Royal Mail (13)

I nominated these useless fucking shitstains a few months ago with regards a massive 15% increase in the price of a 1st class stamp (from 95p to £1.10)

Well guess what, these clueless fuckers have done it again by announcing a 14% increase in 1st Ass Stamps as of 2nd October. Therefore it will cost £1.25 to send a fucking letter to some cunt compared to a few months ago when it cost less than a quid.

The justification? Because the Royal is a loss-making business with letter deliveries still falling to record lows as people go digital. Therefore the geniuses at RM come up with the fab idea of ramping up prices to see if that will entice customers to use their services again!

The CEO of Royal Mail, Simon Thompson, earns a basic wedge of around £500k and a pension set at 13.5% of his basic salary. He will also receive productivity bonuses, which I presume means he’ll get sweet fuck all!

Proof positive that being a useless incompetent twat who’s idea of boosting a failing business is upping prices to customers, reaps massive financial rewards!


money saving expert

Nominated by Technocunt.

56 thoughts on “Royal Mail (13)

  1. Just to add to my nom, those same fuckers have now added 2 business surcharges to businesses:-

    A “peak” surcharge for letters and parcels for business account customers of 5p for letters and 10p for parcels (in addition to the existing delivery charge), Effective from mid-November to 7th January.

    In addition there will be a 2p “green” surcharge as of 6th November with no end date. (all to do with decarbonising or some such bollocks. And once they introduce this form of tax it is unlikely to go away. But instead will be bumped up and up and up).

    This means the extra costs will probably trickle down to the hard pressed customer – just in time for Christmas.

    Royal Mail are absolute Cunts of the Highest Order.

    • And you can bet that even if RM profits go down the toilet, the shitstains at the top will get massive payouts for ‘managing’ the business ‘in challenging circumstances’. They always, always look after themselves.

      Afternoon all.

    • I like Royal Mail. The world’s first postal service. It shouldn’t have been privatised. I’m going to be banned from this site, aren’t I?

  2. I would imagine Tosser Thompson’s “productivity bonuses” will result in him having to sell his wife and children to Mr. Cunt Engine for “scientific research”, so he can repay into the system. Then, if Tosser finds his life unbearable, he can sell his own offal organs to the local Fu Man Chow House.
    I remember when 2nd and 1st class stamps were 3p and 4p, and I am under 65…

  3. I like our postie..and the local post office,it’s run by a Stanley but he’s not oven ready.

    The Royal Mail as a company however is managed by a right set of hopeless cunts.

    They’ve not proved to be agile enough to move with the times,maybe the staff are militant but I can’t be arsed to look into it so I shall just endorse this cunting as RM don’t know their arse from their elbow.

  4. I’m obviously missing some point, somehow.

    How can the CEO of a business that is, apparently, on the bones of its arse get paid such a ludicrous salary, and bonuses, and a pension that would make a Civil Servent turn green?

    • I know loads of posties and like them all.

      They have to subsidise meagre pay with the contents of kids birthday cards and Christmas cards.

      Lots of famous people were posties too

      Russell Brand,
      Truthseeker and alleged rapist

      Raol Moat, Tyneside headtheball and romantic

      Rudolf Hess,
      Liberal and inspiration for Jeremy Corbyn

      Jack the Ripper,
      Eastender Chirpy chappie, and budding doctor.

      It attracts its share of naughty boys but most are decent hardworking theives

  5. That useless cunt Simon Thompson is no longer CEO of Royal fail. However he is the root cause of all the current Royal fail issues.

  6. There’s no guarantee with first class delivery. I remember when we had 2 deliveries a day.

    I knew an artist friend who would draw the stamps on himself.

    A lady friend who remembered having stamps too long would add a couple of cheap stamps to cover the cost, even though the price wasn’t on the stamp.

  7. If I thought a decent proportion of the cash was going to our local postie, I could live with it. The guy runs around like a blue arsed fly with the mail and is worth every penny. But as usual it’s layers of incompetent and unscrutinised management that fuck the service up for everyone else.

    Management: How can I sack more workers and grab their wages for myself, while making it look as if my sole occupation isn’t wanking? I know. Digital tech and impenetrable jargon. But when the tech fucks up, must remember to sue the workers.

  8. Given that Mohamed is the most popular boys name in the UK this year we won’t have to worry about the Royal Mail much longer. The Caliphate won’t put up with any delay on parcel delivery.

    Time is ticking….,

  9. I’m sure someone will correct me but

    Very few people send letters, these days.
    Royal Mail has an obligation to deliver posted items, and they can’t get out of it.

    That said, where does the justification for ridiculously high salaries come from?

    Mind, my bank sends me a monthly letter. Bless, it makes me feel loved.

    • The NHS send appointment letters. First class. Trouble is they arrive so late there is a fair chance the appointment date has passed by.

