Dog owners/walkers who don’t pick up fido’s shit are cunts.
I feel quite lucky to live in a small village on the edge of the Lincolnshire Wolds. Population under 900. There are loads of public footpaths through field and woods and even along a small river.
At a guess I would say that a quarter of the population including myself are dog owners. Farmers working dogs, shooters hunting dogs, a very elderly lady 80+ with her collie which looks older than she does, other single pensioners mainly women with their toy sized mutts and me with my Jack cross. (mad as a basket of frogs he is chases any thing from ducks squirrels and leaves).
I reckon that 80% pick up fido’s shit religiously; quite right too. Sadly simple maths means that about 40 cunts don’t and that is a lot of shit being left and ignored. That is a cunt. what the fuck is wrong with these dirty lazy idle bastards?
I don’t know but what I do know is they are fucking cunts.
Link below is just a story about my moan not relative to my particular area but just in support of my thoughts on these cunts.
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/council-dog-owners-poo-mess-2627037
Nominated by: Everyonesacunt
Some people feel very strongly about this.
If say my dog shits in someones front garden and as we walk off they come out shouting and hollering for me to pick it up?
I say Ive a back injury.
Or just had a pedicure.
Offer them a bag and ask them to pick it up for me.
But some wont!!!
Call you all-sorts of names.
Especially in the cemetery,
Right moody bastards there.
But 9 times out of 10 its mine and not the dogs.
21
Mnc@ – Afternoon Mnc – most of the dog shit round here gets posted through the letterbox of the cave, luckily I get a few death threats as well, variety is the spice of life! 😀
1
I was going to suggest that the cunts should be made to eat it but most of them already do every time they have a chinky takeaway.
Get the dinghy raiders out of their hotels and make them pick it up with their bare hands. Cunts.
22
That’s actually a very good point.
With people living their entire lives on benefits the streets of the UK should be pristine.
Anyone out of work for over 6 months should have to serve the community in exchange for their benefits.
Sweeping up rubbish, cleaning graffiti, scraping off chewing gum and picking up shit.
I read a story about one council that had employed a few people to go around spraying dog shit Green to highlight the issue.
Why they didn’t simply pay them to pick up the stuff is beyond me.
17
Spraying it green? Surely spraying it gold and rolling it in glitter, would be the British way?
😉
11
Just a few weeks ago some old bag let her enormous dog (a red setter, I think)do an enormous turd right outside chez Boggs. I saw her fiddle with a plastic bag so I assumed she was about to clean it away, so I got on with what I was doing. I had to go out about an hour later and saw the plastic bag was just a ruse – there was the turd in all it’s glory by the fence. I told the spouse, but “Classic” (i.e. OLD) Coronation Street was about to start….
It was ever thus. Talking of turds in general, I am delighted to say that AnalEase has found soalce in music since she was sacked as Shadow Chancellor as she wasn’t very good (neither is her replacement). Here is some film of her, with her pet dof (who I am sure is cleaner than her), with youg Wes Screeching on the banjo and Sir Keir himself, in downtown mode, playing his skiffle bass on top of a bucket, for some reason. Enjoy the AnalEase Doods Trio:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXwJv5lkD7A
4
TAC@ – In theory that’s a good idea, unfortunately in practice it would lead to refuse collectors, street cleaners etc being made redundant and replaced by free labour.
1
Refuse collectors who will not move bins that they cannot pull with one finger, who only turn up once every 2 weeks at best.
Bin men that if they see something that shouldn’t be in a particular recycle bin will photograph it and not take any of your rubbish away.
And the last that I heard about road sweepers was that they were being paid 600 a week for doing a not very good job.
I can’t see the problem with sacking the fuckers and the benefits claimants that replace them are not free labour.
They would be doing a job for the benefits that they receive.
1
As the owner of a large waggy tailed shit machine, it really boils my piss when others can’t be bothered to pick up Foofykin’s leavings.
Round this way, it is always the toff bints, trophy wives and yummy mummies who pretend to be on the most important call ever, as their inbred, yappy designer handbag dog parks its breakfast in the middle of the pavement and then just walk away as Barker’s eggs lay steaming in the sunlight.
Right, I’m off to give the Tervuren five miles, which will involve picking up a freshly backed out five kilo steamer, a pile of Chunky hound fudge a bit later and then trying to clean liquid shit off of Robbie William’s wall.
(Again, sorry Robbie. It really isn’t personal)
14
Does your hound shit on Jimmy Page’s (Blobby Williams next door neighbor) wall too?
Or does his Thelemic practices, scare Fido “shitless”?
7
No, he seems to reserve it for Robbie William’s wall only. 😁
Jimmy is a nice bloke. Met him on several occasions and he likes the hound. Anyone who likes my dog is OK in my book.
