Keep Scotland Beautiful

(Nicola Krankie offering blowies for a bag of chips – Day Admin)

Don’t feed seagulls because their poo pollutes the sea‘, campaign claims”

Yes and bears pollute the woods.

This (tax payer funded) gibberish comes from a charidee called ‘Keep Scotland Beautiful’ (Good luck with that! – Day Admin).

I presume these intellectual giants long for the old days when seagulls used the facilities provided, unlike the average Jock.

Apparently they are also combatting climate change. The charidee that is not the dirty arsed gulls. No doubt when it becomes wee Krankies fiefdom this lot will sort out climate change down as far as Berwick.

MSN News Link

Nominated by: Cuntstable Cuntbubble

59 thoughts on “Keep Scotland Beautiful

  1. Keep Scotland beautiful 🤔
    Best idea is to refuse re entry to bloater blackford.

    Maybe they could use his carcass as a off shore island for the fucking seagulls to life.

  2. What about other sea birds?
    Why do puffins get to shit in the sea unremarked on?
    The humble chiploving seagull is a wonderful animal,
    Likes council tips,
    A chippy tea,
    Attacking timid types,
    Theyre what make scotland beautiful.

    If you look lower down theres a story about a 52yr old bloke who had sex with a pony high on drink an drugs.😮

    The bloke high not the pony for clarification.

    • Hahahaha I saw that story about the guy and a pony. He had a fucking carrot too.

      My missus loves 🥕🥕 I’m on a winner here.

  3. The next time McCranky wants another Indyref, EVERYONE gets a vote. Scotland can do one and McCranky can fuck off into the sunset. Nausiating cunt.

    • Its funny but whenever I hear a scot speak,
      And it can be a little old lady or a urbane David Niven type,
      It always sounds like theyre asking for spare change for Tennants super?

  4. Solution, ban the production and sale of chips then let them eat bannocks. No one likes bannocks, Sturgeon would be hanging from a lamppost within a week.

      • Oatcake. The ones I’ve had are like an Anzac biscuit but tasteless with no golden syrup, comparable to stock feed cake but no sugar I imagine.

  5. Make seagulls wear nappies..I would pay good money to watch krankie trying to attach one, watching it peck out her dead cold eyes..

  6. Ah that’s right I forgot. Seabirds didn’t shit in the sea until a few years ago when the ‘climate emergency’ was announced.

    • Same with cows farting all that methane into the atmosphere.

      They’ve been doing it for thousands of years, but only in the last 5 years has it become a “climate catastrophe”

  7. If you want to keep Scotland beautiful you need to kick out Nicola Sturgeon and get Moira Anderson (at least as she was in 1970) to replace her, with her fine old Scottish airs: “If a body meets a body/Comin’ throu the rye/If you dare to touch my body/I will black your eye”.

    Keep the shortbread and get rid of the fried Mars Bars, and send over Blackford for a fight to the death with Kweer’s snooty cutie, Emily Thornberry, in radioactive mud. The winner to be beheaded with a fine old Scottish sword, the loser already face down with a broken neck. Doesn’t matter which way round – two lardarses for the price of one.

  8. Let’s just assume the cunts at this charity are actually enemy spies and fucking shoot them.

  9. Pathetic,childish nonsense….”their poo pollutes the sea”….I bet the Cunts are the same type who keep their pale,sickly brats locked up in their bleach-scoured,air-tight homes in case they pick up “germs” while playing outside.

    I hope their “no natural immunity” bodies give up the ghost when the next virus strikes.

  10. Notice how the most vociferous patriot doesn’t live in the country they’re supposed to love so much? Welsh are good at this. Welsh paramedic, young ‘un, harping on about rugby results, once, so in a crowded (for a change) crew room, I asked him if he loved Wales. Of course the reply was ‘Yes’.

    “Still live and work in England though, son”.

    To much laughter, including his, to be fair.

    • Sean Connery was an advocate of loving his mother country so much he couldn’t bear to live there. He used to pop over from Barbados every four or five years at election time to try and influence the voting for a country he no longer lived in.

    • I too am an exiled patriot, like the East Anglian Aussie fucker on here. I live in England as a penance for youthful ‘misdemeanours’
      And do missionary work in Yorkshire.

    • I find living somewhere else tends to make you a bit more patriotic.
      I spent a lot of time in southern England years ago because of a long distance relationship. Never been a patriotic Welsh man, but there’s nothing like being slagged off for being a Taff to bring a bit to the surface.
      Beyond that, I couldn’t give a fuck.

      • Southern England, especially the South East, will be a very different country in its own right before too long.

  11. I wonder where these jocks think fish go for a poo? Best play it safe and hook all the dirty fuckers out before they destroy the planet.
    At least they’ll have some sort of meagre income to pay for independence, as opposed to England paying for it.
    Thick cunts!

  12. Thats one well behaved Gull. Sitting in the photobooth at just the right level and pose waiting for the flash. I assume the piccie is for its ‘diving licence’.

