American ‘Country Style’ Dancing

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Ok cunters, indulge me on this one. I know I’m being idiosyncratic, but I find American-style country dancing, or country hip hop, or whatever it’s called, to be inexplicably but incredibly irritating. I know that it’s harmless and gives fun to a lot of people, but just watching them gives me a bad case of the twitch and makes me go ‘aaaaarrgh!’. It’s the American equivalent of morris dancing.

Normally I avoid any display of it like the plague, but lately it’s been really in your face on soshull meeja, which I put down to the release of a song called ‘Texas Hold ‘Em’ by Beyoncé. For some reason, this release has led to a really bad outbreak of Letitgoitis (as in ‘let it go, let it go’, from ‘Frozen’) with umpteen thousands of women (it’s usually women) feeling compelled to perform for our edification.

This involves a two stage process. Firstly you acquire a cod cowgirl (or boy) outfit; some combination of tight denim jeans, stetson, studded shirt, leather boots and belt with a big buckle. Secondly you gyrate about as though you’ve got a bad case of knock knees and pigeon toes, while in turn whirling your arms about, touching the rim of your hat, patting your arse, sticking your thumbs in your belt, and slapping your thighs and ankles. Thus;

Having filmed yourself in action, you then deluge Youtube with your effort, along with millions of others with more enthusiasm than talent.

I really find it quite hard to articulate why this form of dance (I’ll be generous and call it that) sets my teeth on edge so much. The wife says that I’m actually an old perv who likes the sight of peachy little ass in tight jeans. To an extent she’s not wrong, but it goes beyond that. I just find it so twee, hick and corny; in a word, cringeworthy. It’s like fingers down a blackboard. I know that I should simply stop watching these videos, but it’s like a scab that you can’t stop picking.

As I said, it’s an idiosyncratic loathing, but for me it’s a real one. Just as some people have a phobia about clowns or string, perhaps I’m countrychorophobic or something. Anyways, I reckon it’s a cunt, and I’m sticking by that. Am I on my own?

Nominated by: Ron Knee

And supported – sort of – by General Cuntster

I’m not sure if I’m seconding this nomination or counter-cunting it.

This type of dancing evolved from country line dancing and it has been around for decades.

Here’s the great Dwight Yoakum with his interpretation (1999) of Queen’s (1979) “Crazy Little Thing Called Love.”

It was never really my thing but I do understand it. Rowdy music, Lone Star beer, Marlboro cigarettes, cowgirls and honky tonk heroes.

101 thoughts on “American ‘Country Style’ Dancing”

  1. I know where you’re coming from. As long as it’s not patting the rim of your arse and touching your hat.
    I have to come out and say i’ve always quite liked Morris dancing since i was about five when they used to dance every Whit Monday morning outside my grandparents pub.
    Weird i know.

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  2. Morning Ron, GC, everyone. Not especially annoying to me but certainly a pointless exercise. Years ago the BBC had a music programme called “Country meets Folk.” Friend of mine said it was the broadcast programme he most hated in the world. He freely admitted to never having heard it.

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  4. The one in the black hat is welcome to join me in role playing ‘cowgirl bound and diddled by a truck drivin’ man’

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    • Hello Cuntamus,

      Are you a truck driver in real life or do you just play one on IsaC?

      Either way, be advised…

      In the States, crossing state lines with a female for the purpose of a carnal engagement is a violation of the Mann Act.

      Look it up.

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      • I only drive a small van but with a bit of swarfega -or olive oil -manage to squeeze her in the back with the vegetation.
        Apparently if you use biodegradable, vegetable-based restraints and lube in securing your stetson and denim-clad beauties you dont violate the Vann act.

        It comes under ‘carbon capture’ and rewarded with a grant.

        (i’ll look up the Mann Act just to see if it might apply to Mr Cunt Engine).

      • Damn!

        I never thought of that. TtCE was one of my favorite posters despite (or maybe because of) his proclivity for depravity.

