‘Tipflation’ is the term being coined for the tipping culture creeping into services like coffee shops, fast food outlets and even airports. Up to twenty fucking percent!

This seems to be an American thing but we get most of their shit at some point or another. If you are at a bar or restaurant over there, then you tip. Its part of the culture and does help out staff who rely on it to supplement a shitty wage.

But some spotty blue haired barista wanker with a degree in Tibetan basket weaving waving the begging bowl? Or ‘add gratuity’ as our American friends put it. Customers have complained of being emotionally blackmailed and pressured after being asked for the extra charge. Well good luck with me. Got industrial thick rhino skin. Comic Relief? Soccer Aid? Live Aid? M’tembe is still walking five miles a day to drink from a pool of buffalo piss after thirty odd years because of cunts like me.

The one that got me though are the self-service checkouts in supermarkets. So you scan and bag all your own shopping and are then asked pay a tip. To who? You have just done all the fucking work yourself. I suppose you could make the argument that the real cunts in all of this cynical emotional grifting are the people who actually do pay this charge instead of telling these businesses to shove their ‘add gratuity’ up their arse.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator

60 thoughts on “Tipflation

  1. Never knew ! The cheek of the self service. It should be the other way around. I’d kick its bollocks in.

  2. If some cunt or some company feels the need to ask for a tip then they don’t get one.

  3. To be fair the self checkout machines are at airports, which does have a large percentage of stupid people..

    Whether it’s changing up currency or paying 3 quid for a bottle of water at wh smiths.

    I would happily tip for a better service, but in this country the usual standard of service staff is very poor.

  4. A tip for a overpriced cup of coffee, are you having a laugh.

    If you are served by a trainee barista do you get a discount, I mean until the cunt is a full on barista the quality of the coffee can’t be the same, can it?

    What is the training period, how are they assessed, it’s a fucking minefield ordering a coffee in Starbucks and don’t get me started on working out the barista gender 😂

    If it’s table service and the waitress is fit, nice arse, polite and the service is first class, then they might get a two Bob tip

    • Can’t stand coffee from coffee shops. It’s grossly overpriced, it’ tastes bitter and makes me fart 🤮

      • Yes, definitely overpriced, not sure about the farting, maybe they put in some gay ingredient which loosens the anus 😉

      • Agree with you, fenton. My best mate and I are ex-hospitality workers. Mate owned cafes etc. When we meet for coffee I’ve always balked at the stimulant’s sky-high price. A couple of petrol stations have introduced self-serve machines dispensing coffee for 2 dollars and 1.50. The 2 dollar jobs are 7/Eleven and previously cost 1 dollar. A major supermarket chain over here named Coles have a few “Coles Express” outlets in garages. Similar to Tesco Express if memory serves. Their 1.50 coffees are excellent in my opinion. I like a double shot so go through the process twice. Never once have I been charged for “a double shot!” The price is far more realistic.
        I fart like a racehorse anyway.

  5. Stupid fuckers come here on holiday and they have no idea if they should leave a tip or how much that might be.

    Tip if you want to but 10% is usual.
    Don’t order a 3 euro beer and leave the change from 5.
    The bar owner will soon suss out that he can raise his prices.

    I have heard that in America some places don’t pay their waiters, they rely on tips.

    If you get shit service not only don’t leave a tip but also deduct some or all of the service charge on the bill.

    You are within your rights to do that.
    At least you were, last time I checked.

  6. Anyone who’s so pussy they give a tip because they feel “pressured” into doing so deserves to lose both their money and their self-respect, assuming they had some to begin with.
    Grow a spine, you chicken shit, you’re supposed to be an adult.
    I recently had to cross a bridge on a train station and there was some charity wanker stood at the foot of the steps. I was looking around and he took it as me trying to avoid him.
    Charity cunt: “I’m afraid you’re going to have to walk past me after all.”
    Me (acknowledging said cunt for the first time): “Why would that bother me? You think you’re intimidating? I don’t give a crap about you or your cause.”
    Looking back, I regret my hastiness.
    I should’ve hung around and belittled the cheeky wanker for a full 2 minutes, pouring scorn on him personally and whatever pointless charity he was representing.
    Hopefully he fell into the tracks and was turned into mist by a straight-through express train.

    • Indeed. Chugging for Mtembe and co?

      A curt, ‘I hope they all die’ works well.

      Morning Thomas. Allegro still alive?

      • Hi CB…Alan the Allegro is alive and kicking, thanks. I picked my (very embarrassed) son in him a couple of days ago in front of a couple of his little shit mates, very amusing!
        Are you going to have a nice weekend?

      • Haha. I can imagine the shame he felt, you daft cunt.

        Nice weekend?

        My Fritzl cellar is almost finished now. I plan on camping outside Nicole Kidman’s and that bird off the Sky Mobile advert’s houses, before ‘rehousing’ them.

        Should be a cracking weekend then.

      • I’m inviting Jennifer Lopez and Scarlet Johanson down into my cellar Cuntybollocks.
        I will tell them i have some kittens down there, never fails that old chestnut. That reminds me i must pop out and buy some more chloroform 🥴

  7. Its unlikely, but if a yank comes out with that annoying HAND acronym, I’d give them short shrift.

    • Me neither Arf. I don’t feel pressurised at all. When I ask them to take the service charge off, they always respond the same way: “Was anything wrong?” I tell them “No, no, everything was splendid, food, service everything. Well done.”

