Katy Perry [4] – Astronaut


Ex wife of alleged rapist Russell Brand,
Katy is the perfect mix of ball achingly gorgeous and mind numbingly stupid.

Anyway she’s going into space with a all female crew.

Now, going into space is quite dangerous.
My first choice of crew would be someone like a US air force cosmonaut who’d trained in the field.

Not a pop singer .
What does she bring to the table?
Hardly skilled!!

” Oh like wow, so pretty!
Twinkly stars awesome.
I saw the moon!”

I’m not expecting a female crew to come back alive.
Pretty obvious someone will open a window and they’ll all get sucked into the black void.
Or explode due to hair curlers with faulty wiring left plugged in.

ABC News.

Nominated by : Miserable northern cunt

87 thoughts on “Katy Perry [4] – Astronaut

  1. She’s lucky I’m not on that rocket with her,nobody can hear you scream in space.

    Morning all,where’d the summer go ?

    • When I wrote this nom I didn’t realise they weren’t actually going into space.

      They barely broke through the atmosphere, it was just a day trip.

      I was hoping for concerned news reports

      ” a rescue mission has been hurriedly launched”

      “concern grows for pop singer stranded in space”

      ” reports of a explosion in the craft have been verified”…

      Feel a bit cheated😕

      Like having a donkey ride in Blackpool and telling everyone your riding in the Grand National.

      • Ps

        Why would you want to go up there?
        Fuck that.
        Nowt there.
        The inky black VOID.

        I was worried if they bumped into aliens,
        First impressions etc.

        These people Do Not represent the people of earth

  2. That shuttle already had all those dents..
    Must of happened in the supermarket carpark..

    Calling them the crew is a bit of a stretch..

    Last time they let a women touch buttons on the space shuttle it didn’t end well.

    • Even the Space Station is not in space, nor are satelittes, or they wouldn’t need to constantly correct their orbits nor eventually come crashing back to Earth. They are in high Earth orbit.

      I’ve got my tin foil hat, here goes.

      A lot of what has been said about the faking of moon landings etc is arrant nonsense, but…

      Some of it isn’t.

      It have never been explained how biological matter can pass through the MASSIVE radiation of the Van Allen belts, 4 time there and back, without dying.

      Lead is the only effective shielding, none was present on the Apollo missions, it’s far too heavy.

      ALL video, photos etc from space are from un-manned vessels or they are far within the said belts if crewed.

      • The Apollo missions marked the first event where humans traveled through the Van Allen belts, which was one of several radiation hazards known by mission planners. The astronauts had low exposure in the Van Allen belts due to the short period of time spent flying through them.

      • Why did all the chimps and dogs that preceeded them die?

        Radiation doesn’t work that way Harry. Even a few seconds of a dose high enough is invariably lethal, and the levels in the belts are, well, astronomical. Multiplied by 4.

        I don’t believe we have ever passed a human through them and brought him back alive, and therefore I don’t think man has been to the Moon, and this is the reason it has never even been claimed that we have since the Apollo missions, and the Space Station in not in actual outer space.

  3. But they all had matching outfits!

    So empowering!

    So eco friendly!

    Bezos is a right cunt,no sense of humour obviously…if I had his money I’d certainly have arranged for the Alien to be genetically engineered from a giant Brummie rat,to be released into the “crew” compartment just as they reached the outer atmosphere..

    That’ll shrivel your ovaries luv.

    Hysterical harpy Cunts.

    Good morning.

    • He obviously does has gave a sense of humour, gave you not seen his new slapper?

      Tell me, used up plastic porn tart, what first attracted you to the geeky, weird, arsehole multi-billionaire?

  4. Real astronauts are like Stephen Hawking without the dribbling. Incredibly clever with years of training in things like language, medicine, robotics, piloting, space system engineering and even wilderness survival as well as being incredibly physically fit.

    Gayle King, no me either, is learning meditation to cope with her anxiety. Says it all about this PR stunt.

    The rocket looked like a giant throbbing cock too.

    • Square jawed clean cut yanks used to be didn’t it?

      Your astronauts.

      Flew fighter jets and did dangerous stuff.

      Although Katy was married to Russell Brand, that’s pretty dicey?

      • Steve Austin,but without the’tache he’s currently sporting in the repeats at the moment.

      • Yeah that little tash was ill advised.
        Say what you want about Steve Austin he knew that sartorial elegance is a safari suit.

    • @doc…..at least the music was better then 👍 now it’s Sam smith etc …mind you the council should belt out some 💩 from today’s superstars of musical talent 🤮 and that’d get the giant rodents scurrying underground faster than an m.p. putting another expenses claim in 🫰

  5. Another one of these non-‘stories’ that I would have lived my life happily oblivious to, if it wasn’t for this god-damned fucking site 🤬 …

    (😄)

    No outrage over this little pointless jaunts environmental detriment, I take it?

    • I’m not entirely certain either, CC, but I think she’s famous for being the only woman to have consented to a sexual liaison with Russell Brand.

