Reg’s rectum, and upon doing so, will use the thin epithelial layer of Reg’s lower intestine to masturbate. David does this for long enough in order to effect ejaculation inside Reg’s rectum, mixing semen, faecal matter, blood, enema remnants and saliva together.
The process is quite painful for both, especially Reg, but he has convinced himself over the decades that he enjoys it despite the damage it has done to his bottom and the daily discomfort the decades of misuse of his body has caused him such as severe faecal incontinence, exacerbated haemorrhoids and various venereal diseases.
Once this process is complete, David will attempt to suck out this mixture from Reg’s rectum, ingesting it shortly afterwards.
David and Reg consider this dangerous practice to be ‘love’ and have adopted children into their ‘family.’
7
Thanks for that Cuntrarian, I’m on my tachograph break but I think I’ll save my sandwiches for later now.
4
Does he eat da poo poo.
3
Can I do all the above with Jennifer Lawrence please?
0
It’s another has-been you blame the public for, when times already up for this cunt to be no more. A law should be passed for the likes of others not to suffer. I’m alright, nonentities are harmless and can easily be ignored.
2
Last time he was in the news was when the pissy old cunt was moaning about Brexit. He couldn’t pop over to Europe for some brown love so easily. Now he’ll have to contain his bum fun for his own home and wash out the fecal stains himself.
3
Why are homosexuals allowed to adopt children.?
The mere biological fact that homosexuals cannot concieve children means that nature never intended homosexuals should not have children.
It’s an abomination…!
5
The people who allowed it are Satanic and are therefore against the natural (God’s) order.
Sodomy itself is a Satanic practice and the nature of Satanic practices is to corrupt children.
‘But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.’ Matthew 18:6.
Do you not think it a coincidence that ad society gets further fom God, that things like mutilating children and giving them puberty blockers has risen?
Our whole society is Satanic and evil. Corruption and moral decadence has become normalised and even encouraged.
4
18:22
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus%2018&version=NIV
2
Interesting reading Doctor but I note Verse 17 forbids going for the sportsman’s double.
0
Isn’t it odd that male homosexual couples always seem to adopt boys and never girls?
Quite a coincidence. I can’t imagine why.
4
@geordie…I see your avatar was a nice pink one before 😍…in honour of the nom ? 🩷🎹 🧐
1
On another equally disgusting topic..!
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSuOCulDCre/?igsh=ZTllajBhZnRheTh4
Sharia law for fat Reg…!
4
Hell Ton Toilet could be of use to the pothole problem from the other day.
2
I liked his regular appearances in Vis, Elton John’s tarmac scam, Elton John’s milk bilk, etc 🤣
1
…Viz… Idiot uneducated phone.
0
What a pity the old quare is so ancient. He could have become one of Kweer’s back benchers or Cabinet ministers. Or failing that one of his bum chums. I think he is older than Mandy now.
2
Starmer, busy licking Chink cock so they’ll stop selling boat engines to the smaggling gungs.
Wanker.
3
If only Donald Trump had politely asked Mexico to stop sending them illegal immigrants, Iran to stop massacring protesters and Venezuela to stop sending them narco boats.
3
“Elton John’s a homosexual” was always the chant when visiting Watford FC in the eighties. Whilst factual, I’m sure you’d get nicked for it now.
3
If he wants to carry on performing live because he enjoys it, that’s fine, but producing a new drink to make money? What the fuck does he need money for? And in actual fact he doesn’t. But he’s got the rich man’s sickness, he’s got more money than he knows what to do with and there’s only one thing left in life for him to do, and that’s to make more. You have to feel sorry for them, they can’t help themselves. He can always give his fortune to me, that will give him the impetus to start again. It’s no trouble, I’m happy to help.
0