Prince Harry (18) the Smack Head

“Good afternoon.

This is IsAC’s social affairs, health and royal correspondent Ron Knee speaking. Today I’m joined by a very special guest, none other than the privacy-seeking Harry, Dork of Nutfux, who has deigned to inform us on mental health issues by speaking about his own traumatic experiences”.

“Nice to see ya Ron dude! Hey, take a toke on this man, it’s some real good shit. Chillax bro. Er say, how much is this gig paying?”.

“We’ll talk about that later. So you believe that by baring your soul about your mental health, you can be of service to the world? Please elaborate”.

“Well Ron baby, I had it bad growing up. Real bad. *inhales smoke deeply* I came from a broken home. Daddy wouldn’t buy me a bow-wow. He never hugged me, or let me cuddle his teddy bear. Mummy deserted me. All I have left of her is her special cream, which I rub on my little blue todger at night to remind me of her”.

“Dear me. So how did all this neglect actually affect your mental state?”.

“Well I was a mess dude. Can you imagine what it’s like for your own brother to get a bigger sausage than you? I took to bullying the hired help at my prep school, kicking my polo pony, shagging in a field behind a pub, killing ragheads in Affers, shit like that. In an effort to block it all out, I took to getting pissed in a big way. Then
I discovered coke and weed, and magic mushrooms. Man, those smokes really cleaned the windscreen of my mind. I can now see myself clearly for what I am; a victim”.

“Indeed. And I assume that your selfless wife has also helped you on your journey of self-discovery”.

“Oh man, that woman is remarkable; so concerned for others. She encouraged me to spread my wings, to flee the persecution of my family, and to isolate myself with her in California. She’s helped me to explore my inner self. She’s shown me all the things that are wrong with my head, how I’ve been abused and neglected by the world, and how by trashing my family, I can begin to heal”.

“Yes, and no doubt it was the delightful Meghan who also showed you how you could monetise your pain”.

“Well hey, a fella’s gotta turn a buck to survive. I got a Hollywood lifestyle and a high-maintenance wife to maintain. Say, speaking of which…”.

“Okay, here’s a quid; fifty pence for a cuppa tea, and fifty pence for your trouble. Now fuck off, you self-absorbed, arrogant, grifting little shit”.

“Jeez man, you really do need to chill out. Fuck, I’m outta here…”.

Express News link

Nominated by Ron Knee.

82 thoughts on “Prince Harry (18) the Smack Head

  1. Theres a conservative group in America calling on the US government to answer questions about Harry’s visa application.
    And did he lie on the question

    A) do you or have you ever taken drugs?

    The fact he’s recorded himself bragging about it makes it obvious he has.

    I’d love the ginger cunt to get deported 😄

    But those rules are for us.
    Different if your famous and rich.

    • If the little bleeder got deported he would probably come back to the UK and with his half-caste wife and her strap-on become Labour MPs – who’d replace Kweer and who’d replace Rayner? – in both cases it seems to be the women who have the balls, but the men tell more outrageous lies. He’d probably tell us daddy couldn’t afford to pay the phone bill.

  2. Harry Hewitt is a national fucking disgrace. For somebody that wants privacy he’s got a funny way of going about it. As for his cunt wife……
    Don’t get me started

  3. Half-Wit (personal pronouns Spare/Heir) has completely discredited himself in his book.

    We have been drip fed revelations about his frostbitten penis, taking magic mushrooms, his use Mystic Meg to contact his late mother, having intercourse with a horsey slapper behind a pub and having his butt slapped by her, fighting with his brother during which Harry fell ass-first into a dog’s bowl, having his girly-beads broken by his brother in said fight and various uninteresting and bland revelations which no one cares about. His reputation, never very high in the first place, has now been shredded. The US should certainly deport him as an undesirable druggy alien – but then we would have to take him back. I suppose he could go and join Shamima Begum.