      My MP sends me letters in response to my serial complaining at the cunt.

      • My MP doesn’t bother replying to my numerous complaints about the local immigrant hotel. She’s worthy of a cunting herself.

  10. And there’s me wanting to post Christmas cards to all of my favourite ISAC cunters along with a £20 gift token from Abdul’s sex toy emporium. But with this news I’m afraid you’ll just end up with a “Merry Fucking Christmas, Cunts!” on here instead.

  11. Round my way they are bundling letters and only posting it bout once a week.

    The terms of their charter require them to deliver post to addresses in the UK 6days a week (not one in six) if you are lucky.

    I emailed a complaint and received the most fucking anodyne bland management bullshit speak response.

    Useless management, useless unionised scruffy uniformed staff and fucking useless service. They deserve to fail.

  12. I remember when you just wrote, TO CUNT LONDON on the envelope and the Prime Minister would receive it the same day.

    • First class would be on the doormat by 9am in the old days.

      Second class by 12 noon at the latest. Parcels in the same van.

      Milk was delivered by a man driving an electric float.

      And apparently the future (now) is better than what went before.

  13. Luckily I Hav’nt used these Cunts for Years

    They are Dinosaurs in a digital age

    You can do all your Utilities, Car, Banking online

    I do feel sorry for those who do rely on these Fuckwits,

    Royal Mail’s Days are Numbered

    I remember a Royal mail Employee would’nt deliver junk mail so the Unions Agreed and they all went on strike

    They should make First class stamps £ 2 and Hopefully Expedite their Demise

  14. I’m sorry to go off topic but does anyone know what became of our old friend Chris Spivey? Google search show’s results for a wolligog and a YouTube link to the tattoo Spivey’s channel which he hasn’t used for 6years.

  15. Never mind the price of the fucking stamps, after seventeen years(!) sub-postmasters are receiving compensation for being wrongfully convicted of fraud courtesy of the Royal Mails Horizon system, those who are still alive that is. What really gets in my fillings is that you can be sure that the people responsible for implementing this system and ensuring its reliability and accuracy will walk away unscathed. There are cunts in Royal Mail and Fujitsu who should be going to jail!

  16. We still need to send mail to some institutions. For example, HMRC haven’t mastered the art of email yet, so you have to send them a letter. You can go online to see if they received it. Then when you realise they haven’t got it, you try a signed for letter. That doesn’t work as all the letters go into a big pot that they pick up later. A stitch up between the pair of them

    • Tell me about it, So Long. Nearly lost a lot of money because the docs got lost fand the deadline expired. That was when all of HMRC was working from home, not just two thirds of it, and to be fair, I got the money in the end. But email? Phone? PMSL!

  17. This 2p carbon charge is really taking the piss because I don’t believe for one moment its going to be used to decarnonise anything!

    If they want ot use EV vans then take it out of the “bonuses” from middle and top management brass.

    I just hope more people find alternative methods of postage and let Royal Mail go down the shitpan (although I suspect they’ll go begging to the government either to be renationalised, or offered a massive taxpayer bailout).

    1st Class Cunts
    2nd Class Service.

  18. Same mindset as from our local council. Their attemt to augment the ailing coffers has been to change the rate of parking charges up by 14% but worse, change the time frame from 6AM to 6PM then, to now 6AM to Midnight.
    Now the car park is empty after 6PM as are the towns hostelries. Our high street was in its final death throes. This is the end!
    A home goal, why can’t they see it?

    • They never can Ray, typical local authority. What they can never understand is that when they annoy the local populace sufficiently, this not being China or North Korea, people wil simply vote with their feet. The businesses who are really stuffed by this mentality of course are the shops. Why on Earth would I bother to hack my way into town with all the hassle and costs involved, most of it down to the local council, when I can go on the net and order something which wil arrive on my door step the following morning, in some cases even on the same afternoon?

  19. The Royal Mail management are also the cunts that bought a computerised acounting system that didn’t add up properly, amd when told by their postmasters that it didn’t work, just swept it under the carpet and then blamed and prosecuted their staff.
    Now the cunts, after dawdling for several years, hoping many of their wrongly imprisoned staff die of stress or old age, have finally made a compensation offer.
    I’d tell the wankers to get fucked.
    Many staff were spat at in the street, labelled thieves and spent years in prison, lost their homes, their livelihoods and their good name and standing in their communities. Some had heart attacks due to the stress or commited suicide.
    If Investigative journalists hadn’t spilled the beans, Royal Mails cunt management would have let innocent staff rot in jail, and continue to scrimp and repay ‘stolen’ post office money that never went missing.
    I wouldn’t trust them to deliver a letter.

  20. I got cancelled by the BBC a couple of months ago when I was slagging these cunts off.

    Most postman are bone idle lazy fucktards who end up in the pub at 12 getting lashed up.

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