ITV (4) and ITVX App

And for my next CUNTING, I give you

Their so-called ITVX will not work on my pristine and excellent 6yr old Panasonic TV or PVR.

Having spoken to Panasonic, (a real human) ITV own the app, whose “improved update” has just frozen tens of thousands of us pleb cunts out of using their catch-up service.
Several brands are badly affected, inclusing mega-brands such as Panasonic, Hitachi, HiSense.

So I thought I’d give ITV a call via their Google listed number…. 03448814150 – to be met by the message that ITV no longer operate a switchboard for us pleb cunts and that everything must go through their webshite. So I did. Fucking useless and designed to keep the ITV corporate cunts as far removed from us pleb cunts as possible, just like every fucking cunt council, agency etc.

Found the correct contact, although most give up and fuck off into the void, not wanting to be arsed being messed around with. And they wonder why we despise them, worse, when we get annoyed, are accused of “bullying”. Corporate cunts to the core.
Here is the text of the email I posted on their webshite, I doubt if they’ll respond.

“In your infinite wisdom you decided to nix both my Panasonic TV and PVR so that we can no longer access the hub or “X” or whatever you wish to call it.

This has affected thousands of us who will NOT be replacing perfectly functional equipment, nor watching via a phone/tablet/Computer, as that’s the reason we have a TELEVISION.

I can tell you that Panasonic, HiSense and others are mightily hacked off, but as I see it the only loser is ITV as we use other apps, BBC iPlayer, All4 and channel five to name just three that still work perfectly on a 2016 TV.

Alternatively, send me a voucher for £799 for an up to date unit.

While on the subject of ITVX, who came up with your absolutely appalling, insulting, childish, mindless pile of equine excrement posing as an advert for your service, bombarding us mercilessly and that has me reaching immediately for the MUTE button (God bless the inventor of the remote control) so irritating that it puts me OFF of ITV, and I’m not alone.

I’m not surprised you no longer operate a switchboard, preferring as so many do, to keep us knuckle-dragging proles at arms length, treated like dirt.

Sorry guys, but you have shot yourselves in the foot. No more ITV catch-up, we’ll record stuff if we can be bothered, OR as is now happening, switch channels for alternatives, or, read a book, listen to a CD and leave the TV OFF.

WELL DONE for weaning us off of the TV and saving us the agony of so many of the truly ghastly “woke” adverts” now bombarding us.”

What a bunch of Corporate Cunts, they can now go fuck themselves with a dried barrel cactus.

ITV Website

Nominated by: Sheikh Anvakh

( More info here – Day Admin     Cordbusters Link  )

85 thoughts on “ITV (4) and ITVX App

  1. Maybe I’m not sure of the innermost workings of ITVX, but I manage to get it just by going on the internet, works perfectly for the rare occasions I watch ITV.

  2. A splendid email, your Sheikhness.
    I am in full agreement with your comment about the mute button. This invaluable addition to the remote control has saved me throwing something large and heavy (possibly even Mrs Twatt) through the TV screen on numerous occasions.

    • Holly Willoughby firing strawberry bonbons balls from her pussy into the mouths of the Man City team who are dressed as early 1900s babies, in pink and blue and at the climax, Jack Grealish dies of a frothing coke overdose.

  3. Idiot tv have been the bane of my life since its existence. If you count up the wasted time viewing adverts end to end before the remote control and eventual editing of recordings, a whole generation wouldn’t have watched a single programme.

    • I’ve never forgiven inept tv for showing a dubbed version of the classic French film “Le Chat” which started Jean Gabin and Simone Signoret. Besides not being able to listen to their unmistakable voices, the inept channel decided to use yankie voices. I laugh about it now and it was the 1970s.

      • remember in the 90s settling down to watch dirty harry in the enforcer on itv and the silly cunts had edited all the gun fights out

      • The beeb have a lot to answer for in the early days, when showing “Deliverance” and leaving out the bumfoolery and the swearing from “The Last Detail”. They out did themselves with “Dog Day Afternoon” by removing both from the above.

      • Thanks Gordon for your concern that I don’t get any interruptions whilst watching films. I no longer have problems due to finding 4 online film sites free of the vermin. They happen to be Bflix, M4HD, fastzer and rarefilmm. All cater my main interests, foreign films and British cinema.

      • I did forget to mention my problems with the commercial channels was 40 years ago. My gripe now is yankie subtitles on foreign films. Fortunately I have hundreds with the proper English grammar and colloquialisms to boot.

      • Bflix, M4HD, fastzer and rarefilmm.

        Haven’t heard of those ones, Sammy! I remember when pirate movie sites got shut down pretty pronto and the quality was awful, pixelated pish but these days there are LOADS of pirate streaming sites in 1080p/20bps and they don’t get shut down. I think they are based out of places like Tonga in the Pacific where no one will bother going to… yet. If the numbers get too big, the stormtroopers get send in.

