Amazon Marketplace (5) and Chinese Tat

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I first noticed this during the pandemic, when lockdown forced me to buy odds and ends online stuff like gardening gloves, wire, plastic food containers, some art supplies/stationery.

Now it seems to have blown up to endemic proportions. Half the more generic stuff on there seems to be Chinese, even crayons for the niece.

I’m afraid to buy toys for her on Amazon now; broken colostomy bags repurposed as plush toys, filled with polystyrene beads and some moribund Chinaman’s pink and grey phlegm.

Something scooped from the beach in Macau and repainted to resemble a turtle with lead paint.

Seriously, I think we’ve had just about enough rubbish exported from that country over the past few years, especially those little sacks of fat, starch and genetic material made in Wuhan.

(I’m not Martin)

Cherrypicks Reviews

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

58 thoughts on “Amazon Marketplace (5) and Chinese Tat”

  1. If it can be made in the UK then it should be. Watched Dragons Den series for Yonks, and the greedy bastard “dragons” were all for selling our jobs to the Chinks.

    • Quite right. Why don’t the elite promote this policy as it will cut down on transport and help ‘save the planet’ (sic)?
      Because they know the climate crisis is bollocks, and they want to maximise profits by flogging us Chinese tat.

    • The Chinese produce nothing but cheap shite

      Stuff that goes in Christmas crackers.

      and viruses.
      they aren’t bad at viruses to be fair.

      eBay is all chinky tat.
      Almost impossible to buy anything that isn’t Jackie Chan.

      They can fuck right off.

  2. Charlie Chan has millions of cunts who will work 12 hours a day for a bowl of rice and a kick up the arse. Our answer is to import thousands of Peacefuls to do the same for us.
    Unfortunately Mohammed has other ideas .

  3. You start off with “Chinky Chinky Chinaman” and take it from there, making up rubbish as you go along, just like their tat.

  4. The Chinese are talented in making replicas of western good, e.g. cars which could have longevity competition with a prawn sandwich.

    Utter cheap Chinkshite.

    • Unfortunately a seed culture of SARS-CoV-2 will set you back another $3939.01.
      Still, I suppose it’s a pretty cheap way of destroying all Western economies.

  6. I like their kung po chicken sorry bat, oh and bruce lee. Other than that, me no likey..

    • Bruce Lee is a yank ( born san fransisco ) so we can let him pass, but other than that, top nom regarding chinky rubbish.

  7. Stumbled upon a Chinese lady in this block of London flats I was staying in a few years back, who didn’t speak hardly a word of English. I was rubbing my hands. Had her doing all sorts. It was like having a wind-up doll. It came about that I told her I’d teach her English for free and she fell for it. Had her doing and saying the most despicable things. Only took advantage on her terms and it worked well for both of us. She spoke and giggled like a young girl without having to teach her, just like in the films. It came to an end after a few years when the flats were sold off for redevelopment and kept in touch with dirty phone calls, but it wasn’t the same as the real thing as you would imagine. She would do all the things the Chinese did, like pissing in the street, wanking me off on busses and any other public places you could care to imagine. “I love you long time” was often mentioned.

  8. We have outsourced everyfucking thing. Firstly because Thatcher didnt give a fuck about industrial Britain, ie outside the S East. Then in the fatuous pursuit of an illogical net zero. CO2 doesnt count when generated in China etc.

    We are ruled by cunts and the choice is other cunts.

  9. When I was a child, anything that had “Made in Hong Kong” on it was a sure sign of it being utter crap.
    Sams then, same now.

      • You buy lubbish phone flom China. You gorra expec’ it no perfec’.
        No leefunds.
        You no rike Chinkchilla ploduct, you no buy Chînkchilla ploduct.

    • I still remember shitty toys from the 70s with “made in hong kong”. At least it was British back then.

  10. As long as it pisses off the Eco Hippies I’m happy for the little yellow bastards to have at it.

    I even own a Chinese made wristwatch..and its jolly nice indeed.

    Flied Lice anyone?

    fuck off.

  11. The cunts in Government have got most of the country on bennies and, sadly, Chinese crap is all that they can afford. Colourful crap can make kids happy, I suppose. Aunty will not care if her new gloves or scarf comes from Shanghai and only cost £3.99.

