Just when you thought the mad world couldn’t get any madder, some woke cunt comes along and decides to rewrite traditional nursery rhymes apparently so they could be kinder to animals. All courtesy of animal rights group PETA.
To quote PETA “And in the same way old songs and fairy tales have been given much-needed makeovers to replace racist, sexist, and otherwise insensitive language, we should make sure nursery rhymes are relevant for kids today and don’t encourage speciesism, cruelty to animals, or fear of them.”
Let’s examine that
Baa Baa black sheep wants to keep all his wool. ‘Baa Baa black sheep have you any wool. No sir no sir that’s not cool’. Point one : wool doesn’t even rhyme with cool.
Point two: if you don’t sheer the shhep, the poor cunt is fucked by the weight of it.
And little Miss Muffett’s spider isn’t an animal. It’s an arachnid so fucking get it right you uneducated arseholes.
And this little piggy is Vegan, ignoring that pigs are vegetarians in any case.
Pink Floyd summed it up beautifully when they wrote “leave our kids alone”
Nominated by: Pedantic Cunt
Sorry to be pedantic but an arachnid is an animal and pigs are omnivores.
No surprise that nursery rhymes are being bowdlerised. Expect trannies to appear in them soon. As role models.
They’re way ahead of you.
Check this shit out.
Christ on a crutch!
Shoot me, now.
The only issue is how quickly they are locked up in a nut house.
Use Victor Lewis-Smith’s Gay Daleks.
Spike Milligan’s Paqui Daleks to explain racism
Somewhere on the net, there’s a pic of Tone B Liar, holding up a card that reads “I bummed a penguin once, but think I got away with it.”
I guess it’s the way they waddle, the feathered fu kers. Cartoon penguins always look drippy and, well, camp.
Hickory dickery dock,
I was born without a cock.
But I’m so fucking woke
I think I’m a bloke
Now I look like a freak in a frock!
See a trannie
Run a mile
Kill a wokie
Have a smile
See a poof
He wants your bum
Run straight home
And tell your Mum
If your Mum is now a man
Kill yourself as quick as you can
“Baa, baa black sheep, have you any wool?
No sir, no sir, that’s not cool”
Is this some kind of coded message?
Not all PoC are drug dealers, because it’s not “cool”?
I think that’s a bit wayycist!
Little Tommy Tucker
Sings for his supper
What shall we feed him?
Inclusive bread and butter
Surely that should have been “their supper” not his, and “feed they”, not him.
Also the Blind Mice rhyme, are they implying that blind people are usually cantankerous twats?
That’s really hurty.
Haven’t thought this through, have they?
I must recompose my changing of the rhyme 🤔
Black bread and butter they in and they out 😂
Hickory dickory dock
The tranny was sucking a cock
It’s hair got tangled
The cunt got strangled
And swallowed the damn lot
Woke cunts should all be sent to live in Africa, Chicago or Lahore to be amongst their pets.
Fur or feather..it matters not a jot
I’ve shot the fucking lot.
Three visually impaired mice, three visually impaired mice,
See how they run, see how they run,
They all ran after the Afro-Caribbean vet,
They told her “thank you” for for saving their sight,
Did you ever see someone acting so nice,
As three visually impaired mice.
Do kids learn nursery rhymes these days anyway? I thought they were far too busy learning about arsefucking, trannyism and all that non binary cack.
Do Peacefuls have nursery ryhmes?
We’re truly in the grip of some kind of mental illness in the western world, with this cuntish nonsense, and I’ve not even mentioned “o’l bug eyes” trying to pedal “lab meat”!
“What is the secret of Soylent Green”!!!
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty sat next to Paul
Paul, the king’s horses
And all the king’s men
Gave Humpty a bumming
Again and again
Three dark keys
Three dark keys
See how they loot
See how they loot
They chased after a yank
Who was out with his wife
He pulled out his gun
As they pulled out a knife
Kyle Rittenhouse laughed as he
Snuffed our their life
There was an old Peaceful
Who lived in a shoe
She had so many children
She didn’t know what to do
After meeting her imam
For benefits advice
She now lives in a mansion
Oh isn’t that nice!
Mary had a little lamb
It’s fleece was white as snow
Everywhere that Mary went
The cunt was sure to go
She went to sunny Leicester
To see a girly pal
Poor Lamby’s now a curry
Quite spicy and halal
Our next Poet Laureate!
Mary had a little lamb.
Took it to a wedding
Tied it to a garden gate
And kicked it’s fucking head in.