        Jesus! He may have hustled up some chippy at a Truck Stop in Colorado and then crossed into New Mexico and ran afoul of the Feds due to being unfamiliar with the law.

        If I wasn’t already on Biden’s watch list I’d investigate a bit further.

        We may have to start a GoFundMe for him.

        Perhaps for a member of the IsaC Faithful it would be a GoCuntMe page.

      • I think Mr Cunt Engine and myself would be quite legal (apart from the abduction) as the Mann act applies to commercial rather than personal transportation of mascara-stained lovelies in tight denim.
        Any State troopers i encounter might be intimidated by my accent and mistake me for an officer of Darth Vader’s Imperial fleet.

        that film where JT Walsh kidnaps Kurt Russell’s sexy wife and locks her in a chest frezer has a lot to answer for.

      • And you think TtCE would be above enticing a professional to satisfy his depraved desires?

      • I know you’re not above trying to shit stir on a thread about a DEAD FUCKING BABY. All trolling aside that’s fucking callous and you should be ashamed of yourself.

      • I wish you could leave your beef out of this conversation. I have no interest in it and it ruins the fantasy with talk of Dead babies. Not for TTCE, perhaps, but it does for me.

  5. All a bunch of puffs.
    An that pansy, Dwight Yoakum, can go stick summat up his donkey’s ass.
    Gimme Lonesome Cowboy Burt anytime.
    Good Morning.

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  6. Morris dancing is far superior to this shite.

    There’s a Morris troupe sometimes dances in the pub carpark on a Sunday.
    Nowt more English than that🇬🇧

    This line dancing crap ?
    Fuck that.
    Although I do like that Appalachian thing where some hillbilly dances to fiddle music on a board while full of moonshine.

    Ps
    Most of them rape canoeists!
    They did it to Burt Reynolds fat mate.

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      • Hey Ron,

        A Honky Tonk angel is a particular type of woman who spends time caught up in or engaging in (depending on which side of the bar you’re on) 2 of Country Music’s most popular pastimes…drinking and cheating.

        Well known in the backwaters of America, they came to prominence in 1952 with Hank Thompson’s song “The Wild Side of Life” which featured the line; “I didn’t know God made Honky Tonk Angels.”

        However, it was Kitty Wells’ response to that song; “It wasn’t God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels” that became number 1 and launched them into the public eye.

        Here’s both songs with lyrics.

        https://youtu.be/Qgzj-dAPOF8?si=VxyYcbMpNMLcK2gD

        Not real sure why the lyrics are in both English and Spanish but this is the first one I could find on short notice that had printed lyrics.

        WARNING: This is old school American Country and Western Music and it may be triggering to some sensitive or more insular Cunters.

      • Excellent work General, thanks!

        Some very good stuff from those days, sounds real and authentic to the ear.

  8. Sorry, but its just for the ladies or gaymen.
    Nothing can come close to the Teutonic thwack of a firm hand-slap on the shiny lederhosen-clad thighs of taught blond Aryans.
    Guten Morgen mein Künters!

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  9. The shite Beyoncé record sounds like a parody of a country and western song. Of course as it’s Beyoncé it’s meant to be wonderful and breaking boundaries. She could fart in a bottle, release it as a record and it would still be number one.
    Having been to Florida, I could not understand the fascination with line dancing. I thought it was the reserve of all the oldies, but no all the youngsters in their cowboy/girl outfits joining in on a Friday night ho down.
    Some lovely lasses arses in tight jeans though!

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    • Ron@

      Dare I ask why your watching Line dancing?
      Not being dragged to a upcoming barn dance by the missus are you?

      For fuck sake don’t go on the bus!!

      Take a taxi.

      A mature Brummie in a 10 gallon cowboy hat and skinny jeans will incite some youth to violence.

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      • If I ever did, I’d turn up in a Villa shirt and a baseball cap with ‘MAGA’ on it.

