The Green Alliance

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Oh dear, the wheels are coming off the electric car. Only the deluded wokeists are buying them now. I wonder why.

Well here’s Green Alliance with the answer. No, I’ve never heard of them either, but apparently it’s a ‘think tank’ demonstrating a remarkable inability to think. Falling EV sales are all the fault of Mr Bean for some article he wrote for the Grauniad, according to the great minds at Green Alliance.

So nothing to do with the price, rate of depreciation, cost of insurance, limited driving range, lack of charging infrastructure, charging time, domestic charging being impossible in nearly half of UK homes, battery fires that can’t be extinguished and the environmental catastrophe resulting from cobalt mining by child slaves in Congo.

Never mind. Green Alliance chose the right forum to air their views – the House of Lords, where one assumes those present were all either comatose or dead.

Daily Express

Nominated by Geordie Twatt.

80 thoughts on “The Green Alliance”

  1. In the People’s Caliphate of Britainistan only Mullahs and politicians of the “right persuasion” will be allowed to use cars.

    Oh and paki taxi drivers of course..

    The rest of us will walk,those who convert to Islam or give their house to a muzzie foreign looters might be offered the chance to share a bicycle once a week.

    Fuck them all.

      • Great link Barry. There is some right tasty crumpet there. We could run a hot or not sweepstake. I would mind having a go on Helena Bennett, she looks very minxy.

    • A right collection of pasty-faced vegans if ever I saw..

      Brilliant comment Baz and 100% percent correct. After reading your post and looking at the link I was laughing out loud.

    • Mmm…

      A lot of ‘advisers’, ‘senior advisers’ and ‘heads of’ in there. Looks like a nice cushy sinecure for Islington champers types.

      Who are they anyway? A charity?

  3. This reminds me of why we all supposedly voted for Brexit. Because of a message on a bus! No – the electorate thought and made a considered decision.

    Rowan Bean was merely voicing what many other consumers, who are not stupid, have already concluded. He did not swing the decision. EV’s are a busted flush and the consumer is intelligent enough to realise that disappearing tax breaks, expensive maintenance, inconvenience and lack of roadside charging infrastructure make them a losing proposition.

    Elites are unable to accept that ordinary people are not stupid and can think for themselves.

    Cunts.

    • They told us to buy Diesel, oh shit.
      They encourage us to buy Electric.. but they’re shit

      A starter poem for 10!

  4. Never needed one of these contraption, from walking in front of, to the present day. Remind me what they are called again.

  5. You know who drive leccy cars?

    Cunts.

    Cunts drive leccy cars.

    I wouldn’t have one given me.
    I’d be embarrassed.

    I’m all for Diesel engines.

    If you tell me that’s responsible for the death of 3 African children
    I’ll want a engine capable of killing six African children.

    Your average leccy car driver is a university lecturer, white, vegan and called Neil.
    Neil’s a fuckin hippies name.

    I hope the only thing they retrieve from the burning wreckage is his fuckin sandals.🖕

  6. Electric cars will go the way of the poll tax. You list all the well known problems in your excellent nom Geordie, but I would throw in the one that really is their death knell. We do not have a decent battery. We never will have. The laws of physics decree that as you increase capacity and reduce charging times the battery will become ever more volatile and dangerous. Enormous effort has been expended in research on overcoming this problem without any useful return. The Victorians recognised this and turned to the internal combustion engine as the next step up from steam. Just yesterday figures were released which showed that an electric scooter or bicycle self- immolates in London alone every two days, usually inside someone’s home.

    • Blimey, Sam, I’ve never seen sub-Saharan algebra before. There’ll be a Nobel Prize in there for you somewhere. Are you distantly related to the Sam Beaus that built Stonehenge and discovered penicillin?

    • Hmmm. If we all ate hydrogen would we excrete just water?
      Smoking a 🚬 might be a tad dodgy though.

      • A good point Sam.

        I would be interested to see what happens to the fuel cell in a collision.

        Could be nothing. Could be that a high speed rear end shunt leaves a smoking crater half a mile wide.

        I for one shall be requesting that such research is conducted in Lutonabad and Bradistan before being allowed into civilised areas.

    • future are the new lab fuels they are developing. cost a lot per litre at the moment but will come down in due course. this lab petrol will allow all current and future cars to run on it with no modifications and not emissions. saves all the old cars, current cars and will make electric cars obsolete. formula one will be using it in the next year or so. just google it.