    Now South Park is taking the piss out of him and Nutmeg and their “World Privacy Tour”. They will never recover from that. Rather like Gordon Brown, overnight he’s become Mr Bean – or Prince Bean.

  4. He could volunteer for the Russian army?

    As for sparkle tits,she could run Sista space now that Marlene Headley (Ngozi Folani) has fucked off.

    • Marlene only has herself to blame. Her antics brought her charity to the attention of the Charity Commissioner and they uncovered “irregularities”. Probably thousands of pounds of charitable donations used to purchase fake Africunt gear.

      • In regards to Marlene!!!
        Her pseudo Katanga costume was from all over.
        Ghana here
        Uganda there
        Nigeria round the back
        Sierra Leone upfront

        All made in china.

    • Has Rat-tails Headley actually lost that sinecure then? Is she being investigated by the Charities Commission or the rozzers?

      It’s all a bit murky and I’m not quite sure what’s actually going on.

      Anyway, she’ll probably get a book deal to write ‘My Story As a Victim in Racist Britain’, and a regular spot on breakfast telly.

  5. Chimp boy Charlie needs to sort him out via a special visit to a French Tunnel.Twat.

  6. ” Stop looking at us ! ”
    ” Leave us alone ! ”
    Fatal car crash imminent.
    Or, ‘ murder / suicide ‘
    Good morning.

      • Oompah Windbag, another in the line to get ‘Markled’. I see that she’s carefully trying to distance herself a little bit now from those two clowns, but Migraine really made her look like a bit of a fool.

        Couldn’t happen to a nicer person.

    • Thanks Sick. I have to vent my disdain at these two airhead arseholes on here once in a while.

      ‘South Park’ has holed them below the waterline, but somehow they’re still afloat. Truly the turds that will not flush.

      Morning all.

      • Hehe, the American public will forget them very quickly, their usp is wearing very thin now.

    • It should be stapled into the front of every copy of “Waaagh”, which my local Waterstone’s has in window at 1/2 price. I shall wait until the squitters are upon me, then go and defecate over a huge pile of the offensive, unsold tomes.

  7. Well done reporter Ron, hysterical and accurate at the same time, i think you have a weekly round up of all thats currant in the world news and meeja, a kind of bare bones approach that these hard done by slebs have to enjure everyday of their difficult lives, i have some ideas to get you going –
    DonaldTrump and the plight of the small entrepreneur
    Katey Price , advise on alcoholism, car insurance, difficult kids.
    Prince Andrew, avoiding covert phot,s video and court summons.
    There are so many to choose from, the world is your lobster

    • Thanks Fug.

      I could actually churn out a couple of ‘interviews’ a week at least, but I don’t want to bore by repetition.

      I tend to post a fair bit as it is; I promise myself to restrain myself, but then something else just gets my goat and I’m off again…

  8. I think he’s just upset that Randy Andy never took him to Pizza Express or allowed him to join him on those hedonistic island parties laid on by Epcunt.

  9. I am unable to understand why Hewitt has found in this position. Surely he was surrounded by advisors in his formative years who told him how to make semi sane decisions which would have kept him out of the clutches of gold diggers .

  10. I’m not saying my great, great, great, great, grandmother was a gold digger, but she did move to California in 1849.

  11. Unbelievable that destructive alcohol is legal and shrooms are class A.
    Most mainstream people know next to nothing about them, tar them as bad, like cheap coke, and spew ill-informed rhetorical nonsense.
    If most people tried shrooms, the world would be a significantly more enlightened and wonderful place.

    • Morning Thomas.

      I suppose that it’s just historical circumstance to a large extent. If alcohol and tobacco had been discovered last week, they’d probably be made illegal too. Then the government would have to tax fresh air instead.

      • I would have agreed a few years ago, then vape came along. Pineapple flavoured emphysema anyone?

      • I worked up until recently, with a couple of young lads who had never smoked yet were heavily into vaping.


