Peter Kay [4]

Peter Kay and no it’s not it’s not for his o2 shambles.

Peter Kay man of the people I will sell my tickets for 35 quid same as 2010 tour.

A couple of things firstly 35 in 2010 was overpriced when other comedians were 20 , and a bare minimum were sold at 35 quid rest were vastly more.

Stop pretending you are a man of people you are a cunt and garlic bread still isn’t funny.

Nominated by: John McCunty

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97 thoughts on “Peter Kay [4]

  1. Lady Guzzi who is from Derby loves Peter Kay whilst I ,being a tremendously sophisticated chap from Hampshire, cannot raise a titter during the lad’s performances. I enjoy Benny Hill and Frankie Howard ; those chaps ah…

  2. Even less funny than Michael McIntyre, Russell Howard, Lee Evans and Peter Tatchell making a full recovery from bum cancer.

  3. ‘Phoenix Nights’?

    Fucking quality. Peter Kay’s far funnier than any of the shower-of-shite, as funny as c-diff, ‘comedians’ that proliferate tv, nowadays.

    • Sad to inform you that the laughs in Phoenix Nights were chiefly down to Dave Spikey and the cast.

      We know this because the characters were largely lifted from ‘That Peter Kay thing’, which…..just isn’t that funny.

    • Phoenix nights and this

      Made me howl with laughter.

      Maybe a grabbing fucker? but wasn’t he pretty Ill of late?
      Might need the money after not earning?

      Anyway he’s alright by me, nowt against the lad.

      • No Guzzi, Cheshire.
        But bordering the Peak District.

        But know what you mean,
        Maybe a slight North/South difference?

        I can’t stand Michael McIntyre, and truly hate that Alexander Armstrong!
        I’d happily do a 30yr stretch in Strangeways for his murder,
        And would whistle the whole of my sentence!

      • Good heavens, I have found you in a benevolent mood!
        May I have apologise for my rudeness to you in the past and and future rudeness- which may occur when I’ve had a glass or nine.

      • Never known you to be rude GG?
        Abusive, abrasive, outright hostile maybe,
        But never rude!

      • I’ve got to say, Mis, that the ” minarets” had me crying with laughter.
        I kept on expecting you to offer posters out, in front of the country cream gate, which had been clingfilmed to avoid blood stains, but no.
        Your calm and fortitude in the face of adversity was remarkable.

    • The only comedians I recollect going to see, for next to nothing, were Mike Harding in his early career and Bill Hicks in the early nineties, not long before he died. He was doing shows twice there length at the time, knowing full well what was afoot. I remember seeing the second house queue shivering in the cold with miserable faces, after coming out from a warm glow of laughter from Bill.

      • I went to see Bottom live three times. Rik (RIP) was brilliant. Sad to see Ade has turned into a luvvie cunt these days.

        Also a regular at Manning’s Embassy Club. Saw all the greats. Ivor Davies, Charlie Williams, Colin Crompton, Mick Miler and the great Bernard himself…

      • Don’t know how I missed mentioning a works night out at the Embassy Club, and the honour of having the piss taken out of me by Bernard Manning, after making the stupid mistake of answering him back. Bernard even mentioned my name after my work mate’s told him. Then came out with his run-of-the-mill gags “I’ve seen more meat on a jockeys whip” and “if you stood back to back with your mate, you’d look like a pick axe”. To top it all, even tearing my trouser leg on a nail sticking out from the stage whilst dancing too close to it and the girl I didn’t cop off with. What fond memories, looking back.

  4. From what I’ve seen, Kay’s standup isn’t anywhere close to being up there with Phoenix Nights, which was comedy genius. Although it was called ‘Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights’, it was cowritten with Neil Fitzmaurice and Dave Spikey, which probably tells us something…

  5. I heard kay and paddy mcguinness stabbed Spikey in the back when doing another follow on show

    So I think Peter Kay is a Kunt

  6. I have had funnier trips to the dentist than seeing this fucker and don’t even get me started on that uba cunt Paddy McGuinnes

      • Mmmmm……..ripe.
        Inhale deeply,in a poorly ventilated room. 😜🤪😋
        Sorry, who are we cunting ?
        Ah, Peter Kay.
        He may very well be a cunt.
        But he makes me laugh.

