Living Off-Grid

Lives in the Wild – Ch5. Ben Fogle.(TV Programme – Day Admin)

Not really a cunting for Ben Fogle himself.
Mrs Cunter calls him “that posh twat” but despite him always wearing shorts I think that he is a good presenter and his programmes are entertaining.

He always gets stuck into any hard work that he is asked to do.
It’s a bit harsh to judge him on his Surrey accent and his predilection for showing his knees.

He goes to meet people that have allegedly decided to drop out of the rat race and live off grid. Day’s away from the nearest civilisation (Must be Sheffield then – DA).

But he never asks the very important question, “So here you are, with no electricity or Internet, two day’s walk from any living person. Tell me….. How did you hear about my programme and how did you contact the producers to be a part of it?”.

He meets people whose only contact with the outside world is an aged mobile phone, charged through a solar panel.

“So if you have turned your back on society who has your mobile contract, how do the monthly bills get paid or if it’s pay as you go, how do you top it up?”

There has to be a bank account somewhere.

“When you get a tooth cavity where do you go to get it filled and how do you pay?”

“How come that we are in deepest Alaska and you have just made me a coffee?”

I don’t believe for one minute that these people are truly off grid.

Many thousands of year’s ago people would have to live in those conditions, they would have to survive on berries, fruit and nuts, but they would have been sickly and die young.

The people that Ben goes to see are just scruffy dossers who live in ramshackle dumps because they don’t want to pay the majority of the bills that normal people get.

There is nothing brave or pioneering about them.

Ben, sort yourself out and start telling it like it is.
Expose these smelly, unwashed wasters for what they are.

Nominated by: The Artful Cunter

61 thoughts on “Living Off-Grid

  1. The milfy Doris above looks a bit too hot to be trapped in a tin hut with the wizened old Grizzly Adams.

    She’ll eventually get bored with the idea of living off grid with Worzel Gummidge and will shack up with a younger model with a big hard dick, a luxury house, a swish car and a bank balance to match.

    • Indeed Paul, note that nipple protruding through her tee-shirt.
      She probably invited the programme makers in so Ben could fuck her senseless while Grandad was out chopping logs.

  2. You make some very pertinent points Artful. No fucker ever asks these questions.
    And if they really want to go off grid – ditch the steam drive mobile! And is solar panels really off-grid?
    If every fucker went “off-grid”, we’d be backin the dark ages – stupid cnuts.
    And as for Fogle’s shorts (stupid twat), I can only think back to our school days – we couldn’t wait to get our first pair of long trousers and stop looking like a stupid pussy to our mates.

    • It has always been a source of great amusement to me how a lot of these sanctimonious off-gridder types living in their wee cloud cuckoo lands have to rely on technological crutches supplied by industries lurking out there in the big bad on-grid reality.

      There’s a youtube channel (there’s always a bloody youtube channel…) https://www.youtube.com/@primitivetechnology9550 – mostly silent, but the captions are a running commentary on what he’s doing.

      It’s more or less a living archaeology type experiment in how hard it is to implement very basic level technological developments from first principles in a truly off-grid setting, and this is even with the guy doing it having the advantage of already knowing what the end points are and the techniques required.

      It would be instructive to throw some of your average ‘off-gridder’ types into the same environment this guy is conducting his experiment in and see how well they fare.

    • I’d chuck Greta and all of her fucking supporters into this type of scenario and leave the cunts to die. Off grid for these wankers is only having 25% charge on their iPhone.

      • And they are oblivious to the fact that if all the oil-derived products (Just Stop Oil) did not exist, neither would their fucking phones!

  3. Looking through the episode list of past series some of these people were off-grid in Suffolk, Oxfordshire and Devon. Not exactly the Australian outback or the Utah badlands is it?

    Grizzly Adams with a Tesco club card.

  4. When we get down to net zero weโ€™ll all be living like this. Well, when I say โ€œweโ€ I mean the white, straight working class. The wokies, the immos and the poofs will go on safaris to marvel at our primitive way of life and take photos. Hopefully they will bring some food to bung our way. Fish and chips for me please poshboy. I can warm them up over the bonfire.
    Cunts.

  5. Off grid sounds childish. It makes me smile and stinks of yank.

    Didn’t Paul Whitehouse take the piss out of it on the “Fast Show” ?

  6. Ray Mears does something similar with his bushcraft survival programmes.
    Live in the wild do you, Ray? How come you’re such a fat bastard then?
    And one of his programmes was set in the Wye Valley! The Wye Valley for fucks sake, where he was probably tucked up at night in a nearby hotel and stocking up daily at the nearest Londis.
    Bushcraft survival my hairy arse.

  7. Didn’t Google get his telly break because his mother is some seventies actress celeb type..

    Can’t be fucking doing with him myself..like that other posh phoney twat bear arse grills…๐Ÿ’ฉ

    • I am not sure who his mother is but I was in a bag factory in London once talking with the owner. Two nice Golden Retrievers appeared in the office and as I always prefer dogs to people the meeting was interrupted. Ben’s sister Tamara then walked in to find her dogs. Seriously hot and nice lady.

  8. I’m of two minds on this.
    Hell is other people
    And modern life is rubbish.

    I see why they do it.

    But they all seem to be posh cunts.

    Ben ” luckily Jacintas auntie gave her ยฃ800,000 and she bought her own few acres of ancient woodlands”….

    Alright for some.
    I’d be drinking out of bird baths and chiselling up chewing gum to eat.

    Ps
    Ben Fogle loves his legs
    He’s like Roy castle with that trumpet.

    Any excuse to get into shorts an show off his legs!!

    Like a fuckin Tiller girl.

    • “Alright for some.
      Iโ€™d be drinking out of bird baths and chiselling up chewing gum to eat.”

