Crock ‘n’ Roll

They say that rock ‘n’ roll will never die. But sometimes you think that it’s time for some crock ‘n’ rollers to call it a day.

I see that The Who (or what’s left of them) are on tour again. Now the band’s a legend without doubt, but it’s been a while since they were the voice of teenage angst. Daltry and Townshend have got 160 on the clock between them, and it’s all starting to look and sound creaky. They should have called it a day when the legendary Entwhistle died.

Then you’ve got the likes of Macca and Dame Elton still out and about in 2023, both of whose voices sound shot to shit to me. Rod Stewart’s knees and ankles have had it by all accounts, but he’s still hurpling about on stage. It’s a bit sad really. Saddest of all was the sight of Phil Collins on stage last year. He looked like an old and sick man.

Why do they do it? They can’t need the money, so is it the buzz, or the need for status and admiration? Would you bet against The Stones going out on tour again, even though Mick and Keef look like a couple of rejects from ‘The Lord of the Rings’?

Time to think about retiring gracefully lads, before it all becomes a bit demeaning.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

With an encore by General Cunster:

“All rock ‘n’ rollers over the age of 50 look stupid and should retire.” -Grace Slick

I would like to second this nomination and provide this link in support:

These bands were the iconic voices of a generation. I’d like to remember them as such and not as comic caricatures of themselves.

166 thoughts on “Crock ‘n’ Roll

    • The beatles were shit? Fuck me it’s your opinion but well fuck me

      They were the greatest pop, rock and roll rock band ever..
      All of them were under 30 when they split Not aging rockers at all.. Boy did they make some fantastic songs music. Lead the way unlike say the Stones who P Mc correctly labelled a blues tribute band.

      Still it’s your opinion and you are welcome to it.

      PS Macca is now a lefty earth moaning cunt.

      • Taste in music is a subjective thing of course, but I’d say that there’s no objective criterion at all by which The Beatles could be labelled ‘shit’.

        Still, yer pays yer money…

      • Yellow Submarine? I rest my case.

        Lennon was the talent, the rest just bang average. Right place, right time for them.

      • In my opinion, nothing could be more spine-tingling than Wilhelm Furtwangler with the Berlin Philarmonic Orchestra in their 1949 recording of Bruckner’s Symphony No. 7. Daniel Barenbohm regards it as the greatest performance of any symphony ever recorded – and he said that while he was porking Jacqueline Du Pre.

        Better than the Beatles.

      • They were not shit . Just watching Peter Jackson’s ‘Get Back’ film shows that. But, they were of their time and after a few great solo albums after they split, that was it and that is how it should be. All that ‘reunion’ cash-in crap using a bad Lennon demo tape, that ridiculous circus show thing and almost all of Macca’s post 1973 output has not helped their legacy at all.

      • Norm,
        I watched it and I still think they were shit.

        When you’re main competition was Sandy Shaw or Cliff Richard, you’re bound to go to number one.

      • I am the egg man.
        They are the egg men.
        I am the walrus.

        Dismal shite.

      • The Beatles did some great stuff, but they did get overtaken by the end of the 60s. Creedence, The Band, The Doors, Traffic, the last days of Small Faces, Vaniila Fudge, Free, and of course Purple, Zeppelin and Sabbath.

        And for me Small Faces were the band from the 60s Steve Marriott and Ronnie Lane had just as much talent as Lennon and McCuntney, and Steve could outsing and outplay the pair of them. Ronnie’s solo stuff (Any More for Anymore) and Humble Pie’s first albums piss on Plastic Yoko Band and bloody Wings.

        The Knks were the dog’s bollocks too. Brilliant.

      • Hey Norm,

        What do you call a dog with wings?

        Linda McCartney!

        What’s small and yellow and lives off dead beetles?

        Yoko Ono!

        I’ll get me coat.

      • BMW timeless and universal live late 70s I’m showing my age but fuck it anyway it’s all subjective

      • What’s got 6 legs and 2 arseholes.

        A Mounted Policeman.

        What’s got 2 wings and 11 arseholes.

        A football team.

      • Chapman’s memoir is apparently going to be called ‘Why I wish I’d Shot Yoko’.