      • It was in the hotel we were staying in.
        Thought may as well as have a couple of beers and watch the entertainment.

    • And the endless wanking over her cover of ‘Blackbird’.
      The ususal revisionist woke shit about it being a ‘civil rights’ song. Absolute arse, That cunt Macca trumpets this bollocks now. But, in 1968, he said it just about a blackbird in his garden.

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      • Indeed. If my memory serves, he said something along the lines of being woken up about 4am to the sound of a blackbird’s song.

        That somewhat lacks the moral rectitude of claiming it was all about civil rights.

      • The only person who appears to have got the message at the time was Charlie Manson.

      • I just don’t get the whole Taylor Swift thing. My daughter’s paid out a fucking king’s ransom to take the grandkids to see her later in the year. Madness.

        To be honest when I look at her she reminds me of one of those robot sex dolls, with that slightly vacant look about her.

  10. There was one singer whose name must have been Enus.
    When he was introduced by a local in his southern drawl it certainly sounded like something else. My mate said to me ‘Did he just say he’s names Anus’. I replied ‘yeah, evidently it’s a bit of a arsehole’.
    One of the funniest nights I’ve had, and they were taking it seriously. Crap music, weird dancing, awful singing and some bloody weird hillbilly names.

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  11. Like I said, for some reason it drives me nuts watching this form of ‘dance’; fucking hell it’s harmless I know, but it’s so banal and trite.

    Mind you it’s not on its own. It used to get me watching those videos by Mariah Carey and her ilk; the singer out front, with a tenpin bowling formation gyrating like a bunch of synchronised twats behind. What a cliché that became.

    Don’t get me started on morris dancers, or those Irish dancers hopping about with their arms looking as though they’re glued to their sides. Wanky.

    Morning all.

    PS Please; don’t anybody put up a video of a bunch of twats dancing to ‘achy breaky heart’. I might just slit my wrists.

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  14. Here in the UK Country and western music is about as popular as anal warts .

    When Fred West was on remand in prison he was attacked and beaten up by other inmates.
    Not because of his disgusting crimes but because he kept singing Kenny Rogers songs.

    My friends mock me because I like C&W.
    I don’t like that new rubbish like Dwight Yokel.
    But love Johnny Cash , Hank Williams and yodelling Jimmy Rogers.

    Fuck em.

    Anyway here’s Johnny!!

    https://youtu.be/1Osyw6Svv8U?si=sdZJm9vCeWtLJ8X5

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  15. Its the case of beyoncé and get another load of shite for free. Hands Knees and Bumpsy Daisy, knocks it into a cocked hat.

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  18. Sirs:

    I don’t get it either but it doesn’t bother me.

    With every passing day I get closer to cashing out and moving to the end of a dirt road in South Dakota

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  19. And that monumental cunt Beyonce.
    Cracking on she’s a country artist., She puts on a blonde syrup and a stetson, does substandard faux C&W shite for chavs and every fucker wanks themselves to death over it..

    But if a white artist does anything black related, it’s appropriation and mass chimp outs.

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  23. As they’re all wearing dresses it’s hard to tell the men from the women.

    Oh wait…this is traditional Scotland not the Tranny friendly, LBGTQRSTLMNOP+ or – X% Jockistan of today.

    Sorry.

    Never mind.

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  24. I just don’t get the whole Taylor Swift thing. My daughter’s paid out a fucking king’s ransom to take the grandkids to see her later in the year. Madness.

    To be honest when I look at her she reminds me of one of those robot sex dolls, with that slightly vacant look about her.

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  25. Not keen on countryside dancing or music but I’ll put up with either if it involves Daisy Duke (the original one)

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  26. I’m with you. It is indeed extremely cunty.

    By the way, thanks for posting those cuntry dancing videos. Now I’ve hit play on them, YouTube will think I’m into it and serve me up tons of the shit for six months.

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