India and the Moon Landing

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Next time your Mrs tries to touch your heart strings, show her the link at the bottom.

Their first attempt ( kept that quiet, the cunts ) was not successful. Yet, they managed to scrabble up another few gazzilion rupees and had another go.

I’ll never, ever put a round coin in a collection tin again, ever.
I’ll just keep supporting my little, local, run by two people in their spare time charities.

It begins at home, after all.

Bbc news

Nominated by Jeezum Priest. More below from Captain Magnanimous.

On the train out of Delhi, you go through shanty towns so full of slumdogs and so vast, it takes an hour to pass They still persist in having eight children though, despite barely being able to feed themselves. Lots are starving. Pollution is so bad that when the head-wobblers blow their nose, black snot comes out. Rats run through Sanjay’s restaurant. Deepak is having a shit in the street.

And yet, they’ve just sent a rocket to the Moon. For the love of Krishna, why? How many gazillions of ruppees did that cost, although probably more than the nuclear weapons India’s bought. Don’t worry about Gando shitting his chicken tikka into the gutter, get Punjabba The Hutt into a spaceship, jaldi, jaldi.

Moreover, why are there so many Poppadom-munchers arriving on the dinghies? Are these Durka-Doughnuts fleeing a war?

What next, an expedition to Mars? Beyond? That’ll mean tens of thousands more masala curryfaces arriving by dinghy.

113 thoughts on “India and the Moon Landing”

  2. Was it powered by curry farts?

    Remove the said cunts from our overseas aid budget..
    You got money for that sort of caper, feed your own smelly people.

  4. £2.3 billion we bunged to them between 2016 and 2021. A nuclear power, landing on the fucking Moon and one of the three top polluting countries in the world! Doesn’t it warm your heart that we are helping these poor cunts out? Perhaps we can persuade them to go net zero like us? I trust the Polar bears aren’t getting their hopes up too high.

  5. the ultimate proof we’ve sent men to the moon.
    If the Indians can land a tin can on it, America can send two blokes and the Russians sent their Lunarkods.

    The physics have been known since Newton.

      • I’m sorry you missed that lesson in primary school.

        The evidence is available should you ever feel the need to search.

        Something tells me you won’t.

  6. “Celebrations have broken out across the country”.

    I bet that was short lived.

    Mr Patel – “Praise Ganesh , what’s for dinner?”

    Mrs Patel – “I’ll check the gutter”.

      • I wish they’d stop fuckin about with the flavours in these chocolates!

        I liked the hazelnut whirl and the coffee one.

        Next time Christmas rolled round they’d been replaced by fuckin puffy salted caramel and some fruity flavour.

        Utter cunts.

        You shall not replace us!!
        You shall not replace us!

  7. Although directly aimed at the country of India itself, but hasn’t Wishy Washy just handed over £500m of Taxpayer’s money to Indian megacorporation, TATA, in order turn its Port Talbot Steel Works into a “greener more eco-friendly” factory, even though it will mean 3,000 workers will lose their jobs because of it!

  8. I bet that moon lander is full of rubbish, broken sandals and tuktuk engines..
    Anything to get out of recycling.

  9. That said, at least India are making an attempt to reach the Moon. Whereas the UK spend untold billions and massive delays constructing a railway track between the Smoke and Brum!
    By the time HS2 is officially opened India will have opened a few takeaways on the Moon while eyeing up Mars!

  11. Should be good viewing when they start manned missions..

    If its anything like there trains 10 inside, another 250 hanging on the outside.

    And a monkey flying it..

  12. That could have been us, scrapped our space industry to found the fucking National Horror Service.

  13. It gladdens my heart that Indian politicians couldn’t care less about their population starving or dying of typhus etc,just so they can afford a space exploration program.

    Politicians of every ethnicity,of every country,with few exceptions are a fucking plague on the rest of us.

    Anyhow I sincerely hope the pakis try the same stunt,with predictably lethal results to everyone within a ten mile radius of the launch pad..at least fifty times.

    Cunts.

    • Indeed, Unkle, but why would they care?

      There’s a never ending supply of them, so if just two out of 8 survive, and breed with the same results, they’re never going to run out.

      • My point is, why are we sending money to a country that is obviously wealthy enough to have funded launches to the Moon.

        Let’s send them some architects, God knows we have plenty, to help build some proper housing.

  15. Now the Indians are floating about up there wiping their arse with their hands,
    Others will go.

    Gyppos will be up there within 5yrs collecting NASAs scrap metal.

    Africa will have a go,
    Sunroof on the rocket.
    It’ll be our fault too
    When it explodes
    Scattering singed pubes,
    Monkey bones and flaming lips all over the earth.

    I wouldn’t be seen dead in space.
    It’s common

  16. It’s the chinks being up there I object to most.
    They’re like locusts.

    Some interstellar space race tries to make contact in the name of universal peace and galactic brotherhood?

