Cycling Mikey

Have we done this cunt?

He is a self-appointed guardian of London’s roads, at least as annoying and unwelcome as ulez. His MO is to slide up alongside unsuspecting motorists and film them using their phones, even when they are stationary in traffic. Often during rush hours when people are phoning ahead to say they are late.

He also parks himself on the wrong side of the road and stops cars and vans from turning right at a busy junction. In his arrogant seth afrikaan accent he commands the vehicles in question to reverse and join the proper queue whilst advising them they will be reported to met police online and will be getting a summons in the post. In addition he lambasts all his victims, telling they are terrible human beings and should be ashamed. He uses sarcasm with comments such as “did you get your licence from a Christmas cracker” and similar insults. Some motorists don’t take this very well. He has stopped doctors and even ambulances but ignores any infringements by fellow cyclists, claiming they could fall off and injure themselves. However, he doesn’t apply this logic to motorcyclists.

Now I am not condoning people who commit technical driving offences. We shouldn’t be using our phones on the move, nor taking shortcuts on the wrong side of the road. But this sanctimonious little snitch irritates me to hell. He pokes his nose in where it’s not invited. He causes people to get 6 points on their licence and possibly banned, losing their livelihood. He delights in humiliating drivers who are just trying to navigate their way around overcrowded capital roads. He sees himself as a national hero, supported by the likes of Jeremy Vile and other car haters.

The dice is already loaded against motorists especially those powered by ICE. We don’t need sanctimonious pricks like this rubbing salt into the wounds.


YouTube Link.
(Hoisted by his own petard video link provided by our Motoring Correspondent, Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by Lord Helpus.

48 thoughts on “Cycling Mikey

  1. He is a vigilante. Batman on a bike. He is doing his best to keep us all safe. Maybe he is also a billionaire recluse. We, the public, have a right to know.

    More seriously (?!) maybe he is just another disenfranchised white male looking for a new role in this world of loathing? Or perhaps he is a Lib Dem?

    Good morning, everyone.

  2. Before you start condemning Mike van Erp, his father was killed by a drunken driver. You shouldn’t blame him for his vigilante stunts.

    • So my comments re Batman and powerless white males were not so far wide of the mark.

    • No we should blame him for his own actions. He’s a prick and needs (and sooner or later will get) a right good smack in the face.

      Sad news about his father. No excuse for being a Knut.

    • So he’s entitled to persecute all motorists? He is a sanctimonious wanky little tell tale tit who is in no way respectful to his victims. Even the police don’t like dealing with him because he’s a grass. And a friend of Jeremy Vile, that well-known supporter of motorists.

  3. I’m not behind this cunting. I have watched a considerable number of his clips and he simply pulls up drivers (and cyclists) for cuntish road behaviour.

    He is respectful and calm when he speaks to the offenders. As I see it he has prevented a number of accidents.

    Not a cunt.

    • Ah do loike his Sairf Efrican exscent ma bru.
      Dems roight mayt!
      I wonder if he’s got deplormertic imoonity.

      In all seriousness I’m not sure where I stand on this. There’s a fine line between being a self appointed busy body and saving lives.

      The last few years have turned the average person into some sort of Karen with a camera. It started just before lockdowns and then it was almost encouraged for people to grass on their neighbours.
      The way the country has changed in the last 25 years or so is quite worrying really.
      It’s reminiscent of the Soviets and the DPRK where they report their neighbour for all manner of infractions real or imagined.

      TLDR – not entirely sure if Mike Van Erp is a cunt or not. He’s dicing with death cycling in London at the best of times though.

  4. Fucking tree hugging wanker. The cunt isn’t even British, he’s a fucking Dutchie!
    Take your clogs back where you came from, fuck off and stay fucked off. Fucking busybody interfering foreign cunt.

    • If you are saying such things about a white protective person looking out for our safety. What are your thoughts on the negative and I mean literally what comes back from the chemist alongside his photographs. My pisstake on the evil blacky.

      • But this nom isn’t about that, it’s about some cunt riding around on a bike grassing up motorists. Change the fucking record.

  5. Might have a bit more respect for him if he wasn’t hanging around regents Park catching the residents of primrose Hill..

    Come on mikey lad try Brixton or Southall and Whitechapel..
    I’m sure the more diverse people of london won’t mind you filming them.