      • For years, Seven Samurai was translated with “damn” in places but now is translated with “fuck” or it was a few years ago and that’s iffy.

        I watched a TONNE of foreign films from 1997-2007 but I haven’t watched many in the past few years. Czech films of 1958-1982 era are amazing, I loved those, totally surreal, subversive and sexy!

      • Anything with Anna Karina (RIP) in it will do me. Had the pleasure of meeting her when she came to the Manchester Metropolitan University when I worked there. Lovely woman.

      • 2 Entertain and the BBC do the worst DVD subtitles ever made. Amateur ones done on Youtube are better. The subtitles for Steptoe and Son, It Ain’t Half Hot Mum and Dad’s Army are absolute shite. They don’t even make any sense.

        Network – who have restored shows like Space 1999, Monty Python’s Flying Circus, The Professionals and The Prisoner – do much better subtitles.

      • Yeah, Anna Karina was something else, Norm…

        1 minute of sexiness

        I think that movies are slowly returning to being wild not woke, that was a flash in the (toilet) pan. Money talks and bullshit walks, as they say and no gay shit don’t PAY shit, so it’s back to making CRAZY SHIT! 😀

  4. Everything is pro phone/ pad app, or so it seems to me. An example is Virgin Credit Cards – I can’t look at my account on a pc, has to be an app now. Yes I know, Virgin, can’t wait to pay them off. There’s three levels of security to get through. What’s your customer number, what’s the random characters of your password and then what’s the random characters of your memorable word? If you try and reset it all, more fannying about trying to get into an old email account. Couldn’t be arsed with it, especially as they demanded mix of letters and numbers. They may have changed it to user name and phone authentication, but as I gave up with their particular form of Fort Knox, I’ve no idea. For my own safety, I know.

    • A face ID should on those logins. But those can be deep faked now. But not an anus. Every anus is unique, like a fingerprint. So do that, Big Tech. I want to see old ladies logging in to their Tesco account in Tesco by going legs akimbo and snapping their starfish while I look on. While we all look on. While KIDS look on.

      • @Cnutologist. 35 to 37 creases in your @rse? Imagine a university student telling their thesis advisor that they were intending writing a paper for their degree on that subject.
        It’s hard enough having a desperate dump in a crowded bogs when you’ve got a case of explosive sh!ts without the additional worry of a camera recording vision as well as sound.
        I wonder if a gerbil poked it’s head out of certain bent celebrities backsides would fool the recognition scanners?

  5. Not being able to access ANY ITV products is a bonus in my book.

    BBC aren’t fucking great, but all ITV do is look at an Idea on BBC, then bastardize it and dumb their version down for the Saturday night mouth breathers , I am quite happy to avoid it.

    BBc do breakfast tv….ITV then do GMB followed by Lorraine, then Loose women…..dumbed down .tv for drunk bored housewives and the unemployed.

    ITV has no redeeming factors……popcorn tv. Actually makes BBC look good. .

  6. Mrs Gripper has been ranting over this for weeks.
    She likes to watch cack like “classic” Coronation Shit and “classic” Emmerdrivel.
    Fucking tripe that should have ended years ago, and the tapes destroyed.
    There was only ever one reason for me to watch a soap, and that was to ogle Malandra Burrows in Emmerdale.
    Now there was a young lady who would really make the spunk fly.

    • That has just reminded me of the first lesbo scene on Haemorrhoid farm when the two girls disappear into a bedroom. The credits start rolling and the tv announcer says “There’ll be a lot of tongues wagging tonight.”
      I often wonder if he kept his job.

    • Bob Dylan watches Coronation Street. Even as a hardcore Bob fan, a fan of his ultra-weirdness as well as his glorious choons, I found that utterly bizarre. He should do a cameo, where he murders Ken Barlow with a gigantic harmonica.

    • The Street was great in its day. But it should have ended for good in 1984, after the deaths and departures of several iconic characters and actors in the space of 12 months. From the 90s onwards, it was and is absolute piss. There is no ‘classic Coronation Street’ after the departures of Elsie Tanner, Annie Walker, Stan Ogden, Albert Tatlock and Ena Sharples. On the subject of soap totty, Elsie Tanner was my favourite MILF and Susie Birchall was also worth a tug or two…

      Emmerdale Farm was an afternoons only programme about a farming family in 1972. A far cry from the rapes, murders, plane crashes and incest of recent years. More absolute shite.

      • To liven it up, they should have wanking contests over pictures of Ena Sharples. First to shoot gets a shot on the show.

      • Bet Lynch was very doable in her early 70s heyday. She became a caricature later on, but she was great for the first ten years or so.

      • Just my look. I got Bet Lynch from time to time, due to living in Heywood. She spoke the slag Lancashire twang.
        At least I got to see Anna Karina under Godard.

      • I met Anna in 2001. It was this thing about French cinema at the MMU, and she very kindly took part in a questions and answers session. She also said that Godard was a cunt and that she wasn’t on speaking terms with him. A really down to earth lady and a class act.