    • Hydrogen worked well for the Hindenburg (at least for most of the flight) and I see no reason that ist shouldn’t be used now.

      (It’s actually a great idea if they can make it safe; if not, can we fit hire scooters with hydrogen engines and thin the population out a bit?)

  9. I often use the services on the M6 and always find some amusement at the number of EV drivers queuing up at the charge points, as I pull in have a brew / sarnie, go for a leak, top up the diesel, set of again and the Dopey buggers haven’t even got plugged in yet..

    Eeeeeww aaaawww…

    • i do love the way ev’s in this respect are sod to us when it comes to charging time at motorway services. its always ‘it give a family time to have a break…a cup of coffee and a sandwich’ yeah, right so on top of having to wait an hour or so, you are also encouraged to spend 30 or 40 extra for a family of 4 while you wait…bet thats not factored in to the running costs.

      idiots

      • because the weekdays are just full of families on excursions and they all want to waste an hour of the journey time fuwling their cars.

        Pure guff.

  10. Westminster wants normal cars banned and everyone to buy these immensely expensive ticking time bombs instead?

    Course they do,it’s easy to buy an electric vehicle when you can claim it on exes..

    Their heads should be on the end of pikes.

    Cunts.

  11. I did a 2 hour drive on a motorway here a few weeks ago.

    There was 3 traffic jams.

    3 electric cars had caught fire.

    There will be further hold ups when the road gets repaired.
    Those things burn fiercely.
    They melt the tarmac.

    I recently brought a new car.
    It had to have an electric engine as well as a diesel one. EU regulations.
    So it was a lot more expensive than it should have been.
    The salesman tried to convince me that it would be a lot better on fuel.
    I don’t see how, when your car is a lot heavier with the extra engine.

    I do a lot of driving.
    I have noticed absolutely no fucking difference in the consumption of this car and the last one I had.
    And it never drives in purely electric mode.

    • I replaced my car like for like with a new one. The old was 1600 petrol. The new 1400 turbo hybrid which did 2 less to the gallon than the old same model.
      I’m as green as fuck.

  12. It pisses me off that in these political agenda manipulated times that all of the car ads on TV are for electric ones being driven by non-whites. I wonder why my grandad and later my dad bothered to lift a finger in two world wars.

    • Most advertising seems to be pitched at the feeble minded Isabel and TV adverts for cars are amongst the worst. Typically they show an ethnic driving a left hand drive car in some foreign territory. Reading the small print across the bottom of the screen gives the whole game away. Vehicle shown not available in UK, Vehicle shown has accessories at extra cost, mpg figures are from laboratory tests and may not be achievable in real life use are typical statements. They’re wasting their advertising budget on me anyway. My twenty-two year old 170bhp V6 is fast, reliable, has no touch screen and most importantly is tremendous fun to drive. Won’t be replacing it any time soon.

      • There was an old Fiat 500 advert which showed them being driven under the channel, with the disclaimer that you shouldn’t really try this.

      • Agreed, Arfur. I had a manual box 1.8 petrol Passat until two months short of its 20th birthday which would have been in October 2019. I loved that car. It never let me down once in all of those years and even had the same exhaust from new. Then a milk float backed into it and it was written off. I’ve got a manual 2.0 diesel A4 now, with the screen and all the other OTT and useless bollocks, but I’d much rather have the old Passat.

      • My 2 litre turbo diesel transporter has just passed its 16th birthday and still rips over 200 bhp. The mapped out egr and dpf smoke out tailgaters if they can keep up.
        Lovely stuff.

  13. Sirs:

    For laughs ask an electric car owner where the electricity comes from.

  14. Best buy a Ford Mustang V8 and drive up and down outside Caroline Lucas house for an our or two the miserable cow.

  16. Strangely enough I’ve been looking at car rental for my trip back to dear old Blighty, and bugger me, they’ve got EV with the usual companies at the airport, but get this. A fucking big EV Volvo station wagon is £700 for 21 days. The Tesla EV……….£13,000!! Are they fucking mad or what? Who the fuck would pay that sort of dosh for such a wank car?? Utter cunts!! I bet the fucking tires perish before someone rents one!!

  18. As we all know, science is in its infancy.
    One day they’ll invent an engine that runs on stupidity, the most abundant element in the universe.
    Until then, EVs and The Green Alliance can fuck right off.

