Ed Miliband (12)

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Hello Cunters and let me introduce you to the Fuckwitt family – dad Keir, mum Rachel and teenage son Ed.

Sadly Ed is not the full ticket and attends the Westminster Cloud Cuckoo Land Academy (school motto: ‘Not the Real World’). Ed’s teacher, Miss Thunberg, convinced him that the polar bears were drowning which turned Ed into a full-on adolescent eco-warrior with a mental age of 6.

Ed demanded lots of shiny new eco-toys from Santa last Christmas. Dad Keir said Ed could have the toys and couldn’t have the toys, depending on the day of the week. But mum Rachel holds the family purse strings, and she said that Santa couldn’t afford 28 billion for the new toys, most of which wouldn’t work anyway, so Ed had to go without.

To placate him and avoid a teenage strop, she promised another of Miss Thunberg’s demands – to replace the central heating with something called a ‘heat pump’, which is what most people call a ‘fridge’.

The Fuckwitts work at the same place and both are expecting a promotion later this year. But as Rachel Fuckwitt works in Accounts, she knows full well that the place is as good as bankrupt. So they won’t be getting a pay rise, and they won’t be able to afford the ‘heat pump’ either. Besides, who wants to shell out over 10 thousand pounds to be 15C colder every winter?

So what is the cerebrally-challenged Ed going to do when he finds out? I forsee a gigantic teenage tantrum on the horizon. Instead of trying to use his brain, a task for which he is so ill-equipped, perhaps Ed should stick to something simpler, like trying to negotiate his chops around a bacon sandwich.

Ah, on second thoughts …

Politico News

Nominated by: Geordie Twatt 

99 thoughts on “Ed Miliband (12)”

  1. Never liked millipedes🐛.
    Although it suits him, as he looks like a tiny paedophile.

    • He and his bother both Jewish socialist millionaires, changed their communist millionaire fathers will so they didn’t pay so much in taxes.
      Typical hypocritical leftwing cunts.
      Fuck em fuck em all.
      DONT BESMIRCH MILLIPEDES!!

  2. Whilst my initial comment awaits (unnecessary) moderation, try this…
    Never liked millipedes🐛.
    Although it suits him, as he looks like a tiny ǝʅᴉɥdopǝɐd.

  3. Williband has that same dwibble as that chef Oliver. Fat tongue no friends. Also he has an unhealthy yellow hue, probably from thieving oxygen.

    Human waste.

  4. I can’t believe anyone would vote labour knowing they would let every chancer with a story into Britain and letting them bankrupt the country chasing the net zero fantasy.
    As for Ed, he would’nt look out of place licking the window on the special happy bus.

    • I can’t believe anyone would vote Tory, knowing they have let every chancer with a story into Britain and are bankrupting the country chasing the net zero fantasy.

      Vote Reform UK ✖️

      You know it makes sense.

    • I am cunt.

      When I was working in the US of A I saw one of these ‘short buses’ while dandering to the office.
      The poor unfortunates had helmets on while riding the special bus. These helmets had an odd protruding metal hoop to stop them headbanging.
      Having no sense of compassion I laughed my kaks off.

      I am going to hell.

    • They’re ALL chancers.Vote for either of them and we are heading for the toilet bowl ☹️

  6. Like a ground source heat pump, can we bury this inefficient turd..

    After that bacon buttie and the edstone fiasco, you would crawl into a whole and die..

    But he is a politician, so the cunt has no shame..

      • his whole hole? ram a bacon sarnie up it and watch the arse get toxic shock syndrome

      • A little known fact.
        Before they came to blows over which one was going to be leader of the Labour Party, Ed and David would regularly compete to see who could stick the most bananas and bacon sarnies up their reeking arseholes.

  8. Ed Millipede is the invention of Nick Parks.
    Who also created Wallace and Gromit.

    Millipede is one who ended up in the plasticine bin
    Only to emerge in Westminster.

    He’s never met a green policy he doesn’t like.

    He enjoys

    Dinner parties
    Diwali
    Wind turbines
    Hummus
    And rainbows.

    Dislikes
    Internal combustion engine
    Working class
    Gravy
    And swearing.

  9. I just add my twopenneth whilst whiling away my final years by not giving a fuck.

    • why i stopped voting back in the last century, just can’t bring myself to give a fuck

    • I’m reaping all my benefits every week that can’t be touched, regardless whatever happens from now on. Reading your plights makes me glad not to be in that position anymore. Besides I’ll be long gone when this fine country I did whatever I bloody well pleased, is no more.

  11. This time next year, nothing will have changed except there will be more idiots in Parliament (l know it’s hard to believe).

    Ed will be full of great ideas but it won’t make any difference unless he can magic up a dozen nuclear power plants and enough batteries that can store ridiculous amounts of electricity.