    • I’ve met McGuinness (I sold him a train ticket) and a more up your arse, narcissistic, slimy, look at me everyone, piss steaming Uber cunt you couldn’t wish to meet.
      That’s why I’ve nominated his career in the Dead Pool a few times. I’m as glad as fuck his marriage has gone up the shitter, his wife and kids deserve a lot better than this interbred, whippet diddler. Peter Kay’s alright but his stand up is too samey.

      • Indeed, JP.
        Must’ve been terrifying, knowing you’re going to die of asphyxiation.
        Do you have an opinion on assisted dying at, say, Dignitas?
        I’d be all for it, after consultation by 2 independent psychiatrists to thwart greedy relatives’ plans.

      • I think it’s about time we changed our outdated attitude here and allowed people the option of a pain free death, as opposed to strangling in your own body fluids.
        If I had MND, I would hope a member of my family would have the guts to slip me a rather large Micky Finn.

      • Wonder if repeated blows to the head caused oxidative stress, leading to his disease?
        Rugby is not good for your health, in addition to being super-gay.

      • It’s very possible, Thomas.
        Repeated blows to the head, or any other part of the body indeed, cannot be good news.

      • Thank you, Mis. It makes me feel loved to know someone has a pair, and isn’t bothered about the potential consequences.
        I shall write a letter, while I’m still capable of holding a pen, indicating that it was my choice.

      • My pleasure JP 😅

        Hehehe, would I get paid?

        Please don’t wear that kimono on the day,
        It’s a solemn occasion.

      • Evening MNC…imagine being paralysed and your new nurse, dressed up all sexy, was Michael Barrymore, stroking himself and chuckling evilly as he undid the Vaseline tub…

      • Christ Thomas!
        Stuff of nightmares!

        Hopefully I’d still have the capability to sneer at Michael, say

        “That meant to be a cock?”

        And make the gay cunt cry.

      • Minarets, it’s a Happi jacket, not a fucking Kimono!
        Elton John wears Kimonos.
        I’m not Elton John.

      • Oh, paid?
        There’s at least £10 in odds and bobs I’ve picked up from the street.
        It’s in a glass jar, top of the wall unit on the left, next to the comedy cow.

    • Heard a nice story about him tonight Sir Fox, on a rugby club visit speech an dinner carry on in that he would first find out and pair up to the shortest man in the room and have a banter.
      He was held in the highest regard by all.
      God doesn’t make enough of em these days.

      • Me and my mate were horribly hung over at the Hong Kong 7s in The Excelsior breakfast room, Doddie comes over and asks what’s wrong we both say pissed last night. He comes back 5 minutes later with 2 Pernod and peps get this down you will make you feel better. Top bloke RIP.

  7. Another fat bastard proving fat does not ewual funny.

    Like the currently-imploding fatso Corden, I don’t think ive watched any of his programmes, just stuff he’s appeared in over the years.

    Thinks he’s funny because he’s gen x and can remember stuff from the seventies and eighties.

  8. Well, he brought us phoenix nights.

    So i cant cunt him Im afraid.

    The doorman scene with the dwarves is fucking hilarious. “How far away are they” cracks me up.

    And clinton baptiste.

    • I liked the one where the staff got a training session from a fire warden who had been in the local papers for interfering with dogs. Keith Lard, I think he was called. Also the really strange turns they had on at the end of each show, like 80 yr old doddery knife throwers etc

  9. Any fellow wanting truly irreverent, original comedy would be advised to investigate Doug Stanhope on Youtube.

  10. I don’t mind the fat cunt.

    Phoenix Nights is spot on.

    However he knows very well he’s insanely popular so instead of this £35 bollocks he should have started at £15 a go and made himself a hero.

    So he’s being a greedy cunt….but good luck to him.

