Wasters and other Pond Life

There seem to be loads of them about the town nowadays. Wasters aka scratters, ratbags, jakies, toerags and scutters.

They’re easy to recognise. Likely they’ll be wearing something like soiled trackies and grimy trainers, and they’ll display a distinct lack of familiarity with soap and water. They’ll often wander about rather haphazardly, with a wasted, vacant expression, suggestive of persistent use of drugs and drink. By nature their behaviour is anti-social; they’ll never have made a positive contribution to society, and never will. With them it will always be take.

I have no compassion at all for these scruffy nuisances, and I’m therefore very happy to see any of them get a bit of their just desserts for once, especially when it involves a bit of ‘scrote on scrote’ action. Allow me to share with you the following heartwarming episode.

The location is Hull, where a couple of tossers have attempted to board a school bus by using the emergency door opener. An argument breaks out, with the male of the genus ‘cuntus scrattus’ squirting liquid at the driver and calling him a cunt. A child on the bus is heard to state ‘he spat at him in the face, the little tramp’. After attempting to board a second time, the scuzzer and his female companion then stand in front of the bus, gesticulating and shouting at the driver.

Enter stage left ‘Scooter Man’, a bald, one-legged geezer on a mobility scooter, initially hailed as ‘a hero’ for tackling the two cunts when they get back onto the pavement. Our Action Man repeatedly yells ‘get out of my town you cunts’ while punching the male in the mush and running over the female. Hilariously, she holds on to her mobile phone and continues speaking while pinned under the scooter;


The icing on the cake however is that it turns out that bald, one-legged ‘Gangsta Grandad’ is a notorious trouble-maker himself, with a rap sheet of convictions for anti-social behaviour, inc. a nine-month spell in the slammer for affray. Perhaps he might take his own advice, and get outa town himself.

Absolute comedy gold I’d say. If these useless cunts are going to be a persistent drain on society, the least they can do is provide us with a bit of entertainment. Go on, have a look. I think it’ll warm the cockles of your heart on a cold night.

Daily Mail

Nominated by: Ron Knee

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