  6. Call me an old romantic Mis, but a lot of a woman’s attractiveness is not just how she looks, how pretty or perky she is. She, for me, has to have the X-factor, the je ne sais quoi.

    Katy Perry is an utterly vacuous bint, gobby, entitled, me too victim. That she would fornicate with arsehole Brand tells me all I need to know.

    I don’t know if he thrashed her, shame on him if he didn’t, stupid bitch.

    Utterly revolting.

    • She seems a bit simple doesn’t she?
      Like someone recovering from brain trauma.

      I think this makes her more attractive Termy.

      ” there wasn’t any change from the shops luv”

      ” you’ll have to suck the poison out or I’ll die”

      ” let’s have a joint back account”

      ” love your handwriting!
      It’s awesome.
      Sign this”

      • ” you can’t get pregnant from this..”

        “I won’t show anyone the photos..”.

        “put me down as next of kin”…

  7. If I ever went to the International Space Station, I’d leave a couple of turds* floating just above one of my fellow astronaut’s faces when they were asleep and then set off the fire alarm.

    * or a handful of space jizz.

    • I had to share the bath tub with my elder brother when we were kids Tommy, and I released a gigantic brown submarine, bobbing gently in his direction.

      Never seen him move so fast lolol.

      No more sharing the tub after that either.

  8. Lot of sooties on Blue Origin.
    Id die of embarrassment if we made first contact.

    Delegates from the venusian federation would think we’re sending them to colonise other planets!!

    Drive by Raygun crime would ensue and Martian tourists mugged and Stabbed by light sabers.

  9. O/T,

    Lammy has just announced over 100 million quid to be spaffed away on the Sudan. You can guarantee it will end up in various despots’ bank accounts before what’s left ends up in the muslim north, not the Christian south.

    • Aye but there’s a fair chance at least a good portion of it will be spent on Chinese weapons systems so the mad wőg cunts can continue their ridiculous war over a fly blown shithole that’s rammed full of prospective “asylum claimants”.

      So it’s not all bad.

      PS: Lammy should be forced to deliver the money in person,without security with the money in tesco carrier bags.

      Have a safe trip Foreign Secretary.

      • He’d end up in Yorkshire, same citizens, same result on the area.

        Dross. Let them alone, and what will be …

  10. Not the first rocket she’s ridden.

    Woman takes seat on love missile, barely leaves the atmosphere and returns. Big fucking deal. Not like she did anything but sit in her pampered bleached arse.

    Launch the Labour cabinet into space, Sunak can sit on the top and khan can inspect the rockets during laugh cos is dad wiz a bus driver.

  11. Surprised that the women could even reverse park the fucking thing, plot twist greta twatburg was on board. Katy perry was much better with a bit more meat on her.

    • This talentless tart must’ve wanked off a lot of cock to maintain her position. With all her brownlove action and bumfoolery with Brand (and probably all kinds of hamsters), she no soubt resembles an old sock down below.

  12. What makes me laugh is that some of the headlines referred to this as a space ” mission”, as if they were going to make some groundbreaking discovery that would enhance the lives of everyone on Earth.

    I wonder what it was, whose implants didn’t explode on re-entry, perhaps?

  13. I put in a nom yesterday for the first all female crew since 1963 and the absolute bullshit around the whole shit show.

    Osprey Windfried was on the scene so you can imagine the bullshit was spewing from her black arse.

    All I will say is 11 minutes 😂

  14. If its only for a bit of fun. They should’ve sent a group of obese tarts into space, for them to enjoy not having to lose weight and still be able to feed their fat ugly faces.

    • A sense of humour mightve seem the 6 of them sitting quietly knitting for a publicity shot. Ironically-self-deferential comedy, it could be called. A lost art these days.

  15. Ran out of other shit to read, since .. went for a factual height check on the wee excursion alluded to in the nom. (Felix Baumgartner *jumped* back to earth from a quarter the height, incidentally).

    Am happy to report that besides the yoke in the nom pic, I have never so much as heard the other 5 named ‘Fannynauts’ that the google threw my way (despite my not asking for them).

  16. Just a publicity stunt. They went up came down, rocket did not explode ten seconds after take off, the nav system worked as they did not end up buried in the Himalayas, parachute descent was faultless. All survived, bet Bozznos or whatever had a van full off clean underpants standing by. Think of the legal claims if the fucker had blown up. Would probably have exceeded the amount of aid poured into Africa in the last forty years. No not that much as even God had to sell a kidney.

  17. She is as thick as pig shit, but does have a fantastic pair of assets. She was shot into space, similar to something else when she enters into one of my fantasies.

  18. My father would’ve loved it on here. He had delusions of grandeur and everyone thought he had a screw loose. When now its all part of the scheme of things.

  19. She speaks in that new language called Markle Californian. She imagines it makes her sound interesting.
    Wrong. She sounds like a cunt the same as Markle does.

  20. They ought to have took Sigourney Weaver along for the ride. She has a knack of ‘picking up’ unwelcome passengers.

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