Idiotic Baby Names

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Parents Giving their Children Stupid Names

Elon Musk and his tart, Grimes, recently named their second child Exa Dark Sideræl, or “Y” for short (don’t ask because I don’t know!)

This follows on from another child of theirs called X AE A-XII, or “X” for short.

Musk also has 5 other children, Griffin, Xavier, Kai, Saxon and Damian, most of which are at least remotely familiar.

Of course this stupid name calling isn’t a new thing. I’m sure most of us remember Bob Geldof naming his kids, Trixibelle, Peaches and Pixie with the late Paula Yates.

And there are plenty of other examples of celebs giving their kids stupid names purely for the attention, and with little thought for the poor kid stuck with a stupid name for the rest of its life.

But its not just celebs is it. Ordinary people are just as stupid. For example what are the odds that if your surname is King you’re going to name your child “Andrew” so as to make A King. Very original!
Or Hunt, and Mike.
Or File and Peter
Or Kerr and Ewan

I really don’t know what these parents were thinking at the time, but labeling your kid with a stupid fucking name is just asking for a lifetime of ridicule and bullying.

There is an exception of course, and that’s Lewis Hamilton – or Cunt for short!

Nominated by Technocunt

55 thoughts on “Idiotic Baby Names”

  1. A kid with a stupid name can at least change it when it’s old enough. But if it’s born a cunt, that will stay with it forever.

  2. Parents can be fucking stupid so it is down to the registry office to decide if a name is acceptable or not.

    Currently, I don’t think that option is legal in the UK and people can call their unfortunate kids whatever they want.

    In Spain you are not allowed to register a child with a name that may later offend its dignity or cause confusion.

    There was a recent court case which even the Prime Minister got involved in where some parents wanted to name their child Lobo ‘Wolf’.

  4. There was an example of this over here a few years back. A dimwitted couple wanted to name their daughter “Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii”.
    Child welfare took the child off them until they could think of a more reasonable moniker.

    Last anyone heard was they had chosen something more suitable.

    There are also other cases where parents have been refused naming their offspring “Adolf” or “Hitler”.

  5. I believe it’s illegal to name your child Elizabeth Windsor.

    My parents gave me a good first name from the Old Testsment ( I think biblical names are the best – good and solid, with the exception of Zipporah). But for my middle name they gave me Eden! Yes it’s biblical but it sounds like a hairdressers name. At least it’s not my first name.

  6. When the English very sensibly cleared the highlands of rabble we insisted that the highlanders changed their names.They could choose an English town or a colour which is where we get all the Browns, Greens and Whites from. Clever chaps those Georgians.

    • The Scottish can be sensible which is why they named their capitol after the English king Edwin.

    • Don’t tell the Head Fish of Scotland, shell demand an apology for that!

  7. I do believe there is a young lady named Le-A in the US of A; it’s pronounced Le dash A as in hay.
    Also during the 70’s, there were the Bank brothers in Wembley, Barclay and Lloyd…

  9. My son’s friends Dad is a Mike Hunt. He jokes about it and accepts the fact his parents weren’t thinking.
    There’s a Wayne Kerr Electronics which makes me think poor sod must have been named that.
    Best I’ve seen though is on a football fans forum where a son’s friend had been called Isaac Adcock. Poor cunt.

  11. In decades of teaching, I have seen some twattish names and some illiterate spellings. Mr DKC of the Physics Department will no doubt concur.

    But I think the winner has to be Charlotte – but spelt with an ‘S.’

    Freedom for East Anglia.

    • I worked with one bird once called Karen.

      Nothing special, until you realise it was pronounced ‘Care-un’.

      The amount of times some cunt would take names at some course or meeting and she would say “It’s Karen (Care-un) actually.”

      Fuck off and spell it like that then, you cunt.

      Like saying ‘Is David here?’

      “Yes, I’m here and it’s pronounced ‘Steven’ actually.’

      Fuck off.

      • Their was a woman I worked with who was called Doreen,
        But she insisted it was pronounced D’reen.
        Hehehe 😀
        Id always say Doreen

  12. The same pig ignorant, thick as fuck, inbred, brain dead, moon gazing cunts, take said daft named feral offspring, out to strip daffodils and tulips, from roadside verges. ‘ For Mothers Day ‘.
    Chin biting rētards.
    Get To Fuck.