    I know i know. I can go get fucked!

    • Very good E.G.C. but er…no! That seagull’s female, it’s got it’s mouth open!

  13. There’s only three good things about Scotland.

    Single Malts.

    Tunnock’s products.

    The M74 southbound.

    Get tae fuck, you gnat and Buckfast ridden bastards.

  14. I like the idea of controlling the climate as far south as Berwick, good one!
    Presumably these loons would be happy if we get rid of all these ‘polluting’ animals and fish etc, and we just have sickly people left eating fungus food.

    • Westminster and Ofgem are working on such a theory as we speak. Only it’ll be a personal climate change as far south as the Isle of Wight this coming winter.
      At least the Scot’s have all that heroin to keep them warm.

  15. Actually one of my best shipmates came from East Kilbride and he told me that at E. Kilbride the pigeons fly upside down – nothing worth shitting on. That was in the days before Sturgeon and Blackford, of course.

    • I was once told, by a native of Maybole, that God would stick the hose in there if he wanted to give the world an enema.
      Such poetry… Rabbit Burns, eat your heart out (deep fry it first, though…).

  16. Scotlands ugliness isn’t down to geography or wildlife, more to ginger drink and drug addled flag shaggers.
    Fuck them.

  17. ‘Jonathan Livingston Seagull is a fable in novella form about a seagull who is trying to learn about life and flight, and a homily about self-perfection’

    The book never mentions Jonathan’s toileting. Rightly so. He was a far more concerned with higher things.

  18. I am on my holidays on Scotland just near North Berwick, They allow wild camping on the beach and walking the dogs an hour ago I saw a mother taking her two kids for a crap in the sea.

    • Sounds like a charming place 😂

      I was on a dive boat in the Red Sea many years ago and the on board toilet was broken, one of the female dive masters was desperate for a crap, she jump over the side and took a crap, she gave out a scream….. loads of fish (small ones) were surrounding her gobbling it up as fast as it came out 😂

      • The place is charming it’s just some of the people. If you allow wild camping ( there are about half a dozen tents in the dunes) then there’s going to be some “debris” . There are some public toilets available about 200 yards from the beach.

  19. Don’t need to feed the seagulls, the bastards help themselves

    This lot sound like a right waste of money like another fucking pointless bunch of parasites Welcome to Yorkshire.
    Going back to yesterday and the energy bills, if the government stopped funding all the useless quangos and dead end projects there would billions to help cut the bills.

  20. Lace your chips with bits of Alka-Seltzer, then let the Gulls help themselves.

    Cruel, but does the job.

      • I have a Swiss postcard of “The first seagull to break the sound barrier.”
        It’s in flames. Swiss humour can be quite good.

  21. I wonder why nobody thought of eating seagulls? They are big fuckers with a lot of meat on them so why not? Seagull pie, Seagull and chips, Seagull in sweet and sour sauce with egg fried rice, fried Seagull wings, think of the possibilities.
    It could be a great boost to the Scottish economy. It’s a better idea than the Krankies will ever come up with anyway. All they want to do is p*nce off the English taxpayer, the cunts.

    • No doubt Gordan Ramsey or that Fearnley-Whittingstall cunt will come up with the same idea and serve Seagull Pie & Mash and charge mug-punters £150 a throw!

    • I am sure there is a recipe in the Romanian Traveller’s Cookbook… Stun one seagull, drop into Corby trouser press (on top setting) with a bulb of garlic and half a pound of lard.

  22. “Keep Scotland Beautiful” sounds suspiciously like Gronald Grumpfs “Make America Great Again” Is Nicola Sturgeon a Neo Nazi Scottish supremacist?! Just saying…

  23. This is just like vegans and animal rights activists “Don’t eat cows because their massive farts cause so much pollution in the earths atmosphere”

    No fuck off with that you twats Start with oil and fracking companies before you start knocking on my door of the small amount of beef I consume on a yearly basis

  24. In Glasgow at the moment, never seen so many fat fucks and disability scooters. Where do those cunts take a shit? Most seagulls are on benefits and live on roofs near chipshops as far as I can see. Mind, you’re never far from a fast food outlet in Scotland. Or discarded hypodermic needles.

  25. Recent letter in Viz. Bloke was on a day out at Cleethorpes when he saw a ‘Do not feed me’ sign with a picture of a seagull. Bloke then said “How am I supposed to recognise that one seagull?”.

  26. Who goes swimming in Scotland? Bloody freezing in Winter and the same in Summer apart from 2 days in August.

  27. Nicola sturgeon visited Glasgow zoo and was bitten by a King Cobra, latest news reports say Cobra unlikely to survive.
    Poisonous little fecker she really is.

  28. Seagoing vultures. Sympathy is wasted on a seagull. They are, like nearly every other species of feathered vermin, protected species, so if you shoot one Chris Packham will eat you. However, as someone who lived for years next to an untreated sewage outfall into the Scottish sea, I can think of better solutions to the pollution problem.

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