  1. Surely booze and drugs takes their toll though?
    Phil Collins was an alky for years and the only reason Keef is still alive is that he can afford high-quality drugs.
    Townshend has kept himself feeling young by feeling the young. For “research” I believe was his excuse.
    But what else can these old fuckers do? Without their 40/50 year old music keeping them going, they’d wither and die almost immediately.

    • Collins couldn’t sing for toffee. No lips, no hair, with fringe starting at the crown. Think that’s the lot ?

      • “Collins couldn’t sing for toffee”

        Really? Nothing lacking in Collins’ voice.

  2. I was also surprised that Jethro Tull are on tour again. The consensus seems to be that Anderson’s croaking his vocals these days.

    • To be fair Ron Anderson looks better now than he did in 1970 when I saw them live in Manchester 😂

      • Yeah I saw JT at Brum Town Hall (must have been 1970) and can only agree with your comment Sick!

      • The support band were Procol Harum, one hit (became a classic) wonder, one and half I guess if you include homberg

    • The Tull were ace in their pomp. So were Genesis with Peter and Steve in the line-up, and they did alright afterwards up to about ‘Abacab’. But that last Genesis tour? Collins is absolutely knackered, he is now a physical wreck. Probably to do with decades of drumming without back support. U2’s drummer, Larry Mullen, is also now unwell do to a similar complaint. Mind you, the lad can count his money and have a rest from Bonio. So it’s not all bad.

      • Just shows you how, even with his wealth levels,a knackered back just can’t be mended and as stated above,twatting drums for so many years can’t be too beneficial for the vertebra?

      • I saw the chap from Jethro Tull in a documentary a while ago, talking about when he used to prance about on stage in tights and playing a flute – he commented that he thought he had particularly fine legs and buttocks and was sure he would get a gay following due to this, but a gay friend had then told him this was not going to happen. He was visibly crestfallen.

  3. These bands from the 60s an 70s ,
    No point seeing them now
    Just rich skellingtons shambling about the stage.

    I love the Stones, the Who and Zeppelin.
    But I like to remember them in their prime.

    I saw the who sans Moon.
    Fuckin rubbish

    Zeppelin folded after the death of Bonzo and that was savvy.

    • Rod Stewart now looks like my nan when she’s pissed. Embarrassing, really.

    • I still can’t envisage the Stones without Brian Jones.

      No Who without Moonie or The Ox.

      And Plant is right when he keeps blocking Page’s Zep cash-in reunion plans.

      And the Byrds. McGuinn carried on the name long after all original members apart from himself left. And it was country schlock with an endless stream of musos (including the overrated and overeulogised Gram Parsons). David Crosby (RIP) was spot on when he said ‘Fuck all that post-1968 shit. There were ony ever five Byrds.’

    • Rod was great with Faces. But he’s been shite since his late 70s leopard print keks disco period.

  4. I saw Fleetwood Mac some 10 years ago. Utter shit show with the exception of Lindsey Buckingham who pretty much carried the show by himself. He didn’t even take a break when the rest of the band had to go and have a nice warm cup of tea and a sitdown.

    Stevie Nicks’ neck looks like a punched lasagna, too.

    Stick the choons on Spotify. Enjoy them for what they were.

    • Saw Mac in Galveston a few years back; missing something without without McVie in the line up, but Buckingham was shit hot that night.

      ‘Rumours’ is still one of my all time favourite albums tho; still sounds fresh years on.

      • As a keen acoustic picker myself for some years,l find Buckingham’s abilities often beyond reach,even on his simpler tunes such as Landslide ?.’Never Going Back Again ‘ took me years to nail.

        He does a lot of ‘Travis-Picking’ with his thumb keeping the top strings chiming in sync with the other fingers on a separate project at the top.Incredible dexterity required.

        Very brilliant minstrel in every sense.

      • “…’Never Going Back Again ‘ took me years to nail.”

        Same here, Rhiannon is a good ‘work up’ to it Then it’s capo at the second for a bit o’ 7/4 action with Solsbury Hill.

    • Buckingham was briiliant and he saved Mac. And the sea hag Nicks was and is a cunt for the way she got rid of him. Mac are a joke now. No Lindsey and no Chrissie (RIP). It is now the Stevie Nicks show and that Crowded House bloke filling Buckingham’s shoes? That is just a laugh, just taking the piss.

      My favourite Mac will always be the Green/Kirwan/Spencer version though.