  8. During the last century there was none of this. I once offered a pound coin to a tramp, rummaging in waste bins at the junction of Tottenham Court and Oxford Street, who proudly replied, “I don’t want your charity”. I thought, good on you Sir !

  9. If someone deserves a tip they’ll get one. Otherwise they can fuck off.

    Good day all

  10. Every working cunt is already forcibly donating to Mtembe and co.

    Those dinghy riders’ homes, cash, education and healthcare isn’t free. An increase in net migration has meant an increase of demand against supply for housing, causing higher rental and mortgage costs. Then there’s overseas aid and all those tax credit dodgy fuckers.

    All these chuggers can fuck off. CEOs and top dogs on six or seven figure salaries too.

    They can all, get to fuck.

    Knock on my door and disturb me by asking for a direct debit and you’ll hear two words before the door is slammed in your face, you cunt.

    • It’s terrible CB I had to go to work today to pick up the tax shortfall that oily cunts like Lineker create by dodging their share..

  11. If things aren’t costly enough these days, without throwing away money.

  12. Emotional blackmail?

    Naah. ive known for years that the gratuity paid electronically never goes to the staff serving ypu. I only tip in cash.

    Fucking greedy corporate cunts.

  13. I used to tip taxi drivers but that was when they were all white. You will struggle to find one these days and I ain’t tipping a fucking immo…….except over the side somewhere in the middle of the Channel.

  14. I Always tip.
    Your a tight little bleeder LL.

    I tip in the pub.
    At the place I buy my tyres.
    I tip electricians, plumbers,
    Builders, anyone who does any work for me.

    And they remember.
    It’s worked to my benefit!
    I get great service everywhere I go.

    I get tips myself of grateful customers it’s a nice gesture and you go that bit extra for them.

    People remember you when you tip .
    Grease the wheels I say!!

    • A decent cup of tea goes a long way too. I understand times are tight and I don’t ever expect a tip, but if I’m doing work on your house I do expect a decent brew at least 3 times a day.

  15. If I get dragged into one of those chain coffee shops, I do a magic eye picture focus straight through the tip basket.

    • I’ve been to a coffee chain once, Cafe Nero, about 15 years ago and that was as a mystery shopper. Never felt the urge before or since, a cafe suits me fine or McDonalds do a nice one. I will tip in a cafe, usually just rounding up the bill.

      • Which is that advert where someone says “£4? I’ve paid more than that for a cup of coffee.” Anyone who’ll pay £4 for a coffee is a gormless twat with more money than sense, who will probably be daft enough to give a tip as well. I use ground coffee, semi-skimmed milk and sweeteners to make my coffee and I can make a good number of cups for £4.

      • I either use Douwe Egberts instant or, once a day, coffee beans which I grind at home. Add a dash of sugar free flavoured syrup and double cream and I reckon each cup costs less than 40p. For £4 I’d want a full English not a fucking coffee.

      • Come on, instant coffee is garbage. You’d be better off adding cat litter to your cup

  16. Fly-tippers are the biggest bugbear. They should be forced to pay the biggest finds and have their mugs plastered all over the shop.

  17. I’d tell the employee I’ll be putting in a good word to the management for the excellent service. Free of charge, obviously.

  18. Unlike America we have employment laws, whereby tips and gratuities cannot be taken into consideration for employees wages……we also have the living and minimum wage laws.

    Tips in America are still considered part of an employees wage allowing employers to pay a low wage or nothing at all.

  19. Get my coffee from the jar in the kitchen cupboard. Need a drink out? Get a beer from The Spoons, cheaper.
    The thieving cunts.

    • People shit on Spoons but there’s nowhere else offering good drinks and hearty meals at those sorts of prices. OK, they don’t usually have the atmosphere of a traditional pub but they have their place.

  20. I was going to say why is there a photo of Emily Thornberry in the noms photo – then I looked again and saw she wasn’t ugly enough (except in her mud wrestling days of course).

  21. Even taxi companies are at it now. And this is in Sheffield, an area notorious for poor service and never having enough taxis to cover rush hour. No way some parking Stanley who needs to rely on Google Maps to navigate even basic routes is getting anything extra out of me.

      • Last time I got a taxi, he was jabbering to his wife ( so he said), and asked me if it was OK if he carried on his conversation.
        I was going to pick the Lass up, and go into town for her Christmas present ( shoes, so she had to be there) and lunch.
        I had to direct the twat in and out of the estate where the Lass lives.
        Tip! Don’t eat yellow snow.

      • I do, yes. Unfortunately I have to get taxis occasionally – especially considering I’m having physio for an ankle problem.

      • Sorry to hear that, Opey.
        Hope it’ll be better sooner rather than later.

      • Cheers, it happened in February so it’s definitely starting to get better now. Problem is the ligament sprain happened as a result of an osteochondral fracture that went undetected for about 5 years, so it was gradually getting weaker and weaker until it gave in. Very surprised I don’t need surgery tbh.

  22. Off topic: LUTON TOWN ARE IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE. A refreshing change in this era of oligarchs and mega money, regardless what one thinks of the town.

Comments are closed.