    In addition, Chinese crap is keeping food on the table for people in the delivery industry, and at Amazon, freight airlines and so on.

    I cannot get onboard with this cunting. The fuckers who have driven the country into the gutter by destroying our manufacturing base and the retail sector are the real cunts. It has taken decades and it was fully pre-meditated. Fuck off.

    Good morning, all.

    • ‘T’he cunts in Government have got most of the country on bennies and, sadly, Chinese crap is all that they can afford.”

      Not around my way. You must be from a particularly hard-up part of the country.

  12. PS and OT, I understand there have been riots in Yorkshire that are not being reported, anyone have any more on this?

    • There is a Bradford drug peddlers link to the recent riot in Auchinleck that the papers etc are not keen to report on.

      Perhaps some magic carpet cunts are involved..

  13. The little slitty eyed bastards are buying up every bit of property they can get their mitts on in London right now.

    Bear in mind that only the ‘good’ little communists are allowed to leave rinky dink land and own property abroad. These cunts must be the cream of the commie crop.

    None of the ignorant cunts speak Ingrish and expect our site site team to speak mandarin. this has actually been a complaint from the thick cunts.

    The devious little fuckers are also busily taking their apartments to bits, looking to reverse engineer all of the clever stuff…Then calling in a complaint that the ventilation system is broken, only for us to find it disassembled on the kitchen top with some grinning chink swearing that ‘it just fell apart’.

    Lying little ricebowl haircut cunts.

      • One hopes O Great Allfather that you had a hearty meal of Surströmming, Hákarl, black bread, cabbage and pale ale beforehand. Alternatively, shit in their microwave and turn it on for 99 minutes.

      • I remember one day last week I had carbonara washed down with a gallon of Guinness for dinner.

        The pungent gaseous emissions the following day were reminiscent of swamp water, sewage treatment works and Frenchman’s breath.

        Truly fucking horrendous. it felt like I was farting lava.

        Checked on one of the fridges that I top dressed this morning.

        Still rancid.

        Can’t wait for the pangolin scoffers to move in. 🤣

  14. I don’t think that they are available on Amazon but the Chinese make the best chips.

    Not the soggy shite you buy in the local fish and chip shop.

  16. I saw a vid of a Russian car mechanic taking apart a brand new Moscovich.
    All of it made in China,bet that’s safe for Ivan to drive…..

  17. As far as I am concerned they can stick their tat up their bottom holes.As a country we are finished 😞

  18. And keep the fuck out of our Nuclear Power Station building 👎👎
    Me and Mrs Bamboo buy Japanese for obvious reasons Good Morning 👍👍

    • I laid off the booze for the last 18 months and used the money I saved to treat myself to a new amp and cd player. Rotel, a decent Japanese brand. They turned up last week. Made in fucking China.

      • Even Linn and my fave Arcam have gone there now.Not sure about Naim or Bowers-Wilkins though ? UK stereo gear was seriously good once upon a time.

  19. What pisses me off more than most things is seeing Christmas cards with ‘Made in China’ in small print on the reverse. I go out of may way and often pay a little more to buy British ones, as I do when I find anything made in China. Not always possible, but I try. That these world domination seeking, unprincipled and irreligious Bond villains seek to profit from Christmas does not surprise me. First class cunts! As for the so called Nine Dash Line, just tell them to fuck off and stick it up their Belt and Road Initiative arses.

    • I ordered an ironing board cover on Amazon, it was only afterwards I realized it was coming from China. I ordered on November 17th and it’s scheduled to arrive between the 6th and the 12th of December. It had better be ok or they can have it back.

      • It really annoys me when I don’t notice that the delivery is timed in weeks when I need something. At the same time I wanted something for DIY, only small, would fit into an envelope. A place up the road sold it for £4.99 plus £5.99 for delivery. Robbing bastards. I bought it on eBay. £3.99 and free delivery from China. Got it in a few days. This country doesn’t have a chance.

      • And eat dogs.For that alone they fail as human beings.Morrisey might have been onto something.Too much pork and dog can’t be a good thing ?

    • Expect further “lockdowns,Tik Tok dancing nurses and snouts at the trough”. Bollocks and double bollocks to the shit weasels in Westminster.The Who? can piss off and jump off a cliff.Twats.

      • I look forward to the public ignoring any new lockdown/mask mandate and the fatso plod trying to enforce it.

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