    • He doesn’t want to commit suicide, even though he’s playing a dangerous game as it is. The law lookup to him for helping their already limited resources and its possible they are paying him secretly for his popularity alone. I’m not budging on this due to being a cyclist myself.

  6. Yeah, what if I went around filming filthy cunts doing their daily shoplifting? Assuming I didn’t get stabbed and took it to the Old Bill what do you think would happen? They’d laugh in my fucking face.
    But this wanker will get a citizenship award from Suckdick for filling his coffers with more money he can piss up the wall on foreigners like Dick Van Dyke here. No, hit the whitey minority for murdering the fucking Polar bears.

  7. On a related matter, does anyone know if any pedestrians or cyclists in Wales were hit by a car yesterday because the driver was staring at the speedometer trying to keep to 20mph?

  8. Second time recently that the sight of a face on here has conjure up the vision of a baseball bat.

  9. Cunts like Cycling Mikey are usually found dinging their little bell, warning pedestrians on the pavement that they need to get out of the way.

    I have recently lost my fucking shit at a number of cunts cycling on the pavement while I’m trying to walk the dog.

    Favourite line at the moment is to block the entire pavement and remind the cunts that the weird looking black tar river sandwiched between the pavements is where they should be. most apologise and comply.

    Friday night saw me go full Tonto on some two wheeled arsehole as he sped through a red light and nearly took the dog’s head off.
    When it comes to man’s best friend, if you hurt him, I will hurt you in ways that have only previously been described in medieval texts.

    He did apologise profusely after I told him I would happily cut his fucking throat if I saw his face again.

    They’re self righteous cunts and should be punched squarely in the face when discovered riding on the pavement or going straight through a red light.

  10. The horse kicking bitch in a previous nom was found not guilty as the video of her clearly slapping the animal was not valid as it may have been tampered with.

    I wonder how many motorists have been prosecuted with his video evidence.

    He is undoubtedly a fucking cunt.

    • Crikey I thought he was long gone.
      I suppose his last wish is to be laid to rest in old Durham town.

    Surprised this fucker isnt in the tread pattern of some ones tyre ,South African you say see above link, if ever there was an anti cunt sniper required this is it, he wont think its funny when he,s having to blink twice at his nerse when he wants to take a shit.
    Fuck off back to South Africa ya cunt, yet another import no fucker wants in this country….

  12. Why doesn’t the cunt fuck off back to Seth Erifka and try that shit in the townships? Probably end up wearing a flaming “necklace” – good.

    • I was talking about him doing drivers when stuck in a jam. A technical offence. Not excusing those idiots having a conversation on the move.

      OK, he lost his father in a road collision. I’m sorry for that. I lost an uncle who was knocked off his bike by a bus. Should I have started a campaign against all bus drivers?

      Also, let him take his grievances to Brixton or Tottenham. See how brave he is then.

      • Quite right your Lordship. Also, how many drunk drivers has he turned in?

    • Nope. I turn it off while driving. If ive left it on and get a missed call, i pull over and phone back.

  13. It’s not this bastard’s job to go around playing traffic cop.

    I am amazed there isn’t a law against this as it looks like intimidation and harassment to me.

    Hats off to the London drivers who have all so far not kicked his teeth in.

    As an occasional cyclist myself, it irks me how cyclists routinely break traffic laws and act with impunity when it comes to obeying The Highway Code. Perhaps if this prick was an equal opportunities snitch, we’d have an easier time not hating his fucking self-righteous guts.

  14. Because of the pharmaceutical failure of my be a happy citizen pills, an intervention as to my driving, riding buy this cunt would result in a claw hammer attack which would certainly affect his ability to be a cunt on a bike. Arsehole, cannot stand these self righteous cunts

  15. As far as I remember (please free to correct me), the only occasion you can legally use a phone in a car, is pulled up, at the side of the road, with the engine switched off.
    My daughter was knocked down by some cunt of a woman using its phone while driving. Broken leg, full recovery.
    So, while he is indeed a ‘vigilante cunt’, in some respects he’s quite right to cunt some other cunt using a phone while driving.
    Anyway, the said cunt in the nom, doesn’t appear to have bell on his bike, (which again, correct me if I’m wrong) is an offence.
    The cunt.

  16. one day the guy is going to get some serious road rage and the video footage will only be good as entertainment on dash cam vid programs for us all to enjoy watching this cunt having his bike rectally inserted, all the while shouting i know my rights.
    The sooner the better, what a treble cunt…..

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