French Phrases in Books

(I know the pic isn’t about phrases, but it shows how seriously fucked up they are at adding up. Bon appétit!  – Day Admin)

French phrases in books, or anywhere else for that matter, when there is a perfectly suitable English equivalent.

Much favoured by authors over the decades, seemingly as a way of demonstrating superior intelligence, I find it fucking annoying.

As I’m not completely thick, I can work some of them out, but there are also many that require a visit to Google translate that fucks up the reading experience. (Most of these poncey authors don’t even bother with a translation in brackets anymore) And quite often, the translation into English comes up with fewer words and syllables anyway, so why fucking bother?

And why does an author assume we know what they’re on about? I wouldn’t dream of assuming that Max Hastings would know how to fit a cam belt to a fiesta simply because I do.

It’s time we gave these hackneyed French phrases the coup de grace.

French Bollocks Link

Nominated by: Field Marshal Cuntgomery

Supporting link provided by: Miserable northern cunt


(Here’s a few more French phrases for you clever intellectual cunts: Day Admin – Glossary of French expressions in English )

73 thoughts on “French Phrases in Books

  1. Everything French can fuck off as far as I’m concerned, especially their fishing boats in our waters.

  2. There’s a fair few people I’d like to deliver the ‘Coup de grace’, to…

  3. British poseurs and p0ncés like to drop a line of frog into a statement.

    They think it makes them seem sophisticated.
    It doesn’t.
    It makes you look like Del boy.

    I wouldn’t entertain anything French.

    I refuse to eat french fries, slugs, garlic bread, tadpoles,
    Orangina, or Paris Hilton.

    If you want to be french go fuck your granny whilst smoking .🖕

    • You don’t fool us, Mis. Posh Northerners from the leafy suburbs of Stockport are known for their airs and graces. Whereas us commoners would be having apple pie and custard you’d be sitting down to Tarte aux Pommes avec crème Anglaise.

      • Hello Mr Dribbler!!👍
        Hope your well?

        Yes, your right really,
        But sure my horsemeat was really donkey,
        And the waiter didn’t even let the wine ‘breathe’!

        No, Ive got to say as a man of superb taste and a sophisticated palate,
        Their chips n gravy are abysmal.


        How dare you!!

      • Last time I went up north was Market Harborough. Lovely place and then some Chinese lady said we don’t like foreigners up here. I was like o’rly considering my family history I can trace back to Yorkshire. I won’t be back.

    • Paris Hilton?
      How about Scunthorpe Travelodge?

      People that call their ickle pwincess offspring “Chardonnay.”
      Never Bouzy Rouge… I wonder why?

  4. I was disappointed to discover the glossary wasn’t a French Roger’s Profanisaurus.

    • Das Krapital, an English masterpiece. My go to inflight reading. It should be mandatory reading on the A level (or whatever they are called these days) English literature syllabus. Might give the snowflakes a sense of what it means to be British.

  5. I don’t mind the French as they seem to have invented a splendid drink,lager with brandy in it.

    Goes down a treat dans le marina and costs a king’s ransom.

    The cheeky french cunts.

  6. Hmm – Frenchies is it?
    Fix bayonets!
    Where’s your navy petite Macron?
    At the bottom of a French harbour.
    Who did that?
    WE DID!
    And what the fuck are you going to do about it?
    That’s what I thought.
    “France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country.“

    • Good Evening Vernon,

      I looked that up as it was obviously a quote, by Mark Twain apparently. The rest of the quotation is fairly good as well
      ” I like to look at a Russian or a German or an Italian–I even like to look at a Frenchman if I ever have the luck to catch him engaged in anything that ain’t delicate. France has usually been governed by prostitutes.”
      The French are being such beastly fellows over Brexit that I am boycotting anything French as much as I can, although I am going there next week for the Le Mans Classic.

  7. I’ve actually been to France.
    I know, I know, I’m like Alan Whicker.

    Both times I was going somewhere more interesting, ( the delights of Amsterdam)
    But enough time to make a informed, concise summary on France as a country, it’s people, culture, and society.

    Fuckin Rubbish.

    • Judith Chalmers thought the same Miserable, “lazy, greasy weasel dicked inbred cowards who can’t drive” as her microphone was left on after filming an episode of ‘Wish You Were Here….?’ in Paris.