  7. There’s an App for that 😂

    I keep getting asked if want to download the App of stay on the web, well I am on the fucking web so let’s just carry on 🤨

    On the subject of tech matters and cunts does anyone have an email or phone number for EBay customer services.

  8. As a home electronics professional I have clients that have such issues when a new streaming service comes along. Their existing TV won’t do the job. The best way to stream in this case is to add a cheap streaming box such a Roku. Done.
    You then are good for the next 10 + years.

    • I’m looking forward to seeing Zelenskyy and Putin being murdered by their own people at some point in Ultra HD, though. We could murder OUR glorious benevolent “leaders” too. Or just boycott them for the remainder of this decade.

  9. I gave up on the spaz-lantern about 5 years ago. These days I listen to music, listen to audio books or actually read one if I’m feeling old-school.

    YouTube, for all it’s questionable practices, is my go-to choice of video entertainment, news etc.

    ISAC too, obviously…..

    Mainstream telly can suck my withered, cheesy helmet.

      • Triggernometry, Douglas Murray, Andrew Lawrence, Bill Burr, Dankula.

        Plus various history documentaries, Bob Dylan and classic motor racing channels. All sorts of stuff really.

      • It’s always throwing up stuff of interest. I also like TalkRadio and old episodes of The Two Mikes on TalkSport. Those two were fucking brilliant.

      • I quite enjoy those YouTubers who tell me that the world is fucked up place with fucked up people in it, running it, as of course that NEVER happened before 2005 when YouTube was created! 😀

        A lot of these guys need to calm down. But they make money from ranting at the world, so good luck to the, just take them with a pinch of salt, or a FACTORY of salt.

      • The world is a beautiful as well as ugly place but the internet is biased towards the ugliness, media in general is biased towards UGLINESS.

        Nothing truly bad is happening to us right now. Yes, we have immigrants coming over and idiots in government and the Lizard Aliens are any minute now going to join Russia in destroying the Jews AND Nazis high on baby blood who run Ukraine, but… who cares, it could be worse.


      • Honkies all over Redneckia in 1962 must have IMPLODED at that Isley Brothers shamanic voodoo BLACK MAGIC!

  10. In a wider context this case makes the point that outside of defence and the emergency services it’s best for the consumer for as much business as possible to be in the private sector. In our time we have had several instances of some service we were using jacking up the price unjustifiably or making it more difficult to access. My wife gets annoyed and I always say the same thing; if they don’t want my money that’s fine, we just walk away. If Tesco annoy me I’ll go round Morrisons or Asda or whoever, fuck ’em. Older cunters will remember how BT treated their customers when they had a monopoly, basically if you didn’t like the “service” you could go do one. When a few years ago I wanted to change my cellphone the company I was with wanted £20 to do so. I literally walked across the street and got the phone I wanted for no money up front and a lower monthly fee.

    ITVX I never heard of and by the sound of it they will struggle to sell it to me.

  11. Dont bother with the catch up things because I cant sit through the blackverts. I record and wizz through the shite. Likewise the rugby. An hour of bullshit, often with girlies before kick off is too much to bear. Record and wizz.

    • ‘Likewise the rugby. An hour of bullshit, often with girlies before kick off is too much to bear. Record and wizz.’

      Excellent point, well made. ITV have that box-tickers delight Maggie Alphonsi as an ‘Expert’ on their Italy vs France coverage, for fucks sake. Our fucking Third XV could beat the best wimmins team in the world yet she’s spouting shite about the highest level???? Wax the car then fast forward the verbal diarrhoea when it’s recorded.

      • Well, that fucker went for a burton. A fucking bird commentating on the rugby? Shove it up your arse, IITfuckingV.

  12. UPDATE; I also found it easy to use the STV app on my 2016 Panasonic TV. Just register with a Scottish Postcode. There’s fuck all they can do about ait (at the moment).

    This is just a tiny foretaste of “you’ll own nothing, and be happy”, life on subscription, cut off at a keystroke should it take someone’s unaccountable fancy.

    I subscribe to NOTHING and instead have a huge range of DVDs, Videos, LPs, tapes, CDs, and of course books that we OWN.I also have plenty ot equipment to play these on, plus spares, mothballed, should the “latest” stuff not be backwardly compatible.

  13. Most venerable Sheikh, that is a BRILLIANT epistle. Sadly, I fear, wasted on the targets, who have a collective IQ lower than a slug’s bumhole.

  14. ITV are lazy fuckers. The Professiionals has been beautifully restored on DVD and Blu-ray. Yet those cunts at ITV4 are still showing the old and knackered version.

    The recent DVD restoration job on Worzel Gummidge is also superb. But Worzel won’t be seen on ITV any time soon, in case he offends some soft cunthead.

  15. ITV4 should repeat Tiswas, with the magnificent Sally James.

    It’s successor. the Saturday Show, wasn’t as good. But its presenter, Isla St Clair also gave me the horn.

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