Companies Constantly Seeking Validation

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I recently bought a couple of small items, one was delivered by EVRI, they fetched it on time and in fine condition. Nothing more, or less than I expect.

Ten minutes later I get an email, ”how did we do?” fill in this online bollocks and rate the service. Piss off, it’s just a fucking delivery, you did what you were paid to do. The end.

You make a purchase online, same shit, please tell everyone how fucking marvelous we are by rating us on some meaningless website like Trustpilot.

How the fuck can you trust anything on there? Often there’s an inducement to ‘rate’ a service, you know the one, ‘you’ll be entered into a draw to win this, that or the other’.

It’s meaningless bullshit. Now sell me this can of beans and fuck off.

Nominated by: Bertram Cuntatious DCO

64 thoughts on “Companies Constantly Seeking Validation”

    • Agreed. I also despise that disingenuous shite that you see plastered across the back of commercial vehicles, “Well Driven – ring or email Mr Complete Twat to say so”. We all know what it’s really there for so why don’t the two faced cunts say it like it is? Mr Twat should be strapped into one of his firm’s vans and dropped into a scrapyard crusher. ‘Well Compacted – RI fucking P”.

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  2. i recently got a new android, and every few days when I switch it on, across the screen is a ‘would you recommended this phone to a friend’ message. No option given to stop seeing it either as it looks like it’s built in with the phone. So for that reason only, no I fucking wouldn’t. Cunts.

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  4. Wish we could rate our governments and plod force. And that they had to GO once the ratings fell below a certain level.

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  5. I think part of the reason Companies do this is because after Gupti Patel takes and processes your order…and Nandi M’Butu in the warehouse boxes it up and ships it out…to be delivered by Ahmed Habibi…the Company hasn’t got the faintest fucking idea what if anything you may or may not receive.

    It’s the same fucking thing here the States but we have to worry about Porch Pirates too.

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      • Hey Sam,

        I am a cat person.

        My boy Boris is a 24 pound Norwegian Forest Cat and he scares the shit out of any visitors to the Villa.

      • Hey Mort,

        The Castle Doctrine usually, applies to anyone inside your home not outside.

        However, I live in a rural part of Alabama where you could shoot them out in the pasture and it would be ruled justifed.

  6. I got two of these ‘How did we do?’ emails just yesterday.

    Firstly NFU Mutual – well seeing as you’ve just increased my household insurance premium by 25%, fucking appallingly.
    Secondly Specsavers, who have just relieved me of £250 for a new pair of glasses. So equally appalling.

    Stop bothering me you cunts. Go and fuck someone else up the arse.

    Good nom Bertram.

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  7. Got a washing machine from Currys. Bombarded with bullshit from Currys and the machine maker. Get fucked was my review.

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  9. I don’t know what’s wrong with the human race nowadays..
    People constantly fishing for likes and praise.. get a life you sad cunts..

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  10. Annoying as this undoubtedly is, companies (especially those ones that are accredited to some quality standard or indeed their own procedures ) must measure performance . The information is then used to improve the quality of service. The reason they offer potential “prizes” is because no one bothers to fill them in or respond. So, when audited they can say “we are trying our best but people dont respond” so it all becomes nothing more than a box ticking exercise.
    the reality is the performance measuring does very little to improve anything . NHS, delivery companies,phone companies , local councils, and any other survey you have to fill in requires somebody to do something with the data which invariably they dont.
    i deal with a number of suppliers who send me surveys on How Well did we do? I even put scathing comments on or rate everything as poor still nothing changes and when I go somewhere else I get the usual “why have you gone some where else?” bollocks “what did we do wrong?” “how can i get the business back?”
    Cunts the lot of em

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      • 🤣🤣

        “She was a good shag, but got cross when I wiped my cock on her curtains” – Mike Hunt. London.

  12. I of course always leave a glowing review,
    I’m very big hearted.

    Q: how did our driver do?

    A: capable of carrying out simple tasks with adult supervision,
    Barely any damage.

    Q: on your recent proctol examination how was your experience?

    A: we both achieved orgasm.

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  14. The only reason I bother doing reviews for Evri is that I am sure our local courier lady has som element of her pay based on performance. She is nice and works hard, so I don’t mind doing it.

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  15. More like Cuntpilot!

    I have seen that ‘trusted’ app take a supplied 1 out of 5 rating – zero never an option of course – on hotel accommodation. (Spite at the app, and the company for using it, and esp. for sending the email before I was out of the fucking lobby, even).

    Rated at the time in facial expressions, left to right ; from a delighted looking one in place of 5, to a mildly ‘not delighted’ face in place of the 1…

    Anyways. 1’s across the board from me.. Eventually ”Thank you for your replies” …. “Generating result based on your input” …

    “3” … so they awarded the place a 60% review ; 3 out of 5 (suddenly, stars were back) from someone who had clearly made a 20% or 1-star one. Repeated this for the next few days ; same every time.

    Pretty sure five 5’s would have STAYED five if given.

    Data manipulation aimed at the uninitiated, and stranger(s)-trusting simpletons.

    Not worth a single solitary fuck.

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  16. Government websites are no different. Go on you gov and at the end they ask you to rate the site…….well, considering there is no other site in the world i could have gone to, you have a distinct lack of competition, so even if i rated one star you wouldnt give a fuck as where else am i going to go?