  11. I remember seeing a chap called Jeff Green on the box many years ago he actually made I laugh out loud, not an easy feat being a miserable fucker that I am and very right wing. Wonder what happened to him.

  12. My is watching im a celebrity….and up until recently there were apparently two ‘”comedians” in there….fucked if I know which ones.

    Comedians nowadays can only make jokes about women if they are a women, men can only make jokes about men, but women can make jokes about men. You can only make jokes about the disabled if you are disabled yourself,. The same goes for lezzers or shirt lifters or trans or whatever fucking thing they call themselves. If they are black or asian, then quirks of being one of those groups are fair game, but if you are white this is not allowed even though those very same quirks to get a laugh can be used by one of the same ethnicity, but not whitey. Although taking the piss out of whiitey is allowed.

    To use any of his previous material bernard manning would have to be black, disabled and a poofter who refers to itself as him/her.

    No wonder comedy isnt funny anymore….theres fuck all you can be funny about safely…unless you want to be an entertainer at a childrens party with knock knock jokes

    • Bernard is all what you say. He’s been banging on his coffin until he was blue in the face. Think he’s stopped now. At least he was there for his final performance.

  13. I think some of Kay’s stuff is good and some isn’t. Phoenix Nights and That Peter Kay thing were great (the ice cream man one was classic). But Car Share was shite. Kay capitulated to social media mongs, who ‘demanded’ a shit soft schmaltzy happy ending to the series, and the daft cunt gave in to them. I’d have shagged that Sian Thingy out of it, though but…

    His live stuff can be fucking awful too. My dad used to have an aversion to what he saw as strange grub. Cheese in a tube, cheesecake, garlic bread. My old man said ’em all in the 70s. But I didn’t piss my sides laughing over it. It was just my dad being my dad. My mum also used to say ‘put the big light on’. Nothing funny about it though. And playing ‘misheard’ Sister Sledge and Wacko Jacko lyrics on a tape player to an audience that has paid over thirty quid a pop? That really is ripping the piss.

    Also, I think his London ‘don’t do peas, don’t do curry sauce’ chippy joke is total made up bollocks. I have traveled all over the UK and Eire in my time. And I have never seen a chip shop that ‘don’t do peas’.

  14. Of course, you know what this is for…
    So the cunt can put out yet another in time for Christmas cash-in DVD.

    That’s what he’s been doing for the best part of ten years now.

  15. His ‘Chicago’ joke is also made up bollocks, I reckon.
    ‘Me nana says ‘Ave yer seen that musical Chick-A-Go?’

    Every cunt has heard of Chicago.Whether it’s the city, the band, the Bears American Football team, or the fucking musical. And every cunt knows how to pronounce it as well. Nah, not having it…

  16. And just wait for that colossal cunt Coogan to do yet another Partridge Tour when the backlash starts after his Savile ‘drama’ is aired…

    • Coogan has made me laugh loads in the past,
      Partridge, Paul Calf etc
      But what a absolute prick.
      Pompous, lefty, arrogant,
      And a dirty cunt.

      I knew his uncle,
      He was a horrid cunt also.

    • Thanks Norman for some of your interesting insight. It did remind me of family life with my parents. If something crops up that might be of some good, I’ll let you know.

  17. Peter Kay has not appeared on television for almost 10 years. His company Good Night Vienna Productions Limited is worth £22-£30M. If he has had to deal with illness himself or for a family member with then I’m sorry about that and fair play but c’mon. I don’t give a fuck about, “De ye ‘member” or “Rola Cola…”. I’d respect him more if he just retired and said, “I’ve made me money – now I just want to do summit else”. It seems to me Mr Kay is too lazy to work and just got between 1999 and 2012.

    He was at one time quite funny but how much of that was down to other writers which he doesn’t credit and just paid them a salary e.g. Dave Spikey, Daniel Kitson, Neil Fitzmaurice. He miscalls in the DVD audio commentary and pixelated Daniel Kitson’s appearance in repeats of Phoenix Nights because he suggested some references were “A bit racist”. Not a nice man.

