Apologies to the admins for the brevity of this cunting but I’ve just spent the last 10 minutes putting one of these fuckers on.
Elasticated bed sheets are a cunt. Especially when you are trying to fit a single bed sheet to a double bed. When pissed. I purchased badly but fortunately had a back-up sheet.
Slightly confused Dark Key, are the sheets to be used to keep the bed dry when you are pissed? C.A.
Nominated by Dark key Cunt.
I’ve never had a problem putting sheets on beds.
It’s Mrs Twatt’s job.
You should stick to putting the bins out mate.
10
Sounds like our house Geordie. Also I admit I can’t cook. I maintain and repair the car, the central heating, the plumbing and electrics,, the kitchen machines, you name it. I do the same for the neighbours. Sometimes I’ve been given a couple of cans or even a bottle of wine…..
0
Add to this changing the duvet cover.
I’ve tried all the so-called hacks, but still end up with a lumpy bit that won’t lie flat, no matter what.
By the time you’ve finished wrestling with the fitted ( ha! ) sheet and the duvet, you’re hot, sweaty and exhausted, and need a brandy and a nap.
P.S. I bought a duvet cover that unzips on three sides, you just lay it on the bed, put your duvet on top and zip it in.
Pricy, but worth every penny.
10
Indeed JP.
When I was younger we had a cat who thought it was great fun to go duvet diving when you were trying to put it on and more than once ended up with the cat inside.
8
Serco will do it for you every day,for a small fee.
The vile cunts.
Good morning.
6
Fine cunting.
Folding them properly after laundering is the real cunt. Carefully tucking opposite corners into one another is the way to go but you need telescopic arms. The winceyette winter sheets are a fucker to stop from creasing before they go into the airing cupboard. As you have probably divined I have a doctorate in domestic science.
Good morning, everyone.
6
Has this turned into a gayness site?
Laundering, folding, ironing and making beds!!!
Pull yourselves together.
You are a disgrace.
Good morning.
9
Fitted sheets, when not handled correctly, can cause broken fingers:
http://www.handandwristclinic.com/article.asp?article=122&submenuheader=0
I hope that this dimension of bodily injury in part de-homs the nom, but agree we are in danger of kicking the day off on a particularly mincing note.
4
All my sheets got donated to the Klu Klux klan charitable trust.
Now i use a tarpaulin.
Easier to clean.
5
I am encouraged by the direction the nom is now taking, it just goes to show one should never be too quick to judge on appearances
4
Interesting site, Balsy.
I suppose you could consult it for wanking injuries too.
🤌🏻
1
Fuck me! I have been lucky, a life of manual labour with crushed, cut, mangled fingers, never put a sheet on.
I could have got mallet finger!!! Dodged that one.
0
No problem with the fitted sheet at the Doctor’s surgery until, Mrs S went out and bought a MATTRESS TOPPER..🤬
5
Is this the sketchleys homepage or a cast meeting of upstairs downstairs.
I’m like Sting I use it once then I throw it in the bin or shoot it.
Rodney has rubber sheets on his bed, as the sphincter control on his prolapsed arsehole is shot to bits.
4
Fitted sheets!….I sleep on the floor 💤…. usually pissed 👍
4
My bed was made for me by this bloke in Pot Shrigley..
Id broken our bed,
And missus Miserable bought some shite one from Argos
I broke it the first week and she had a meltdown and told me I was buying a new one 😟
Massive heavy timbers,
Itll outlast us, our kids,
Its real value for money.
British craftsmanship at its finest. 🇬🇧
4
You really shouldn’t have been bouncing on the bed at your age, MNC.
7
She wasnt happy Thomas.
Got a right bollocking.
Not my fault beds nowadays are made for Ethiopians.
2
It wasn’t him Thomas, it was the two ton of coal.
It’s true, all northerns keep their coal on the bed.
2
In the bath surely Soi? Many years ago in Walsall where I was born and raised, the days when the council would periodically check their housing stock was being properly looked after, they found in one house a donkey in the bathroom and the bath filled with coal.
0
Hey JP, not wishing to be impertinent but do you wear longjohns?
The finest undergarment for gentlemen ever.
Maybe not the most flattering but definitely the most comfortable!
Missus Miserable takes the piss but shes not the one out early walking the dog in the woods or loading the van in the rain.
For little skinny Sheffield pensioners theyd be ideal.
Stop you shivering like a RSPCA dog.
Theyre wonderful.
3
Sorry, but I seem to have blundered on to Mumsnet by mistake.
Sorry ladies.
Get To Fuck.
5
I resent that.
But im busy ironing my pinafore.
Or id give you a tart reply.
2
Indeed.
If my hands weren’t covered in flour as I’m making a Victoria Sponge I’d certainly give you a stern telling off.
Yes I would.
Your health sir (and a nice piece of cake with a cup of tea).
2
I wonder if Mandelson, Streeting and C. have shitted bedfeets…
1
Co.
0
Don’t buy fitted sheets, get flat ones and find a nice buxom nurse to make hospital corners.
Or for Ron Knee get Rachel the tea lady to do it, she has to be good at something.
Ron peeping through the crack in the door as Rachel bends over to tuck them in 😉
3
She can tuck me in any time Sick.
https://www.alamy.com/mp-rachel-reeves-seen-during-the-interview-outside-the-bbc-before-appearing-on-the-andrew-marr-show-at-broadcasting-house-photo-by-phil-lewis-sopa-imagessipa-usa-image407922559.html
She’s as sexy as fuck. Not quite Julia levels of hot, but up there.
Morning all.
0
I have great sympathy with Dark Key re this nom.
Anything to do with making up a bed is frustrating, esp trying to get a fucking duvet cover on.
I do love just lying in though, snuggling the wife, esp this weather.
2
That’s the use of having a wife in the winter Ron. Send her up to bed first. Bed nice and warm when you go up and then you can warm your hands between her thighs.
0