      National treasure but also a massive racist.

      • LL@

        Did Judith Chalmers transition into Eamonn Holmes?

        I can barely tell them apart!
        And was they triplets with other sibling Clancy becoming police chief in Springfield?

      • Good evening LL

        I had a mate who had a way with the ladies. Judith Chalmers met him whilst he was on his holidays in South Africa. According to Cliff and his 2 mutual friends who were out there with him she was a bit of a rampant nympho and wouldn’t leave him alone.

      • Evening Wanksock.

        Grab a Granny Night was it?

        They all count!

        Maybe he was thinking if he could get a discount as her plus one on the next SAGA cruise around the Norwegian fjords.

    • Loire Valley is lovely, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. Shame about the French.

  8. Someone I know is French, bit of a cunt and his wife is a me me me biatch…

    The type who takes dirty piss water French Vin de Table to a party and drinks the good stuff.

    His wife usually gets smashed up and embarrasses herself and falls over. Shame she’s not fit, could be a giggle.

    • Frog wimminz are pretty ugly. I’d go for Portuguese, Greek or Italian.

  9. Was down in Morocco early-2000s by the swimming pool of the hotel sunbathing lazily. This fit French women mid forties was also there with her 17 year old son and no sign of the father.
    She kept looking for notice, so I obliged by going for a dive into the pool and swam the length and back and emerged with little fuss in front of her.
    My fit body dripping with the scum of the pool water and my trunks now shrink wrapping my jewels, she was standing in front of me her pussy pushing forward from her bikini eyeing me from top to bottom and back up to middle ground again and then just shrugged with a sigh, “eehuhh” something like a grunt.
    Her 17 year old son pretended not to be interested in this affair.
    I dried as gracefully as I could and hoped nobody noticed but everybody did
    If that French cocksucker thought that I was going to kiss her arse for the next two weeks we’ll fuck that the bitch manipulator of men.
    After a few days of completely ignoring her she suddenly found interest in me again , I returned the gesture that she first gave me at the poolside with “eff off”

  10. What about poncey French lyrics right in the middle of an English language song eg Michelle by the Beatles, Denis by Blondie, Hold on tight to your dreams – ELO.
    That’s crap, that is.

    • I quite like the fact that it’s being sold on the Kraut version of Amazon – they would know, after all……..

  11. My 23 year old french teacher at school showed me her tits when I was 15.
    #metoo. I wanked for England in the following months. Cheers miss…

    • Having passed my O level and spent a week in Cap D’Agde, I consider myself an expert in French, but on most occasions you can usually get by with just two phrases – ‘Soixante-neuf’ and ‘Va te faire futre’.

      • Agde. .swingers central.

        Like ancient Rome in the summer months.

        So I’ve been told.

  12. I used to work with this French bird. Well fucking hot but completely fucking mental. I don’t know what the French for histrionics is……..probably something very similar.

  13. There was a lad at our school I always thought was french.

    Turns out he just had Downs syndrome.

  14. When Debbie Harry sings in French, I don’t half get the Horn 💪
    Mind you, I get it when she sings in English.
    But it doesn’t feel as dirty. 💋😍.

  15. My apologies admin. It seems that I have inadvertently brought out the francophobe in our fellow cunters, which of course, was not my original intention.

    Yeah, right. We believe you. Thousands wouldn’t – NA.

  16. I knew someone who studied French and Italian at university and pepper conversations with French and Italian words just to try and appear clever.

    What wasn’t as clever was not finding a work placement in either France or Italy in his third year because he was afraid to sleep in a strange bed, drink wine and get his dick wet.

    A complete pussy.

  17. The French may be cunts with their phrases and garlic permeated pores.
    But at least they have some bollocks, which is more than can be said for the lily-livered majority of this country’s pathetic, spineless population.
    We just accept everything. It’s time for civil unrest and a revolution, – and a fucking good clearout.

  18. Lot of time for the French. Had a French girlfriend for a couple of years, crazy beautiful person.
    Spent a lot of time in Normandy over the last 20 years, had nothing but a warm welcome every time.
    Over the jubilee holidays recently, there were cunts moaning about the abundance of union flags, comparing it to the fervour and nationalism of 30s Germany, proving to anyone who bothered to listen how little they know about history.
    I would tell them to avoid Normandy in June then, because the place is covered in union flags and bunting.
    The kids there are more likely to know who Bill Millin or Stanley Hollis were than our brats here too.

