Tempest Photographers

Tempest photographers are greedy money grubbing cunts.

We attended our grandsons graduation at Lincoln on Thursday. It was a great day, everyone was in a happy mood and the actual ceremony in the cathedral was special. In the grounds of the castle, where the festivities were taking place was a tent sectioned up, where photographers were.

These are obviously optional but who doesn’t want a photo of your grandson, proud as a peacock in cap and gown?

We’ve found out the cunts want £70 for one photo and it’s file on a CD, yes you read it properly, 1 fucking photo. Exploitative cunts.

The fuckers have you over a barrel, yes we took pictures with our phones, and yes they are nice, but not the same as a professional one with a proper flash set up.

He was expecting around £40, which is plenty to pay but the cunts seem to have upped the cost somewhat. I fucking hate having the piss taken out of me and the family by some bastards with a camera.

They will have made a killing, the graduates were queuing up to have their photos taken. £70 fucking quid, bastards.

Tempest Graduation Site Link

Nominated by: Bertram Cuntatious DCO



43 thoughts on “Tempest Photographers

  1. For £70 I would want a photograph of Liza Nandy, stark bollock naked, except for a pair of stilleto heeled shows, posing with her hands holding up those lovely enormous breasts and pouting suggestively. That would be the only time I would spend so much money on a photo, and I would expect it framed at that rice

    • Well said Mr Boggs.

      An enterprising fellow could use Nanny’s no doubt splendid baps as a distraction for the photographer,then use his set up to take a lovely portrait.

      Unless the photographer was suffering with Gayness,in which case you’d have to show him your arse.

      Oh dear I haven’t really thought this through haha.

  2. In the past, a pro photograph was an 8×12 inch nitrate negative, they even had 16×24 inch nitrate negatives. AMAZING quality. Expensive, but if it was a photograph that was to endure for a lifetime and beyond, then that’s what you went for, whether it was a graduation photo, baby photo or Nazi high command uncle. These digital photos tend to look… adequate at best. No way I’d spend 70 quid on a print of some pixels.

    • Nitrate? That was a few years back. I burnt me eyebrows off a few times with that stuff. Explosively flammable. A good few old school Kinemas burnt their patrons to death with that stuff. Brilliant to watch the burning of Atlanta scenes from Gone With The Wind though using Carbon Arc projectors.

  3. Sorry to rub salt in but Tempest have previous:

    These cunts are “Official” photographers to unis all over the country. Doubtless they pay the largest bungs to the unis for the privilege. Similar to the exorbitant cost of pay TV in NHS hospitals. Vaguely remember this coming up before years ago. Clearly nothing has changed so unless you are prepared to go Full Monty and complain long loud and large to press and TV then you are pissing in the wind.
    ISAC could organise a fake Dead Pool Reunion with the sole intention of not paying the scamming cunts a bean.

    • After graduating with a degree in Drag-Queen Studies, I’d imagine that the student is more than willing to toss 70 shekels at the Tempest Photography.

  4. Yes, Sam, indeed.
    I think I paid around £70 back in 1976 for my entire nuptials, including photographer, cars, hire for the evening venue with DJ.
    Parents paid for the champagne breakfast and the evening buffet, bless them both, wherever they may be, and Dog bless Moss Bros.
    Elegant occasion, like a society wedding.

    • Modern weddings sound horrible, I haven’t been to any recently, but they sound painful with the women acting like it’s a Kardashians show. Waste of money, just get hitched and have a normal piss-up, no need to spend a minimum of 30-grand or have gold-plated swans shitting on the guests.

      • Oh, it was splendid, Le Cunt.
        We hired The Sheffield Star photographer.
        The wedding cars were John Heath, funeral director, with white ribbon and a bit of white satin.
        The DJ was blind, I hired him as a favour, but fuck me, he was top notch.
        The other half wore a hippy dippy dress with a big hat, and towered over me even in 1 inch heels and I looked like a fucking Mafia hit man who’d had too many cannolli.

