Manchester United – A Tsunami of Shite

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Manchester United are cunts. (Without even looking at the author, I just knew this nom was from our Norm – Day Admin)

I have heard all the usual crap: ‘New season! New manager! New start!’
Well, all I can see is the same rapacious vermin owners, the same ineptitude and lack of ambition, and the same array of festering turds on the team sheet.

First of all, Erik Ten Thingy. It wouldn’t matter if he was the greatest manager going (which I don’t think he is!), not even Sir Matt (RIP) or Cloughie (RIP) could do anything with the useless pieces of shit on United’s books.

Which leads us to the players themselves. Lazy, arrogant, slack arsed cunts like McGuire and Rashford have got yet another second chance. Yet they just stroll around with their usual ‘don’t give a fuck’ attitude. Pissing in the face of the new manager and the supporters.

McGuire is the worst defender and captain in our club’s history. And Rashford is a useless turd. They are not the only ones though. Sacks of shit like McTominay, Fred, Shaw, Bruno, and Dalot should be put down and sold for glue. When Brighton and Hove Albion can bully Man United at Old Trafford and play them off the park, then you know you are well and truly fucked and your team isn’t worth a shite.

Then there is the Glazers and their laughable ‘input’. As usual, the United of modern times go for some mercenary cunt who doesn’t want to play for the club unless he’s paid enough (some cunt called Frankie De Schlong).

So, they don’t get him and they have no other options. So they panic at the last minute go for yet another joke of a 30 odd year old relic of a striker that no cunt has ever heard of.

Once this club signed daredevils and heroes like Hughes, Cantona, Van Nisterlrooy, Keane, and Robson. Now we are lucky if we get some Brentford reject. An absolute joke. We know the owners are scum, human leeches. But surely nearly 20 years of piss taking is enough?

I will say now, that this team of cunts will not get a Top 4 place, they will not win a major trophy, and they will not play in the old United tradition. The new ‘start’ and the new manager doesn’t change a thing.

You can put a ribbon around a turd. But, at the end of the day, it is still a turd. No wonder Ronaldo wants to fuck off. (And relax! – Day Admin)

Nominated by: Norman

(Fucking ‘ell Norm, the season is only 1 game in at time of writing and already you’re ready to top yourself! – Day Admin)

(Update: Sorry, should say TWO games in… – Day Admin)

BBC Sports Link 1

‘A joke’, ‘bullied’ & ‘rotten’ – are Man Utd at rock bottom?

108 thoughts on “Manchester United – A Tsunami of Shite”

  1. I see mother Teresa rashford has been quiet on the social justice front lately.
    I wonder if it has to do with the whole cost of living crisis, and being lectured by a millionaire tax avoider. I for one would be happy to support he’s next crusade with my tax money. Free gas and electricity for lazy cunts. Could be a vote winner.

  2. Well personally, I’d love it,really,really love it if Man.United’s poor form caused that shitty-knickered old pisspot…Alex Ferguson….to hilariously spontaneously combust..when I say “spontaneously combust”…I’d actually settle for “someone put a match to the alcoholic dosser and he went up like a Roman candle while people cheered and pissed anywhere but on the flames”

    Man U. can Fuck Off…something that 90% of their glory-hunting fans will have already done,no doubt.

    • Is Gordon Strachan dead yet?…I fucking hope so,weaselly little shite-hound.

      • I remember Strachan, on Match Of The Day, years ago, when Des Lynham was host and Gary Lineker was still black, being interviewed when one of his players got sent off for tripping someone up, saying:

        “I usually defend my players, but ye cannae defend that, it was like a golf swing”.

        Very amusing, I thought, and I can’t imagine any of the cunts saying that, nowadays.

    • I also hope that the delightful Glazer family wring every last penny out of the club and leave them looking like the poor man’s Hartlepool United.

      • Always liked you, knew you were a decent sort.

        Man U are the devil’s shite, in gay shirts. Ronaldo is a overpaid, prancing queen, de gea has done his back from lobbing the ball in so many times.

