Elton John (14)

is a cunt.

Just when you thought he was on his last legs, Elton John makes a miraculous comeback.
Having been out of the limelight for all of 6 months, it appears that Fat Reg needs the attention of his adoring public once again. Not to mention their hard earned cash.
Reg and his ‘husband’ David, have produced an alcohol free fizz to help them with their teetotal lifestyle of dinner parties and whatnot.
Apparently, they liked it so much that they thought it would be a nice idea to flog it in Sainsbury’s at 10 quid a pop.
Certainly a great idea if your the ones raking in the profits.
Most 75 year olds with something north of one hundred million in the bank wouldn’t bother, but people like him can’t help themselves. They can never earn enough.
And to cap it all off. Far from Glastonbury being his ‘final’ performance, he’s playing the rock in Rio festival this summer.
Doubtless for another fat cheque.
That’s if he lives that long.
Which he fucking well will, without a doubt.
I fear we’ll never be rid of him.

standard

Nominated by Field Marshal Cuntgomery.

6 thoughts on “Elton John (14)

  1. He can’t sing anymore,he sounds like someone’s granny after a night on the sherry.

    Not that that would bother him,nor it seems the likes of Paul McCartney and Rod Stewart.

    Always puzzles me why they don’t just stop and live a life of indolent luxury.

    Perhaps it’s because most of them are egotistical cunts.

    Good morning.

  2. So someone into chem sex and baby oil paddling pool romps is tea total?
    Fuck me tell it to the vicar, and if he likes it chances are it probably has a slight hint of knob to it, so regardless of price or figurehead I will give that one a miss.

    Has Bono done anything lately?, sort of tempted to put Mr Beast out there for his waterholes for Africa flop, but as it was his own cash maybe I should leave him alone.

  3. I can’t say that I liked or disliked him at all, he didn’t appear in my personal top 20.

    However, he absolutely shat the bed for me when he put new lyrics to Candle in the Wind and churned out that mawkish dirge at that funeral.

    I’d have admired him more if he’d done a ragtime version of Second-hand Rose.

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