Absolutely!

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I am sorry I can’t provide a link, but turn on Wireless 4 any day of the week, especially during Money Box and You And Yours, and I guarantee you will hear some old bag screech the word “ABSOLUTELY!!”

You know the type. She went to “uni” always says “Thanks for having me on” before she starts her speech which always begins with “So-…”. Citizen Advice Bureau wimminz, “influencers” (aka ponces who want free stuff), company spokeswimmiz they all say “abs-so-lutee-lee!”. Many of them are in middle age but they all sound about 16, shrill and ever-so-enthusiastic. It happens to be a favourite of wimmiz MPs as well.

Can the BBC not call a ban on that word?. How about “quite” or “correct” or “I agree” or just an austere “Yes” , please no more fucking absolutelies. And why, since they are not being paid for their appearance why thank the fucking BBC for “having them on”. I would say “May I say to you, how generous of me is it to grace your tatty programme without a fee”

Is the word overused on the radio? – Absolutely!!!!!

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

99 thoughts on “Absolutely!”

  1. The speech patterns and lexicons of the modern west is utterly appalling.
    Dumbed down for the last 25 years to account for the ever-decreasing IQ of the populus.
    Not thay folk in general need to be erudite, but we ought to, at least, try and maintain a proper and correct manner of speaking.
    I blame social media and smartphones, innit?
    Blud.

      • Morning UT…what a silly bitch!
        Letting a chınky butcher fuck up your perfectly working legs.
        I hope she ends up crippled.

      • She is suffering from “body dysmorphia”. Belongs in the same group as “anorexia nervosa”. In my day we had a short term which covered all folks with such complaints; they were thick.

      • Hmmm. A pretty pertinent exclusion in that there (UT’s link) shambolic affair, is the cost to the British taxpayer, via her 5 years of followup NHS treatment. I don’t think that woman would feel any sympathy for the fact that her vanity/insanity got others bumped down the waiting list for NHS boob jobs, gender reassignments, .. and probably other stuff as well…

        Between that, now, and the story about bankrupt Katie Price leaking pus into a 5-star hotel swimming pool … 🤢

        From her facial staples, that is, … but on relection would you want to be in a pool that she was using, anyways, even on her best day?

        https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-13724953/Katie-Price-tourist-Trukey-face-lift-surgery.html

        🤮 Couldn’t hold it!

    • I get royally pissed off with, ‘And your name is?’ or alternately, ‘And you are?’ all too frequently used by reception staff in both face to face and telephone situations.
      I remain silent until the jumped up cunts have to ask, ‘Would you tell me your name, please?’, to which my response is, ‘Oh, I thought that you were going to tell me’. Works a treat, especially when you can see their deflated faces.

  2. The “So” boils my piss more than the “absolutely”. But the screechy ear splitting bint voice could tip the balance.

    • The American habit, prevalent with their women, to talk like you smoke 60 Woodbines a day, vocal fry I believe it’s called, drives me mad.

      Also raising a couple of tones at the end of a sentence, making a statement sound like a question is another pet hate.

      • Also the American habit of stressing the wrong syllable in common everyday words. Best example I know is kilometre. Try pronouncing kilogram that way and see how stupid it makes you sound.

      • Arfur@

        Yanks pronouncing ‘Himalaya ‘makes me grind my teeth to rubble.

        Him ar Lee a?

        Fuck off.

      • .. and why did Maury never correct any of his more colourful guests (see what I did there?) when they got a tad excited?

        “It’s ‘ask'”.

        “An axe is for hacking wood”.

  3. Cunts using the same words(s) over and over dilute the actual word in it’s normal use, when ‘you’ might want to use it.

    ‘Hilarious’, for example. bastardized to death via YouTube bait title-ing, and general incorrect overuse, ‘(subjectivity’ bedamned). Mildly amusing to pretty funny completely bypassed, every fucking thing is ‘hilarious’.

    ‘The word ‘celebrity’ doesn’t mean much these days. Clint Eastwood vs. Jedward, anyone?