    And considering the people who designed the site would be on an eyewatering salary far more than my uneducated pittance, should it really need me to tell you what you are doing wrong……and if there is, your are paid to recognised that. Otherwise if you can’t then you dont deserve to be doing the job.

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  17. When I got the big C NHS asked would I recommend this service to friends and family, why ? If I didn’t where else would you go for treatment fucking Halford’s. Pointless waste of fucking money and time , never ever fill a satisfaction survey , bollock the fuckers face to face much more fun.

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    • I had this after a visit to A+E, thought it was hysterical.

      No, I’d say to my family and friends, when you’re lying bleeding in the ambulance, ask to be taken to Aberdeen A+E instead, it’s got 4.7 stars on TrustPilot.

      What a pile of cunt.

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  18. I can imagine the reviews at he Hannah Ingham-Moore spa retreat.

    “Paid these cunts £5K, turned up for my spa day and the building has disappeared”.

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  19. The moaning old ungrateful grandmother was saved, but you couldn’t save my porn collection. That was to the only Fire Brigade there is.

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  20. Also .. yeah … the unthinking majority seem to think real world ‘3’ is a ‘5’.

    As in a job done/service supplied is – if you think about it – the LEAST one should have to expect when paying for a service or item.

    Nowadays, 5 stars is a job ‘just’ done .. no room for better than an average job.

    e.g.

    Courier delivered item in good condition on time – 5 stars. No. A courier’s responsibility is to deliver an item undamaged, on time. That’s standard. A little above standard might be .. it was threatening to rain & the courier wrapped my cardboard-envelope item in a plastic bag before leaving it where I’ve said it’s fine to leave parcels here. THAT bit of effort (true story here, but with the postman, lately) … might elevate a 3 to a 4. Roughly speaking. I don’t care, really.

    But in general, vacuous types think an overpriced coffee handed over is worth 5. An example of how low standards have become.

    As Hobbes said to Calvin “So the trick is to lower everyone’s expectations to a point where they’re already met?”

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  21. Way out here in the ‘far east’ we even get a ‘experience check’ when we use the public toilets at the airport. Sadly, we cannot leave a comment as in Q: Please rate your experience. A: Fucking devastating shit! Must have been the Taco Bell meal last night! Sorry about the mess and stench of death!

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    • They have similar when leaving the bogs in Heathrow T5.

      Please rate your ‘visit.’ Sadly there’s only a simple ‘smiley’ button to press. There should be these buttons;
      Shite clods floating in a river of piss.
      Used nappy with vape inserted into green slurry.
      Green gobs (with blood lumps) left by chinaman on door handle.
      ….

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  22. I like Thai food.

    We went to a Thai restaurant in a neighbouring town which was recommended to us.

    After the starter a man walked over and asked me why I left one of the fish cakes.
    I asked him who the fuck he was and he told me that he was the restaurant owner.
    I told him to go away because we were eating.

    He came back after we had finished and uninvitedly sat at our table with a clip board.

    I played along.

    He asked us how our meal was and I told him that it wasn’t Thai.
    Nothing like Thai.

    He then started arguing with me that he had lived in Thailand, his wife was Thai and the food was authentic.

    I asked him why he wanted an opinion if all he was going to do was argue.

    He said that there were dishes other than the ones we ordered which were more traditionally Thai.

    I told him that we would never find out as we had no fucking intention of ever eating there again.

    The place is still open so someone must like his food.

    The cunt.

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  23. IsAC Satisfaction Survey
    Please complete. Your opinions matter to us.

    https://is-a-cunt.com/2024/03/haemorrhoid

    1. Did this photograph
    a) make you vomit?
    b) cause you to micturate with mirth?
    c) made you faint?
    d) remind you of someone you know?
    e) cause you to become aroused?

    2. On the basis of this photograph, would you recommend ‘Is A Cunt’ to a friend or family member?

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  24. You did a wonderful clean job. Not a trace of the filth or sound. That was to the Hitman, for seeing off the next-door neighbour’s.

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  25. You put my mouth on my forehead, swapped my nose for one of my ears, said an ungrateful patient at The Picasso Plastic Surgery Organisation.

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  26. When the wife and I went to Tenerife recently, we got through security and there was a ‘rate your experience in security’ machine, something like from ‘excellent’ to ‘very poor’.

    I mean, are they having a fucking larf or something? ‘Excellent’? This is airport security we’re talking about.

    Morning all.

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    • You could’ve put very poor for not finding your drug stash. Probably not a good idea really, after a delayed flight back home.

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  29. In ignorance, I chose a father/Son pair of double glazing fitters who were in the ‘Trustpilot’ scheme to supply and fit a patio door. They totally Fucked it up. It was pissed,( I offered my spirit level) can’t lock it without a fight and the handle clashed with the room dado-rail which he was compelled to chisel off causing more damage to the surrounding plastics’
    The father boasted to me that they had satisfied ‘Trustpilot’ criterion by having family members recommend them.
    It’s a scam:

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  30. Sometimes, Amazon ask me if I can “help” another customer with my answer to their questions.

    I haven’t heard from them lately, I wonder why?

    👿👿👿👿👿

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