  19. mate of mine was an areal rep for a company with ‘green cerdentials’ to confirm this they changed all company cars from diesel to all electric. my mate used to leave for work at 7am every morning, would then rep his area and try and be home for dinner around 6pm. he would do around 250 miles a day, which meant his new electric car would just make it home with some charge left. he would then put it on the home charger ready for the mornings full charge. would take around 14 hours.

    which was fine, but soon realised if he didnt get it on charge as soon as he got home it wouldnt be charged up enough ready for 7am the following day…..which meant he or his wife and family couldnt use the car in the evening, so he had to go out and buy a used petrol fiesta as a run around for a vehicle to use from 6pm onwards.

    fucking bollocks electric cars.

    even if they eventually made electric cars that you can fill up a full tank of juice the same time as a petrol car and give you the same range as a fully filled petrol or diesel car i wouldnt buy one…i like driving, i like controlling an engine, driving should be a physical and visceral experience…not with the same degree of feedback and input as a bumper car.

    if fucking hate the way cars are going

    • You’re a man after my own heart Chuff. Trouble is that you are not supposed to enjoy driving any more and if you admit to doing so the wokies have you down as being almost as far beyond the pale as a kiddy fiddler. As for a range of 250 miles, it’s bad enough that you are grounded outside work hours (although the greens would regard that as good for you) but in my job I exceeded that mileage regularly in a normal working day. It wasn’t uncommon to do 500 miles in a day. The job would be completely impossible in an EV. The customers would ask where the fuck you’d been and you’d be out sixteen hours a day instead of eleven. As you say, electric cars are bollocks.

  20. More info on the marvellous Green alliance..
    41 employees, one on £110,000. Two on £70 to £80 grand, and two on £60 to £70 grand..

    Good news is two vacancies in the £35,000 range.. bad news you have to work a back breaking 35 hours a week..

    And only 25 days plus bank Holidays a year.. Fucking slave drivers..
    I’ve torn my CV up in protest..

  22. Bollocks.
    I’m about as woke as the bastard child of Bernard Manning and Margaret Thatcher and I bought one. It’s fast as fuck, costs me 2p to fill up, never needs a service and prewarms ready for my not veggy hairy arse in the morning. Don’t assume everyone with an EV is some tree hugging cunt who doesn’t know what gender he is. I could not give a fuck about trees or fluffy fucking bunnies but I can do basic mental arithmetic on my fuel bill and tax return.

      • No one can do a 350 mile run at 70mph on anything these days. Thanks to all the roadworks, jams and assorted cunts on the road, you can barely go a mile without having to slow down to a crawl or stop.

    • Exactly so Gloria. Mate of mine has owned an Audi hybrid for a few years now. Good for his sixty mile round trip to his office and back but he admits that when he goes elsewhere that’s any distance he’s running on petrol because trying to charge it away from home is a massive fucking hassle. When his wife uses it at night she fills the tank on her way out because she’s not interested in sitting alone in the car for any period while it’s being charged.

  24. Anything containing the word green or smart is bound to be total shit run by cunts. Fuck em, fuck em all.

    • Think I’ll stick with the Hummer Trump Mobile! A cunt to drive and driven by cunts, but fucking nails when it comes to bullying EV driving n*nces

      PS: The management recognizes that not all EV drivers are n*nces or vegans, especially FatJon who is probably a very nice man who poses no threat to children, small furry animals or vegans.

  28. Net Zero is completely pointless unless its a planetary aim, even then the equivalent concentration of greenhouse gases that aren’t CO2 contribute more in teems of heating (excluding water vapour).

  29. My 1973 3500 litre V8 petrol-engine Rover is very green.

    Think I’m kidding? The whole life carbon output of that vehicle is a fraction of other more ‘green’ vehicles.

  30. Back before a costly divorce intervened I used to drive a 6 litre V12. The brutal power, the ferocious engine roar, the endless amounts of torque that kept you lighting up the tyres well into three figures were all a viscerally thrilling sensation that never became boring.

    But BY FAR the best part of the ownership experience was pumping 70 litres of unleaded into it every hundred miles or so, knowing that no electric car came close to that beauty when it came to making a difference to the environment. I reckon I’m creditably involved in one or two of our recent warm summers, and it makes me feel great to know I’ve done my bit for climate change.

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