Cookies and Captchas

Why do i have to keep dealing with bloody cookies when i click on often visited webpages? I was here yesterday, i rejected cookies. Can’t you fucking remember?

Captchas are an even bigger nuisance.
Some websites ask you to put the phrase or words displayed on screen into a box or answer a simple question. Google likes you to tick all the boxes
with fire hydrants or bicycles etc.
Fairly straight forward. (If you can read the damn text. You’re a bit fucked if you’ve never seen a fire hydrant)

However, there is one site i use a lot that takes this ridiculous inconveniance to a whole new level.
It asks me to click on the centre of the correct picture or click on the racoon.
Sometimes it asks me to draw a box around an object.

The problem is that the instructions for what to do are at the top of the captcha screen, which is always cut off due to the way the captcha is displayed, meanining i constantly have to be scrolling up to find out what the fuck silly thing they want me to do is.
Unfortunately, when i scroll up, the captcha screen scrolls up too, meaning i have to go all the way to the top of the bastard screen to look at the instructions. Sometimes that doesn’t work and i have to scroll up and down to get it in just the right place to view said instructions.

Here’s a tip you IT fuckwits, why not get the captcha to display properly in the first cunting place so i don’t have to scroll like a maniac, or maybe use a more compact captcha.
Check that your insufferable invention works properly before inflicting it on people.

C u n t s

Nominated by : Polite Cunt

44 thoughts on “Cookies and Captchas

  1. Simple solution:
    Stop using Chrome, Firefox, etc…don’t use the main browsers.
    Use the “Brave” browser.
    No cookies, no tracking, no capcha shit and, best of all, watching Youtube through the Brave browser means no ads at all.
    I’ve been using it for a while now, it’s brilliant.

  2. Cookies and captcha’s?
    I’m sure I’ve been in that coffee shop..

    I have a low tolerance for that kind of shit, if there’s not a reject all button I’m straight out.

    Fuck clicking settings then choosing what to accept…
    Bye next site..

  3. There’s entire government departments running hell for leather who’s sole purpose is to make even the simplest things into excruciating torture for Joe Public.

    Voila! Eighty tons of mither.


  4. This is where Greta Thunderbrain could come in handy.
    Tell the fuckwit that all the time wasted on rejecting cookies causes fifty billion tons of CO2 to be produced every year to generate the electricity, and let her do the rest.

    • Greta is now too busy counting the millions in her bank account now that she has fucked over the MSM with her “How Dare You!” bollocks regarding the environment and the death of planet Earth on 5th January 2025 at 5:52pm – just after the kids programmes have finished!

  5. Cookies may well be a thing of the past very soon.

    Windows 12 will have built-in AI apps that will integrate into all the main web browsers and will start to monitor your website habits to the point where it will build a profile of the kind of person you are and your interests.

    The problem at the moment is that this AI technology has yet to be regulated/approved by the EU (It was the EU that was partly responsible for these annoying cookie pop-ups, giving the user some control over their PI).

    Until the EU approve/reject the AI on W12, it will mean Microsoft wont be able to release W12 into Europe – or at least not the AI part.

    But from what I have read about AI it is truly very invasive. And I would heartily recommend that no one should use finger-print readers or eye-recognition software to unlock their devices or used as a form of app authentication

    Your fingerprint and iris information will be stored to be build said profile, and since we’re all going cashless and all the documentation you need are now online (driving licence, passport, council tax, pension and work details etc) then all this can be consolidated to form a massive profile which AI can use as part of the Social Credit System, which is mooted to be on the way in the next few years.

    In essence your devices will be working against you rather than for you. The “Internet of Things” is nothing more than a Snooper’s Paradise.

    • AI will be ace when it gets to the point that sex dolls (indistinguishable from the real Miss Marple) that’ll give you a rimjob, a bj, then cook, slice and feed you a pizza, all the while cooing sweet nothings into your ear like “ooh, Reverend, you shouldn’t have murdered your housekeeper in the Rectory library” and rubbing her tweed suit up against you and getting cheese grease on it.

      • Your visions of the future sound more optimistic than the current doom and gloom i read elsewhere, perhaps there is hope after all Thomas.

  6. The site that i encounter most of this captcha crap on has decided i can no longer have access, and no, it’s not some deviant site or a site for mum’s basement dwelling weirdos,
    There is a way to fix it but it sounds too complicated.
    Bollocks to them and their captchas, they can shove it up their hoop, along with a pineapple.

  7. Perhaps Captcha should do a photo of Diane Abbott’s flange. You’ll just need to find 3 boxes where there’s no crusty yeast/spunk/menstrual blood stains.

    Good luck with that!

    (I don’t think even our resident disgusting perv, TtTE, would want to go down that road!)

    • Thanks for the VPN advice Techno.
      How much scrolling do you think i’d have to do to see the flabbot’s gash in full, i’d wear out my fucking touchpad.

  8. Could be fun if you had to spot all the boxes containing immies. Of course they would be in every one, sixty fuckers in each.

  9. Biscuits instead of the C would and Films rather than the M word. Also bloke, man or woman than the annoying G word. All this shit came from hamshankland.

  10. The great thing about being an IT nerd is that even though I’m not particularly built like a brick shithouse, i do have a piece of software and a piece of hardware, that when used in conjunction with each other will allow e to hack into some cunt’s phone/tablet/computer and do all sorts of crazy shit anonymously.

    Now if I can do that, then the bigger cunts from the government’s security services can do the same and without your knowledge/permission.

    That said, it was quite fun hacking into a total of 3 utter cunt’s devices and deleting everything, leaving them completely fucked!

  11. What happens when a robot can tick the ‘I am not a robot’ box 😂

    Not possible, robots cannot lie, it is their core programming …

    Can’t wait to get my perfect AI replica of Scarlett Johansson circa 2003.

  12. This piece of advice has been around for years. But if you have a tablet/laptop/PC with built-in webcam, make sure it is disabled as a service at all times!

    Same with in-built microphones.

    Far too easy to hack into a device and activate a webcam without the user’s permission/knowledge.

  13. Robots are often more bendy these days. In the sixties they were all made of tin. This was probably due to the prevailing colonial influences which do not apply today. Progress of a sort. Not sure if this is relevant as I am a technophobe.

  14. To quote the Sex Pistols – Never Mind the Bollocks!

    It’s Friday afternoon
    The sun is shining (at least it is up here in the Lakes. Not sure about you riff-raff darn sarf!)
    The local pub is doing some real ale tasters along with discounted dinners.
    For the interim, cookies and computers can go fuck themselves!

  15. I assumed when we left the EU, there would be no fucking boxes asking if you accept cookies. Then it dawned on me…

  16. Even when you select all the boxes with whatever object they specify, the poxy thing ignores you and presents you with a new set of pictures. Had that recently and it took about five attempts before the bloody thing allowed me access.

    Regarding webcams, I just have mine covered with a strip of black masking tape.

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