      • Didn’t Mick Fleetwood say it was ‘that’s it’ after Christine McVie died? (RIP Chrissie)

      • Credit where it’s due, Neil Finn of Crowded House fame is a seriously talented bloke, and his voice has aged better than Buckingham’s.

        Dull as ditchwater, though. Basically pub band Fleetwood Mac now. Sad state of affairs.

        Buckingham’s last solo work from 2021 (might have been 2022, I’ve had a lot to drink in recent years!) is mad as a bag of rabbits. Fucking brilliant stuff.

      • Finn’s good at his own thing, but Mac need a demented genius like Buckingham. Some madly gifted cunt who comes up with things like ‘Tusk’ and ‘Big Love’.

        I bet Buckingham is kicking himself now that he brought Nicks into the band with him. He insisted she join Mac too because he was giving her one. What he didn’t know was so was half of the rock and record industry in California too at the time…

      • She’s a dreadful old scrote, is Nicks. Can’t sing or write a song for toffee. She has never really come across a particularly nice person, either.

        Christine McVie, though? A class act, thoroughly decent human being, and a voice akin to having your soul licked by cherubs.

      • Turned down a ticket to see a Buckinghamless Mac in Manchester years ago.Mask tour or some same cobblers.?

        They needed to guitar players to do what LB did alone and created some dirge about the Bermuda Triangle no less which isn’t exactly on par with,say Gypsy,Dreams or YCGYOW in their canon.

      • Affirmative@mr Chops

        All the best songs i find happen on the capped 7th fret.Here comes the sun,hotel california and Tull’s ‘Lifes a long song’ etc spring to mind.Some songs are just so enjoyable to play i find, where others (Buckingham,Page) are bloody hard going and best left to the experts.

        Mastered Page’s STH (acoustic bit) and Brony-Y-Aur…(very rewarding to play) but i’m keen to grab ‘Black Mountain side’ in a decade or so lol.
        Jimmy Page for me is unsurpassable.

      • “…Mastered Page’s STH (acoustic bit) and Brony-Y-Aur…(very rewarding to play)…”

        Agreed, one of my go to’s when I just need to zone out. Here’s a mate o’ mine (severely hungover after an all nighter) riffing it.
        …clanged the ending… I do it better.. don’t tell him I said that.

        But back on topic; if it’s well aging rock guitarists we’re talking then look no further than yer man Steve Hackett, can still rip the bollocks out of his extensive Genesis and Solo back catalogue, still got his voice, still touring and filling venues. Makes y’ sick dunnit.

  5. One thing occurred to me, maybe these old cunts hang around because so much music today is animals loose in a china shop, x factor bollocks or C Rap shit
    Could be?

    • John Otway played a pub in Bristol recently, accompanied by Wild Willie Barrett. He must be about 70 now and his one hit single getting on for 50 years ago but he keeps plugging away, presumably because he enjoys it. I should think he must have a cult following. If you want a laugh, there was a film made about him in 2013 ” Otway the Movie”. I saw it at a local arts centre when it came out, and John Otway turned up at the end! The film documents his career, or lack of.
      He told us about when he was promoting his second single, he had put a note on one of the singles so that whoever bought it was entitled to a personal performance in their home by him and his band. A young girl bought it, but her mum did not want him in the house as she had seen him on the Old Grey Whistle Test, smashing various things up.

  6. They look idiotic and sound fucking terrible.

    Maybe it’s an ego thing? Adulation? Getting out the mansion for a bit?

    I don’t like it at all,rock stars should die young or just disappear into palatial debauchery..

    PS McCartney is a right cunt.Look at the fucking state if it ffs

    • He hasn’t a made a good record since 1973, and he is a hypocrite. Macca used to nag George and Ringo forever about their musical ‘faults’. Yet he had his Mrs in Wings when she could neither sing or play a fucking note. She wasn’t even eye candy either. Always baffled me, the two head Beatles. Biggest writers and rock stars in the world, fanny on tap. Yet they land with Linda Eastman and Yoko Fucking Ono? Pot must really wreck your brian cells, and your knob…

    • At least George bagged Pattie Boyd, and Ringo got the shagtastic Barbara Bach. When she was in the Spy Who Loved Me, fucking hell…

  7. I think all groups should be allowed to show themselves up if they want to. Stages littered with brains in fish tanks. Make sure tanks have the correct names labelled on them. We don’t want them to look a right cunts, do we.