    Ah well, at least Labour will stop the boats and deport all the illegals 😂😂😂

    • so don’t vote, i can’t be arsed, not giving them my permission to fuck me up the arse…imagine their faces if it was announced.
      Tories 0
      Labour 0
      Greens -0 they want a recount
      No winners so fuck orf you parasites and take the royals with ya,
      10 Downing becomes a mosque and Jewstin Welby creams his kaks washing shitty muzzy feet
      Someone please switch the oven on.

      • My vote will be seen but not counted.

        It will be the first time I will have spoiled my ballot.

        What we need are millions of spoilt ballots to send a message to the cunts. Not voting at all doesn’t help.

      • They have to count the spoilt ballots I believe…..
        liebour 64 votes
        Cunt-servative 23
        Limp dums 12
        Green goons 7
        Spoilt ballots 75643….
        Either spoil or reform for me 🫡

      • You are right, they get counted but sadly don’t count

        Can you imagine if the returning office declared

        ‘None of the above has been elected as the member for …’

      • The number of spoilt ballots is always announced at the count.

        And the candidates look at every one. It’s a chance to vent your spleen. Our ancestors fought and died for our right to vote or spoil our ballot papers.

        At the 2019 election I left the three main parties in no doubt as to what I thought of them. 😁

      • Our ancestors didn’t fight to vote at all, completely the opposite. The gentry forced it on the working classes to increase numbers in the “rotten borough” system.
        some birds did fight and wasted their fucking time, most women can’t decide who’s the best looking to vote for anyway and have to ask tiktok,
        voting used to be just for property owners, males over 30 only and that’s how it should be as they’re the only ones with a dog in the fight. under 30 and the thick as shit woketards don’t even like Britain, renters are lazy cunts and should be forced to dig coal for 5 years and buy a house, birds-waste of fucking time anyway they only choose the most expensive tie or blueist teeth.

      • Spoil your ballot paper, it gets counted.
        Not that this shower of cunts will take any notice but imagine, if you will, millions of spoilt ballots being displayed on soshul meedja……….
        I did it last time.

        Unless there’s an equivalent of the Monster Raving Looney party, in which case, get them on board.

  12. He looks like he has a touch of the tarbrush about him.
    A wrong’un in my opinion.

  13. We shouldn’t be to hard on Mr Ed..

    His brother is a member of international rescue.. so he probably has alot of built up insecurity.

    OK his brother just drives lady penelope around.. but you have to start somewhere.

  14. O/T I’m afraid. Nominator’s privilege.

    Might I just remind you all that today sees the eradication of all hate in the Islamic Socialist Republic of North Methadonia. Except hatred of white, heterosexual males, preferably English, which is now compulsory. Hail be to the Anointed One.

    And just to clear up any misunderstandings the Jockstasi may have about me, I categorically deny ever having said that
    1. Krankie is a bulldog-faced rug muncher with a sham marriage who took out a super injunction to prevent reporting of her lesbian affair with a female French diplomat.
    2. Hamas Useless is an anti-white racist P*ki who wants to imprison you for saying a bloke in a skirt, heels and lippy is still a bloke.
    3. Jockplod are in the SNP’s pocket and don’t investigate theft, burglary or a certain missing £667,000 to give themselves more time to arrest Rab C Nesbitt for something he said in his own home.
    4. The Jocks have only got themselves to blame for voting in a party intent on turning their country into a rat-infested munchie box of Buckfast, deep-fried Mars bars, hard drugs, desperation and suicide.

    To repeat, I never said any of that.

    • Don’t knock it geordie, with a election coming up the SNP can lock up all their detractors..

      On the negative side, gonna need a big prison.

    • Geordie, where you are (near to the Scottish border) surely you can shout whatever you want, can`t you? Then, when they come to arrest you, just step back over into England whilst dropping your trousers and flashing your arse in a smug way, perhaps with decorative cheeky jockular tattoo.

      • No Sam, you can be arrested in England and handed over to the Jockstasi for interrogation. When they come for me I’m putting on a wig and pink leggings and calling myself Isla Bryson. With any luck I’ll be sharing a cell with J K Rowling and she’ll permit me a bit feel of those magnificent hooters.

  15. I see JK Rowling has issued and arrest her. Mind you the loose change down the back of her sofa will provide for an army of Rottweiler lawyers. You GO girl, show this twat up for the cunt he is.

    • Our kids weren’t enthused by her books and I can’t get on with her political allegiances. But fuck me, I’ve become her biggest fan.

