I have set this for publishing because it is an important subject my Lord, however, any more nominations without a link will be binned C.A.
Now this is quite a serious matter, but one that fortunately effects only a few people.
It is unfortunately hereditary so you should have the good sense too get yourself checked.
The current Government has come up with a lot of humiliating ideas (mainly via taxation and legislation) to inflict on the British public, but this one must of been thought up by some raving homo.
The mass fisting of the UK male population over the age of 50!
Now what the fuck was that about? an attempt to rationalise or de stigmatize bum fun?
I am rather glad that idea was vetoed by the NHS and I am sure you all are too.
Nominated by Lord Benny.
You don’t need a finger up the chocolate starfish, Just ask for a PSA test. Your bum will thank me later.
9
Hehe, it’s all about finding out who does and doesn’t clinch the finger, dirty buggers.
I thought the screening involved something called PSA blood test, the botty action comes later.
I guess doing a blood test on millions men costs a few Bob, can’t afford it, the NHS is on its knees or on strike or doing a little dance.
5
Statins, flu vakzines, covids boosters, anti-depressants. ritalin, there is something for everyone in the NHS box of quack cuntery. Now it is arse inspection. I understand Sir Too Kweer does Lord Ali’s for him. Get in there. Cunt.
Good morning, everyone.
5
I read that you now have to wait at least 2 weeks for a doctor’s appointment so I don’t see how there will be time for mass botty prodding.
I also don’t understand why there are so many adverts on British telly about seeing your doctor for this and that.
Are they trying to drum up business?
It’s not like people don’t know that there is a health service.
I think that it’s a sneaky way to kill people with stress.
“Had a cough for more than a week? Go and see your doctor. It probably isn’t cancer but see him anyway”.
How cuntish is that?
Suggest that someone might have cancer knowing that they will find it impossible to see a doctor for a couple of weeks at best.
5
That nice Cliff Richards has prostate cancer i heard?
Shame, i enjoy his insipid music.
Think all the massaging his prostate has had over the years would of had health benefits wouldnt you?
But sadly no.
Helmet fatigue.
5
With Charles the chimp king and Chris Hoy having prostrate cancer, experts will soon link the condition to people who spend an inordinate long time on their arses.
Cliff Richard must be nearly 90?
You have to die of something and that something is probably going to be fucking horrible.
Did he think that he was going to last forever?
4
Like all celebs Clifford has fought ageing tooth and nail Artie.
His face escaped relatively unscathed by the ravages of time.
Whereas his neck resembles a iguanas ballbag.
Think he uses a facial cleanser thats organic.
Dude milk😁
4
I must admit I found my GP’s finger rather uncomfortable up the old shit chute.
‘Couldn’t you have taken your wedding ring off?’ I asked afterwards.
‘That wasn’t my wedding ring’ he replied, ‘it was my wrist watch.’
13
Bum bum!
😂
5
@geordie…. would a big bleck fist up my poo hole cure my constipation 😩…asking for a pissed off bowel that’s blocked more than the M1…a 💩a 💩my kingdom for a 💩 😖
3
I wouldn’t have thought so Gelderd. More likely to squeeze it solid.
Joking apart, I’d get down to the pharmacy if I were you and ask what they advise for tickling your hoop.
0
Sometimes a manual is the only way if the blockage is that bad, not much fun but if works relief will be forthcoming. This method is used in hospitals
0
I cant help thinking that the medicine is almost as bad as the ailment.
Getting dry Fingered off some umbongo NHS ‘ doctor’
Not a ideal way to spend a morning.
2
I know I’ve said it before on here Mis, but my experience with this has shown me that women doctors are much more sensitive and sympathetic to the situation than men, particularly if the bloke’s one of the young, hairy-arsed rugger types.
With a bloke, it’s fucking straight up, grin and bear it. With women it’s ‘try to relax, and I’ll be as gentle as possible, now here we go…’.
My problem of course, is that quite frankly, I like it when a woman sticks her finger up my arse. Our gp’s the best at it, and I wish she’d make it last for half an hour instead of half a minute. Heaven is what it is.
2
The BBC could cover the roll-out. Celebrity Arsewatch?
4
It is probably in the advanced planning stage. I bet that the competition to get on the ‘show’ is pretty stiff.
3
Makes you wonder about the title Twenty.
Strictly Come Arseholing?
1
The prostate is an absolute little cunt when it wants to be, and I speak from much unfortunate experience on the subject over the years.
I’ve had more fingers and surgical instruments up my jacksey than some people have had hot dinners, culminating in a procedure called a TERP in 2024. As that goes, well, you’ll be up and about in three or four days they said, you’ll be right as rain in a week they said. What followed was eleven or twelve weeks of absolute misery.
