I have set this for publishing because it is an important subject my Lord, however, any more nominations without a link will be binned C.A.
Now this is quite a serious matter, but one that fortunately effects only a few people.
It is unfortunately hereditary so you should have the good sense too get yourself checked.
The current Government has come up with a lot of humiliating ideas (mainly via taxation and legislation) to inflict on the British public, but this one must of been thought up by some raving homo.
The mass fisting of the UK male population over the age of 50!
Now what the fuck was that about? an attempt to rationalise or de stigmatize bum fun?
I am rather glad that idea was vetoed by the NHS and I am sure you all are too.
Nominated by Lord Benny.
You don’t need a finger up the chocolate starfish, Just ask for a PSA test. Your bum will thank me later.
17
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/nov/28/prostate-cancer-screening-not-expected-to-be-made-widely-available-in-uk
sorry there’s your link.
1
Hehe, it’s all about finding out who does and doesn’t clinch the finger, dirty buggers.
I thought the screening involved something called PSA blood test, the botty action comes later.
I guess doing a blood test on millions men costs a few Bob, can’t afford it, the NHS is on its knees or on strike or doing a little dance.
11
Statins, flu vakzines, covids boosters, anti-depressants. ritalin, there is something for everyone in the NHS box of quack cuntery. Now it is arse inspection. I understand Sir Too Kweer does Lord Ali’s for him. Get in there. Cunt.
Good morning, everyone.
13
I read that you now have to wait at least 2 weeks for a doctor’s appointment so I don’t see how there will be time for mass botty prodding.
I also don’t understand why there are so many adverts on British telly about seeing your doctor for this and that.
Are they trying to drum up business?
It’s not like people don’t know that there is a health service.
I think that it’s a sneaky way to kill people with stress.
“Had a cough for more than a week? Go and see your doctor. It probably isn’t cancer but see him anyway”.
How cuntish is that?
Suggest that someone might have cancer knowing that they will find it impossible to see a doctor for a couple of weeks at best.
14
That nice Cliff Richards has prostate cancer i heard?
Shame, i enjoy his insipid music.
Think all the massaging his prostate has had over the years would of had health benefits wouldnt you?
But sadly no.
Helmet fatigue.
14
With Charles the chimp king and Chris Hoy having prostrate cancer, experts will soon link the condition to people who spend an inordinate long time on their arses.
Cliff Richard must be nearly 90?
You have to die of something and that something is probably going to be fucking horrible.
Did he think that he was going to last forever?
12
Like all celebs Clifford has fought ageing tooth and nail Artie.
His face escaped relatively unscathed by the ravages of time.
Whereas his neck resembles a iguanas ballbag.
Think he uses a facial cleanser thats organic.
Dude milk😁
15
Two weeks to see a doctor?
I haven’t seen one since 2019, just the practice nurse, and that was a three week wait for an appointment.
7
I must admit I found my GP’s finger rather uncomfortable up the old shit chute.
‘Couldn’t you have taken your wedding ring off?’ I asked afterwards.
‘That wasn’t my wedding ring’ he replied, ‘it was my wrist watch.’
34
Bum bum!
😂
13
@geordie…. would a big bleck fist up my poo hole cure my constipation 😩…asking for a pissed off bowel that’s blocked more than the M1…a 💩a 💩my kingdom for a 💩 😖
8
I wouldn’t have thought so Gelderd. More likely to squeeze it solid.
Joking apart, I’d get down to the pharmacy if I were you and ask what they advise for tickling your hoop.
4
Sometimes a manual is the only way if the blockage is that bad, not much fun but if works relief will be forthcoming. This method is used in hospitals
6
I hope nobody is eating right now, but you have my sympathy Gelderd-ender.
I’ve just managed to launch the Dreadnought that has been blighting my life for three days on it’s maiden voyage.
I’ve emailed Blackburn Meadows ( our local “ahem” treatment site ) to warn them, because I’m a responsible citizen, that it’s not a crocodile.
5
I cant help thinking that the medicine is almost as bad as the ailment.
Getting dry Fingered off some umbongo NHS ‘ doctor’
Not a ideal way to spend a morning.
12
I know I’ve said it before on here Mis, but my experience with this has shown me that women doctors are much more sensitive and sympathetic to the situation than men, particularly if the bloke’s one of the young, hairy-arsed rugger types.
With a bloke, it’s fucking straight up, grin and bear it. With women it’s ‘try to relax, and I’ll be as gentle as possible, now here we go…’.
My problem of course, is that quite frankly, I like it when a woman sticks her finger up my arse. Our gp’s the best at it, and I wish she’d make it last for half an hour instead of half a minute. Heaven is what it is.
15
The BBC could cover the roll-out. Celebrity Arsewatch?
11
It is probably in the advanced planning stage. I bet that the competition to get on the ‘show’ is pretty stiff.