  8. I stopped going to see legendary bands of my formative years some time ago when I noticed that most of the audience required medical attention just to move about.

  9. The Who have announced that at the end of this tour, the band’s long serving tour bus will sadly be going to the scrapyard, it won’t get fuelled again….

  10. I remember seeing Bob Dylan in 2012, I reckon he had a stroke in the dressing room before coming on stage.

    Not a fan anyway, but what a pile of steaming shit. Muttering,hearing one word in three.

    Should of rolled him to the nearest hospital for tests.

      • Yep.The Bard.Hurricane alone must be the greatest,most lucid protest songs ever commited to disc.?

  11. With enough television coverage (i.e. the BBC creaming it’s knickers in finding another long running TV show to compare with Strictly Mincing, plus a glossy magazine, with the word “cool” written into every article, this could be a whole new money making scene.

    Ladies and gentleman it’s Saturday evening it’s 8.30 and time for Cool Cliff Richard to introduce Darby & Joan Disco.

    A studio audience of the over 75s, stinking the place out with their Deep Heat and the iconic clank of a rusty truss. I even have a sig tune for it sung by Cool Cliff:

    “Evry Sat-de evening,
    Bout half past eight
    Forget about your bingo, you won’t wanna be late
    Betta call your baby on the telephone
    Everybody’s jumping at the Derby and Joan

    The surgical stocking rocking and roll
    When you grab your baby you’ve really got soul
    Look at old Gus – he’s making a fuss
    Hey there mama, oil his surgical truss

    This could be a real money spinner , and eke out the pensions of McCartney, Jagger etc.

    I am so confident in this idea I might put Boggs Television Productions (Kentish Town) on to it. If really successful, I could even give up the porno division. It get’s harder and harder to wire up Liza’s tits so they don’t sag to her knees and Yvette Cooper is threatening to sue me for the bow legs she is developing, due to overwork on Lammy’s big dick.

    • I was at the Free Trade Hall in the sixties, listening to Barenboim conduct Bruckner 4. Also had the privilege to sit on the front row listening to du Pre playing the Dvorak in the first half. After the interval, I went into the circle for a better acoustic for the Bruckner and was fortunately able to sit behind Jacqueline. During the symphony, Daniel happened to let his baton slip from his hand, just where I previously sat. What a souvenir that would’ve been. But still preferred to sit behind his wife. Bet he gave her some stick to that night.

  12. I would tend to agree, until you compare it to what passes for music being churned out. If they’re still writing new music, I’ll take the has beens every time.
    Except the Stones, they’ve always been shit.

  13. The Rolling Stones died with Brian Jones in my opinion. The clue came when they replace him with something that looked like death warmed up, at the time.

    • Mick Taylor was brilliant, he left the Stones because they were good enough.
      But I agree, never liked them after the 60’s.

      • Mick T now says he left in 74 because he didn’t want to end up like Keef and heroin was all over the place back then. Taylor himself had a bad habit in those days. Jagger and Richards also shafted Taylor on the songwriting. They were cunts to Jones and they were cunts to Taylor. Ronnie Wood ‘knows his place’ more. So they leave him alone.

      • Let’s face facts,MT took the band into the stratosphere musically with his tasteful fret work and got fairly scant financial recompense from his singer ?

  14. Looks like every post I make is going to moderation, to see if it should be censored or not.
    What’s the point?
    Shadow banning works

  15. They will still do it because thick cunts pay to listen to shit.
    Remember the rock and roll mantra-

  16. Do you think Sheeran will be spoken of in the same way in 50 yerars? Probably not. He is an example of how shit today’s “music” is. Would the S3x Pistols be allowed to happen now? Definitely not.

      • Jesus H. Christ Ron! Never heard the twat before but that stuff in the link was worse than I expected even. Truly painful. Is all his stuff that bad? If folks pay to be subjected to that it just confirms the truth of the idiom about money and sense.

      • My dog that was truly appalling, dripping in ‘Auto-Tune’ artefacting, how old are this pair o’ knobbers? supposed to be adult males? looks like a clips reel from Sesame Street or something. Talk about arrested development.

