Julio Cesar Bermejo.


Peruvian Perv who just Luvs his Mummy

Julio Cesar Bermejo. This sad tosser has been caught in bed with an 800 year old Peruvian Mummy (wait while the LGTBQ+-mob come up with the appropriate pronoun).

“At home, she’s in my room, she sleeps with me. I take care of her”

Julio is a rather confused lad and in need of pronoun assistance not least because the object of his/its affections is actually male. We do not speculate how Julio achieves satisfaction but it must involve a bucket load of KY Jelly. Taking a squint at the pervs boat race I get the distinct impression that he is well on the way to mummification himself. “There is no greater love than this” as the poet says. Keeps the object of his affections in a foil lined pizza delivery backpack so she can travel with. Touching but mistakes can be made.

“Ere wasiss you cunt. I ordered a Chicken Pharaoh fully loaded so where’s me extra toppings innit?”

Never having had the horn for desiccated people (no not even Twiggy in my day) so granted I may be missing out on something but Cleopatra? Nah. Tutankhamun?. Nah. Queen Hatshepsut? Nah. Not a twitch of me haemorrhoids. Possible explanation for archaeologists obsessively digging the desert sands though. Crawling up dank narrow tunnels inside Pyramids? Very Phallic Pharaoh.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke.

66 thoughts on “Julio Cesar Bermejo.

  1. He says it’s his “spiritual wife” so he might not actually perform unmentionables with it. Although, to be fair it’s better looking than the average Peruvian woman.

  2. That’s what it feels like lying next to my wife sometimes 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

      • 😂It is a bit brutal, I couldn’t help myself. I’d been watching some old Mike Reid sketches last night, who was speaking about his wife and he came to mind when I saw this post.

  3. Date night at the museum.

    “Sorry you’re binned love, I’ve just seen a 500 year old stunner”.

    • Sex dolls are hard to find in Peru. So they have to make do with whatever they can dig up. But tricky getting the wrapping of though.

    • Not too much of leap in my neck of the woods, where lots of 70 somethings still visit their parents.

  4. Jesus fucking Christ wtf!

    I see he nicknamed her ‘Juanita’
    I’m guessing she has one tooth then.

  5. Will the tomb raider be up for cereal rape, even though his “morning glory’s” were out of date ?

  6. What does a mummy say after telling a bad joke?

    I’ll get my wrap !

    …I’ll get my coat.

  7. Ho ho, this looks like a South American version of my question yesterday about the dryness of post-menopausal wimmins’ fannies!
    This cunt looks like a Peruvian version of Dobby the house elf.
    Paddington Bear’s Darkest Peru-located Great Aunt Lucy ought to be careful…who knows to what depth this miscreant would sink?
    Mature bespectacled bear clunge.

    • Vaseline is the cure for that. Don’t get mixed up with Vic’s Vapour Rub, causes all sorts of problems of you grease her up with that.

    • Imagine the biltong you could make from Katie Price’s well-worn fanny flaps, BZ.
      Mind you, who’d want to eat cannibal biltong that tasted of Harvey spunk?

      • Reminds me of that cow vaginas recipe vid link that was posted not so long ago.
        If the food crisis gets really bad, they’ll make calamari out of Stormer’s arsehole.

    • He’s the south American version of president Macron.

      Raiders of the lost arse.

      • Yeah Macron will marry her so he can claim her pension for the last 700 years. Put that with the money we pay him for his dinghy vermin and he’ll be the richest man in France.

      • Looks like another entrant for the ‘bizarre sex’ category.

        (I’m assuming of course that some sort of interaction of that fashion does actually occur now and then…)

        Afternoon all.

  8. The cunt nominated looks like a corpse himself – a victim of the amateur embalming hobby of Dame Kweer.

  9. Ugly bastard-his first time.
    Still stops him being rapey, hopefully.

    -Peruvian nose flutes
    -pan pipes

    Jesus-what a cuntry 🥺

  10. A digression.

    I believe Had-a-boy-whore, has retired. Another thick footy pundit destined for stardom.

  11. To be honest he looks older than the 800 year old Peruvian Mummy that he’s having rumpy pumpy with.

  12. The boys reached his peak.

    I’ll get my pyramid.

    Will anybody give me a lift ?

  13. ‘If it’s got a fanny and a pulse…well, the pulse is optional’.

    The Jimmy Savile Giant Book of Jokes.

  14. I heard that Tony Blair had a wife swapping party and this cunt and his bird were the only ones who turned up.

    • Cherie Blair disgusts me. The only takers would surely be the intellectually stunted or morally repugnant. She looks like leftovers from a Royston Vasey social club rummage sale. She needs to meet a real-life Maggie Blackamoor, and feel that all-enveloping warmth.

      • Imagine that gurning, giant grinning mouth descending towards your terrified knob, HBH…😵‍💫

      • Julio is going to be the laughing stock of the village when she leaves him for a older man.

      • Fuck me?!!
        I’ve just read the link.
        This mummy is a daddy!!

        His spiritual girlfriend is actually a corpse of a 40 odd year old bloke!

        4ft 11?

        Like Sammy Davis Jr.

      • So he’s gay then? That changes everything, now he is so brave and courageous and you’re not allowed to take the piss.

        No hate speech ok?

  15. This fella doesn’t look like he has much success at the local dance hall, so what’s he expected to do? We’ve all been at that stage where a wank just isn’t good enough. I’m not going to criticize his choice of partner, I haven’t shagged an eight hundred year old dead body. For all I know it might be fun.

  16. Give the man a break, it was the only way he could stop Katie Price hitting on him.

      • Hey Freddie,

        Put Joe next to the mummy and you wouldn’t be able to tell who was sniffing who.

      • Old Joe gets on well with dead people General. That’s why they all vote for the cunt.

  17. Each to their own I suppose, surely the government’s antiquities department would have something to say? In the U.K. once it was established the mummy was male the pervy bastard would qualify for a two bedroom house and full benefits, plus his own float at the next pride event. Sometimes wonder if this adventurous spirit most humans have is really worth having though. If we got rid of all these cunts would our existence be more interesting.
    He does appear to care for his mummy which is something in his favour but really the fucking World is descending into new levels of fuckwittery by the day.

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