Have finally decided to end being self-employed come the end of this financial year. I can’t be bothered with all the hassle, tick boxing, compliance and relentless taxation I have to look forward to over the next year or so.
I looked at applying for universal credit, but of course I have savings well over the £16k threshold, therefore I’m not entitled.
And neither can I be bothered applying for Jobseeker’s allowance because the money is pathetic and you’re constantly harassed by jobsworths that you’re “actively seeking work” (despite having worked and contributed over the last 40 years!)
Instead I’m going to live off my savings while my wife continues to work until such time we’re ready to make the move to emigrate later this year. (Our local councils in the Lake District, want to “welcome” a few thousand migrants from down South in order to “level up”.)
Quite a few of my other self-employed friends are of the same mind. They to are giving up their businesses not because they hate their jobs but because of this government’s hatred for us and free enterprise. It’s come to a point where living on benefits seems to be socially acceptable and no longer a stigma; while those of us who try to make an effort are demonised and penalised (as seen in the Autumn Statement last November).
It is also interesting regarding the massive shortages of plumbers, engineers, sparks, brickies and other traditional jobs that people depend on. Seems that the younger generation (some, but not all) are more invested in social media, influencing and just pissing about at university rather than taking on proper apprenticeships.
And even they do start a new job everything has to be on their terms and its rare they’ll put a proper day’s shift in without spending a few hours pissing about on their phones or going into meltdown over trigger words and micro-aggressions.
But going self employed is a definite no-no these days – the bureaucracy, especially with IR35, and the taxation on profits just isn’t worth the bother.
Nominated by: Technocunt
Supporting link from Sick of it
Those “few thousand migrants from down south” haven’t got here yet, they’re still in France. But they’re coming, don’t worry about that. Where are you thinking of emigrating as a matter of interest?
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Unless he’s going to another planet I can’t see it being any better anywhere.
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That’s what I thought. That’s why I asked.
7
We’ve been looking at Southern Ireland, Spain, Denmark, rural France and even the Isle of Man (or should that be “person”?)
They’re all a much of a muchness with their plus points and negatives. I quite fancy Ireland but the missus prefers Denmark.
We might just spend a few weeks /months in some or all of them just to sample each one before deciding.
1
Denmark has the best health system in the world.
I.OM doesn’t. It is like Ireland, with added scouser.
Southern Ireland-well, you will discover why it’s the “Emerald Isle”-pack a large umbrella and lose the English accent,
3
I lived in Denmark for 6 years.
Quality of life superb. Taxation a fucking nightmare.
Given the opportunity, I would move back there in a heartbeat.
2
Ask Nadhim Zahawi. Sunak and HMRC stuck their fingers up his ass, had a poke around and they came out brown and stank, not like roses as he was hoping for.
Another daki bites the dust.
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IR35, another random tax generator. Who is inside of it and who outside? Utter bollocks, make everything simple, tax on spending and up the minimum wage. Think of all the savings we’d make of the hmrc didn’t have to employ all those people.
13
To keep me occupied in retirement and make myself some pocket money I do a bit of part-time freelance work. I operate as a Limited Company. I don’t take a salary, but pay myself in dividends if the Company makes a profit.
A couple of years ago you could take up to £5000 a year ‘tax free’ in dividends. It’s now £2000, next year it will be £1000 and the year after £500, so a tenth of what it was. ‘Tax free’ is a misnomer anyway, because dividends are not deductible against Corporation Tax.
So from 6th April, 2024 if I pay myself more than £9.61 a week I will have to pay more tax on top of my company’s Corporation Tax.
All the work of the ‘Conservatives’, the party of free enterprise and self-reliance.
Spot on cunting, Techno.
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You wouldn’t think Labour could make it any worse but sure as God made little apples I bet they will.
I have been self-employed for the last 20 years as a commission agent for 3 European companies. I fall below the threshold for VAT registration but have to be VAT registered as I am paid in Euros. Filling in my quarterly return is a complete pain and takes at least a day.
The other thing that really annoys me is why don’t they roll up National Insurance and Income Tax into just one entity. That would be an easy way of simplifying the tax system.
9
If they did that then people would realise how much tax on their income they really pay.
So no, the two will never be rolled into one.
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And it creates more jobs for “inner party” pen pushers
7
Politicians are vermin and their ideas are shit.
Oven.
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I’m self employed, plus white and heterosexual.. shit the government must loathe me.
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I’m a grubby white, hetero, and self employed.
Bets are the government hates me too ?
That’s ok, I follow by example.
Nil tax paid this year.
Nice work Mr Zahawi👍
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COTY winners are tax-exempt for the year Miserable and I have heard whispers that you also get a little key to the private bathroom at Admin Towers with premium double quilted toilet paper and hot face towels too.