  13. Not that long ago I came across a Mr Cope, first name Connor which I thought hilarious.
    A poor young girl I met many years ago with the surname King was called Joy. Felt for her because thats just plain stupid on her parents part.
    And at school I remember poor Duncan Ness whose father was named Alan. It was suggested his mum was called Patricia but that wasn’t so and just wishful thinking of the bully brigade.

    • I don’t think the state should be able to intervene no matter how twattish the name.
      Nothing to do with them.

      I went to school with a kid called Merlin in the 70s.

      And I had a customer whos kid was called Apollo😀

      Fuck all to do with the state.
      Keep their Big Brother fuckin nose out.
      If a parent wants their offspring to have a twattish name thats upto them.

  14. Had this problem when naming Odin Jnr.

    His mother is Icelandic and there are only around 1500 accepted names in Iceland.

    After much debate, he ended up with a sensible name.

    If his mother had her way, he would have been named Orri (a type of boat) or Nokve (another type of boat).

    The Danes have around 15,000 acceptable names, but some spanner still tried to slip ‘Darth Vader’ through the net.

    They were politely request to try again with something that wouldn’t embarrass the kid in future life.

    • @Odin.
      Surely, Balder was the obvious choice ?
      Then again, perhaps not. 😀
      Morning, Odin.

      • Morning Jack.

        Victoryknight bloodaxe was my first choice in Icelandic.

        Although Loki would fit his personality perfectly now. 😁

  15. There is a famous Singaporean biologist called Dr. Shit Fun Chew.

    There is also an Indian tycoon named Anurag Dikshit and a South African politician named Tokyo Sexwale.

    Poor barstards.

  17. Nothing can be worse than having a name like Mohamed, imagine being named after a schizophrenic slave trading illiterate kiddy fiddling honour killing stoning amputating war lord, oh and a cunt too, that is child cruelty being named Mohamed

    • Rumour has it that if a primary school teacher in Bradford shouts out “Mohammed” every single boy in the playground comes running over towards them.

      • Nowadays, many Mohammeds are tweely called Mo. We have a few such cunts in our Brit celebrity list. I knew one and irritated him by referring to him as “Half a Mo”.

  18. I’ve mentioned before about the proud father who introduced his toddler daughter to me as “Tinkerbelle”…I was hard pressed not to suggest ” Heffalump” would have been nearer the mark for the butterball- fat little benefit-sponge.

    • My sister has a daughter called Denise, and a son called Denephew.
      I’ll get my coat…

  20. Among the American wokies the latest trend is to refer to your expected new baby as a “Theybe” ( cos it’s born gender neutral and gender is a social construct geddit?) You can buy cards declaring………Congratulations on Your New Theybe. I hate to think what names these fucktards might give the poor little cunts.
    I expect this shit to arrive over here soon, if it hasn’t already.

  21. What’s wrong with normal names nowadays, like my lad, ‘Adolf Trousers Gobshite Twenty Bensons You Cunt’?

    • I always liked the name Tarzan.

      Suppose its a bit late to change my name now?

  22. I told my dad that if we had a daughter we’d name her Placenta. He replied it was a beautiful name. 😂

  23. It’s the made up names that make me laugh.
    One family called their new daughter Rickella, which always reminds me of the Slobs offspring, wonderful stuff.
    Then there’s the single mother who called her sprog Princess, yes really!
    I’d hopes that she might kick her mother to death when she’s older, but as she’s an obese, upright porcine looking munter already at aged 10, I doubt it. Oh, and she is white.

  26. Surprised nobody mentioned Frank Zappa,’s kids.
    Moon Unit.
    Dweezil.
    Ahmet Emuukha Rodan.
    Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen.

  28. I once went to look at a second hand Fourtrack, advertised on Auto Trader. (Early 1990’s).

    The chap was selling it on behalf of his daughter. I asked about service history-he said his daughter had the file at home, so he called telephoned her.
    I overheard him :

    “Hi Galadriel, it Dad!”

    I do not but a car from fucking woodland elves😂

  29. I have known people with the following names:

    Jenny Taylor-she was a despicable cunt!

    Mike Hunt-a smashing lad. RIP.

    A twat with the surname King-we all called him “Juan”😉

    Two sisters called Constance & Patience. No, I didn’t…

    I knew a woman called Peta.
    I was 20 and she in her late 30’s.
    She was a “screamer”👍

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