and the Implementation of Dynamic Energy Pricing is a cunt.
Well most of us knew that smart meters were not really meant to save us money, but in actual fact is to be used as a form of dynamic pricing based on a 24 hour demand pricing algorithm.
Essentially OFGEM want to do away with the current energy price cap because it believe millions of customers are moving away from fossil fuels and onto renewables such as EVs, solar panels and heat pumps (They don’t provide actual stats to back this up, but of course it doesn’t matter because they know best, innit!)
They believe the current energy plan is unfair on these “good” customers and hence the introduction of Dynamic Price Cap based on demand. In other words you will pay more during popular hours of the day – usually 6am to 9am and 4pm to 10pm.
The actual rate in terms of pence/kwh, isn’t mentioned but they believe it will be far more than what you’re currently paying under the existing cap. But they do say “off-peak” charges will be far less than the current cap,
This means if you’re housebound, unemployed, retired, or WfH, you could see a massive increase in your energy bills under the new cap, which will be monitored by your smart meter. The energy suppliers will know exactly when you use electric most and charge you a premium for it.
Years ago OFGEM insisted smart meters would help people save money on their bills, but now that millions of accepted meters in their homes, OFGEM have changed tack and more or less said “Fuck you, suckers!”
And those energy suppliers, so keen on pushing these meters on you, and again insisting they will save you money, want this new cap introduced in order to maintain profits. Afterall, we can’t have customers ending up with smaller energy bills despite our bullshit saying meters would do just that. Profits come first!
This idea is still on the drawing board, but it will only be a matter of time before it becomes a reality. All those promises about meters, cheap energy and going with renewables was all one big wet fucking dream!
Nominated by Technocunt.
Smart Arse Money Grabbing Cunts, don’t give you the full story.
7
There is no good to come of these contraptions.
They will be used a tool to reduce consumption and mask our non existent energy security.
All in the name of “Saving The Planet”..
With all the dreadful things going on it’ll be this seemingly small issue that potentially leads to collapse of rule from Westminster.
I hope so,the lying cunts leading us to disaster need plugging into the mains.
20
I’d like to start up a new quango ……
OFFUCK… hope it catches on 👍
Try that smart arses
20
I like the sound of that !
8
Excellent.
@Admin – could we have an OFCUNT here?
(Not sure what its function would be though).
3
I’m afraid all this tech stuff is way above my head. Am I right in thinking that the signal is sent by the smart meter to the supplier using a mobile network?
The reason I ask is that my meter reader told me she has to take more readings from smart meters than the old sort like mine because mobile signals are crap out here in the sticks. So they can force a smart meter on me if they like, but they still won’t know when I’m using the leccy, the wankers. Unless I send them a meter reading every 5 minutes I suppose.
Yet another example of the powers that be thinking they can rule our lives with rubbish technology (see also EVs, solar panels, heat pumps and all Government IT systems).
15
Well said, GT. Coal – that`s the future (and you should know with your thriving northern mining communities of the past). Granted, it upsets today`s kiddies and is a bit smoky, but it was cheap & it kept you warm . And it provided soot. The cost of blacking up these days is outrageous!
13
You must be suffering a cost of living crisis of your very own Sam. Is there anything we on IsAC can do to help?.
#SootforSam
5
Yeah, we have solar panels and insisted we have a smart meter when they were installed.
“You won’t be able to install one, we don’t get a mobile signal,” we told them.
Nevertheless, a bloke turned up to install one. “We don’t get a mobile signal,” we told him. “It’ll be fine,” he said, whipping aout a gadget which tests all the different mobile phone networks.
“Oh, you really don’t get a mobile phone signal,” he said, putting his gadget and smart meter back on the van.
“No”, we said, smugly.
We never wanted a smart meter, they’re obviously a way of charging you more, cutting off your supply when demand exceeds supply, or both.
Generate more power, you cunts.
9
It is (in the pocket ) Ofgem who are the prime cunts here. Policing “fairness” my fucking hairy arsehole! Power suppliers making obscene profits , and shareholder ( mostly overseas ) reaping massive untaxed dividends. As for smart meters ( aptly named ) clever enough to fiddle the bills and demands . The days of “computer says” are here, and, like the post office, “computer is infallible”
Fuck meters, fuck ofgem fuck Hunt fuck em all !
14
I think we hit a nerve there, Trebby. 😳
3
I had the pleasure to listen Jeremy Vine on the radio the other week (I know he is a cunt and I was out in the car) and he was focusing on the number of faulty meters that are out there. Now if this was ex pat Taffy I would be suspicious over the numbers but it’s the BBC (don’t laugh) and the estimate is around 4 million.
Some of the phone in guests told absolutely nightmare stories and in the spirit of the post office fiasco the energy providers were less than helpful.
One woman said her average bills were around £300 a month but after the smart meter was installed they went to £6000 and there were other with similar issues who just couldn’t get the providers to admit there could be something wrong.
One guy who used to install these fucking things said that the people recruited to install them were neither gas or electric qualified.
A couple of years ago I had a call asking me if I wanted one, my polite reply was no thank you, the silly cunt on the other end of the line asked me why so I told her because they are nothing to do with saving money but all about controlling how you use energy, I think I was right.
19
We still have a mechanical reader. The day reading part hasn’t budged since we moved in over 20 years ago! I submit same reading online every quarter, you’d have thought their computer would have alerted them to the fact that we’ve not used any electricity during the day for nigh on two decades…The night reader bit works round the clock, not just at night when it’s supposed to.
Regarding smart readers, we’ve never been asked if we want one, but our next door neighbour has been under constant pressure for years to have one installed. All very odd.