    I saw ‘tragic’ & ‘tragedy’ breathe their last recrntly when the tabloids attached them to the jay slater (non)story after his remnant atoms were scraped up.

    Etc.

    • The MSM overuse of.’slammed’ and ‘blasted’.

      eg. Some D list nonentity ‘blasts’ some other waste of skin for some nonsensical reason on X (formerly twitter).

      Nobody got ‘blasted:’ at all. Some fuckwit gave some other fuckwit a piece of their mind. That’s all.

      At best this would amount to mild rebuke. Not exactly the same response as say, Israel’s response to having a bunch of their civilians kidnapped and murdered.

      • Also the use of ‘clap/clapped back’, a cuntish expression used by celebs as retort to some pointless media hyped spat.

    • The word ‘cunt’ holds it’s potency through and through, though.

      ‘Stupid cunt dead’ would have been sufficient to encapsulate the entirety of the outcome of the recent ‘Tenereife tragedy’.

      If a megaquake kills 250,000 people next weekend, the words ‘tragedy’ and ‘tragic’ will be applied, in their correct context in that given situation. at least.

    • I also think a word should be put in for “iconic” – this is applied to even shitty radio programmes that were only on air for a six week series, and, more the press than radio/TV “heartbreaking” – everything is “heartbreaking” according to the press. Another favourite is “Seeing where [insert name of ageing TV star] lives today will break your heart”.

      We are living in the theatrical world of the 1930s, and breeding our own little Adolf to go with it.

  4. When I was at school our English lessons covered grammar, pronunciation and debating.

    With debating a subject was put forward and we were encouraged to speak our opinions.
    We were also encouraged to listen to other opinions.

    That’s gone out of the window now.
    Anyone who has an opinion different to your’s is ‘cancelled’, ‘un-friended’, totally ignored without further debate.

    In grammar we were taught the correct words to use in the correct circumstances.

    I imagine that English lessons now are all about getting newly arrived Mohamed to speak a few words of English, and when he can, lo and behold another half a dozen immigrants join the class and the lessons have to all start again.

    If you listen to anyone under the age of 40 nowadays you will probably think that they would struggle with the Janet and John books which we read as infants.

    • The word ‘literally’ being used incorrectly is also bloody annoying, as is everything these days being ‘super.’ eg: I’m super excited, it’s super hot today etc etc why can’t they just say it’s VERY hot or I’m REALLY excited😡 I must be older than you Artful. Janet and John book’s weren’t around when I was a kid. ‘Old Lob’ is what we had in my school.

      • Not exactly the same thing, but you brought to mind an occasion ‘back in the day’ (😋 also used wrongly, often) ..

        .. when a mate’s girlfriend, on a particularly summer-y summers day(pre climate armageddon) .. declared “The sun is very hot today”.

        Indeed.

        It was -17°c here Christmas eve 2010. The sun was very hot that day too!

    • Janet and John were far right. As were Peter and Jane. I should think they’ve been memory holed years ago.

    • Mo only needs to learn a few words: gimme house, benefits and young white girl. Sorted.

  5. I do not like the incontinent use of the word “like”, like.

    And so many of my intellectually stunted staff seem to think that the prolific – and syntactically illiterate – use of the word “literally” imbues their discourse with some sort of higher meaning, when all it does is literally reveal the barren windswept desert that is their impoverished vocabularies, and their corresponding facility for conducting reasoned thought.

  6. When they ask a politician, ‘minister, will you be building more homes’?
    and they answer ,’we’ll ABSOLUTELY be building more homes’ i start to lose the will to live.
    Why not say we certainly will be building new homes you dozy cunts.

  7. I can imagine Keir Stasi sitting down in the Cabinet Room at No10 on day one and saying “that’s agreed then, we’ll blame everything from climate change to potholes on the far-right”.

    Absolutely.