        I loathe Scumchester and am thoroughly enjoying watching the morons self destruct.

  3. Nobody cares Norman, except you and the usual Home Counties little wankers who are “ die hard “ United fans…., the sort of cunts who don’t even know where Manchester is.
    The rest of us remember how cocky and mouthy you lot were when you were winning everything so fuck you now. I hope you get relegated and the Glazers turn that shithole into a council tip. Imagine the humiliation of sharing the Etihad? 😁😁 I fucking love it!

      • I find your anti-East Anglian racism quite disturbing.

        Did your favourite sheep leave you?

      • As a resident of East Angular, I find his xenophobia most refreshing and somewhat endearing. 😊

    • Always had a soft spot for Ipswich. Because of that great side with Bobby Robson (RIP) as manager. With Eric Gates, Arnold Muhren, Joihn Wark, Paul Marniner and the others. I’ve always recognised and respected other teams who played beautiful football. Even the Man City side of the 70s had my grudging respect. Colin Bell (RIP), Dennis Tueart, Asa Hartford, Peter Barnes, Gary Owen and all them lot played some lovely stuff.

  5. Even if they get relegated – they’ll still be the best supported club in the country.

    However, in the modern era that practically means fuck all.
    This severe rot set in when the Glazer family took control of the club in 2005.
    The cracks that started to appear were papered over by the fact Ferguson was still there with a prime Ronaldo, Ryan Giggs (the greatest player to play for the club despite his alleged misdemeanours) Paul Scholes and a young Wayne Rooney.

    Fast forward a few years and a few managers you have a situation where half a billion pounds worth of players have practically downed tools and can’t be bothered to even run around as much as the opposition.

    Re-signing a well past his best cunt like Ronaldo who just stands around pouting and waiting for the ball to come near him is a microcosm of the way this club has been ran into the ground.
    They finished runners up in the league the season before he went back there.

    A joke of a club with a very real chance of relegation whose only hope for me is to back this new manager and give him time without hitting the panic button.
    A potential year or two in the second tier may be a blessing in disguise at this point.

      • ‘they’ll still be the best supported club in the country.’

        I think Liverpool and Man City could soon usurp them. Man Utd used to get a lot of support in deepest Sussex, Hampshire and Surrey, as did Liverpool. A lot of kids just want to support the winners and avoid teasing.

    • Very insightful post there, Herman. And spot on about the support.

      That’s the thing, Herman. The vast support has always been there. Even in that season in Division Two (1974-75), the crowds were massive and the away support was immense. It’s true that scores of gloryhunting knobheads appeared after that title win in 93. But the stupid myth that almost all United’s true support is from the Home Counties is total bollocks. Tony Wilson (RIP) had it right when he said 75% of Manchester was red and 25% was blue. The support United have always had in Manchester is huge. All this crap about reds being southerners who all appeared in the 90s. Who the fuck do they think it was turning up in droves in the 60s and 70s? Especially the 70s, when we got relegated in 1974 and won only one trophy in 1977. And what about the huge support during the Big Ron years of the 80s? Gloryhunters from down south, my arse.

      Also what sort of knob says that Old Trafford is in Salford? Jesus Christ…

  7. You may be interested to know Norman that, here in Londonstabistan, 95% of the complete wankstains wearing United branded clothing are w*gs. Having said that 55% of the general population are w*gs and if you bung in the illegals that’s about right I suppose. The point is the Glazers are making a pretty penny out of these p*nces and that’s all they give a fuck about.

    • Utd fans can complain about the Glazers all they want. They couldn’t give a flying fuck, as long as mugs keep buying the latest tat and the cash cow keeps shitting dollars. If they sell their soul to devil, they have to dance to his tune. Any sport that has any association with Linecunt must be a pile of cunt, anyway.

  8. Man Utd can fuck off. A club full of greedy wankers who are now crying that things aren’t going their way. Pissed off coz their fat yank owners have gotten bored of their toy football club.