      But how would it be any different for you MNC? ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

      The reality is that for most of us it would be less like The Good Life and more like The Road

      • Oh yes and the fine female in the header picture, I’d like to spend some time in her “outback” and mooch around in her bush. ๐Ÿ˜‹

  9. Oi, Day Admin, I lived in Sheffield for 20-odd years and it’s a great place although, I must admit, it has the feel of ‘the city that time forgot’. Shell-suits and mullet haircuts are commonplace.

  10. I’ll be off grid when I kick the bucket. Meanwhile I assimilate and enjoy some modern luxuries and conveniences. I like hot water, working toilets, air-conditioning, and refrigerators.
    So does the wife.

  11. Going back to nature with all this “off grid” bollocks. They’re not really going back to Nature at all because they know as soon as things go tits up or they become bored with the same old routine. they’ll say “fuck this for a game of tiddlywinks, I’m off down the boozer for a curry, naan bread and 15 pints of John Smiths’, while I update everyone on my various social media platforms on my iPhone and tablet”

    It’s very well being sanctimonious when you know full well you have a Plan B.

  12. I view off grid as:

    -energy independence-wood burning biomass/ solar /photo voltaic / battery back up and a generator
    -own water supply and filtration plant
    -orchard
    -vegetable garden
    -fruit cages
    -polytunneks
    -woodland

    Most importantly-privacy-from snooping cunts๐Ÿ‘

  13. I enjoy watching various YouTube channels where people have tried to take agency-a common thread is they are all still very dependant on society, for everything bar the basic fundamental needs.

    As mentioned above by others, Jacinta with her acres of woodland in Suffolk will probably suffer from PTSD, the second Waitrose local closes down ๐Ÿ˜‚

    • Mainly puddled yanks worried about the government putting chips in their heads.

      Paranoid cunts who think hiding in a bunker stockpiling ammo is the answer.

      Eat your tinned food and fuck off

  14. As a kid I liked the TV show Grizzly Addams.

    Thought in my little 8yr old nut

    ” he’s got it sussed.
    Living in the wilderness!
    Marvelous!”

    As a adult I’m aware that come winter I’d of either frozen to death or starved to death.

    And that in the pet world,
    A grizzly bear isn’t such a smart idea.

    But those ‘ mountain men’ were the real deal.
    Totally self reliant
    Off grid.

    But they were hard as fuck.
    And usually mental.

    Toby the bank manager who’s had a nervous breakdown tries to live like that he’s in big trouble.
    Raped off the grizzly bear.

    Modern folk are too soft.
    Can’t do it.

    That Robert Redford film Jeremiah Johnson (another childhood favourite)
    It was based on a real person,
    Liver eater Johnson.

    A mountain Man that scalped red Indians and ate their livers.

    Hard + mental.

  15. There have always been these kinds of people, those who try to live away from the tyrant king, the Communist dictator, or in our days, away from hipsters.

    Survivalists (1982)
    BBC documentary
    45 minutes
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iujfrHqiPQs

    So, even 40 years ago, people were panicking over fuck all like hysterical gay cunts. “The good old days! When men were men, people had common sense, before all the brown people invaded us!”. No.

    Today, it’s WAY WAY HARDER to live as an wilderness anarchist in 2023 for myriad reasons, the main one being that it’s hard to get peanut butter flavour vape oils in Jack London’s stomping grounds.

    One thing that might happen if the shit hits the fan is Brits moving to Tristan de Cunha, the tiny island off the southwest coast of Africa, a British territory. The thing stopping people from herding over there like 1939 Jews is that the internet is at 1997 levels and Amazon shipping costs ยฃ75 and take as long as a Beluga whale pregnancy.

      • It just looks so peaceful there. And it’s British territory. English language. It’s not an “African” land, not an “African” culture. It’s mostly British, it’s sort of like a Poundland Hawaii. I thought about moving there a few years ago and I will at some point when they get modern quality internet.

      • Get out there!
        Be a scout.
        Let us know what it’s like.

        What would you do for a living?
        Is there a economy?

        Introduce the kilt as national dress rather than the grass skirt!

      • Gordon @

        I’ve just looked it up.
        Live volcanic islands with some inbreeding?!!

        You forgot to mention that.

        Also to move there every resident has to vote YES to be allowed.

        Is a Scottish Flat Earther such a great fit?

      • What would he do for a living?
        Good question, MNC.
        I very much doubt the benefits system in Tristan de Cunha is as generous as that in the UK.

  16. Fogle is a cunt but as an ex GB junior rower I know that you donโ€™t row the Atlantic without being quite a mentally hard cunt. Especially not with that Cracknell mentalist cunt.

  17. Posted before about my apocalypse preparations (Fray bentos and potnoodles). The Wuhan institute of virus manipulation spy balloon fiasco got me refreshing my memory on EMP weapons of mass destruction. Would only take 2 nukes (one over europe and one above the US) on low earth orbit satellites to send the West back to the stone age. You can guarantee China, Russia and our American cousins have the capacity to derploy these. Best get another tin of corned beef. DYOR

  18. Hmmm, looking at that picture I reckon there’s a bit of uphill gardening there.

    Off grid my arse. I could stop being a cunt for longer.

  19. Always thought there was more going on with these off gridders. Always seem to have bog roll, Never have any stories about wiping their arse with poison ivy or some spikes local grass.

  20. One of my mates sent me a link to a kickstarter for an’Earth Ship’, a big wooden shed just outside – guess where – Brighton.

    I replied saying it looks like a scam. If it’s real, and if they ever finish building it, the cunts who live there will be at each others throats within a week. Too many middle-class twats who will never put in a shift and have no idea about making do and mending, let alone drainage or even planning permission.

    A complete crock of shite for spoon benders and crystal worshippers.

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