    • Rock ‘N’ Roll is dead because of twats like Sheercunt, Lewis Capaldi, Georg Ezra and that freak Sam Smith.

      I remember when our top rock stars were David Bowie and Marc Bolan. Now it’s a soulless ginger bollocks accountant and a fat cunt who dresses in women’s duds. As I said, well and truly dead.

    • Sex pistol? I doubt Oasis would be allowed to perform if starting over again with the attitude they had.
      They weren’t shocking, just a bit mouthy and irreverant. Still too much for the corporate straightjacket of today’s ‘entertainment’.

    • I’d never heard his stuff until curiosity got me with his court case recently.Way much worse than i envisaged.Utterly,insipid,lifeless,pension-plan pap.

      He should stick with buying up half of East Anglia.

  17. I was in a bar the other night and they were playing a Michael Jackson CD.

    It was fucking dreadful.
    I can’t imagine why he was popular in the 80’s.
    His music has not passed the test of time.

    Thoughtfully he has done the right thing and carked it.
    I bet that he would still be recording and touring today if he wasn’t dead.

    The cunt.

    • Overrated and overhyped as fuck, Artful.

      Thriller is mostly shit. And it’s dire title track is only well known because of its ridiculous and overlong video. Off The Wall was better, but he went downhill very fast. After Thrilller everything he did was the same. The same hiccuping and ‘Eek’ noises in every record, shouting like a mong on smarties, grabbing his knob all the time, and the kiddie star guests like MacCauley Cokehead and Corey Thingy in his videos. Well, say no more…

      • Yeah that grabbing the knob thing was a bit, well, bizarre, and rather tasteless.

  18. I used to enjoy going to see Dickless and Babes in Toyland in the 80s. Old maids now I imagine.

    • Saw Sonic Youth in London. Liked to have shag the lass for some reason, even though looking like an old boot in the eighties.

      • Kim Gordon was always too skinny for me and she looke like a smackhead. I fancied shagging Kim Deal from the Pixies.

        And the things I’d have done to Natalie Merchant of 10’000 Maniacs? A saucy schoolteacher if ever there was one.

      • Natalie was a little minx in her day.

        ‘In My Tribe’ was a great album, and some of her solo stuff’s good as well.

      • I followed Natalie Merchant to get her autograph, unfortunately she nipped into a cafe and appeared to be talking to friends. I waited until she came out. Natalie drew a profile of a face and signed it. She then asked was I coming to see them that evening. All of a flutter, I simply answered yes.

  19. Maybe they can’t think of anything to do in their golden years and their egos are so big that they don’t realise they look shite.
    What do isac members do on retiring? Any top tips if I ever get there?

      • That was like me in the 70s, 80s and 90s, Ron.
        Only with me it was go on the Stretford End.

  20. The Stone Roses had the right idea ten or so years ago. Get together. still under 50 (just), still look cool enough. can still play, do the tour, get the dough and then piss off. Everyone knows they are the most awkward and most ‘can’t be arsed’ band in the world, so the fact that the Heaton Park gigs happened at all is still quite remarkable. Even before those gigs they were at it. In Amsterdam when Brown said to the audience after a Reni no-show, ‘The drummer’s a cunt!’

  21. Weighing in again, the best live concert I’ve ever been to was to see The Pretenders in 2017. £45, it was.

    Chrissie Hynde can still hold a note and was wickedly funny with the audience. The band and venue operated a strict “no phones” policy, to extent CH told some bloke with an iPad to “get fucked” if he carried on.

    Old school. Lovely stuff, actually.

      • My best ever gig? Has to be Joy Division in 1979. Curtis was a force of nature on his day. Untouchable and unstoppable.

      • Saw great gigs by The Jam and PiL back in the day. That Levene and Wobble PiL line-up was great live. And John was on great form.

        I’ve been invited to see Kiss at the Manchester Arena on July 7th. If Ace Frehley was still in the band, I might consider it. But Ace and Peter pissed off ages ago, and now they are just the Gene Simmons at Disneyworld experience.

    • Ten Years After at Brum Town Hall was certainly the loudest concert I’ve been to. Don’t think my hearing was ever quite the same after.

      • Coincidence Ron! We were at that one. Took my hearing a couple of days to return. Only time I experienced sound so intense and painful was standing in front of a taxiing Concorde when the blade tips on the Olympus engines went supersonic.