    • Alright Gutstick?👍

      Storming the beach at Normandy eh?
      Rhyls too good for you?
      Doesn’t look like Ruffs coming back does it?
      Nice to see you back and DCI.

      I once sat out a storm in Calais when I was about 19yr with some Californian that never stopped fuckin moaning,
      You’d think Europe was a theme park and he wanted his money back.
      In the end I said

      “why don’t you fuck off to America then?”

      I’ve always come to the aid of strangers.

      • Evening Mis. Aye, can’t call it a holiday if there isn’t a bunker to explore!
        I did nearly throw a couple of Japanese tourists into the wreck of the Arizona at Pearl Harbour for disrespectful behaviour, yammering loudly and taking grinning selfies with the tomb of 1200 sailors in the background.
        I did want to say, ‘you weren’t laughing 70 years ago you cunts’ but common sense prevailed!

  19. Ah, the French and their lingo.

    Mixed bag for me. Been to France many times. Some good trips. Some with questionable events. Off the top of my head:

    – Saw the Mona Lisa in The Louvre museum. It’s smaller than you think.
    – Been up the Eiffel Tower a few times. Each time the bitches in the ticket office were as miserable as sin.
    – Un café au lait avec les croissiants à Paris c’est magnifique
    (A coffee with croissants in Paris is magnificent – which it is – though just as good in Bruges)
    – Paris does pong a bit to be fair
    – The driving around the sort of roundabout near the Arc de Triomphe is mental
    – The Palace of Versailles is stunning
    – Trying to buy something in a shop and not use perfect native sounding French can result in the price going up (cunts)
    – Booze runs on the ferry to Calais hypermarkets were fun back in the day
    – French Franc paper money was beautiful
    – Charles de Gaul airport used to have a moving walkway that was more like a theme park ride – quite bizarre it was
    – learning French at school in a really boring, learn verbs by rote way
    (Duolingo makes it way more fun but it does need a cunting – if you’ve ever used it, you’ll know why)
    – Vanessa Paradis singing Joe Le Taxi

    Salut, mes amis. Vous êtes un tas de cunts.

  20. The “only” French lingo an English gentleman want to hear:

    “Fancy a soixant-neuf”

    When suggested by a beautiful woman, with impeccable personal hygiene 👍

    • Impeccable personal hygiene, you say?

      Well, she won’t be French then. 🙂
      (sorry, couldn’t resist)

      • Non!
        Le frog invented the Bidet😀
        Or do they only use it “after”, for douching?

  21. Well, the ‘definate articles’ still states that “Le” is masculine & “La” is feminine. Nothing has changed here, since I was forced against my will, I might add, to do French at school, some 50 odd years ago. So how they do an “It,” now? Or some cunt doing the “transition?” Fuck knows! School trips to Smelly Calais, didn’t do it for me. Never had any time for the snail eating cunts anyway.

    • Don’t mention the Apple War of October 1980 either. “If you Froggie Cunts don’t buy our apples, we won’t buy your condoms!”

      • Their president (Microbe or whatever he’s called)
        Never got prosecuted for defiling that corpse did he?

        Blatant about it!

        Fuckin tomb raider.
        Bet he’d try it on with Joe Biden?!

        His type.
        Dessicated almost mummified.

      • I don’t know much about Microbe Mis.

        But I do know that Marine Le Pen likes Le grand cocque noir up her shitter on the QT.

        And she loves to sit on an Englishman’s face, as she listens to No Regrets sung by Edith Piaf.

        She squirts like a good ‘un during the final notes, whilst chomping on a clove of garlic.

  22. Couldn’t knock their cars though! Forget that shit they are selling today.
    The best (apart from Bugatti) are unfortunaty no longer in production.
    De dion Bouton 1883
    Panhard 1887
    Delahaye 1894
    Delage 1905
    Bugatti 1909
    Matra 1937
    & my favourite
    Facel Vega 1954

  23. What the fuck is masculine and feminine about? A table’s a fucking table, it’s not male or female. I highly recommend you watch Denis Leary’s rant about the French on No Cure For Cancer. Fucking funny. By the way, we should have bypassed France and landed in Holland on June 6th 1944.

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