  5. Its a cunt when they have you over a barrel.
    A photo file on a cd wouldn’t be worth a bollox to me as I’m an iMac user and what is the file size, is it 16 bit tiff or a jpeg.
    Now if they printed something like an A3 size photo on standard photo paper theyd still be Quids in, the hungry cunts.
    The photraghers probably got less than a tenner a shot if it that was used by Tempest
    I always hated certain types of agencies for there “fuck you, do you want it or not” attitude

    • Actually, they don’t.
      So many mobile devices take outstanding images, should you have the time and patience to frame them properly, and apps like Photoshop can add/merge suitable backgrounds.
      Personally, I’d rather have a spontaneous photo than a staged one any day.

      • Fair enough Jeezum, but not everybody can frame up and process, edit and mask in a background and so on
        Those ordinary proud for a day parents and partners were shafted by the Uni as there was no alternative.
        Why couldn’t University and colleges pick a bunch of reputable pro photographers from the surrounding areas, its not rocket science and the parents or students can engage in the process and maybe get a print that’s worthwhile for 70 quid.

      • I have a 12 year old Granddaughter who can make a still snap of me look like a bunny, with my suitabily morphed face, hopping through a field of daisies.
        So, some decent snaps can easily be enhanced by your local 12 year old.

  6. Why don’t you simply call the cheeky cunt and offer him 20 quid?
    No harm in asking.
    I recently managed to get a 25% reduction in a solicitor’s bill just by politely asking her to reduce her hourly rate and she did, much to my astonishment.

    • I do hope it keeps you out of the clutches of HM Prison Service Thomas.

      Your posts would be sorely missed.

      • Dear me I really must cut down on the cocktails..

        Everyone knows prisoners are given a brand new IPhone when they are incarcerated.

        So you could still join in here..

        Unless the free stuff is just for Afghans and such?


      • Evening UT.
        The moment I’m arrested for my appalling wrongdoings, I shall claim to be a tran§bumder and demand all my wimmin’s rights.
        Oh, and a muzzıe wimminz too.

      • I would expect nothing less..indeed I would masquerade as a transientsexual Iranian with a headscarf (possibly lethal) deficiency to set up a GoFundme account to fish you out of it afore you molested the Lesbianists out of their torpor and completely ruined your reputation.

      • Any self-respecting trans woman would be in awe of your magnificent moustache Mr Cunt Engine.

      • Indeed I do, JP…truly the biggest, gayest moustache of 2022.
        A proper Lord Kitchener.
        Being super-skinny, I currently look like a wussy version of that prison fellow Charles Bronson.

      • I’m not up to date on TtCE’s current moustache status JP but Movember is not too far off so maybe he is in training and growing a proper bristly fucker!

  7. I’m too young and hip to have grandkids.

    And I’d not pay £70 as ransom if they’d been kidnapped nevermind a photograph.

    We have no pictures up of family.
    Just me and the dog.

    • Too right Miserable, J. Paul Getty had the right idea when his grandson was kidnapped and refused to pay. It was only after they cut off his ear and sent it to a newspaper in the post that the old bastard eventually coughed up.

      • Yeah, that was Mr Getty all over.

        I’ve cut out the kids faces from family photos and replaced them with the dogs image,

        My favourite photo is the 10ft x12ft art canvas of myself nude on a sheepskin rug in the living room.

        Very tastefully done.
        A snip at 3 grand.

  8. These shitehawks also infest a number of schools, charging an arm, leg and kidney for the privilege of your child’s photo..

    What with these and the greedy cunts who hold the school uniform supply contracts, every September is a month where these cunts are deft at picking your pockets.

  9. Election time tomorrow in the poxy war zone ,starts at 7.00 am GMT, wonder if Tempest are covering it for 70 smackers a shot. maybe not as no ones covering fuckall from the area bar a few that cannot get their reports out.
    i think the escalation is about to dramatically increase from the ruskie if this election is interfered with by shelling and drones.
    The 3 hundred thousand conscripts and ex reserves that are being called up are not for cannon fodder but are to release the 2 hundred thousand ruskie troops and the other 80 odd thousand of various types from securing their positions so they can fully unleash an assault with not having to worry about what’s behind them.
    My tuppence worth.

  10. I preferred Lincoln pre university, so much interesting fauna and flora on the areas where the majority of the university stands. The railway warehouse, serving eviction notices on pikeys.
    The whole city was more peaceful (in a none Islamic way) a place where many things had passed by.
    Now apart from the cathedral and Steep Hill the magic has gone.
    Sorry to ramble on know fuck all about Tempest photography, but have enjoyed living in Lincolnshire these past years.

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