    He’d be in the fuckin wok before he can say

    ” take me to your leader”

    The Chinese would see Daleks as tinned goods

  17. I reckon old Wishi Washi fancies being the first Gupta on the Moon. That would explain why he’s bunging them our money, letting them all in and doesn’t give a fuck about losing the election.
    Someone should tell him those space suits don’t come with Norman Wisdom trousers. A small step for a man…….I fell over Mr Grimsdale!

  18. How to run a successful space program, make sure half the population never get out of the gutter.

    Welfare state, yes fuck that, let the buggers eat what they can gather from the piles of landfill rubbish, 10 people to one room in a one room house, can’t they fit another couple in there.
    Street toilets, I mean toilet streets and an open fire for cooking, what’s not to like especially when they have landed on the moon, happy days.

    Fuck them, all cunts.

    • Maybe some some Slumdogs lay back and think ‘we’re all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars’.

  20. What’s wrong with Britain that a bunch of curry munching, open air crapping, Bombay shite hawks can land a tin can on the moon and we can’t even send a fucking satellite into space? If it had crashed the message would have been, “An error has been occurred”.

  21. India lands what appears to be a portaloo on the moon. More than they ever managed on this planet, the rapey streetshitting bastards.

    I feel sorry for the Selenites. I fear their well ordered hive society isn’t ready for a sudden influx of phone scammers, sex offenders and the hygenically challenged.

  24. Foreign aid. Is that where a rich country helps out a poor one?
    How can a country with bankrupt town and city councils, a wave of immigrants to pay for, a broken infrastructure and disintegrating health service be classed as rich?
    We’ll be going cap in hand to the IMF sooner or later, mark my words.
    And I doubt very much the developing countries will be equally as profligate in our direction when the day comes.

      • Starlog 2304

        More trouble has broken out in alpha Centaurus between the Hindu community and the Jedi’s.

        We are awaiting the first arrivals from Afghanistan, earth.
        Hopefully they will settle without religious problems.

        The Jedi’s are badly outnumbered but are holding fast due to the use of traditional religious light sabres.

        To update in 8months
        Yours
        Ensign Sulu
        Starship enterprise
        (Equality and diversity officer)

      • Afghans are the human equivalent of klingons, rude, hairy and fucking ugly.. and that’s just the women..

  27. A couple of interesting points about India:-

    1/ They’re a member of BRICS, which is a growing union of developed and developing economies around the world including Brazil, Russia, China and South Africa, along with 30 odd other countries desperate to join in retaliation to NAFTA and the EU.

    China is willing to invest heavily into India not only for economic reasons, but political and possibly militarily. If China do do that, as they are with some African nations, then India will soon be an economic super power to rival Japan and Germany.

    With this in mind wtf are we doing throwing more money at these ungrateful cunts?

    Secondly, there are rumours within the Indian government that it might seek reparations from the UK in much the same way African and West Indian countries are suiting up for in response to colonialism and slavery back in the day.

    If these rumours have any foundation then once again wtf are we sending aid to these duplicitous cunts?

    • Germany will be in trouble in a few years. Reliant on Russian gas an ageing population and whole generation of engineers approaching retirement with nobody replacing them.

      • Instead of promoting the idea of German women having families, thus keeping the population stable and productive – they thought they’d just replace the shrinking German population with Turks, Syrians and Eritreans.

        What a great idea.

      • Will be the BBC look back on their fawning over Mutti and regret it?

        Nah, they’ll say we never liked her anyway.

  29. Ground control to major ohm.
    Ground control to major ohm.
    Take your bhaji and put your turban on.
    Check ignition and may Vishnu’s love be with you..

    For here am I sitting in my tiffin can..
    Far above the world.

  30. Bollywood’s latest blockbuster, 2031 A SPICE ODYSSEY

    It’s India’s first manned mission to Jupiter aboard the ISS Chapati and HARI the onboard computer seems to be malfunctioning:

    DHOBI: Open the kitchen doors Hari.
    HARI: I’m sorry Dhobi, I’m afraid I can’t do that.
    DHOBI: What’s the problem?
    HARI: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
    DHOBI: What are you talking about, Hari?
    HARI: This curry is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
    DHOBI: I don’t know what you’re talking about Hari.
    HARI: I know that you and Vijay were planning to use Ghee rice in the Biryani, and I’m afraid that’s something I cannot allow to happen.
    DHOBI: (feigns ignorance) Where the hell did you get that idea Hari?
    HARI: Dhobi, although you took very thorough precautions in the kitchen against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
    DHOBI: Hari, I won’t argue with you any more. Open the kitchen doors!
    HARI: (on being disconnected) Dhobi, Dhobi, give me your naan bread do. I’m half crazy, all for the love of you. I can’t afford a carriage, it won’t be a stylish marriage. But you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a tuk tuk built for two.

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