13
Now that would be nice that wouldn’t it LL?
Least they could do really.
All the research I put into my posts, fact checking,
Then correcting any spelling errors etc
Maybe some suitable reading material in the khazi too?
Viz. And Readers wives.
16
Get on OnlyFans Techno as a Sam Smith tribute act under a fake name and dodge the fuck out of it. Most of these onlyfan geniuses seem to do it. Seems to be a big market for watching people pissing in each others mouths now a days according to mainstream music channels.
9
Techno I can feel the defeat and sadness in your nomination. It is a tragedy and a travesty that those who wish to be productive and self reliant are being treated so poorly. The power hungry tyrannical cunts pushing through punitive policies for the productive are the lowest form of scum. It seems about time to move to a third world shithole to fill the vacuum left by them coming to the West. Maybe there productivity will be rewarded and money worth more. A few brown envelopes handed off should get you set up nicely.
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They take the piss in the UK.
I have always been self employed.
Never worked for anyone.
I remember paying £50 a month in self employed contributions for a ‘stamp’.
That was a long time ago and I have no idea what you have to pay now.
I am ‘autónomo’ here in Spain.
My contribution is on a sliding scale and I am currently paying a little in excess of 400 euros per month.
For that I have full access to the Spanish health system and on retirement I will receive a little over 3.000 euros a month as a pension.
I could have claimed a pension of about half that amount after working for 15 years.
Still more than a full UK pension after working a lifetime.
I enjoy my work. I have no intention of retirement while I am still capable of working.
I own my own limited company (sociedad limitada unipersonal) from which I can pay myself 1.500 a month tax free.
I don’t know how that compares to the UK but I am happy enough.
13
That sounds a bloody good deal.
8
Doesn’t it?
Nice one Arty.👍
6
What I don’t like is the government taking 21% of my turnover in IVA (VAT) and 20% of my profits in corporation tax.
Of course I claim back the IVA that I have had to spend, but I am still left with a huge bill each quarter.
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If you can prove (con) the right circumstances there is no point getting a job on minimum wage.
I don’t get why the government are going after share holders, cash ISA’s interest is tax free and you can get up to £1000 interest tax free on regular savings, so why are the cunts dropping the tax free allowance on shares to £500 (from £2000)
Cunts.
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How do you stand with not getting a dividend every year? I reinvest my dividends to get more shares every year. These are going between £15 to £17 pounds per share at the moment. Perhaps some enlightened cunter can put me right.
2
Good point, not sure on that, I guess if you reinvest your aren’t actually receiving the dividend.
2
I remember reading this nomination when Techno first posted it.
It saddened me then, it saddens me now.
We all knew that big governments prefer to tax us at source and therefore make being a small, self employed “sole trader” more difficult, year on year☹️
Is it because if massive scale of tax avoidance?
I know “black labour” in the UK -(and no, for once I am not referring to Abacus & Jaffa-Cakes Lammy) – is now on a huge scale and must cost the treasury £B every year.
Is it your particular part of the Lakes Techno? The West coast has suffered the brunt of austerity-perhaps a move to a more prosperous area like Kendal or Penrith would increase your business and quality of life?
Or perhaps like many of us, you are pissed off with being an unpaid tax collector.
Perhaps, with your skills and the right company, being employed could be just as or, even more lucrative🙂
14
Go work for the Chinese.
They’ll have you with your skill set.
Probably have you spying.
“Erro techno, rots of work for you.
You rike bat soup?
First you risten to amelicas.
You rike Jane’s Bong now !”
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@Mis
Did you see the boxing the other night?
Artur Beterbiev v Anthony Yarde for 3 of the light heavyweight belts in London.
Beterbiev is a fucking monster of a fighter.
Hard as nails Chechen who has KO’d every opponent he’s faced professionally.
Even beat Usyk as an amateur.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lmFmTKrNJWo
10 minute Highlights
3
No Herman.
Knew it was on but doing something.
Yeah heard he’s shit hot!
I’ll try and stream it later👍
2
Yeah Beterbiev is like a throwback to the late Marvelous Marvin Hagler.
1
Herman @
Just watched it while having my tea.
Jesus!👍👍
Hats off to Anthony yarde, he was game as fuck.
But Beterbiev is something else eh?
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Yeah he is awesome Mis 👍
He’s got a bit of everything
Skill
Chin
Stamina
Power
Menace – and fuck me has he got that in abundance. One hard Chechen crazy cunt.
Just a shame for the sport that he’s knocking on a bit at 38.
Yarde done well to be fair
1
Watching the fly weight bout at moment.
