Comic Relief (6)

Be fair… it’s shit isn’t it?

Every year the chuggers wheel out a load a load of puerile, cheap telly courtesy of the BBC. It ain’t funny, it’s just a load of people arsing about to part us from our hard earned cash. Nationalised chugging persuading us to give money to spongers, third world dictators and people in famine and war zones breeding children when they should know better. How do they manage it? Anorexics don’t have children – their bits shut down. So how the fuck do they manage it in these third world shit holes?

As if we don’t pay enough in taxes in contributions to the overseas aid budget the biggest bunch of left-on virtue seeking wankers appears on our screens and airways, telling us to part with even more of our dosh.

Dick heads drive their cars around with stupid plastic appendages attached to the grill and others dress in fancy dress crap or bake cakes for ‘good causes’.

And do you know what really pisses me off about Red Nose Day? The fact that my grandchildren will be forced to join in at school today by a load of leftie teachers. Nobody should be forced to join in this shit or indoctrinated with propaganda in the schoolroom. Nobody. It’s not right.

Last year I made Mrs D a promise. I’ll donate £10 for, every time they make me laugh. Seemed fair and reasonable.

This year I’ll give them the same as I gave them last year. Sweet fuck all because, let’s me be honest, woke killed comedy and these cunts frankly just ain’t funny…

Nominated by Dioclese

81 thoughts on “Comic Relief (6)

  1. Red Nose Day, another excuse for cunts who are cunts 364 days a year can have a day being even bigger cunts.

    It pisses me off how thick people are donating to this bollocks, it’s their choice of course but you can be sure many don’t know that they are already paying through tax to support third world shit holes.

    We need to do more 😂

    As I have no intention of donating a penny I won’t be watching any of this shit show, couldn’t give a fuck.

  2. If you’ve promised Mrs D you’ll donate £10 for every time they make you laugh, does that mean you’ll be watching it all night? I mean, it wouldn’t be fair on Mrs D if you didn’t, would it?

  3. I’d tune in and throw them a quid if a large predatory shark came along and devoured the Cumberbatch cunt in that picture up there.

    As for immigrants, burn them for fuel.

    • Or if a shoal of Candiru fish swam up Cumbersnatch’s minute japseye then that would give us all a hearty chuckle.

      The cunt.

    • Where’s Prince George’s crocodile also called George when you need him?

  4. This shit fest has been going on for decades.

    Billions of pounds must have been raised over that time.

    But the people that they have raised all of that money for are allegedly still walking for half a day to drink pissy water out of filthy puddles.

    Time to knock the fundraising on the head?

  5. Comic relief is to laughter what Dianne Abbott is to glamour.

    I dont watch it.
    I dont donate to it.
    I dont approve of it.

    Begging wearing a nose like Alex Ferguson

    I only give money to far right organisations and research into midgetism.

  6. Same shit, different year. Honours List for the celeb cunts.
    I will be donating the same as they do – Fuck all.

  7. Didn’t Lenworth Henry gripe about the “white saviours” giving their cash to help “da poor blek mun”?

    If so, then the whole lot can fuck right off into a tramp’s hat.

    Lenworth can stick his red nose right up his Bournville Boulevard, the cunt.

    • The same white saviours that have kept him rich and his pet sow filled up with pies for 40 years.

    • It wouldn’t really make much difference. He has always been a brown, brown nosed cunt!

  8. Remember that sanctimonious cunt Geldof shouting at us and demanding that we feed the jungle bunnies? Well that was in 1984 and they are still fucked despite having billions sent to their shit house land. Why? Because Stone Age savages can’t handle anything more complicated than mud, reproducing like rats whilst there are no resources and mutilating kids bits. The money was never or ever will get past the umbongos in charge.

    They’ll still be starving in a hundred years.

    Not getting any of my hard earned cash. Fuck em, let them starve. They despise us anyway. Why don’t their breadwins in the west with cash help, the likes of Beyoncé etc?

    Not my problem.


  9. Thanks for sharing, Dio. I had hoped to make it through the day without this monumental cuntfest forcing its way into my consciousness.

    Even the wife won’t touch it. Her viewing habits can sink pretty low, but never to these depths.

  10. I loathe this annual fuckwittery. Just a chance for narcissistic cunts to virtue signal and prove they are holier than though. Interspersed with films of some washed up celeb hugging an Africunt child in the hope it leads to more job contracts. Just fuck off.

  11. I’m excersising my white privilege and donating to UK based dog and cat charities, and small volunteer run ones, at that.
    M’tebe can carry on lugging filthy water, for all I care.

    • Evening Jack👍

      Any cunt asking me for money for the “Dark continent”, I will gladly donate a “Red Nose”😉

      • Evening, General. This annual cunt fest seems to come round more quickly as the years advance.
        A dazzling array of cunts.
        I shun it totally.

  12. David Lammy had a whinge about “the world doesn’t need more white saviours” a few years ago. Fine then, Africa won’t need the billions that we piss up the wall on them through the foreign aid budget either, will they. I think he was just annoyed that they scrapped the televised KFC bucket challenge with Flabbott and Butler.

  13. I don’t donate to charity these days except donkeys.
    Something about their lot in life touches me.
    Red nose and all those who sail in it can fuck off.

    • Your going to heaven Infidel.
      Although I hate all people and all things,
      I like donkeys.

      Morrissey of the horse world.

      They like ginger nut biscuits as treats.

    • Only charity we have given to in 30 years together is the donkeys, then you read their CEO is on £150k fuck off Timothy you are on your own.