    I remember the smug cunt class of 92′

    Look how all these cunts turned out:

    -Beckham an utter vain show pony cunt.
    -Ryan Giggs a serial wife beater, vile cunt
    -Paul Scholes a fetid ginger cunt who turned his back on England when called up to play to concentrate on ‘Club’……….Fucking Cunt!
    -Phil & Gary Neville two of the biggest clowns to ever wear an England shirt and a national embarrassment.

    The pricks above are just an example of how Man Utd is a breeding ground of wrong-uns. There are many more names, too numerous to mention that could easily fill that list of cunts especially the current first team.

    Man Utd can go fuck itself, along with all the glory hunting plastic-Manc fans who couldn’t even find Manchester on a a god damn Map!

    • Goal scorer legend Alan Shearer quit playing for England to concentrate on his club as well.

      The club’s pay the players wages.

  10. Why do folk get so eggy about 22 millionaires kicking a ball around in a field whilst being watched by several thousand gullible, unnecessarily aggressive men?
    Never have understood it.

    • That’s the past Thomas. Now its 22 underpaid strong independent women kicking a ball about watched by several hundred schoolkids, bored Karen’s and beta males.

      • That’s the soon-to-be past, LL.
        Next year, it’ll be wall-to-wall tran§bumders playing, mincing round with feathery boas, watched by an audience of fat feminists of both physical genders, all of whom have macaw-coloured hair and couldn’t run 50 yards without collapsing.

      • They should sign up Jess Phillips to pay for Lezza United. Her manager, Keith Starmer will arrange a good deal for her – provided she can find her jockstrap.

    • I’ve never understood the unnecessary aggression. Ruins the sport and gets you tarred as a ‘mindless football thug’ by association. Hardly any of the blokes I work with or know follow football these days, partly because of the thuggishness and tribalism of the fans, partly the ridiculous wealth and fawning over stupid arrogant young men kicking a ball around. I always tell them I agree completely, but I just enjoy the game itself, not the culture of wank surrounding it.

  11. They were so bad last night I was laughing at them. Almost as bad as women’s football. Almost.

    I agree with everything Norm says but there are many (like Gary fucking Neville) who seem to blame everything on the ‘Glazers’.

    At the end of the game with Brentford, it showed Brentford’s starting XI cost £55 million. Utd’s was close to half a billion.

    People can blame the owners all they want (I’m sure they’re cunts etc) but that shite last night was a bunch of multi millionaire cunts who couldn’t be arsed to get stuck in and graft.

    The squad is filled with dodgy characters (Rashcunt, Maguire etc) who think they’re far better than they actually are. If the going gets tough, how dare you expect them to work hard.

    Ronaldo is an all time great, but not the sort of player you need in a crisis. He’s a fucking peacock you put in a great team, not one in trouble.

    Fred? Fuck me, if he gets in the Utd team then so do I. Shaw? More pace in a geriatric ward.

    They bought badly, but if the owners did step in and tell the manager not to buy this guy but to buy that guy, what would the fans say then? Neville said the owners should step in regarding recruitment. That means doing the manager’s job for him. The new manager is a good one. The last one was good too. What’s wrong?

    Clear out your trouble makers.

    But how would fans react if the owners stepped in and told the boss what to do and who to buy? Well, unless the owners (who know fuck all about football) got lucky, the fans would be whining much more than they are now.

    They’re damned if they do and damned if they don’t.

    They probably could and should invest more though. £500m is a lot (for a first XI) but Utd could probably do twice that.

    But then again, they did spend £80 million on Harry Maguire lol.

    Nice to see no knee bending though this weekend.

    • I wonder what happened to those huge fuck off BLM banners that once adorned the corner seats at the Emirates once they were removed?
      Folded up and dumped in the caretakers cupboard?
      Wonder if they’re for sale on eBay?
      Or maybe they’ll be used to decorate Sasha’s coffin when she finally snuffs it.

      Morning CB.

      • ISAC could hold a raffle with the winning prize being the winner gets to be the one to switch her life-support machines off😃

        (Fuck me, that’s awful, on The Sabbath, too!!)