8
Makes you wonder about the title Twenty.
Strictly Come Arseholing?
8
The prostate is an absolute little cunt when it wants to be, and I speak from much unfortunate experience on the subject over the years.
I’ve had more fingers and surgical instruments up my jacksey than some people have had hot dinners, culminating in a procedure called a TERP in 2024. As that goes, well, you’ll be up and about in three or four days they said, you’ll be right as rain in a week they said. What followed was eleven or twelve weeks of absolute misery.
I don’t mean to scaremonger, but my advice to anybody would be, only have surgery as a last resort, when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
17
Ill pass.
But ill take the hot dinners.
7
I don’t know about that Ron …
They didn’t offer me surgery – radiotherapy every day for a month and hormone therapy to last for three years. You may suffer some side effects they warned. What they should have said was you WILL suffer some side effects and it will be fucking horrible. After seven months of the shit I told them to shove it up their ass. Now I’m warned that these effects may never wear off!!
10
Well the good news for me such as it was that I didn’t have cancer but bph (enlarged prostate).
Still a cunt though, and I’m still on a three month psa test when I thought that that was all over.
Commiserations to all out there with similar experiences. I know how you feel.
Morning all.
14
I should know by now,” finish your breakfast before checking IsaC”
More tea?
Mornin’ all
10
Triton sorry, but you must’ve known what you’d be in for, given the title of the nom.
😁
3
Prostate cancer disproportionately affects black men and this may be a symptom of systemic racism, which discriminates against people of African heritage in particular and is caused by white supremacists, with names like Hilda, Doris and Percy. If the new screening programme helps to address this societal evil, then we should all be glad. Anybody who disagrees is probably a vile bigot who deserves to be condemned and have their life ruined. Come on guys, let’s get behind Our NHS!
7
Me mustn’t forget to congratulate them, Norfolk, on being the only chosen members of the sickle cell club.
1
I’ll get checked when I’m 60.
By then the “screening” will be performed by a robot that looks like Raquel Welch.
In the buff.
I hope.
The cunts.
Good morning.
11
I’ve had to get a couple of biopsies, and the only consolation was it was done on both occasions by the same milf, who was a stunner.
I asked her what she said when people asked her what she did. She said it was great fun watching their faces change when she told them that her job was, in essence, sticking a great fucking tube up blokes’ arses on a regular basis. It was a real conversation killer down the pub she said.
Lovely she was, and a sense of humour with it.
15
Did you not offer to stick something up her arse as a thank you Ron?
12
Would have been only too happy to Herman, but it would have had to be the following week.
11
My biopsy was with an hairy ass bloke, with two nurses either side to keep your mind off things. It was the perineal type procedure (fucking hell) and he nonchalantly told me that the only job I had that day was to grab my bollocks and keep them out of the way !!
7
You’re dating yourself, which at age 63 I understand completely.
But today’s booty bot is gonna look like Sydney Sweeney
4
Should HAVE.
Would HAVE.
Could HAVE
Etcetera.
8
Bet that David Walliams enjoys a prostate examination?
Probably wears a cowboy hat.
Sends the doctor flowers the next day.
9
Off of is another piss boiler, when FROM is sufficient. I blame the hamshanks for this.
4
When I turned up for a hospital appointment, regarding my inner walnut, a rather large black man the size of Lammy, was putting on a pair of clear surgical gloves. I straight away told him “No not today, I am not in the mood, thankyou ” Wouldn’t have minded though if it was a nice young pretty nurse wearing some decent lingerie, like some of them do. He just grunted & scribbled something down on a sheet of paper. Of course when I later turned up for an MRI, I got questioned about it, so again I said I was not in the mood.
6
Sorry to go off topic but it would appear the Anthony bodybuilder Joshua v Jake YouTube Paul passed without incident in the early hours.
If this fight had been legit it would have been Netflix and Eddie Hearn trying to tap into the snuff film market.
Alas , the trio of conmen are a hundred odd million richer for the debacle.
No I didn’t watch it and yes, Anthony Joshua is a cunt and yes Eddie Hearn sucks cocks in hell.
Good morning.
6
I watched it this morning.
To call it a debacle is being too kind,something I’m often accused of.
A complete set-up and shambles.
I have found the perfect antidote and recommend it highly..
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gbm97Us99sk&pp=0gcJCU8KAYcqIYzv
Thank you.
4
Ive just watched it Herman.
Total mismatch.
Foot taller, about 2stone heavier,
Massive reach advantage,
Acting like hed fought a serious contender for a belt rather than a Youtuber to the sixth round.
I truly despise that cunt.
7
I had totally forgot that Frank Maloney now thinks that he is a woman until I saw him on the telly last night. The absolute fucking state of it.
6
Kelly Maloney has he’s now known.
5
I hear he was flying his Nigerian flag before the fight Mis
Wish he’d fuck off and stay there.
