A nomination for ‘Have I Got News For You’ . Or as i’ve begun to call it, Have I got Gayblackandtokenfemales For You’
Paul and Ian look around the audience for approval. A gay guest panellist gives out a burst of camp, arse-crawling laughter.
A black guest panellist gives out a burst of faux-joyous, arse-crawling laughter.
A posh female guest panellist gives out a burst of coquettish, arse-crawling laughter.
A snarky host puts up an orange with wisps of something on top of it.
Who could it be?
Then a picture of Boris Johnson made of mashed potaro.
‘E’ looks better there dunnee? Wot u reckon cut price stormzy?”
‘Oh my days blud, dey made Boris outta mash potato, din dey? That is mental, fam!’
Audience; ‘Huwf-huwf-huwf! Aren’t we all so clever and up-to-the-minute on current affairs!’
Guest Host; ‘Haha , look at Jacob Rees Mogg! He’s a twit, and nearly as posh as i am!’
The token guests might laugh more than my dog, but she would probably say more than they do.
What a load of rancid cunt.
Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime
And seconded by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble
Havent watched this for a few years, since it started with some man in a frock having a go about how Brexit voters were stupid. Tee hee.
Hislop is a smug public school metropolitan right on lefty. By god you want to punch the cunt.
Merton is not and has never been remotely funny. Guests are lefty twats unless they put on a conservative (far right by their values) type on, to be mocked.
It seems to be the Guardian’s attempt at humour.
I havent seen the show CP refers to but I suppose it is:-
Boris, tee hee.
Trump, tee hee.
And presumably Braverman tee hee.
Ad fucking infinitum.
BBC at it’s most dire.
(Here’s a taster – Day Admin You Tube Link )
Well past it’s sell by date, why not have guest team captains too, like larry david, ricky gervais, jimeoin who is an excellent comedian. Lazy programming by the bbcunts.
10
Merton looked fed up doing this 10 years ago. Still, pays well I imagine
” more taxpayers money “..💩
16
Not seen this shite in years.
It used to be on before something more entertaining so I’d see last 5minutes sometimes.
The one from private eye who looks like a thumb,
He’d say something clever,
The one who looks like a owl chick (Merton) would reply something clever back and look round for applause.
I’d look at my watch.
Just the type who mither in pubs,
Then either the landlord chucks them out or a woman throws a drink over them,
Maybe get punched?
Oxbridge bores.
Shove your ‘rag mag’ up your arse an fuck off.
22
Haven’t seen this since 2016, shortly after it became “Have I Got Smug Remoaner Propaganda for You.” I used to think they took the piss out of everyone, and maybe they did, but brexit changed all that. If you think the BB fucking C is politically neutral then you only have to look at this and that Question Time shit to disabuse yourself of that idea.
Hislop is a fucking cunt!
36
Hmm. In 2016 I discovered, via the BBC, that I am a fascist, racist, economically illiterate, gammon, brexiteer, not worthy of watching these comedy geniuses. So I don’t. Or any so-called comedy from the Black Biased Cunts.
32
@Moggie.
#Metoo
Great, isn’t it ?
Good evening.
10
Evening Jack. The only thing remotely funny on the Beeb is anything political and I don’t watch stuff like that.
9
Comedy doesn’t exist on the BBC.
And it’s as rare as rocking horse shite on other channels too.
10
I too stopped watching in 2016.
Did something happened to turn the show into a leftwing anger fest?
0
Gave up on that shit show years ago.
Another bbc smug fest slowly dying.
Losing viewers by the millions.
The cunts might care if they had to produce their own revenue.
18
‘ might care if they had to produce their own revenue ‘.
They don’t and therein lies the problem.
15
I don’t know how you can bear to watch it, Cuntamus, but thanks for the update anyway. From what you say it sounds like it’s even worse than it was ten years ago when I stopped watching it.
Standard fare now for BBC ‘satire’ I’m afraid – politically correct, diversity box ticking, anti-Tory/Brexit/Trump and about as funny as the Guardian Women’s Page.
16
I hadn’t seen it in a while but watched about ten minutes the other night. It was fucking dire.
9
I have been watching it for so long now it tends to be a habit, rather than neccessity…..it’s much tamer now and a bit too ‘pc’ for me now, but compared to what’s available on the BBC it’s still bearable. I watch in the hope we get a show that replicates the rip the shit, have a go funny stuff of 10 years or so ago, but still waiting.
I like Hislop…he is pretty balanced, and Merton was OK back in the day, but his look and demeanour now tells me he wishes he were somewhere else.