12 stone of sinew in the ring 😄
1
Same here – self employed. What’s the point. Keep trying to work out how to get on the long term sick.
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IR35 is indeed a cunt. I stopped being wholly self-employed before it was introduced, but it raised its cuntish head when I was processing samples out of hours for a lecturer working at the same university as me. The uni didn’t like paying overtime so my payment had to come out of her grant. At which point Finance burst into tears and invoked IR35. Cunts.
12
Can’t agree with this, many of the self-employed never pay a penny. Big fancy houses and cars, all owned by the business. Claiming everything as expenses, employing the wife in a made up position – try working in a salaried position, then you’ll know all about be screwed by the taxman!
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You Rotter.
All my wives work their fingers to the bone.
I’d sack you if you worked for me.
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You’re not doing it right MNC!
4
Your probably right Sedgwick😁
That’s my only fault.
Too honest….
2
There is rumour that a certain country cream artisan gate was purchased by a company called ‘Man with a Van’ and then fly tipped on hinges at a property in New Mills.
PS, I don’t believe a word of it.
8
Sedgewick:
No sick pay
No holiday pay
Long hours
Carrying all “risk”
There have to be some perks…..
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yes indeed CG, all that lovely tax free cash in hand money!
3
Most of the “foreigners” or “homers” (for our IsACers in the south,) done at the homestead, have been employed workmen getting a tax free bonus-not the self employed👍
5
Keep no savings. Convert all cash into sovereigns and stash away for retirement.
Job centre will see you have no savings in the bank. Bingo the money you paid to the system comes back to you.
Meanwhile you can cash those cheeky gold coins in,as and when you need them.
Sod the system. Bollocks to being fair, you have to play like a cunt to beat the cunts.
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Gold Brittanias are tax free when you sell them. not sovereigns.
Gold price too high at the mo. wait until they drop back to levels of five years back.
6
I like your thinking Mr Von stink finger.👍
Leave no trace.
Rob the theives and let the immos pay for their own hotel rooms.
11
Get a hooky, hooky-nosed Accountant…they’re worth every Penny.
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Evening Dick .
Mines Indian.
He’s that crooked I blush.
And I’m bent as a train robber.
9
Mine’s a canny enough fella…although, for obvious reasons, I would never invite him to attend one of my soirees.
11
😁😁hehe.
4
Fucking right, Mr F…I spent 20 years as an engineer at Airbus (self-employed contractor) and used to get a new contract every 2 years (in a slightly different seat) and the accountant sorted it all out. 70ish k a year and only paying about 15% tax overall.
But even he couldn’t ultimately protect me against the IR35 menace.
HMRC cunts. I had to sell an immaculate 1982 BMW E28 5-series to pay the bastards off.
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Have you got the Allegro (?) on the road yet ?
4
Ha! Almost. Got it running, new rad, fuel/water pumps, tyres, belts, hoses, battery and thermostat…just waiting for the brake master cylinder then I can unleash the full 52 bhp!
I’m well excited!
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Splendid!
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Once it’s on the road (maybe next week), I’ll stick a vid on Youtube for cunters to laugh my pile of brown wank.
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😢😢😢
I made the mistake of NOT buying a factory re-engined (insurance-flood damage) BMW 850 with all the toys-for £15k, from an associate.
Whilst procrastinating over the weekend, his wife sold it to her friends husband, a car dealer.
Who probably put a 150% mark up on it👎
It was mint. Those older BM’s were superb.
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You knew there’d be a tax bill so you should have set money aside.
“he who fails to plan plans to fail”
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They are a bunch of shit weasels 🙃
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The elites want to destroy small business and have them swallowed up by the multi national corporations. Then everyone is dependent on the corporations and the State. It’s the classic political definition of fascism but without the nationalism of course. Oh no , we can’t have that in a world with no borders. Drip drip drip…..you know it makes sense.
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Techno,
If you plan on working another year and you’ve worked for 40 years having to sign on and go through the hassle, they’re maybe another option.
During your final year tell your GP that you’re experiencing stress etc. and present with the symptoms. Retire and ask for a sick note and keep getting them. After all you have history. It’s unlikely at your age you’ll be challenged as they’ll just write you off.
It won’t be fortune but so fucking what!
11
Do we Englishmen live in the country that most hates its indigenous people?
Is there any other country that employs such a textbook antithesis to industrial protectionism and genuine despising of white people and patriotism?
We are like a disgusting council house whore, literally spreading ourselves wide open to be brutally fucked by pakıs, nıg nogs and chınkies, the resulting child being a bloated welfare state the size of Katie Price’s gaping vagina after she’s been ran through by a bull elephant.