Beginning to think we’re living in the twilight zone…
11
I was told, on several occasions, I had to have a smart meter. I ignored them. They then told me I had to have one as part of the tariff I was on. I’d had enough and said ok. They couldn’t wait to book a fitting appointment. They got it wrong as I changed supplier. Screw smart meters. I won’t have one of the fuckers until I’m forced to by law.
5
Ofgem, Ofwat, Ofcom.
All created, we were told, to protect consumers from the avaricious intentions of privatised companies.
But now their sole remit is to protect shareholder profits.
‘We must protect the market’ is one of the phrases used, which means the public will have to pay more and more.
Re nationalisation is the only answer. But to suggest so brings warnings of going back to the 70s.
I’d quite happily go back.
We’re worse off now than anytime since the late 50s, and I can see it getting worse.
15
Don’t worry, Labour will sort it out, anyone with two ha’pennies to rub together will have to give one to the government 😢
11
Absolutely. The tories squeeze you dry and Labour will do the same.
What a choice!
11
@field The good ol’ days eh …. horrible to think that people will consider these days as the good ol’ days sometime in the future 😩…poor unfortunate cunts 👍
8
With you on that !
4
All about the ever increasing control of the masses.
They don’t want you burning logs or coal to keep warm and they don’t want you using petrol or diesel to power your car.
They want everyone plugged into and utterly dependent on the grid.
That’s without even mentioning the distinct lack of any realistic long-term energy security
14
Labour will quadruple onshore wind and live in hope 😂
5
The smart meter monitors don’t fucking work. Fuck off British Gas, and take you stupid gizmos with you ,you fucking cunts. And while we are at it, whatever happened to the remote readings that the water companies promised. ‘We will be able to read this from the street so we won’t need to bother you.’ Ha, ha ha. More pie in the sky, incompetent fucking bullshit.
Extra ID needed to turn up and vote on 2 May. It’s not the people who turn up to vote on the day that are rigging the elections, you stupid cunts. It is the peacefuls with their fucking truckloads of postal ballots. More fucking shit to hassle the law-abiding with while crooked cunts carry on as usual. Go fuck yourselves you cunts.
21
I do get accurate water bills twice a year, but I also provide readings each month. I keep a record of 1st of the month readings for all utilities on a spreadsheet so I can see at a glance if there’s a fuck up.
3
Please permit me to widen the topic slightly. The reason the government and the utilities can sell this shit to the masses is due to the fact that the most basic technical knowledge amongst the masses is absolutely woeful. I absolutely do NOT blame the general public for this widespread ignorance. The fault is with the education system. When our kids were doing basic science at secondary school I had a look through their text books. I was appalled to see all the woke bullshit in there. In the physics text book for instance there was stuff on nearly every page about “global warming” and/or “climate change”. Now whether you believe in such theories or not is secondary, the point is learning such stuff will not enable you to calculate your utility bills and how to control them and whether or not you are being scammed. I’m not talking here of knowing particle physics or the workings of space-time to great depth which are way beyond me anyway, but of basic stuff which helps enormously in day-to-day life.
One of the most egregious examples I have seen recently of a scam depending on this ignorance is full page adverts for domestic electric heaters in magazines with a high proportion of elderly readers. These things are not even storage heaters where you can run them on cheaper off-peak electricity but simple fucking resistors in shiny cabinets. The advert pushes the point that they are 100% efficient whereas your gas boiler is probably only 75%. You are not informed that electricity is about four times the price of gas but because of the lower efficiency of your gas boiler your heating bill will not quadruple, it will merely triple.
16
Keep on rejecting these bloody meters! This sounds like a cunning plan to rinse everyone who had given them two fingers up until now.
10
I was asked, by my then supplier that smart meters were a government initiative, I informed them those two words didn’t belong together in the same sentence.
If the system recommends it, avoid.
If your energy broker hassles you to get one, change broker.
It really is as simple as that.
6
This can’t be their first cuntimg. I remember cunting these bastards years ago.
3
I agree Capt Mag.
I think these control freaks were cunted in the past as well.
Dynamic pricing is a cunt in and of itself. It’s here in the States in a variety of forms. Most recently the fast food chain Wendy’s announced that it was moving to a Dynamic Pricing model.
They have joined the long and every growing list of companies on the Cuntster Boycott List.
10
Is Wendy’s the one that uses square burger patties?
2
Hey Cuntamus,
Yes. Wendy’s burger patties are indeed square shaped albeit regular size.
White Castle (and their clone Krystal) also have square shaped patties but they’re mini burgers known in the vernacular as “sliders”.
3
Suprised they are not directly connected to the great and infallible internet with listening ears built in like those horrendous smart speakers so the energy cunts can turn off the power if you vere away from the accepted right on bollocks about the “CLIMATE EMERGENCY “!!!!!, and turn the heat up cos your knackers are blue.
4
While I do not disagree with those of you who are resistant to Smart Meters ( my Younger experiences with British Gas are enough to put me off for life), not all energy suppliers are shit.
My current supplier did a day where the paid me to use electricity, and a 5 hour chunk, from 11am to 4pm, where it was free, or they paid me.
I did 3 loads of washing, ran the dishwasher at the hottest long setting, and did 4 loads in the tumble dryer.
Total cost to me, 21.54p.
For 24 hours worth off electricity.
1
Say what you like about smart meters but as an ex smart meter installer involved in the design of smart meters I can quite categorically say they cannot cut off your supply remotely, unlike your phone,tv, broadband supplier.
I’m not defending them, just pointing out a fact.
1
Thank you.
That’s good to know.
But can they put your prices up without warning?
1