10
Was an avid viewer when Angus Deyton was the anchor; but then he became a controversial wanker and was told to leave.
I followed it for a couple more years with guest anchors, including Blow Job Boris, but come 2016/7 and the referendum everything changed and Hislop in particular became even more unbearable with his smug self-righteous attitude – a definite candidate for Punch in the Face 2022
16
Pretty much the same for me, Techno. I was an avid viewer back in the day when Angus hosted. It was genuinely funny. The guest presenter idea didn’t really work for me. Some were good and others less so, but the formula and dynamic changed. I think it eventually lost its way and should have been canned.
It is amazing to me how Hislop seems almost the opposite person he used to be, in terms of his targets and views on certain matters. Merton can be very clever and witty, but his humour can become tiresome when you’re exposed to too much of it. I think Hislop and Merton are past their sell bys and the Bastard Biased Cunts are simply flogging a head horse for the sake of it. Sounds about right.
5
It went downhill after Angus Dayton left, it never really regained it’s X factor.
Not seen it for a while but if it is following the same woke ideology as the rest of the BBC I can’t see it being remotely funny anymore.
10
Angus most of the time was better viewing than Merton and Hislop, although all three at the time bounced off each other, and it was highly amusing. It did change after he ‘left’ as the camarardarie was never quite the same….then came brexit and it all got very left or right wing instead of being neutral and rippping the shit out of anyone and everyone one. It has lost it’s edge now, althpough I do still watch it in the hope I laugh………Hislop did tear into Neville a couple of weeks ago which was quite nice.
8
I haven’t seen this shite in years but caught an episode a few weeks ago with Gary Neville hosting and Hislop was roasting him over taking the Qatari Rial whilst hand-wringing about migrant workers and alphabets. Neville was like a fucking worm on a hook, the cunt. Maybe this was a one-off, they usually look after their own but maybe there were no far-right Tories available that week.
10
Aren’t all the Tories left wing now?
11
They are 😠
7
Hislop lives in Sissinghurst in Kent and takes chauffeur-driven cars up to the Jimmy Savile Broadcasting Corporation to film this hackneyed zombie of a comedy. Both he and his wife are horribly pretentious cunts and haven’t got an ounce of class betwixt them.
22
Sissinghurst you say? Very nice, very posh. You won’t find many pisshead dooshkas hanging around the P*ki shops there. No dinghy raiders either.
19
They’re all being housed at Gazza Linekunt’s pad. Hislop would soil his tiny panties if any Iron Curtain came near him. And he probably dies wear panties, the gurning, little gargoyle cunt.
5
I watched it a few years back and couldn’t believe how smug and self satisfied the panel were, constant digs at Brexit supporters and Donald trump became extremely tedious
23
I read that Hislop recently got all preachy with Gary ‘thick-as-pig-shit-champagne-socialist-hypocrite’ Neville over Qatar. What the bald scrotum didn’t point out is that he’s just as big a cunt for taking coin off the BBC who are broadcasting the fucking shitshow.
20
I’d rather be an arse bandit in Qatar than watch this shite.
13
Hmmm…personally, I’m not so sure on that one Unkle.
7
Locked room and throw a hand grenade in.
8
Throw the grenade in, then lock the door.
7
True
5
Then unlock the door, throw another one in, just to be sure.
8
Then flame thrower, Moggie.
You can never be too careful.
6
From Paul Merton’s Wiki page – ” In a 2007 public poll featured in The Guardian, Merton was voted alongside the likes of Oscar Wilde, Spike Milligan, Noel Coward and Winston Churchill as one of the ten greatest wits of all time”.
Merton’s deadpan schtick gets on my tits and the twat is about as funny as a ballbag in a zipper. Churchill probably came up with more wittier stuff whilst curling off a turd on a Sunday morning.
15
Merton is much better fronting unusual documentary series such as the one about unknown and barely used railway stations and the one about China. This scripted panel show shit doesn’t really suit him.
6
Merton looked piss bored in the 90s, but the frumpy, unfunny slob keeps accepting the cheques whilst sitting there like a disabled lampshade.
4
“Is it a dolphin in a bathtub?”
Harry and Paul lampooned this brilliantly.
12
I wish I had given Hislop a smack in his smug chops, back in the ’80’s when he sat opposite me on the tube!
Ah well no point dwelling on past lost opportunities. 😬👊
14
His jowls would still be wobbling to this day if you had punched the smug cunt.
4
The BBC.
Have They Got Cunts For You ?