      • The specific reason they’re class A is the pharmaceutical industry. They know full well that shrooms will cure depression, PTSD and will help with other neurodegenerative diseases such as Parkinsons and dementia by resetting and improving flow of neurotransmitters (seratonin).
        But there’s no money in curing folk…better to keep them on SSRI-based antidepressants for years.

      • The side effects from SSRI’s are absolutely horrible yet the doctor’s don’t seem to see it as too much of a problem. (In my experience)

        I ill advisedly took the things many years ago for a 12 month period and the side effects stayed with me for a good 18 months afterwards.
        Brain zaps and vertigo symptoms which just seemed to go on forever.

        I would honestly advise anybody against SSRI medication.

      • I’ve often wondered how this could treat depression. if you’ve had a bad trip, or seen others having one, it isn’t fun.
        And, being a babbling loon isn’t quite effective in the workplace or a driving aid!
        An amazing experience in the right company, and in the right frame of mind.

  12. Hewitt really is a pathetic little knobhead isn’t he? Thick as fucking shit. First he allows Sparkletits to wind him round her little finger, now he’s got these fake head doctors convincing him that he has problems. Oh poor me I am so troubled, nobody understands me. Fuck off prickface.
    The cunt should have stayed in the Army, shooting up Peacefuls and shagging posh birds left right and centre. What a dumb wanker.

    • With the Palace pr machine continually covering his many indiscretions. He really had it all, and pissed it away for the world’s biggest grifter.

      Dumb wanker indeed.

    • Stay in the Army? They didn’t want the stupid little ginger cunt in the first place. His aptitude scores were too low to even get him in the rank and file soldiery let alone officer training. When the worthless shit turned up to the classes he cherry picked, the officer cadets mercilessly taunted him by calling him ‘Hewitt’. He was actually filled in a couple of times but surprisingly it was hushed up. Failed time and time again the Apache pilots exams and when in Afghanistan he caused so many issues because of entitled, arrogant cunt behaviour he was sent home after two SBS operatives were going to give him a fucking leathering after he threw a tantrum. In an alleged 10 years service the gobby, whining bastard put in about 1 year in total!

      • I know it’s a worn out old cliche, but I genuinely cannot reveal my sources. I have a lifelong friend who to say he is close to the action would be an understatement. I’ve never known him to lie about anything, and the expression on his face on the very rare occasions that he talks about Hewitt, kind of underlines that he’s not spinning a yarn.

  13. I am naughty for changing the subject but I thought I was having a nice mornign until I say this on Ali Baba Beebie:

    Ramadan: London’s West End lit up for Islamic festival for first time

    I live on the suburbs of London and therefore pay an additional charge in my monthly bill which goes to the GLA (Greater London Authority).

    Cunty son of a daki bus driver (not the son of a preachers man) probably sanctioned and authorised the money for this.

    I am utterly disgusted by this and think it is a total fucking piss take. We’re all feeling the pinch so to have this commissioned at a time when bills are higher is a total joke – fuck you London said Khan, the Daki’s need to be considered.

    Secondly, do these cunts from their curry lands EVER celebrate anything western.

    Can you imagine Oxford St. style Xmas lights trailing around Dakistan – I think not.

    I’ve give a good clap and hoorah for anyone who cut these lights down.

    • Let’s hope there’s a member of ISIS wandering around the West End with a machete and declaring these lights un-Islamic.

    • Our globalist overlords will only be happy when they have a full on state of war yet they have the fucking audacity to lecture us on zero carbon. Look what the cunts are doing!!!! Ukraine must be one of the most polluted places outside of East Palestine Ohio after 12 months of ordnance getting chucked about.

      Referendum NOW.

      • “…Ukraine must be one of the most polluted places outside of East Palestine”

        …and now they’re contemplating/actually shipping depleted uranium shells to Ukrime… so that’ll help… not!

      • You know that. As long as we all shut the fuck up and spunk 30k on electric noddy cars everything will be alright though. Where’s Greta now eh? I notice she hasn’t said Jack shit about the ecological carnage this shit in THE Ukraine is causing let alone the suffering.