    All his programmes titles start “Peter Kay’s…” including Phoenix Nights?
    As far as I know no TV channel is repeating his programmes, so no cash from repeat fees or overseas licencing. How does his company make money when all his DVDs are in Charity Shops? What are broadcasters not repeating his stuff? Very fishy.

    • I should have said “just got lucky” and “Why are broadcasters not repeating his stuff?”

    • I don’t recall Daniel Kitson doing anything remotely ‘racist’ on Phoenix Nights. So, what the fuck is Kay on about? I bet Daniel called Kay a cunt for what I mention below. So Peter got petulant. And here’s possibly why….

      Kay also accepted a big ‘Best Writer’ award for Phoenix Nights. And he failed to mention Kitson, Spikey and Fitzmaurice in his speech. A cunt for doing that….

      Kay claims he himself has authoried a ‘no repeats’ policy on ‘his’ programmes. He reckons that famiiarity breeds contempt, and other shows suffer from repeat overkill (UK Gold is now the Only Fools and Horses Channel). He reckons Phoenix Nights will be more fondly remembered without loads of repeats. He may have a point about that. but Phoenix Nights – although good – was not the best from that era. Father Ted blew it away. Oh, and Max and Paddy’s Road To Nowhere was shit.

      • Oh, and Kay was so snide to Dave Spikey and Neil Fitzmaurice, he wouldn’t even have them in the Max and Paddy series. Their characters did appear, but they were doubles. What a cunt,eh?

      • Kitson complained that some of the Phoenix Nights material might be a racist. e.g. The Chinese stowaways that Potter (Kay) referred to as ‘Ant and Dec’.

        I don’t think Kitson was in it before the ‘Send the buggers back’ folk song sketch but Kitson said it was “Lazy and racist”.

        I think his pixelization in subsequent repeats and DVD releases was at HIS request but Peter Kay calling him a ‘bastard’ in the DVD commentary is unnecessary and basically him being a bit of a cunt.

      • Fair enough. So it appears Kay and Kitson are both cunts. But at least Kay isn’t woke, I’ll give him that. Why is the Ant and Dec thing ‘racist’? Kitson – it appears – is another woke knobhead.

    • A lot of his live stuff just isn’t funny, Anton. All that ‘Me mum bought crap pop’ and ‘Me sister taped the Top 40’ and ‘we used to skid on t’floor at weddings’. We all did that, we don’t make a career out of it though. And that ‘Bullseye’ bit? What the hell is that crap? I don’t need him to remind me what Bullseye was, or how shit it was. A lot of his stuff is bollocks and mundane…

  18. Kay stopping repeats shows that he is a cunt…

    Other people involved in Phoenix Nights like co-writers and co-stars. Dave Spikey and Neil Fitzmaurice and others will not get any repeat royalties if it isn’t shown. They are not as rich as Kay, and he should have thought of that. But I bet he doesn’t give a toss.

    It’s like when Martin Shaw was being a luvvie mard cunt, and vetoing repeats of the mighty Professionals. Shaw wanted to ‘distance himself’ from what he saw as low art and not ‘serious acting’. But Lewis Collins (rest his soul) bollocked him, and told him that Gordon Jackson’s widow was in genuine financial difficulties. So Martin then gave his permisson to repeat the series. He has also warmed and mellowed about The Professionals in recent years, and he realises now how loved it still is…

    So, Kay should think of others when he vetoes these repeats. But I bet he doesn’t…

  19. And these woke cunts (see you, Kitson) who moan about ‘Send the buggers back’ being ‘racist’ are – as usual – not getting the joke, like the thick leftie cunts that they are. It was satirising racists and the end line of a horrified Brian Potter (‘A sing-along with Combat 18’) confirms that. But these liberal knobends always do this. Alf Garnett, Love Thy Neighbour, Rising Damp all satirise and send up bigotry and racists. Yet these weren’t even born at the tine wankers just do their usual knee jerk ‘But… But… It’s racist’ whinging. They act like they are so clever, but this proves that they are just so fucking stupid.

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