Dead Cunts at Number 1

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So it’s a rush once again for the Christmas Number One single – but at least this year it’s not likely to be the atrocious LadBaby. No this year, it’s a fight between the dead cunts…

So will it be Denny Laine (Mull of Kintyre) or Shane McGowan (The Fairytale of New York)?

There’s form for this of course. If you want a number one then you need to die first. I give you in no particular order : Freddie Mercury, Johnny Cash, David Bowie, Michael Jackson, George Micheal and no doubt many more – all assured of the number one spot for no other reason than some cynical shit of a record company cashed in on the grief of fans (sad cunts, but that’s another story)

Well I’m happy to put up with being a nobody if it means I have to die first to get a hit record.

Anyway, my version of the Pogues Christmas number one is, in my humble opinion, not only better but more accurate.

Nominated by Chas Crane

93 thoughts on “Dead Cunts at Number 1”

  1. The Top 40 has been made worthless, due to streaming. 14 No.1s for Ed Sheercunt tells us all we need to know.

    And the current Top 10? It’s mostly all old Xmas shite.
    Wham!, that Carey woman, the Pogues, and even Shakey.

    I recall when over a million people actually went out and bought that Slade record in 1973 at Christmas. But now any old crap can re-enter the charts because of the ridiculous system that its has now.

    Mind you, if Taylor Swift did a video in a saucy Santa outfit, that might improve ,y grumpy view somewhat.

  3. I would find it perfectly acceptable if Ed Sheercunt got to No.1 this Christmas.

    But only if he snuffs it first, of course.

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