      • Blimey arfur I couldn’t even tell you what year that was, it’s so long ago!

      • Nor me Ron but it was some time before we were married so it was well before August 74.

        Update; my Missus reckons it was Monday 4th October 1971!

      • Got my old brain grinding away now Ron. Do you remember Mothers, the club operated on the first floor of the church hall on Erdington High Street, in it’s day reckoned by the cognoscenti to be the leading musical venue outside London? My mother-in-law managed the shop on the ground floor below the club from 1937 until 1980. I still had my purple and yellow Mothers club membership card years later but it’s lost now sadly.

  22. I agree that they should pull a shawl on and doze but look at the shite that we have now. I would rather se Daltry and Townsend shuffling about that Sheeran or the rest.

  23. Anyone remember seeing a band before they were Famous?
    Saw UB40 at Rotherham show
    And Def lepard late 70’s doing a college gig

    Both before they made records or onto the telly.

    • UB40 at the time ?

      We all feel as young as we did. That’s why these groups carry on. So long as they avoid the dressing room mirrors.

    • I saw Shaking Stevens and the Sunsets (if they count) and Texas.

      Texas gig was virtually ruined by persistent sound problems.

    • U2 at the long gone Beach Club in Manchester, 1980. Good before Bonio’s arse and ego blew up later.

      The Stone Roses several times from 1985-1988. Asbsolute shite at first, Goth crap, Mani joined on bass and they improved greatly.

      Happy Mondays from 85 to 89. Bez beating up six NF skinheads single handed in Blackburn.

      Every other cunt tells me they were that Pistols Free Trade Hall gig in 76. 99.9% of them are, of course, talking bollocks.

  24. Macca please do one and take your fucking Hofner bass guitar with you. I’m sick of the sight of it.

      • I don’t give a monkeys where he goes. Just do it and take with you Elton, Mick, Rod, Keef, Eric and all the other mummified remains from the 60s & 70s.

    • Macca can go eat a dick but Hoff semi acoustic basses do have a very unique and soulful tone to them … in the right hands … in the right song…

  25. These ageing rockers should just sit back and enjoy the royalties from sales of their studio recorded albums, which to me, always sound far better than live performances.

    • Indeed. Write one ‘Yesterday’ and you can retire to the West Indies for life.

      It’s what I’d have done anyway.

  26. Cliff Richard; The Blue Sapphire Tour 2023-24 anyone?

    Prices start at £68 in London, up to £199 (zimmers £15 extra, wheelchairs £25).

    Incontinence pants on sale at £20 a pair. Bring your own heart medication.

  27. This needs saying,
    So I’ll be the one to say it.

    Paul.mcCartney was the most talented in the Beatles.

    And Mull of Kintyre is a fuckin great song.

    That crackpot cunt Lennon would of had Let it be full of that Japs shreiking and wailing.
    The druggie twat.

    I’m going to have Mull of Kintyre played at my funeral
    So there.

    • Well in that case mis, I’m not coming..

      Anything with bagpipes in it should erased immediately.

    • “And Mull of Kintyre is a fuckin great song.”
      I think you’re trying to start a keyboard war as on the Ukraine thread and CNN TV news and Donald Kerplunk, er, Trfump thread.

      • Always used to laugh when Mull was performed on TV. Linda would sit between Paul and Denny. Looking miserable as sin and doing fuck all.

        I also hear Macca paid the Campbelltown Pipers Band next to fuck all as well. He always was a tight cunt.

      • Sounds like what she did in the kitchen, and who wouldn’t be miserable eating that tasteless shit.

    • McCartney ought to do time for Mull of fucking Kintyre. With Denny in the next cell. However, I will gladly perform it at Mis’s funeral. On the bagpipes. In my country cream tartan.

    • I’m no fan of Lennon,eithrr.
      He was a libtard hypo rite dipshit and bully.

      As for Macca, I think he really shouve retired before he wrote that twee, senile shite ‘Dance Tonight’. Who was that written for, his fucking budgie?

      • Lennon was a cunt for sure but his prowess with a tune can’t be bettered-Norwegian Wood,No Reply,Rain,Don’t Let me Down,Working Class Hero,’Everybodies Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey’… and tons more ?

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