5
Wes Streeting is a hands-on type of health secretary and insists on conducting prostate screenings personally to help out the NHS.
9
I prefer to be streets away from that cunt.
8
O/T, apologies but had to share this with you..!
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSc9NiyjBP8/?igsh=M2ozOWIxOHdvbjFy
10
I have had the finger up the bum..!
It was easier than the camera down my throat..🤬
The joys of getting old..😂
12
Shared experiences Doc, I’ve had both as well.
5
Englandophobia.
Shabster Mahmood, is he one of your fucking lot
Cunt.
6
He may well be heading for a big fucking hole if he keeps on spouting that shit. We don’t all surrender, this is our country and has been since the end of the last fucking ice age.
9
Well, Doctor S.
That’s jolly nice of him.
A person who describes himself as a settler letting the indigenous people know what they will be allowed to do in their country.
Wonderful!
British Citizenship can be removed, just ask Shamima Begum.
Just saying.
5
I’ve had colonoscopies, but I would draw the line at having a wolligog’s finger up my arse. Yes I am racist and probably British.
11
Proudly was omitted by a black bastard.
8
My chap was Greek, makes you wonder doesn’t it
1
Prostrate examinations will now be carried out by a HRMC inspector..
8
The Bottom Inspectors have got a load on in the next week or two.
5
I hope this article puts a damper on these unnecessary interruptions we have to put up with each year. The only peaceful month in the whole calendar year is September, of which my birthday is solely celebrated.
62
When you consider we have a very effeminate quare as health secretary, it is no great surprise he instructs the NHS to concentrate on his favourite part of the body.
I am sure he is forever up the doctors getting his piles appraised, and to try to reconstruct his anus.
It seems incredible that a sodomite should be telling other people what is good for their health.
7
Enough of all this talk about male beam ends guys. Here’s a much nicer little bottom for you all to enjoy;
https://www.pexels.com/photo/grayscale-photo-of-a-woman-holding-a-black-bra-14666528/
7
🥳
5
Wasn’t there mention that only black men would be screened because they are more likely to get prostate cancer? That takes the biscuit for inverted racism.
I once had my bum examined for piles by a lady doctor. It was OK until she said, “I can’t examine the last 2 inches because of a stool on the end of my finger”. It would have to be performed by a lady doctor, preferably with big tits. At that time there was a bowel screening campaign by Meera Syal and I thought that would be a great tag for her advert.
6
Completely off topic, but the missus has just made me laugh with what is probably bullshit, but apparently Kim Jong Un has apparently banned suicide – anyone caught attempting it may face the death penalty.
10
This is a post I made back on 17/11/25. Relevant I think;
I asked my contact in the medical profession about this subject. My question to her was;
Do a prostate examination and a PSA test achieve the same aim, i.e. is only one required or both?
Her response verbatim;
No, they’re different things. A prostrate exam will give you a sense of how the prostate may have changed structurally. PSA can (and often does) go up for many many reasons, including recent ejaculation, benign enlarged prostate,going to the gym and having a prostate exam! But it can be useful for tracking change to see if further investigation is required. You couldn’t diagnose prostate problems with one or the other, but neither is really diagnostic – you need a biopsy for definitive diagnosis. PSA and prostate exam can help to decide whether to refer someone for a biopsy.
Hope that is useful lads. (Not to our female cunters obviousy.)
7
Well arfur, I would hope that the lovely ladies will pass this excellent piece of useful advice on.
6
“The PSA can go up because of recent ejaculation”
Thomas is likely to see some frightening PSA scores making diagnosis rather tricky
9
well my Mum died of Bowl cancer.
I am on some pretty amazing meds to thin my bloods, so I tend to bleed a bit, one type of med they put me on even my fucking gums bled (nose arse teeth!).
Any way I was shitting nice red blood, and pretty reasonable quantities of it, enough to soup up the toilet bowl.
Any way I had to go for the old finger up the arse, don’t know why and it was quite concerning as the doctor couldn’t find the lube, I was concerned he would use hand sanitiser as a substitute.
I then found myself on “The program” .
For the next 3 consecutive months I found myself starving myself and ingesting poisons designed to empty my bowls.
The drugs were fab, coupled with the ones I am already on, it was a good mix and an ideal date rape set up.
first investigation, well laying there watching almost a life on earth documentary on your lower bowl, then some fucking gooseberry appears and the camera goes into full matrix mode and knives and lassoes appear, with the vague realisation that this is going on inside your body!
Next one was a check up on the last, more found and removed, then a fucking nother one !
bollocks, 4 in a year not one every 4 years.
Fuck me that was not fun.
2
My GP informed me that PSA tests are notoriously unreliable.
My PSA has been through the roof for years , had all the tests recently and got the all clear. Having a prostate the size of a grapefruit might have something to do with it .
2