      • Morning DCI, speaking of switching off life support, did you know that it was Ellen DeGeneres that switched off her ex-bird Anne Heche’s machine yesterday?
        True story, that.

      • ‘Morning, Thomas. No, I didn’t know that. Closest I’ve cone is at an arrest, the pt’s on the Lucas – machine that peeforms CPR, fucking brutal – and we’ve called it but kept the Lucas going so the family can say goodbye, and then switch it off when they’re ready. Or, if no Lucas, carry on maually performing CPR until they’ve said goodbye. A choker, really, especially if relatives are ‘Just coming’ and you have to carry on and wait until they turn up, knowing it’s futile.

      • Ellen gave Anne a quick fingerblast before pulling the plug.
        For the rest of the day, her fingers smelled like yummy bbq…🤭

      • Morning HJ.

        Probably sold them to Gareth Wokegate, so he can display them outside his house.

    • “Nice to see no knee bending though this weekend”

      I noticed that, too. At least I didn’t have to start knocking back beta-blockers two minutes into Match Of The Day, for a change.

  12. A season like their first two matches and I can see the home ground being sold off for “affordable” housing (cheap flats, of course) and a Tesco “convenience” store.

  13. All the pre-game talk from the mindless TV pundits were bigging up Man U to thrash little Brentford as part of a wake-up call after the Brighton defeat the previous week.

    The first half Brentford played United off the park. You could call it an embarrassment but it was more than that. United got schooled by a passionate, hungry club – a team of players with few egos and just wanted to raise their own game to shoot down big clubs like United. And they did just that!

    Post game and unfortunately everyone was talking about how/why United lost rather than give any major credit to the way Brentford won. Yes, there may have been a paragraph or two about Brentford outclassing United, but the headlines will always remain the same.

    United have Liverpool next – a clash of the Big Cunts with Baldy Clueless managing United and Goggle-eyes Jaws for the Bin Dippers, along with probably a billion quid’s worth of “talent” on the pitch. Whatever the result it will never match the Brentford game for pure entertainment and tactical achievements by a “small” club.

    • Or, more like an under fifteens club thrashing an international wimmins team. That’ll never happen, would it?

  14. If Wokegate still decides to pick Rashford and Maguire for the WC England team, then it says a lot about what a major unambitious cunt Wokegate really is if he can only pick players based on who they are rather than current form.

  15. Its to be expected when a whole league is left I control or greaseballs and spicks. A Normal day at the office for these cunts

  17. FFS, can I not have a quiet afternoon by the pool without some cunt mentioning shitball?? I think I’ve told you before that as I live in a Muslim country I take great delight in telling GRAB drivers that ask about Man Utd or Chelsea, the only 2 teams they ever mention, that premier league players are all confirmed homosexualists! You should see their faces.

  18. If it’s such a big problem that the team you support loses a game of football you need to look a bit harder at your life.

    United fans enjoyed looking down on everyone during their years of dominance but they don’t seem to have the grace and fortitude to support the team through lean times.

    Suck it up!

    Is it right that you can hear the scum at Anfield laughing whilst your stood in the stands at the theatre of nightmares?

    • Yeah, that “Theatre of Dreams” bollocks always made me laugh. The only dreaming now is by the players as they are half asleep most of the time
      Saint ‘five houses’ Rashford, the champagne socialist and philanthropist (at the taxpayers expense ) can go and fuck himself.

    • Quite agree. I’m a rugby fab, (watch Match Of The Day, but, don’t support any team), and I support my home City’s team, whichever league they’re in. You support the team, not the fucking league, supposedly.

    • Old Trafford is starting to resemble a theatre.. a burned-out vaudeville at the end of a pier.

  19. Last time I went to old Trafford you queued up at the turnstiles and it was 50p to get in the Stetford end…

    George best was pissed and missed the game, was sacked for the final time.

    I never went again. Got a nice A65 BSA lots more fun….🏍

      • Try and buy an M21 now, nostalgia is powerful. BSA bantams that we used to use as field bikes swapped for a few beers and a pack of fags are now desirable classics.

