Fussy Eaters

I had the wagon-driver in for a cup of tea this morning after be brought some round bales….as we were talking he sniffed the air and said..”Smells like a good stew” …told him it was,and explained that it had been quietly warming for 3 days and that I just topped the pot up as I took stuff out….chuck in a few lumps of black pudding…another carrot…few tetties… couple of kidneys..jug of gravy if it dries out etc and shove it back in…I can do this for days until I get sick of it and give it to the Hounds.

He seemed amazed that I hadn’t poisoned myself and said that he wouldn’t touch something that had been…”festering for days” was the phrase he used…. but I genuinely can’t see the problem. I’ll scrape the worst of the mould off cheese and eat it…eat stuff that’s totally out of date…. and I’m as healthy as fuck.

People are far too worried about “food poisoning”. It’s not “poisoning” that makes most of them ill…it’s having a weak digestive system that can’t cope with the smallest upset and their own pathetic self-indulgence….”Call an ambulance…that yogurt I just ate is 2 days out of date”

Wankers.

Nominated by: Foxchaser-Fiddler

153 thoughts on “Fussy Eaters

  1. Cats are fussy eaters, yet they’ve got guts of iron. They roll about in all kinds of shit and then lick it off and swallow it. It all just comes out the other end and they’re no worse off.

    • I’ve seen one of my cats scoff his grub, projectile vomit it back up and another cat walk over and eat the sick…waste not want not

  2. Wasn’t born in the war-time era, but was always told to finish my plate (as it were), and always have. Character-building.
    Btw, my mate always had a pot on the stove, took from it, added to it daily, chorizo, butterbeans, lamb, spuds, beef, turnips… It had a depth of flavour and never killed anyone, yet. It’s like chucking kids out to play in the garden to up their immune systems. Or drinking a quart of white wine before lunch. Gives the body something to fight against. I fear for snotty vegans who drink grass and eat powdered hedgerow herbage on artistan non toast. They won’t live to see their 40’s.

  3. What a great nom.

    I can’t fucking stand fussy eaters.

    One of my nephew’s is a fussy little twat and he boils my piss when he stays over but I also enjoy the look on his face when he knows he has to eat fruit and veg I give him in exchange for crisps, sweets or biscuits later on.
    Sure he’ll come round eventually. I hope.
    Both my sister and her stupid cunt of a fella’s fault.

    One of the young lads at work is dreadful for it.
    The cunt somehow survives on a diet of melted cheese and ham and sweets.
    Never seen a single piece of fruit or veg pass his lips in nigh on 5 years.
    His parents fault.

    One lad I worked with years ago had the most appalling diet imaginable, living on sweet shite and copious amounts of McDonald chicken nuggets and the likes..
    He was a single lad and had nobody to really look out for him and he ended up dead at 40.
    Lovely lad and all but I’m certain his diet will have been a significant factor in his early death.

    Me personally – I will eat pretty much anything and far too many people wet the bed over “use by dates” in my opinion.
    The look and smell test will usually suffice.
    The look I get off the young snowflakes at work when I pour out of date milk in my tea is one of horror.
    If it smells ok then use it. If it stinks get rid of it.
    By their logic they would use milk that is clearly on the turn as long as it’s in date. The dozy cunts.

    • nah they don’t come round eventually, my grandkids were fussy eaters when little and as adults they still are, my grandson in his 20s only eats pizza and cheese. my daughter spoilt them i think she was making up for me never spoiling her. my granddaughter eats fuck all and looks like a stick and her son is 6 and at school but will only eat readybrek and sweets so she pays for school dinners and he leaves them.

  4. @DF. Interesting cunting. I remember reading, many years ago, that this method of cooking is traditional in parts of France.
    Apparently, the cooking pot never ever cools and bubbles throughout the seasons.
    I don’t think there can be any problem with bacteria, if it’s constantly simmering.
    Sounds good.
    A comment in one of your posts made me smile.
    My father always used to say that the only place for rice was in a pudding. 😀
    Evening, Dick / all.

  5. That child looks like Emma Twatson. Swat it with a cricket bat, before it’s too late…

  6. Our meals are cooked on site. Quite good. But Jeez, you want to see the waste. As a nipper my Ma would scrape up slops and it went to the next meal. Nothing wrong in that.