A country cream gate btw
Brilliant that CG.
Extra point for mentioning Leicester, where I have the misfortune to live
That’s me,you,moggie and dark key cunt all In Leicester then.
In a far distant past while I was serving in the RN anybody who lived within travelling distance from the ship in dock could live at home and were subsequently RA =rationed ashore.
They would still try to eat onboard despite getting extra pay for food at home. So we would always recite… Little miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider sat down beside her
She said fuck off you’re RA.
Hey diddle diddle
My teachers fiddling with me.
It’s political, it is so it is
Kat and Jill went up the hill
To find their friend’s gay daughter
To fist her brown
Take her on the town
And use the strap on they bought her
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get poor Rover a bone
When she bent over
In jumped old Rover
And gave her a bone of his own.
Ah yes Andrew Dice Clay naughty nursery rhyms!
Little Boy blew…
He needed the money!
Abdul had a little gun
The gun was black as soot
Abdul forgot the safety catch
And shot himself in the foot
Never forget your instructions
Which come from up on high
Point it at the Infidel man
And shoot him in the eye
There’s a Tranny Barbie doll just been released.
Wonder if it still has it’s meat & two veg. 🤔
Will it come with it’s own accessories too?
I would imagine they’ll be releasing a Tranny Barbie sex slave pit with victims’ for added realism, seeing as all trannies are serial killers? ‘Silence of the Lambs’ was on the money.
Or a noose and bag of valium for the inevitable suicide attempts, when Barbie finally realises she’s just a mutilated bloke in a frock, with a fake minge that stinks of shite?
Adams Apple 👍
Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread
Mary had a little pig
She couldn’t stop it gruntin.
She took it down the garden path,
And kicked it’s fuckin cunt in.
Mary had a little cock,
He found it rather scary,
He used our NICS to lop it off,
Now she a fuckin fairy.
The Grand Old Duke of York
Kiddies he liked to pork
Sick of being called a skiver
He’s become a Muslim taxi-driver.
The Grand Old Duke of Pork
He gave 10 million quid
To someone he’d never met
For something he never did.
There was an old man of Dundee
Who molested an ape in a tree
The result was most horrid
All arse and no forehead
Three balls and a purple goatee
“On meeting Alex Salmond”, by Rabbit Burns, May 2022.
Mohammad, Mohammad have you many wives
Yes sir, yes sir one of them is nine
Got her in my taxi at the age of six
Took her to my lock up somewhere in the sticks.
It was “Ip, dip, dogs shit, & one potatoe, two potatoe etc, etc. All primary school playground stuff. But my favorite by a long way was that one with catch a nig’er by his toe in it! & even more so now. Not sure how the modified version sounds today though.
I grew up with Enid Blyton, & Beatrix Potter. Never did me any harm! & I won’t hear a bad word said about either of them!
Julian, Dick and Anne, George and Timmy the dog.
Now updated by the diversity and inclusion mob:
julie with a Dick, Anne, currently transitioning and George who identifies as a Dog.
Hear fucking Hear!
I haven’t laughed so much since the pigs ate my little sister.
Baa baa black cunt
Have you got the pox?
Yes I’m on the down low riding all the homeboy’s cocks.
There having an orgy at Buckingham Palace
Cristopher Robin went down on Alice
Alice is gobbling one of the guards
To get his organ good and hard
For me, if you look at everyone who has attempted to rewrite history they have always turned out to be a rather self obsessed tool; the burning of the books, just by example – didn’t end too well.
These wokafarians will all end up with spaff on their faces. Most likely delivered by a 6′ 3″ woman named EggNog Dan who has just won the Olympic 100m swimming gold medal on a bicycle made for two……. meat and veg.
The Grand old scouse cunt Klopp
He had 10’000 fans
Who travelled up to PSG
No tickets in their hand
And when they tried to break in
The tear gas came racing down
Those froggy cops don’t take no shit
You fucking scouser clowns
Your dreams are in the skip
The scousers on their knee
No silverware for bin-dip cunt
Cause they got no penalties
The grand old Duke of York
He had 10,000 Men
He also had some underage girls
But can’t remember them
A local bookshop here is always jumping on whatever trendy bandwagon is passing by.
Currently one side of its display window is given over to gay and lesbian books, the other is full of books for small kids, all about race, gender, identity and pronouns.
In July it’ll be more gay books for ‘pride month’, then in October it’ll be books for black history month, but nothing about the African involvement in the slave trade (then and now), genocides under Idi Amin, Bokassa, Rwanda, Sudan etc…