        My first bike was a BSA B40 with apes and a banana seat.

        I paid 40 quid for it, more than it was worth probably.

  20. Football, tennis all sport is utter shite get a proper job, hate sport with a passion. Grew up in a sports mad family fecking hated it and them. Think I must have been an adopted Amish brat.

  21. ‘McGuire is the worst defender and captain in our club’s history’

    At the club that bought in Phil Jones that is saying something.

  22. Good cunting but why pick on Man UTD? The whole cunting shooting match of English football is corrupt and for the life of me i will never understand why the average joe spends even one penny of his hard earned money on paid TV season ticket or replica shirts, supporting the luxury lifestyles of those *******. They must be mad, literally mad.

  23. I’m diagnosed with autism and dyspraxia and even I could do a better job than Harry Maguire.

  24. If anyone remembers the proposal from last year to introduce a European Super League for a select band of “top” clubs from countries around Europe, would this still include United even if they got relegated?

    Even though the idea was heavily criticised for being elitist and also meaning that no one got relegated, the plan was subsequently put on hold but has never been dismissed outright.

    I’m pretty sure we haven’t seen the last of it and if it does become reality the likes of United will probably be offered an automatic spot purely because of who they are and the money they generate rather than current form and achievements.

    • It’s already started stirring Techno, with the big 6 contemplating inviting Newcastle to the table. If there are 7 they have a third of the vote so can stop certain proposals. I’m guessing thinking they can be disruptive and bargain for what they want when it rears it’s head in another couple of years.
      All 6 should have been booted out to the Conference North and South so it would have taken them 5-6 years to get back in the Premier League.
      How I long for pre Premier League football when it wasn’t all about money.

  25. As much as it’s fun to laugh at Moan Utd, Norman has my sympathy. Having had a discussion with him once before on here, with me as a Palace fan, you can tell he’s a passionate football fan who supported United well before the Ferguson glory years.
    I hate seeing kids wearing predominantly Liverpool, Chelsea and fucking Barcelona shirts in mid Essex where I live. All little glory hunting cunts.
    As s kid they all supported Liverpool as they won everything. Now everywhere again supporting (that admittedly excellent) crazy German’s team. Hate the cunts and always will. Much rather see them at the bottom of the table. Seeing them not win a title for nearly 30 years was fantastic as they seemed to think they had a divine right too, just like many Man Utd fans do now.

    • Cheers, Fish Mitten😉👍. My best times as a supporter were the Docherty and Atkinson years (forget Dave Sexton🙄) of the 70s and 80s. Because the teams played exciting attacking football, and the fans were still an important part of it. The atmosphere at the games then was unbelievable, and the away trips were fantastic. It didn’t matter if we only won trophies here and there. The fact is that Tommy and Ron’s teams played with that swagger, and that was great as far as I was concerned. I am well aware that we attracted an immense amount of knobheads and gloryhunters (who I personally despised) during the Fergie era. But that was never why I got into it, and some here shouldn’t judge me by those stinking standards. I was there long before that, and hopefully I will be there later on, if we ever get back to what we once were.

      Some cunts think that football started with the bloody Premier League, and focus on that as the yardstick . But both Manchester United and Manchester City as they used to be (and many other clubs) existed long before that, and the history, heritage, and – yes – banter and staunch rivalries go way back. I’ve seen nearly 50 years of winning, losing, trophies, relegation, promotion and many run-ins with rival fans. All part of a once wonderful game that has gone badly wrong and is now totally rotten. Also, I am from Newton Heath. And MUFC was originally called Newton Heath LYR. So, they can cut out all that ‘local team’ bollocks.

  26. I was going to cunt Karen Carney but I’m mindful of too many footy noms. (By all means do a nom on Carney, and we will schedule it accordingly- Day Admin)

    With a straight face she said “Women’s football is a part of not apart from.”

    In other words, I took that as “I have a right to talk shite about men’s footy on the telly, even though it annoys the fuck out of all of you. And the ladies’ teams should be bankrolled by the money coming into the club (i.e. the men’s game).

