Lazy Postmen/Women

As you are aware I am retiring in June, so I have been awaiting a missive from the DWP. Well Mrs CuntyMort found the long awaited envelope this morning. Soaking fucking wet outside the back door!!!.

If our CUNT of a post person is reading this, here’s a clue you gormless twat. The fucking letterbox is around the front of Cunty Towers. I will be making an official complaint to the twatting post office.

If you think I am going to buy a post box to put at the back of the towers here’s a hint, wish in one hand and shit in the other see which hand fills first.

Sorry admin that there is no link this has actually happened to myself and her indoors.

Nominated by: CuntyMort

63 thoughts on “Lazy Postmen/Women

  1. You are lucky. I haven’t seen a postman in over a week. A first class post letter sent to me from Holborn, just a couple of miles away on March 22nd has still not arrive here in Kentish Town – and it only cost the sender £1.75 – but look kon the bright side – today it would cost £1.85

  2. Update for you all, the Mrs found said post twat waving letters at her through the kitchen window. She opened the door and told him if he took the path at the side turned left he would find the elusive letterbox there. Luckily I was not at home at the time, I would have given the cunt a mouthful of abuse.
    It took two fucking days to dry the paper enough to read the fucking letter.

  3. No problems with our postie. Anything large that won’t go through the letter box he’ll leave with the next door neighbour. Always stops for a chat. He’s so popular locally that a couple of wifeys make him a coffee while on his round.
    I suppose it’s just the luck of the draw as to whether you get a top bloke like us or a cunt.

  4. havent had a problem with the posty, but there is something wrong with the Amazon drivers around here. zi asked one if he was alrigh the other day. He was completely silent as he handed the package over and i said ‘thanks mate’.

    What a miserable bunch. i never usually say anything to people who don’t appear to like their job but have had to on occasion. Several years ago i was served at a mcdonalds by a girl who clearly didnt want to be there and was insistent i buy a meal rather than just the burger and a drink. i said i really didnt want the chips and they’d go to waste. She seemed really fed up and i quietly remarked ‘if you don’t like working here, there are other jobs’.

  5. If I was given a big bag of letters to deliver I would just chuck the lot in the first skip that I came across.

    Admittedly, I am a bit of a cunt.

    • My postie is a chubby Ukrainian girl and before that it was a miserable Polish cunt. I prefer the good old days when they were all rapîsts.

  6. Our postie is top drawer. Always delivers at the usual time of around 11am in all weathers. Cheery smile and a credit to the company.

    Typically, however, when we chat with him “off the record” he says the people running the depot where he works are a bunch of dopey cunts, some of them never having worked in the postal service before, but straight from university with a degree in pottery making!

    He also gets abused because of late deliveries, or the price of stamps – neither of which he has control over, but he is there as a face2face target by people pissed off with RM and PO.

    We would certainly miss him if he ever quits, which he has threatened to do just lately. Delivering and collection letters and parcels in all weathers ain’t easy, and having to work for a bunch of cunts in their comfy offices (barely any of whom have actually been a postie in a previous life), and then to be shouted at by customers/residents. would certainly make me think “is it worth being a postie when all I get is abused on both sides of the fence!”

    • I agree Techno. The vast majority are decent and honest – and hardworking. There seems to be problems in sorting offices and even with the stamps – I heard on Wireless 4 this morning (0530 news) that some of the new barcode stamps are rejected as counterfeit – even though they were bought at Post Offices. Perhaps W H Smith are making their own – that is where most POs are today (except those in Pak! “convenience” stores)

  7. Postmen in our village are spot on.

    However Parcel Force have lost an item worth 500 quid that I bought overseas and had sent tracked airmail.

    Great tracking til it got to the UK,at which time tracking stopped and the parcel disappeared..

    Just like the dinghy architects then.


  8. Had the very same problem, a parcel left out in the rain. I complained the result of which was..!

    Enquiry Reference # 2401
    Response By E-mail (Terry Hughes) (27/03/2024 12.54 PM)

    I’m sorry to learn that you’re dissatisfied with our previous response.

    I’ve now had the opportunity to review the details of your case and I’m happy that our responses to you were appropriate. (Provide explanation why/reinforce what has previously been said). I’m also confident that we’ve met our commitment to provide a consistent level of customer service, so I won’t be overturning our previous decision.

    I appreciate this is not the outcome you were looking for and I hope my explanation has set out why this decision has been taken. However, if you are unhappy with my response, you can contact the Escalated Customer Resolution team. They can be reached by completing an online form at


    Terry Hughes
    Royal Mail

    Customer B

    • ^ Terry Hughes, ladies & gentlemen a taking-the-party-line jobsworth little cunt ..more chance I will find out today I’m the second coming of Xenu than the escalation team will go against the above.

