Cunt Crunch for Breakfast

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Apparently today’s generation are not spending enough time talking about one of the most basic of human functions, namely menstruation. Odd that – you would expect the old love juice and whiffy pussy to be up there in the top ten of conversation starters but evidently no longer so.

In the light of which some Swedish outfit has launched a new product, a breakfast cereal called no, not Pussy Pops or Cunt Crunch but Period Crunch. This genius offering consists of cereal moulded in the form of the female reproductive organs and coloured with extract of raspberry juice and served with milk. It then dyes the milk a distinctive red. Very tasty.

Gynaecologist Dr Shree Datta:

“I look forward to Period Crunch kickstarting conversations”

Unfortunately early studies show that conversations about periods tend to dry up and lead to irrational and manic behaviour. I would recommend the old school approach of wanging me old cunt sniffer up there and breathing deeply and savouring the aroma.

For the younger and more callow cunter about to start upon the path of sexual enlightenment may I suggest the services of a working girl who will charge £30-£50 for the honour.

Further enlightenment here: Daily Mail News Link

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

(Enjoy your breakfast, cunters! – Day Admin)

38 thoughts on “Cunt Crunch for Breakfast”

  3. Sounds scrumdiddliumtious.
    😝
    How about colostomy boil in the bag meals?

    Kraft knob cheese triangles?

    Public lice Krispies?

    No. Because your not a mental.
    Only a fuckin mental would want to eat it.

    • As for knob cheese, I have just chucked out a tub of cottage cheese. I thought I’d give it ago on health grounds, but NEVER again. Smells of emulsion paint, and oddly looks something that might be found in a “cottage”… Gay Daleks experminating over Portillo’s socks springs to mind.

  4. What about the poofters?. This is sexist. What about Lord Adonis and Mandy – can’t they be tempted with a delicious breakfast cereal ? – Dick Nibbles, perhaps, or Smegma Flakes?.

    • Foreskins pickled in brine.
      Piss flap calamari.
      Foreskin scratchings deep fried in fanny fat.
      Fuck me, I sicken myself sometimes.
      Apologies chaps.

  5. Me “get your knickers off then”
    Mrs “ No I’m up on blocks”
    End of conversation.

    • Morning Smugcunt…couldn’t you continue the conversation with the observation that your good lady’s monthly mentals doesn’t preclude her from giving you a nosh?

  6. But also, what about meaningful conversations about bowel habits?
    What kind of breakfast commestible would be suitable for that?
    Don’t talk enough about periods, ffs, give me fucking strength!

    • Choco porridge JP.
      I’m already submitting it to Kellogg’s.
      Can make it sloppy or firm
      Calling it SHITE.

      Sustainable
      Healthy
      Iron fortified
      Tasty
      Environmental friendly

      “Mmm mummy a big bowel of SHITE please!!”

      I’m marketing breakfast bowls like mini toilets
      And for those school packed lunches it comes in a disposable nappy.

      Each portion has a 2ply sheet of loo roll to wipe your mouth!!

      “Talking breakfast? Your talking SHITE!!”

  7. I prefer GingerPops(anag) myself. Each individual crunchy cereal blackfaced to perfection.

  8. It’s Kellogs Crunchy Turd Flakes for me. Period Crunch sounds disgusting.
    Or the Aldi equivalent Clinker Pops.

  10. Conversations at the breakfast table, yes that really happens in most households.

    ‘Hurry up or I’m going to be fucking late’
    ‘Eat your cereal and get a move on’
    ‘Let’s have nice little chat about periods’ 😂😂😂

    (Cheesy cock dip yogurts for starters, skidmarked undies on toast; and yeast & crusty menstrual blobs for dessert. Yum! – Day Admin)

  12. From ABBA and VOLVO to Vulva Pops, those crazy Swedes. What kind of bubble does this idea even get floated.

    Someone needs an introduction to a good beating

    • Well it is Sweden SV.

      After all,better Vagina Flakes than stabby rapey explody Somali drug gangs.

      The silly open border cunts.

      They should take a leaf out of the modern British book of Britannia Rules The Waves…

      And do away with borders all together.

  13. Why the need to talk about it, bleed,survive,repeat monthly,like a prescription.
    More wimminz tomfoolery.
    Hadaway and shite.

  15. This clearly discriminates against those who are menopausal. For them it can be hot flash oatmeal with raisins.
    What the fuck am I talking about?!
    How disgusting and weird all this is.
    Glad I don’t eat cereal and milk.
    What next? Aborted fetus pops?

  16. I find this kind of thing disgusting and I preferred it when people kept their ablusions to themselves.

    I know it’s “funky trendy” to talk about women having dicks and rainbow this and that but please people, have some decency.

    Fucking animals.

  17. How about ‘Period’ branded tomato juice? Containing a few pubic hairs to make it really authentic.

  18. Yummy, I’ll wipe my mouth with a always pad after I’ve finished.

  19. Outrageous discrimination – what about Men with cervixes – where’s their cereal?
    Is today International Mental Bastard Day?
    Although it seems to be every day lately.
    My predominant concern at breakfast is earning enough to afford the next one.

    • Terrible misandry too, nobody ever talked to me about having a wank over breakfast. The wife still gets annoyed when I bring the subject up now. Spunkflakes, the breakfast of champions..

  21. Why on God’s green earth would anyone need to have a meaningful conversation about a normal bodily function.
    I’ve two daughters, and a grand daughter, and I can assure you that the only meaningful conversation I’ve ever had was as follows:
    Daughter: I need money.
    Me: what for?
    Daughter: tampons.
    Me: is £20 enough?

    • Cheaper if you’re Joseph Fritzel. No cost involved other than eating the Cuntabix to get some energy.

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