    • my nan used to make a boiled pig’s head last a week, tongue and cheeks were separate meals, dog got the ears & snout to chew, brains eyeballs & skull picking made jellied brawn sliced up cold & served with mash & pickles several times a week then finally the empty skull went in the soup pot

  7. I knew a kid growing up that didn’t like cheese. But he likes Pizza. I asked him what’s that all about and he couldn’t answer. I tried avacado once I don’t like it but I like gucamole, it’s the texture. We’re not ducks full of Foie gras with gravy running out our beaks.

  8. I suffered serious food poisoning over 30 years ago following a visit to a local Tandoori for a prawn dopiaza.

    Floored me for a day after. Debilitating pain as I laid in bed the day after, from the fingertips of one hand, up the arm, over the chest and down the other. Had the symptoms of a heart attack, but I spewed my ring up to boot.

    Never had anything like it before or since – touch wood.

    • Eeeuurrgghhh…I can barely stomach any takeaways, imagining my food being fiddled with by those unwashed brown fingers…🤮
      At least a decent skewer chicken kebab is made right in front of you.

    • Often they don’t last more than 24 hours. I had one from a dodgy pint. Luckily it came back up later, so I didn’t need to sit near the bog. I had some orange juice the next morning. A big mistake! When I through that up it tasted like battery acid. The only thing to do was to drink plenty of water & nothing else by mouth, until the sickness was out of my system.

    • me too but it was from keeping bread in the fridge, it doesnt go green so you keep eating it… until i got ergot poisoning and 4 days of agony shitting and vomiting, don’t keep bread in the fridge

  9. A couple of years ago, my younger son (aged 8) decided that he didn’t want to finish his carrots and broccoli. He’d managed to scoff the roast lamb and roast potatoes and Yorkie puds.
    I pointed out that we had Magnum ice lollies for pud, but he was resolute.
    Result: two delicious Magnums for Mr Cunt Engine, the second one eaten in front of a rather upset young lad.
    He’s never not finished his Sunday dinner again.

    • I always got told, as well as other children I knew, that if you couldn’t eat all your dinner, finish your vegetables at least.

      Nowadays, as a parent myself, I have always said, if you can’t eat all your dinner, try to finish your meat at least.
      Meat is expensive to throw away compared to veg.

  10. I am surprised no-one has made a pun about ‘pussy’ eaters.
    I never would of course.
    Beneath me.

  11. I remember when I was younger, I was a bit of a fussy little cunt. My dad used to make cheese on toast and I couldn’t go near the kitchen for hours after that vomit inducing stink, but I would watch french bread pizza adverts and think they looked pretty fucking good, (advertising is very powerful).
    Mushrooms were like kryptonite ( apart from in curry 😂).
    One thing mentioned before was like the stew pot my dad used to make, it was on the stove for days with little bits added daily and topped up, fucking loved it.
    My Mrs introduced me to something similar in her country, it is a stew/sauce which is drizzled over fried pork. Allegedly it’s the same pot of stuff that’s potentially 100 years old.

    • If you think cheese on toast smelt bad, after my 8 years in Switzerland, the morning-after smell of the fondue pot was something to be believed. But to eat it, oh it was bloody fantastic!!

      • the chinese keep their stew pots going for years just chucking the odd live dog, bat or grasshopper in to top it up…the Taiwan’s eat the fat burgers out of the fucking street sewers

      • Was you stuck on a mountain learning Romansh? I got stuck in a bar once in grimentz with some Swiss bloke teaching me the finer points of pulling a bird by commenting how lovely her feet are. Prendre son pieds. Or something equally ridiculous 😂

      • Hi Cuntflu!
        No, I was in French-speaking bit, round Lausanne.
        Pretty b. rare to hear Romantsch!!

  12. made a stew out of a Michelined rabbit it got better and better with more cooking over 3/4 days with occasional top up of veg

  13. Anyway I am ready for Rishi.

    He’s got subservient Aisan attitude that he will do anything for the powers that be.

    Accept it. Its ‘grown up’ politics.

    • His wife’s fanny is full of promise too…the promise of offshore tax avoidance.
      Wonder if Rishi’s one of those dusky types who considers toilet paper to be unhygienic?

