Free Range Egg Shortage

Free range eggs unavailable from Monday!

Oh the shock. Oh the horror. What are Joycelyn and Jocasta supposed to have for breakfast?

From what I can gather, there’s been an isolated case of evian flu ( correct me if I’m wrong) (OK then, it’s “avian” – NA) and all farmers, egg producers, have had to isolate their free range birds. So from tomorrow, they can no longer sell them as free range.

Over reacting much, munch?

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

71 thoughts on “Free Range Egg Shortage

  1. Is this just another excuse to ramp up prices by relabelling free range eggs to barn eggs just because the little clucks have to be housed indoors?
    All we want is another mad cow disease (and no, I’m not on about Labour’s front bench this time), and we’ll have beef prices going through the roof.
    Throw in some milk shortages, wheat shortages, and perhaps pig flu, sheep flu, any old animal flu, and all of a sudden the Vegans will have completed their master plan of getting everyone off meat and dairy.

  2. Reminds me of that Catherine Tate sketch where Posh Mummy is at the school sports day and watching the egg and spoon race. She notices an empty egg box and shouts…” children!…..they’re not free range!”
    They all start screaming and running towards a long line of Chelsea Tractors.
    Of course these days the Tractors would all have flat tyres, following a visit from the eco-warrior pricks. It’s fucking hard being posh in today’s world.
    Not fair!

  3. If these types are that bothered get a few chickens for the garden and keep them in the shed you silly cunts, you’ve took cheap food for granted and slagged off every aspect of food production, now you can live like a 13th century peasant thanks to our masters, isn’t wonderful, probably be living in fucking tents and singing “combaya”, it’s fucking laughable!!!

  4. There have been 100s of 1000s of birds culled in my area. Not ‘isolated incidents’. Free range birds are now locked up, where the farms have not had signs of flu.
    Buying free-range is not a poncy Waitrose affectation but a regard for welfare of the birds.

    • If you look at Big & Fresh eggs it states they are from caged hens on the box. I was under the impression we banned caged eggs a while back 2012 I believe. Maybe our local farmer Dick will know. I remember it being on the news. But it seems that goes out the window for some companies.

      Fuck eating caged eggs they are tasteless, I’ll just go down the local small holding and get some duck eggs, they are amazing.

  5. I,of courtse, only eat Plovers Eggs with a light dusting of celery salt.

    I once got a “Sausage and Egg McMuffin” when we were working away….the sausage was bad enough but the “egg” was unidentifiable as anything laid by a bird…like a fucking ice-hockey puck.

    • Nah, I like those. Cos they’re dirty. And I’m originally from West Bromwich. I escaped.

  6. Yet another example of a manufactured shortage that will end with the suppliers raising prices with no intention of lowering them again. At least they haven’t blamed Brexit, Putin or covid for it. Yet.

    • Cadbury’s Creme Eggs likely to be recalled over arse-injected death syndrome scare…

  7. Eggs from a barn?

    Like something from a Hollywood film?
    Sunny lots of straw and a rosy cheeked farmer turning the hay with a pitchfork?
    Bollocks, chickens live in big industrial sheds with artificial light.

    Food production is an industry which without we’d all starve.

  8. Even worse there’s going to be a serious shortage of pheasant and partridge this year. Some shoots given up on coming season already. We are planning on throwing chickens up in the air and shooting them. Only if it’s safe to do so from a bird flu perspective of course. Wonder what wet market this strain originated in.

    • Themagiccunt:

      Do not despair: find out where the local belle-ends fly their drones, and shoot the fuckers (the drones), instead 👍

      Also remote controlled aircraft society’s 👍

  9. Fuck free range eggs, a bunch of Hollycunt bell end actors seem to have laid a few eggs for not inviting this bint to the nosh fest that is the Oscars:

    Rachel Zegler: West Side Story actress gets Oscars invitation after outcry – reads the Ali Beebie headline.

    War in Ukraine, rising inflation, people genuinely wondering if they can feed their families (unless your a immigrant where the red carpet is rolled out).