    I wonder what would happen if men started a netball league and demanded to be pundits in place of wimminz? And demanded that the wimminz teams not only funded the men’s teams, but that they should get equal pay?

    Mind you, if any bloke demanded to start a netball team, I’d ever accept a drink off the cunt, but my point stands.

    I am fucking sick to death of seeing Karen fucking Carney taking utter bollocks. I also noticed Redknapp and Neville had a row while Carney said nothing. If either bloke had called any of her points out they’d be sacked for ‘sexist hate’.

    The male pundits can’t disagree with her so what’s the fucking point? Oh, and Roy Keane is a sell out cunt too for his woke comments on wimminz footy when asked about ‘the lionesses’.

    Fucking shithouse. Vieira was twice the player he ever was anyway, dirty gypo cunt.

    • Do a nom on the gobby trollop, cunty!

      Fucking birds, pontificating on a level they’ve never played at, and never will. Even happens in rugby, now. Fuck-all’s sacred anymore. If a bird had shoved a microphone in the face of a player when it was amateur, (heady days), she’d have been told: “Two sugars, luv”.

      And rightly so. Wimmin have NO place ‘punditing’ on mens sport.

    • Too true, Cuntybolocks.
      Keane making a total arse of himself.
      Mind you, it’s not the first time…😉

  27. Absolutely spot on with this nomination. I started supporting United in the days of Robson and Hughes (the good ones), and Phelan, Beardsmore and Blackmore (the not so good ones), and the one thing I loved about them was they gave absolutely fucking everything in every match, even when they were clearly outclassed by the likes of Liverpool and the Arsenal.
    They’d pick up red cards every other game because it meant something to not only win for United, but to lose for the club too. Then you go through the years and look at the likes of Van Nistlerooy, Keane, Stam, Ince, Giggs, Irwin, Cantona, Heinze etc. etc. etc…..undoubtedly world class, and even lads like Poborsky, Butt and May who were never going to be first choice but gave EVERYTHING when they pulled on the shirt. Then you come to this utter shower you see today. You are absolutely right, there’s a rot in that club so deep it probably shows up on Bobby Charltons dementia screenings, and everyone from top to bottom should be fucking ashamed of themselves.
    Fuck Maguire out of the captaincy, out of the club, and out of the country. Fred is the worst player I’ve seen in a United shirt, and Rashford makes me fucking combust with rage when I see him sauntering around the field with his flat head.
    The fact the Team is getting lumped by teams week in and week out for 12 months and they’ve not had a red card between them should tell you everything you need to know about the cunts.
    Get Stam in there as assistant manager this fucking week to break the legs of every undeserving cunt in that squad and start fresh for the Liverpool game.
    PS. Absolutely fuck the Glazers.

    • Couldn’t agree more, cunt o’macunto.
      Phelan.. Always wonder why Fergie signed him. At least we could see why he wanted Neil Webb at the time. But Phelan?

      Remember the Phelan song? To the tune of the Righteous Brothers ‘You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling’:

      ‘We’ve got that Micky Phelan
      .Whoa-Oh that Micky Phelan
      We’ve got that Micky Phelan
      And he’s bald, bald, bald…’

  28. Fussball. Designed to be a 24/7 365 thing by ‘the powers that be’ in order to distract the sheep and others from what’s really going on.

    I really really couldn’t give a fuck about Manchester Rovers or Liverpool Scallies, Newcastle Town etc etc.

    The fans moan and moan, the pundits talk shit… nothing fucking changes.

    • You’re probably right,Leo.
      As Anthony Burgess (RIP) once said ‘They took away our opium, and they gave us beer and football’.

      Definitely a working class thing. Or, at least,it was…
      Still, if it’s in the blood, it’s hard to shake off.

  29. Breaking News …… Man United to offer Sarina Wiegman job as head coach!!

    Apparently she is pretty good at getting the best out of a bunch of pussies

    😂😂😂

  30. It does seem the malaise does run through the entire club. Their under 23’s also lost. 1-5 at home to Crystal Palace.

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