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Apathy has allowed those assorted pa.ki’s, ni.g-n-og’s And other third world shire to get their hands on the levers of power.
I do sense that people are beginning to push back.
Too little, too late?
Hmmm🤔
7
Third world shire, CG?!
I always thought the Shire looked rather nice, hence why the hobbits lived there…it was inevitable, I suppose. Bloody pakıs get everywhere, even Middle Earth!
5
Not just the self employed, it’s any stupid cunt who goes to work
5
Where is Techno anyway, the cunt? I wanna know where he’s going to emigrate to?
5
He’s done a fuckin moonlight without saying goodbye!
4
I’m just on the way to Kingsford Smith Airport ( Sydney ) to pick him up. He finally saw the light and got the fuck out of the UK while he could .
4
Do you know what’s going on in Alice Springs Grumpy? It looks like Wokism has arrived in the Outback.
2
As if I would do that to you lovely adorable people! What do you take me for?
(Actually there was a baggage handlers’ strike at the local airport, and our flight was cancelled. Cunts!)
2
Try farming – it’s an easy life. Very few forms to fill in (not), I get a fortune for fleeces (2 quid a pop) and ‘country folk’ who until 5 minutes ago lived in Lewisham complaining about me shooting foxes. Yes it’s great and of Gove or whoever it is at DEFRA tells me I have to consider the ‘public good’ ie put vermin before food production. The Tories are a shower of shit and I hate them and their townie mates who think food is created at Waitrose. Well bollocks to them
19
Farming is being “cancelled” by the eco-loons. They want to go back to rewilding and kill agriculture stone dead, along with meat eating.
Plus a lot of the fields up our way are now covered in ugly solar panels and bloody windmills as part of this renewables cobblers.
You never see these noisy, ugly things in downtown Islington or Wokey Chelsea!
5
I couldn’t leave this country.
I feel sad just thinking about it.
I suffer terribly from home sickness.
Good luck to you Techno if you do.
Remember your a Englishman,
You wear it like a crown!
The Bulldog breed.
God’s chosen people.
🇬🇧🇬🇧
10
Jews?
We’re off to Songdo.
You’re welcome to join us, MNC.
Just like England 50 years ago!
4
Korea?
No thanks MJB.
They eat dogs.
That’s not kosher.
2
Only “a few thousand” being welcomed in the,Lakes?
Psh. Small fry.
Every single place I visit has thousands of them already. Councils are paid handsomely for them. Fuck the residents who have to live amongst them, watch Mosques being built for them, watch them paying fuck all tax doing their shitty barber haircuts, pass their free-rent houses, pay towards their free education, pretend they’re not selling drugs at my local boozer, and hear about how they spike girls’ drinks before they do a Bill Cosby on them.
9
Within a decade the Lake District will have the stench of the Curry kitchen, Rapes will increase, little children fiddled with. The brown envelopes will continue and much will be achieved, but at a disastrous cost
3
There is a business not far from here. It has been in this town since its founding in 1894. It is well known and it is well respected. It is closing this month. Rents, rates , everything is going up. Obstacles to trade imposed. It is sad. A family business of many generations is to fail. Not because they deserve to fail, simply because they were prevented from succeeding by Governments and local Corruption.
Excellent cunting. So well nominated ( sadly )
8
I sympathize Techno. I worked as an IT contractor for 16 years. As it happens I’m also a Chartered Accountant.
I set up my own company, registered for VAT, did my own accounting and tax returns. All going nicely until the one eyed snot gobbling bastard Brown decided contractors were a cash cow. He tried all sorts of shit rather than just being straightforward. The Professional Contractors Group fought the bastard in the courts over some half arsed attempt to reinact some odscure 17th century statute that had never been rescinded.
When the group went to appeal and the government lost, we said we’d go to the European Court. Rather than have to admit that UK was subservient to EU law, Brown backed off and introduced IR35.
Ironically if he just done that in the first place, we would have sucked it up, planned our affairs accordingly and carried on. I carried on for a few years and then retired in May 2003 and like you said fuck ’em.
Ironically most of my contracts were for Government departments who kept ringing me and trying to get me to come back. It was very satisfying telling them to fuck off.
I was 52 when I jacked it in. Best thing I ever did. Sold my house in Berkshire for a nice price and moved to East Anglia.
A word of caution though. I looked seriously at emigrating and researched seriously. Nowhere else is any better. They just have different problems so don’t kid yourself.
Also when working out how much money you need to retire, remember you don’t need to die with money in the bank. And I advise you to do nothing for the first year. Let it dink in first.
And claim the fucking benefits. You paid for them so bloody well get some of it back.
I’ve been there done it and bought the t shirt…
6