      • Oh Mr Cunt Engine he has not the slightest loyalty to Blighty.

        That shows his ‘maturity’.

      • I don’t think he has much in common with Mr Patel at the corner shop.

        Thats where poorl Javid made the mistake..

        He went on about the ‘corner shop’ he grew up in.

        Fuck that

        While Rishi was practising his ‘Blair’ delivery.

        Replete with thumb and forefinger.

        The cunt even sounds like him. As RT says.

        What a cunt. But we’ve got to live with him.

        Fuck Boris and his ‘fantasy world’

      • didn’t our once glorious leader Maggie grow up in a corner shop, maybe its a condition of getting the PM job

    • wouldn’t vote for anything that sounds like a takeaway,
      mushroom rishi with a chicken sunak,
      but no one has asked me to vote so fuck the stinky bastard

  14. The smells of food cooking in our house would always determine if I was going to go to bed hungry, with an empty tummy.
    Smells such as dynaglass curry, or cabbage.

  15. Shit myself at work years back following a dodgy ham sandwich. Brown/yellow liquid running out of my trouser leg like a broken fire hose and contamination of shoe and sock. Not fun.

    I can’t abide fussy eaters. Lived with a wench who was a fabulous cook but due to many food issues lived off a diet of fried eggs and spinach.

    In other news, BJ has announced he’s not running, so let’s get ready for Rishi.

  16. I would be wary as fuck of anything simmering on Fidler’s stove. Magpie? Bat? Hedgehog? Fuck knows. Call me a fussy cunt.

  17. I had someone quite dear to who cooked exquisite foods, now alas no more. I would longingly live to eat her delicious delights. Now alone, I eat any old thing to keep me alive.

  18. My bird’s niece is a nightmare. Sometimes she stays with us and she wont eat this, wont eat that and adding a little scrunched up nose face or an “errrrr” as we offer her our hard earned food.

    Now, her mum panders to her “eating disorder” to the point she rules the roost at home. Not in my fucking house she doesn’t, the little shit. She’s learnt that she eats what we eat in my house or she starves for the weekend and guess what, she eats what we give her now with no drama and says she enjoys it. It took a few goes, but she’s got the message now. The minute she gets home though, she’s off again.

    Most of these these eating disorders are a load of bollocks (like dyslexia…bone fucking idle or thick more like). I know these disorders are real, of course they are, but they are a lot less prevalent than people realise.

    Has anyone noticed the rise of fussy eating, not being able to read properly, the throwing of fits when things don’t go their way etc coincides with the abolition of corporal punishment and the right to chastise an errant child? Thats not a coincidence.

  19. I would rather eat that than the shitty kfc i had recently, not good anymore, kuntucky fried cunts, what the fuck have they done to the fries.

    • I genuinely can’t believe i used to eat that muck. It was twenty years ago when I was at college, but still. I think a large part of it is the nearest one was/is terrible compared to how I remember it.
      I’ve gone off kebabs and Mcdonalds as well.

  20. Cats are the fussiest cunts. They’ll refuse the brand they’ve loved for years all of a sudden. They’ll look at you as if to say,”What the fuck is this? Do you really think I will actually eat that you cretin?” They’ll refuse cooked mackerel if it’s been in the fridge (only want fresh you human cunt). Bowl must be on the left not the right today. They’ll push it to starvation.

    Then, the cunt will lick its own arsehole.

    What the fuck is that shit?

  21. Grew up eating everything put in front of me. Only thing I don’t eat is sushi. Can’t see the point, cold and raw.
    One thing I’ve noticed, is cunts asking “ is it gluten-free ?” In cafes or restaurants/pubs.
    These cunts think that gluten is bad, and that’s why gluten free stuff is now available. They’ll order from the GF menu, then buy a pint of beer or order GF meal and a side of fucking garlic bread.NO you thick attention seeking cunt, we need gluten. The only people that require a gluten free diet, are those who suffer from Coeliac disease. One microbe of wheat gluten, and they’re really I’ll . Cunts.

  22. My Mrs (and alot of her work friends) fucking love rice field rat, not the city sewer rats. I class it the same as rabbit or squirrel. They have little rat eating parties where everyone is invited when it’s available. It’s not my cup of tea to be honest.

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