    • I’m hoping that beautiful Lady Victoria (is she not fragrant?) will take the chubby arsed old cunt on a holiday where sharks are rampant and encourages to swim all day, every day. She is still young and attractive enough to start again with a decent man, and he will make a nice substantial meal for a hungry shark and a family of six.

  8. Some more pathetic examples of modern “journalism” are overused childish phrases to frame an article:
    ‘Vile’
    ‘Here’s why’
    ‘Reveals’
    ‘Sparks online debate’
    ‘I’m an expert on xxxxxx’
    ‘Goes wild’

    • I would hope that if your sex dungeon is ever discovered Cunt Engine, that they do you the courtesy of giving you a decent in-depth write-up and not some tabloid style ‘UK Josef Fritzl’ headline, sharing the front page with Katie Price going bankrupt again.

      • Indeed LL.
        Hopefully the phrases “finest quality straw in my cell” and “he took care to ensure that every sharp edge he used on me was first spritzed with anti-bac spray” and “Daniella Westbrook’s hollowed out skull dispensed peanut M&M’s through the coke-rotted nasal cavity – delighful!” are used in the Trip Advisor review.

    • There is also the asinine “Viewers saw [insert name overpaid poofy “celebrity”] and they all say the same thing”

    • My current piss-boilers are ” reaching out to”, usually an overly dramatic way of saying that someone was sent a leaflet, “bad actors”, meaning anyone with a vaguely public profile who holds a different point of view, and “slamming”, such as when one stupid cunt from Strictly “slams” another stupid cunt from Strictly for not wearing the right trousers, or some other issue of earth shattering importance.

      Top of list for some time though is “well done you!”, usually from some patronising middle class cunt, who is amazed that you had the wit to complete a simple task.

  9. Incidentally, if any cunters really want to read an article that’s hidden behind a paywall, copy the address and post it on:
    Txtify.it
    and you can read a basic text version of the article.
    Fuck journalists and newspapers, they deserve to go out of business, the partisan cunts.

  11. It’s probably only a matter of time before the word ‘absolutely’ gets shortened to ‘abso’.

    That’s what normally happens.

    “Let’s watch some celeb goss on the telly before breckie”.

    ‘Abso!’

  13. Let’s not forget the over exaggeration of words used. Horrifying, terrifying or shocked..

    Normally over someone saying something about immigrants..

    • Everybody is “in shock” not “shocked”, because they are horrified of the “behaviours”, when they mean “behaviour”.

      They used to sneer at poor old Jacob Rees-Mogg but give me him every day over some of the crap that got elected in July who can’t string a sentence together.

      I should also like to say a word or two about those cunters who mentioned the “Janet and John” books further up – do they not realise how sexist and homophobic that is? It should be “Tristram and John”. We never had books like that at school – something would be written on the blackboard (and it was as black as Lammy’s arse) “What is wrong with this sentence? – the horses and cows are in the field”?.

      What was wrong?. It should have been “the cows and horses are in the field”. See? – ladies first.

      We might have been ignorant dirty little cunts but we knew our manners!.

  14. Sometimes, it’s how certain words are conveyed.
    BBC newsreaders saying ‘Faaar right’ with a slight pause for dramatic effect before the word far.
    Or when people clearly have no idea what they’re favourite buzzwords actually mean.
    Politicians using the word ‘Democracy’, or football pundits use of the cliche ‘World class’ for example.
    All utter cuntishness.

    • You have to be fair to football broadcasters, Field Marshall. They are forever “over the moon”, so they have never seen a dictionary.

  16. Only a deranged total cunt listens to the BBC, I couldn’t give a flying fuck what they say, never listen to the crap. Good morning, where’s the promised blazing sun? More fucking fake news.

  17. “Tmesis” makes me laugh, such as, that’s edufuckingcation for you, putting an expletive in the middle of a word.

  18. ‘Quality’ requires an quantifying adjective. The ad that stuck in my mind more than most was that Lidl or Aldi one where an equator-y gentleman declared the supermarkets meat products as …. “quality’ (pronounced kwol-ih-ee).