I don’t mean to scaremonger, but my advice to anybody would be, only have surgery as a last resort, when all other possibilities have been exhausted.
8
Ill pass.
But ill take the hot dinners.
1
I don’t know about that Ron …
They didn’t offer me surgery – radiotherapy every day for a month and hormone therapy to last for three years. You may suffer some side effects they warned. What they should have said was you WILL suffer some side effects and it will be fucking horrible. After seven months of the shit I told them to shove it up their ass. Now I’m warned that these effects may never wear off!!
4
Well the good news for me such as it was that I didn’t have cancer but bph (enlarged prostate).
Still a cunt though, and I’m still on a three month psa test when I thought that that was all over.
Commiserations to all out there with similar experiences. I know how you feel.
Morning all.
6
I should know by now,” finish your breakfast before checking IsaC”
More tea?
Mornin’ all
3
I’ll get checked when I’m 60.
By then the “screening” will be performed by a robot that looks like Raquel Welch.
In the buff.
I hope.
The cunts.
Good morning.
4
I’ve had to get a couple of biopsies, and the only consolation was it was done on both occasions by the same milf, who was a stunner.
I asked her what she said when people asked her what she did. She said it was great fun watching their faces change when she told them that her job was, in essence, sticking a great fucking tube up blokes’ arses on a regular basis. It was a real conversation killer down the pub she said.
Lovely she was, and a sense of humour with it.
6
Did you not offer to stick something up her arse as a thank you Ron?
5
Would have been only too happy to Herman, but it would have had to be the following week.
3
My biopsy was with an hairy ass bloke, with two nurses either side to keep your mind off things. It was the perineal type procedure (fucking hell) and he nonchalantly told me that the only job I had that day was to grab my bollocks and keep them out of the way !!
1
Should HAVE.
Would HAVE.
Could HAVE
Etcetera.
3
Bet that David Walliams enjoys a prostate examination?
Probably wears a cowboy hat.
Sends the doctor flowers the next day.
4
Off of is another piss boiler, when FROM is sufficient. I blame the hamshanks for this.
2
When I turned up for a hospital appointment, regarding my inner walnut, a rather large black man the size of Lammy, was putting on a pair of clear surgical gloves. I straight away told him “No not today, I am not in the mood, thankyou ” Wouldn’t have minded though if it was a nice young pretty nurse wearing some decent lingerie, like some of them do. He just grunted & scribbled something down on a sheet of paper. Of course when I later turned up for an MRI, I got questioned about it, so again I said I was not in the mood.
2
Sorry to go off topic but it would appear the Anthony bodybuilder Joshua v Jake YouTube Paul passed without incident in the early hours.
If this fight had been legit it would have been Netflix and Eddie Hearn trying to tap into the snuff film market.
Alas , the trio of conmen are a hundred odd million richer for the debacle.
No I didn’t watch it and yes, Anthony Joshua is a cunt and yes Eddie Hearn sucks cocks in hell.
Good morning.
2
I watched it this morning.
To call it a debacle is being too kind,something I’m often accused of.
A complete set-up and shambles.
I have found the perfect antidote and recommend it highly..
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gbm97Us99sk&pp=0gcJCU8KAYcqIYzv
Thank you.
2
Ive just watched it Herman.
Total mismatch.
Foot taller, about 2stone heavier,
Massive reach advantage,
Acting like hed fought a serious contender for a belt rather than a Youtuber to the sixth round.
I truly despise that cunt.
4
I had totally forgot that Frank Maloney now thinks that he is a woman until I saw him on the telly last night. The absolute fucking state of it.
3
Kelly Maloney has he’s now known.
2
I hear he was flying his Nigerian flag before the fight Mis
Wish he’d fuck off and stay there.
3
Wes Streeting is a hands-on type of health secretary and insists on conducting prostate screenings personally to help out the NHS.
2
I prefer to be streets away from that cunt.
2
O/T, apologies but had to share this with you..!
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSc9NiyjBP8/?igsh=M2ozOWIxOHdvbjFy
4
I have had the finger up the bum..!
It was easier than the camera down my throat..🤬
The joys of getting old..😂
4
Englandophobia.
Shabster Mahmood, is he one of your fucking lot
Cunt.
1
He may well be heading for a big fucking hole if he keeps on spouting that shit. We don’t all surrender, this is our country and has been since the end of the last fucking ice age.
0
I’ve had colonoscopies, but I would draw the line at having a wolligog’s finger up my arse. Yes I am racist and probably British.
2
Proudly was omitted by a black bastard.
1
Prostrate examinations will now be carried out by a HRMC inspector..
2
The Bottom Inspectors have got a load on in the next week or two.
0
I hope this article puts a damper on these unnecessary interruptions we have to put up with each year. The only peaceful month in the whole calendar year is September, of which my birthday is solely celebrated.
0