    • Infidel:
      Thank you for your kind assistance👍

      Us gentlemen that have been cursed with a generative member like a boa-constrictor appreciate your concern🧐

    • Being dubbed into Weegie for mouthwash ads is real cruelty to animals.
      We should have a Black Eye Day – once every month, when it’s legal to punch a charidee monkey in the face.

  14. Cant remember the last time I gave to charity?
    Apart from poppies that is.

    To be fair I should be the recipient of charity rather than a donor.

    A endangered species oppressed by my government and society.

    My culture and traditions disrespected.☹️

    Im like those bloody aborigines in Australia,
    A stranger in a strange land.

    Accept better looking.
    And not lazy.

  15. About as funny as being buried up to your head smeared in jam next to a wasps nest…Also didn’t Lammy say no to white y s dollar??
    Think he did …loads of cunts on show shouting and being annoying to anyone daft enough to watch Cunts.

  16. I’m such a Cunt that I managed to palm a tenner while pretending to put something in the bucket that the fundraising lassies were passing around the bar.

    Not my finest moment,I must admit.

    • When this shite started I remember a few chancers dressing up with a red bucket going round the local pubs and pocketing the proceeds.

      • Trouble was that I knew them…nice lassies…if they’d been strangers,I’d have told them to Fuck Off.

    • Just taking what your owed Dick.
      It’d only get wasted by the charity case.

      I know for a fact that Mencap spend donations on propeller hats.
      And money meant for famine relief goes on MC hammer pants.

      I regularly climb into wishing wells and fountains for spare change.

      • …I sometimes can’t sleep for thinking what that tenner would have bought for some starvin’ marvin babeee….it’s hard to nod off when you’re giggling away to yourself.

      • Very cuntish of you Fiddler, bravo!

        For your next trick are you clamping the wheels of the local Make-A-Wish Foundation mini bus?

      • Saw your “Head of Diversity and Inclusion” post in the previous thread,LL….fucking good ‘un.

        A mixed,gay “Uni” student ?… 🙂 .

      • You only need one of each, Lord Fidler.
        If you can find a multiracial, transgender male who not only identifies as female but also a lezbean, and ( ahem) vertically challenged, I reckon you’ve covered the lot.
        You can give them one grant and trouser the other 4.
        You probably won’t be alone, there.

      • Sunday dinner with elder. Gammon and chicken.
        Preceded by a visit from Sis AM, I am hoping to get her into the garden, doing some pruning ( while I have a crafty smoke).
        Saturday am shopping, nap, getting monumentally schnockered.
        And you?

      • I hope that, in the future, pharm will devote their efforts into a vaccine against the atrocious wave of D & I that is sweeping the world.

  17. Not content with forcing people to pay for the trough feeding leeches working at the bbc the cunts also want a pat on the back for guilt tripping the public to cough up more hard earned to make the slebs look good.

    Spunk swallowing shit eaters

  18. If this Luvvy fest has raised loads of dosh, why are they still showing blackies drinking donkey piss puddles with bluebottles round their eyes and mangy faces..💩

    Fuck em all…..☠️

  19. I’d pay good money to see everyone last one of the gurning cunts involved in this luvvie shitfest mowed down by 50 cal machine guns.

    PS:save Africa – nuke the dump.

  20. As a qhit saviour, they can fuck off.
    £13.7 million is spent on wages running thus “charity”. Five member of staff on over £100,000 and one on £200,000. Doesn’t sound very charitable to me.
    They also lost £1million to fraud since the last appeal.
    I’d rather give my money to the local booze who is morning need that dark key kids in Africa. 🍺

  21. Fucking spell check shite. White, this and more in need. Fill in the gaps!

  22. It’s all for the benefit of the celeb cunts who ‘give up their time’. The likes of Ed Sheercunt, Kylie and Madogga are only too pleased to give up theirs when they’ve got a new album or tour to promote. And if it’s meant to be comedy related, why are people like Claudia Winklewank, David fucking Tennant and Cumbersnatch involved? And when will the bbc realise that Dawn French is simply not funny? The fat bird taking on the role of a fit bird act is as old as the hills and wasn’t funny when she did it back in the 80s. ‘Sir’ Lenny can go fuck himself cos he’s a hypocritical little race baiter and Richard Curtis can do the same as it’s all his doing in the first place. It’s the biggest cuntfest of the year alongside children in greed.

    • I am praying Sheercunt will be found guilty of plagiarism, and be hanged by his cock until his brain explodes.

  23. I remember the first ever Comic relief.
    I was visiting a mate in Penrith and we walked into town.
    There were cunts in fancy dress, everywhere.
    Mostly young wimminz.
    The highlight of the night for me, was getting noshed off by a blondie with big tits, who was dressed as a comedy nun, in an alleyway, somewhere near the bandstand.

    That’s what you call “comic-relief”👍

  24. Charity begins at home. The Africans have their independence. Apparently i’s not as good as they imagined it would be.

    They were pulling the same grift when the ‘Biafrans’ were about.

    Get fucked.

  25. I’m playing call of duty on the xbox with the grandkid. The one set in Africa.

    I’m having the best time ever! 😁

  26. Manufactured insincere bollocks ever since it started back in the 80s, along with the wankfest that was Band Aid.
    Separate the gullible and well meaning from their dosh and look like a saint, even though poor old Umbongo Gibsbidatt sees fuck all after the Mercs and AK47s have been paid for.
    That header picture of Cumbertwat is inspired by the way.
    It’s now my screensaver…

    • P.S.


      Or rather “no chiggun” after Adele has been up to the buffet…

  27. Throwing money at Africa is like pissing in the wind, or throwing money into a pit. They are too corrupt, or thick to actually do any better. My theory on this is, if there’s at least one homeless person here no money should be sent out of the UK

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