  14. I hope they do turn up at jug ears circle wank.
    Smegan is universally loathed by the staff there and she will be fully aware of that loathing.
    It will be uncomfortable as fuck for her, him ? He’ll probably just suck his thumb and pout.

  15. I won’t be watching Charlie getting his new headgear, but if the gruesome-twosome appear, duct taped (mainly their mouths) to chairs and paraded on high, I might take the occasional look in.

    • Whether the twat and his yacht girl turn up or not, I’m sure they’ll find some way to make it about them.

      I love the way they’ve said that they’ll come IF their demands are met. In the meantime, they play ‘will they won’t they?’ with the meeja.

      What a colossal pair of cunts.

  16. They need to be collected from the airport by Abdul Al Ghote Fackr’s taxi service.

  17. These two have redefined irrelevance.

    The only thing left for them is to release a sex tape. I can see it now…

    Meghan Pegs a Prince…an Arsewell Production

  18. Harry Hewitt boasted that he shot up a load of Talibanjos. It wasn’t exactly during a bayonet charge though was it? Fucking miles away he was. More than likely hovering a few feet above his heli pad waiting for his batman to finish cooking his swan toasty.

    • The dumb cunt didn’t even know he shot them. He thought he was playing a video game from deep inside his underground Royal Bunker. When his bodyguards realized he somehow managed to get to fire control they dragged his ginger ass away and locked him in his safe room.

      Imagine the relief Command felt when they realized he didn’t kill any friendlies. Especially since there were no Yanks around to blame it on.

      • I think there are probably quite a few soldiers who could tell some stories about what actually happened where the Hero of Helmand was concerned, but they’d probably be shat on from a very great height if they tried.

      • You’re absolutely right, Ron! But don’t worry, sooner or later the gloves will come off and the ginger turd will be right in the crosshairs! I absolutely fucking live for that day, I really fucking do!!!

      • We can but hope!

        I reckon that this twat’s a grade ‘A’ fraud with an oh so carefully crafted ‘legend’ as le Carré would have called it.

  19. Our globalist overlords will only be happy when they have a full on state of war yet they have the fucking audacity to lecture us on zero carbon. Look what the cunts are doing!!!! Ukraine must be one of the most polluted places outside of East Palestine Ohio after 12 months of ordnance getting chucked about.

    Referendum NOW.

  20. oops, dunno what happened there. DA – Can you delete please, double post

  21. There’s talk about Gingerbollocks being kicked out of Yankland for bragging about his consumption of illegal drugs. Sounds like bullshit to me, won’t fucking happen. Besides…….we don’t want the cunt back here! Haven’t we got enough of the world’s useless fucking wankers? Hewitt is Border Farce’s one and only success story for fucks sake.

    • Hey Freddie,

      First let me say that I agree with you…it won’t happen.

      US Immigration law does have regulations governing the use of illegal substances and/or the admission of their use. A non citizen can be denied entry, have his Visa revoked or even deported for illegal substance use or abuse.

      Cannabis, while legal in many US states is illegal at the Federal level and they control immigration. I believe only one US state has legalized psychedelic mushrooms but the same Federal control applies.

      Hazbeen and Nutmeg have lost a good deal of their support in America after the brilliant South Park parody. Beyond that, many American entertainment journals claim they are absolutely toxic in Hollywood after all the “dirt” Hazmat dished out in Spare because the general feeling is they can’t be trusted.

      But beyond his admitted drug use there is another matter relating to the Internal Revenue Service and regulations surrounding his time in America and income earned during that time which may be taxable under US law.

      That could prove a bigger problem.

  22. I hope he does. But it just shows how clueless he is. Any ordinary person would realise that things could not go well, legally, if they make an admission of recreational drug use. But Halfwit is so used to living in a gilded cage and to not thinking that it didn’t even occur to him. Spazz.

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