    Shit quality, presumably. The guys comment was meritless, though. I take it it’s in general everyday use. If it’s ever used by someone describing something to ME, they had better be prepared to have themselves interrupted mid sentence.

    • That’s another nuisance the “glottal stop” you explained, CuntemAll, when mentioning “quality”. The Cockneys say “bu’er” for butter and wa’er for water.

      • So, on is-a-cannnt.com somewhere, a cockney is deriding ‘us’ .. something like :

        ”They fackin’ pronounce woe-ah as ‘wawter’, the uppihy cants”..

  19. They are skating around words, the politicians use, trying to make themselves look clever, or to bide time on what to say next.

  20. I find I don’t have this problem.

    Because
    1) I don’t listen to the radio
    2) I don’t care
    3/ see point 1 through to 2.

    I don’t agree with people in everyday life so I’m certainly not going to agree with some spunker like Steve Wright, kid Jenson or Tony fuckin Blackburn.

    I prefer them silent.

    As for ‘gramnar’
    Mine was a lovely lady and used to buy me a mars bar on a Friday.

      • The Play one Sammy.
        Eaten on my own in the coal shed.

        It’s where I got the habit of playing with myself.

      • In fact Sammy I resented the Mars company dictating what I did.

        At the end of the day they swan around like petty fuckin Hitlers but are just a confectionery company.

        They told me to rest?
        I’d stay up all night.

        They told me to work?
        I’d phone in sick.

        They told me to play?
        I immediately went and got a paper round.

        That showed them the cheeky fuckers.

        They’re not the boss of me!!

  21. So, I am like, literally appalled at the use of some words …
    But absolutely could be the worst.
    WC is not right to suggest that a “correct” or “yes” would suffice instead.
    Absolutely is an adverb, it requires to be explained by something else.
    In answer to a question “will you be building more houses?”, the response could be “absolutely we will” or “absolutely not”.
    Absolutely has just been bastardized into implying the affirmative.
    Fuck social media, fuck celebrity chavs and fuck smart phones.
    But I guess many of our words have had their accepted meaning changed since medieval times.

  22. There certainly are a great many thick cunts out there,many of them with degrees and vastly overpaid employment.

    The “media” is an open sewer,probably operated by Thames Water.

    Anyway fuck them I’m absolutely having a Full English.

    Good morning.

  23. That’s what you get for listening or watching the BBC..

    The only time I want to see the BBC, it needs to be on fire or getting closed down by bailiffs..

  24. I saw some silly bint on the TV, after every point point raised it ended up with her saying absolutely, after 2 or 3 times you would expect that some degree of self awareness would kick in, not a chance, it was absolutely all the way 😂

  26. Ah! The dreaded “A” word! I heard some cunt say it three times in a row, on T.V. once, & that was without interruption!

    • It *could* be jazzed-up a bit from time to time, though.

      When asked today “Are you going to build more houses?”, the minister replied ‘Absa-motherfuckin’-lutely’.

  27. I don’t like poor people who call me ” bro”.
    The plastic yank fuckers.

    ” You git me bro?”

    Most certainly not .

    Look “BRO” go back to your slum,
    Put on your best tracky bottoms and take Chardonnay to the nit nurse you weed smelling , benefits claiming, fireworks loving, fuckin loser.

    I prefer pal.

  28. In my primary school in the fifties the books from which we learned to read featured Dick and Dora.

    Many journalists have no concept of tautology.

    Fashionable nowadays, especially in IT, to use plurals as if they were collective nouns e.g. data and media. Also using i.e when they mean e.g.

    The split infinitive still grates on me, it would have cost me marks in an exam. I seem to be the last person left who knows that rule since Maggie died.

  29. Arfur sorry to hear about your split infinitive.

    Hope it heals up ok.and your back in the saddle soon!👍

  30. I hope we don’t pick up that other ghastly Americanism of abolishing the difference between transitive and intransitive verbs. Talking that way really does make you sound stupid!

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