    But NO, stop the press, this poor little me snowflake had no one to take her to the ball, poor Cinders. Now she’s all smiles and happy as a pig in shit after a U-turn from the backlash.

    Crap like this just proves how flaky and selfish these cunts really are, totally disconnected from the real world.

  10. Horrible nasty cunts chickens are. My mate has loads of them, when one is injured the others will peck it to death if left to their own devices. They especially go for blood. Nice eggs though.

    • I have witnessed a Rhodes island red, swallow a foolish field mouse, who made the fatal mistake of dashing out for some chicken feed.
      They are aggressive, in establishing the “pecking order”.

  11. Cunts are now locking down poultry now.
    At least being avian they have an excuse to flap their fucking arms in panic.
    More arse from the cunt spinners.

  12. Are we going to see “panic buying” of this product over the weekend? That should make for some fun at the checkouts. I’m off to test the latest barn finds with Egweena Curry. You just can’t be too careful can you?

      • There’s this thing.
        It’s called autocorrect.
        Although I’ve never input evian, ever in my life, autocunt decided I wasn’t clever enough to mean avian so substituted evian.
        Unless your quite cunning, your post is there, in all its glory, typos, autocunt and the rest.

    • There shouldn’t be a panic. To be honest, free range eggs are not all they’re cracked up to be.

    • Prolly, Mi’Lord.
      I bought 6 before the ban, sorry, differently labelled exercise.
      Im selling on Ebay, currently at £39.95.

  13. I must apologise to cunters and particularly to Jeezum for turning this thread into a running yolk.

  14. Poor chickens, I buy free range not because I am posh but becuase I hope the birds are being better cared for.

    I’ve pretty much given up meat, chicken and especially processed rubbish or fast food like McCunts.

    I do enjoy fish though, poor fish 🙁

  15. This reminds me of the hysteria over salmonella in 1988, thanks to Edwina Currie’s ill-founded proclamations to the public. It took thirty years for egg sales to return to what they were. The British government have to be one of the most knee-jerk clowns when it comes to public health. Mad Cow Disease was a massive over-reaction, farmers went to the wall over that hysteria. Covid paranoia remains in the background. Us Brits aren’t the healthiest bunch, we’ve absorbed too much of the American slob lifestyle and diet, which is one of the worst in the world when it should be one of the healthiest. You rarely saw a clinically-obese (fat-fuck) in Britain thirty years ago, but now it’s becoming common in all age groups. Ban the shitty food, government, ban cigarettes and let us buy weed and shrooms in Asda!

    • Covid is beginning to rear it’s ugly head again.Panicky doom mongers are frothing at the mouth saying we need “restrictions” soon.Bollocks bollocks bollocks

  16. I was really worried about the little darlings and the future of England until I read that they can still get quinoa.

    Thank God!

    Actually, I do try to eat as much organic food as possible even though there is no proven “follow the science” health benefit. Why? Because it tastes better.

  17. Thank you, Admin, for the header pic, I’ll be having nightmares for weeks!
    I’m glad most of you got the “tongue in cheek” nature of the nom.
    I’d like to say I’m a big supporter of free range everything, hens, pigs, the job lot. Anything less is sheer cruelty, and I cannot thole with it.

    Ha! I couldn’t resist the pic of this cheeky chick – NA.

  18. I am all for animal welfare.

    Cows, pigs, sheep even goats.
    They should be treated well before we kill them and eat them.

    But chickens are feathery fuckers so I don’t give a toss about them.
    Stick them in a big, overcrowded barn so that they can do their job in laying eggs.

    Who cares that for some people they may not taste as good.
    It’s not like everyone is a master chef.
    Most eggs probably get fried in the same frying pan as the sausages and bacon anyway. So the slightly better taste will be watered down.

    If producers want to continue the trend of free range for the people who want to play along with it then so be it.

    I want cheaper eggs and chicken and I don’t give a fuck how that is achieved.

  19. If any contributors are interested Tesco sell them, free range eggs that is.

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