Oh yes.
They are legion.
Get To Fuck.
11
Haven’t watched it or bbc for years to lefty and right on for me, used to listen to news quiz when Alan Coren was on when he went they followed the new Gospel of the weak as piss woke left agenda.
Would probably give me a stroke if it polluted my ears now, an absolute fecking shower, cunts of the first water and right on lefty virtue signalling arseholes to a man
5
Anything BBC=total shite=don’t bother with it/don’t pay for it!
6
This show has always been a cunt-fest…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Have_I_Got_News_for_You_episodes
From the get-go it had cretins on it. Sandi Toksvig is in the first episode. The so-called, “satire” on that show was always pish, they mostly made fun of celebrities, eccentric citizen and each other. Never once did anyone really rip into the politicians. Whenever there was a genuine vomit-inducing creepy scandal, the panel would just go, “m’yeh… well… yeah, what you gonna do?” and move on to a photo of a man with bird-shit on his top hat at Ascot.
BBC need to axe this shite, along with everything else they shite out at out expense.
14
BBC need to be axed.
14
Guy Fawkes to blow them to Kingdom come
6
64 series and counting. Even last of the summer wine gave up after 37 series. It was funny back in the 90s but it’s been rendered completely redundant by the internet and 24 hour news. I enjoyed the needle between Angus and the captain’s but that is so far in the past I wonder if it ever happened. Even mock the woke was canned. Have I gone woke for you should’ve gone first.
10
64 series?? Is that right? That’s quite amazing. How many series is Strictly F*gs Mincing running to now?
I only mention that because it looks like it’s going to go on for ever.
It has all the elements of Moron Entertainment …….I wish I could buy fucking shares in it.
7
Yes it started late 1990, 2 series a year since then. Think Sandi Dogsick off QI was a guest. Iraq had invaded Kuwait.
3
You probably could buy shares in it.
Strictly Come Mincing is made by a commercial company that goes by the name of BBC Studios, which sells the programme to the taxpayer funded BBC.
A right fucking rip-off.
https://productions.bbcstudios.com/about-us
6
That sounds like a nice little earner, courtesy of the license payer. If I had a stockbroker I’d be onto the cunt straight off.
I might have said this once or twice before but I hate the fucking BBC.
6
I get why “woke” happened. If people want to row their boat down that oneiric river then go ahead. But who the fuck can satirists and satirical organs of society go woke? That means never satirizing anything.
Comedy isn’t dead or dying, but it will be driven underground for a while, then eventually reemerge. But right now, don’t expect any chuckles from corporate-owned platforms.
6
HIGNFY is so boring and predictable.
Tired old formula, should have been put out to pasture 10+ years ago.
Same goes for all those other mainstream TV so called satirical panel shows,
Mock the Week, 8 out of 10 Cats, A league of their Own,
Etc.
No wonder politics is in such a state if this is what passes for entertainment nowadays.
8
Despite plenty of material – Dame Kweer, Mandy, Phillips, Rayner, Thornberry they have little to say ion Labour. The radio version The News Quiz is now just finished its 104th series and it’s guests are often American or Australian lesbians, and wimminz from Eastern Europe.
4
Sneering posh momentum corbynites,
Notting Hill Marxists.
Although they’d all accept a knighthood if offered.
Red carpet whores and have nanny issues.
That’s not who I want to see discussing political topics.
I want to see ordinary people,
Man in the pub,😁
The only working class bloke they’ve met is Mick Lynch!
At a dinner party in Islington.
8
Just seen him on the news.
Dr Evil tribute act beckons if he gets tired striking.
8
They should have David Icke host HIGNFY.
Icke: “Tonight’s guests are… a heavily inebriated Alex Jones and, eeee, look at this! It’s Mohammad Al-Fayed done up by the Doctor Who crew as a shape-shifting reptilian eating a baby doll, bloody heck!”
Al-Fayed” “It is real, David.”
Jones: *vomits over Ian Hislop*
8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dGh7p1tZmk
2
This program was once entertaining and funny. Thanks to the wokieverse the program is now shite, a veritable tsunami of right on drivel and cunty guests. Shove it as far as is physically possible with a red hot crowbar.
4
Good when Angus Deyton hosted it. Shit after.
5
Used to watch this regularly until it was all anti Brexit, Trump and the UK. Couldn’t stand any more of it. Why is every facet of society infested with this? People have minds and opinions of their own. Fucking sick if it.
By the way, proper comedy died when Bernard Manning passed away. Your still sadly missed Bernard.
2