      On second readthrough, though, … I’m wondering did you just receive a stock-letter rebuttal, where the stupid cunt failed to put a personalised excuse between the brackets thus :

      (Provide explanation why/reinforce what has previously been said).

      Looks like that to me, .. the only personsl service they paid you was to put the #2401 in the opening.

    • That definitely was what I like to call a “cockroach letter” Arch.

      I’m fairly sure it’s just an urban legend, like the dead granny on the roof rack story.

      The General might have heard of it, but I can tell you my version, if you want.

  9. Royal Mail investigating barcode stamps after customers hit with £5 fines.
    The fucking cunts are selling fraudulent stamps then fining us twats for using them.

  10. I just paid £3.29 for a tracked 48 delivery where they pick the parcel up from your house only to find nearly a week later, that the parcel I sent is on its way…………………back to me!!!

  11. My Postie takes turns with other Posties, and I rarely see the same one twice. I can go several weeks before I get a Postie fluent in English. I don’t really mind as the post box is on my way to the shop. I can repost all the other mail that is wrongly delivered to my address. I guess reading ability is not a requirement these days.

  12. Royal Mail losing money over fist
    Post Office and Horizon

    Neither fit for purpose, but run and managed by bellend cunts, quick to pocket a big salary, sack thousands, resign, bag a pension and perhaps even a knighthood for services to cunthood

    • i am in now way suggesting the management havent been cunts, but me brother took early retirement from the prison service and then took a job as a quality improvement manager for royal mail and was seconded to several sorting depots to implement changes to improve the service, and he said it was nigh on impossible to implement any changes because the sorting office staff and posties were so militant and set in their ways there really was nothing he could change without them all downing tools…even though the changes would improve the service to the customer.

      he said it was like something out of the 1970s and having to re train an load of ‘red robbos’ he said the prisoners in the jails he worked in were more co operative.

      he left…very frustrated, after 6 months.

  13. Post office is a fucking mess, not that long ago two deliveries a day, you did not have to sell a kidney to post a parcel, registered Mail was treated like gold bullion. So many of the smaller sorting offices have closed, staff cuts. My mail appears to be pre sorted at some mail centre in Doncaster or somewhere so I receive mail for every same numbered house in the fucking district. Delivery is somewhat abstract early late never.
    Astounded that we had a much much better system in the 1970s. And yes I know it’s all parcels now but even they get faced up on a regular basis. Oh well being an old cunt I suppose I just have to moan and bare it

    • The thing they’re REALLY good at is posting junk mail through your letterbox.

      I wage my own little guerrilla war against them by collecting it up and when I’ve got a wad of it about a couple of inches thick, I shove it back in the nearest post box.

      I encourage other cunters to do likewise. The Post Office can dispose of its own crap.

      Morning all.

      • Despite having a ” No circulars, no leaflets” sign on my front door, I get this, too.

        It’s like that request doesn’t apply to PO/RM, otherwise I have no complaints.

      • Likewise Ron, you can opt out but the form states that it can take up to 3 months to go through, presumably before they completely ignore it.
        Everybody needs to do this

      • That’s a good idea Ron, I shall begin my collection of rubbish post today. I’m thinking of putting it all in a large transparent envelope, with not known at this address in large letters.

      • They’re forced to deliver the crap, the money they get for doing so is the only thing keeping Royal Mail operational.

    • In the old days BB, I remember receiving post that was sent out the same day. Reminded me of the online service in its inception.

  14. It’s my dream job to become a postman, to be honest!

    You drive a van, get plenty of exercise, you can smoke whilst walking, bring a bit of cheer to the lonely and elderly; whistling whilst you do the rounds. It’s one of the final pillars of the community we have left on this island.

    Oh, not to mention wearing shorts. That’s probably the biggest perk of all.

    Parcel Force and DPD can get absolutely fucked, though. The latter lost £300 worth of beer from The Continent a few years back.

  15. I rarely get any post. It could be because of insisting not to have a numbered door. Get more rubbish shoved through, which I think is illegal if not getting an official delivery. Wooden door, no doorbell, metal door knocker and letterbox. Don’t use any delivery service, would sooner go and buy. Neighbour’s use all the online laziness and if not in I’m asked to take in which I gladly refuse when taken unawares. The only modern thing attached to the door, is a spy hole window to the world.

    • It’s not illegal alas and a postie has to deliver if the missive has an address on it, no name necessary, that’s their legal obligation.
      I’ve asked the local flyer tipper to stop, let’s see how that pans out or if a knuckle sandwich would assist their memory.

  16. Our post Lady is great.
    I see that the PO are now threatening to reduce the deliveries to 3 a week. Jeez!

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