  17. I’d read that Ed Miliband had gone in for a circumcision operation but the surgeon had said “I can’t operate on this man, there’s no end to this prick”

  18. Can’t we push the simpleton in front of an oncoming steamroller?I loathe him passionately.Waste of sperm.

  19. I can’t see how it is humanly possible, but Edward is an even bigger arsehole than his International Rescue brother David. Two cunts for the price of one.

  20. Minitwat was an absolutely ridiculous choice for UK PM. Now we have the choice between Itchy Ballsack or Dame Starmer it seems almost reasonable.

  21. Gas Boiler manufacturers have just scrapped the ‘Levy’ they introduced a year or so ago.

    Basically this current clueless set of puppet cunts said they were going to fine the manufacturers £100 for every gas boiler installed instead of an ‘air source’ heat pump boiler.

    And guess what happened next……the price of every new boiler sold in the U.K. then at the click of your fingers increased by £100 helping to create even more inflation.

    So the clueless puppet cunts finally backed down on the £100 fine threat.

    2/3 years ago Jimmy Krankie introduced ‘rent controls’ on all those nasty capitalist landlords.

    Overnight all the major developers announced they would no longer develop any social housing sites.

    Scotland is quite different to England in terms of new house builds and the proportion that are Open Market and Affordable Rent as the bias in Scotland to the latter is much higher than in England.

    So guess what happened next……. An already chronic housing shortage was exacerbated by a Socialist Government driven by ridiculous dogma rather that sound and fair economic policies.

    Hotels and Guest Houses were the last safety net to house god knows who and here’s the kicker those establishments weren’t covered by the new policy so rates went through the roof.

    If it weren’t so fucked up you could proper piss yourself but as ever it’s always us the tax payers that foot the bill.

  22. See my problem with people like Mr Ed is their lack of conviction..

    Net zero in a country the size of the UK makes no difference on the global scale..

    We all know what the elephant in the room is… over population..

    So Ed I could be persuaded on a heat pump,if…you kill yourself. And your family. Trust me your gene pool won’t be missed..

    And that goes for all net zero loving politicians and luvvies..
    Go on do the mother earth a solid..

    • Easy.As I’ve said countless times send the brown rats back to France.Let them house them feed them etc.Simples.Not difficult.Parasites.

  23. Oven. Until nice and crispy. A cunt of the highest order.

    • They made a movie about that.

      The Glenn Miliband Story starring the famous Jock actor and pretender to the throne, James (Jimmy) Stuart.

    • didn’t they find his body in the chatanookachoochoo with teddy kennedy …or is he another shipping hazard in the channel.

  25. They should establish a Dinghy Tax.

    With a death penalty, confiscation and exile of family members for those who don’t pay.

    Make England Great Again.

    MEGA

  26. OT but report on the news just now that 800 dinghy riders have arrived over the weekend. The very next report was of 268 excess deaths every week amongst people being admitted to hospital due to delays in A&E departments. In other words we are killing off the natives and shipping in gooks to replace them.

    • I must take exception to this bigoted post. Classifying all dinghy riders as Gooks is racist and wrong.

      Some dinghy riders might be Wogs. Some might be Niqqers. Others could be Pakis. And those who don’t fit nicely into any of these categories could simply be classified as generic Shitholians.

      But to paraphrase a famous American; “A gook isn’t always a Chink but a Chink is always a gook.”

    • My goodness gracious.

      It would seem Turdfence took offense and sent my reply to moderation.

    • I heard that report Arfur, sadly ‘the powers that be’ won’t put two and two together….

  27. Miliband is a commie cunt of the highest order.

    Deluded,thick as shit,woke,indoctrinated and a traitor.

    Just another pathetic piece of shit full aboard the Gravy Train.

    Following on from the dung that has pretended to govern us for nigh on thirty years I sincerely hope he carries on with his Climate Emergency..it will hasten the end of all those cunts.

    Watching the cunt swing from a rope then shitting his pants will just about do it.

    A top tier despicable dogma Cunt.

    • Hey UT,

      Milibrand is technically correct. There is a Climate Crisis.

      The unchecked torrent of illegal aliens is polluting your (and our) once fair land(s) and destroying the natural environment and therefore the climate of the indigenous populace.

      This man-made climate disaster means we are in danger of going the way of the dinosaurs and being replaced with a new species…Homo Shitholian.

  30. Don’t vote. It just encourages them into thinking they have legitimacy.

    Whilst a spoilt paper has to be counted by a returning officer, I think a national turn out of less than 10% would focus the political minds and talking heads far more than writing ‘paedo cocksuckers’ all across the ballot paper.

    As for Millipede, what is it with these fuckers.

    Kinnock was the same…. Their policies and ideas were kicked into touch by the electorate, but like the turd that won’t flush or clings onto to your arse hair, they keep on reappearing and spouting more bollocks.

    None of it of any benefit to the indigenous British.

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