5
Is your hound a “Black Dog”?
(Sorry-couldn’t resist🙂)
4
If my dog gave Robbie William’s wall a coating in molten dog shit.
I’d be saying “good boy” and give him a steak for dinner.
After all it’s only payback for the musical dog shit he’s been inflicting on the public for the last 3 decades.
15
Ha ha. Those smaller second and third eggs can be seriously runny. I still try to pick up whatever I can but a little runny one on tarmac takes some collecting.
4
I’m yet to catch one of these filthy cunts but if I do I suspect there shall be pistols at dawn.
Or whatever the less gallant modern equivalent is.
Lazy dirty thick cunts.
13
Two grown men slinging warm dog shit at each other at 20 paces?
15
Popular YouTuber “AUTIST and CAT” aka Jeroen Elswijk is infamous for the countless amount of scat videos he put of himself online including many with him smearing himself in dogshit.
So not all folk are bothered by it.😃
1
I wonder if Suckdick Khant(be blamed for anything) picks up after his dogs when he takes them to the park in his bullet proof, gas guzzling Range Rover?
I suspect he employs some white cunt to do it for him. That’s all whitey is good for.
10
I often take the dog in the grounds of the institute for the blind for a crap.
Then its over the road and sit on a park bench with a thermos of coffee.
Both me and the dog have tears of laughter rolling down our cheeks as the budding Stevie Wonders either slip in dogshite or spear it on their white sticks.
Ironically dogshit can cause blindness.
So dont get it in your eyes.
15
That’s enough to make Helen Keller weep😢
Morning Mis. Did you donate to Comic relief?
They wouldn’t accept Dog-shit rolled in glitter-they have Lenny Henry & co….
4
Oh yes CG!
I sent a weeks worth of dried dog shite for the piccaninnies to pick through,
All in a old KKK hood.
0
Modded erm….
Yes CG, I always donate a weeks worth of dried dogshite,
Fill you boots Africa.
Wrapped in a old klan hood.
1
This is a pet peeve of mine, no pun intended, but at least the dog shit will eventually degrade.
What really, really makes my piss boil is those who bag it and then leave it.
What? Am I supposed to collect and dispose of it for you?
You utter, utter cunt!
13
Morning JP…I’d be interested to know whether, across the country with different councils, etc….the amount of specific dogshit bins provided are consistent.
Where I live there are many bins provided and regularly emptied (nice to know that my ridiculous council tax bill is actually being used for something positive) and there’s almost no dogshit to be seen when I’m out running.
But where I live isn’t Labour, thankfully, nor infested with immos or council house types. Snobby I know, but possibly relevant…
18
It is relevant Thomas.
In some parts of the UK, Dig shit is Less prevalent than Human slurry, deposited by our “less sophisticated” residents👎
14
TtCE, there are several within a 2 minute walking distance from my regular dog walking route, 2 of which are located on what could be a very pleasant patch of green, leafy tranquility, if it wasn’t for the dog shit on the grass, the cans, bottles etc in the pond, the fast food debris scattered all around the benches and the flytipping.
I despair.
8
I flytip dogshite as well.😁
5
Jim Carrey had the right idea in Me Myself and Irene.
1
Crossing my local park is like crossing a Serbian minefield. I see footballers on a Sunday morning who could outplay George Best trying to avoid the dog shit as well as the crunching tackles. And I know a bloke who couldn’t be arsed to pick up the dog shit from his own garden. He soon learned the error of his ways when using a strimmer with a broken guard he hit a pile of shite that was just about to liquify. His glasses at least kept the shit out of his eyes but he ended up with a mouthful. The wife wouldn’t let him in the house till she’d hosed him down. Stupid cunt!
15
My old dad used to wait until they had gone hard and then chipped them over the fence with a golf club.
12
When he had a good round did he say…..I wasn’t playing shit today?
12
Got an offender after a layer of fresh snow sometime back. The thick cunt had no idea! Didn’t need the assistance of C.S.I. to work out where he lived. Got it all over his front door – via shovel. Revenge is sweet!
10
We don’t have a dog anymore but always stuck to the rules regarding dog shit when we did
Nowadays we struggle to stop the fucking cat from across the road getting in and shitting on my lawn. Any worthwhile suggestions welcome.
8
Go to you local zoo and ask for some lion shit (seriously).
Mix it in a watering can and line the garden perimeter.
Moggies, foxes, dogs etc will not come within 30 yards of it.
7
I’ve heard of that before, nearest zoo is Knowsley safari park. Not impossible, I’ll have a Google.
Reminds me of the guy learning to be a lion tamer.
Instructor…
Pick up the chair and the whip and approach the lion.
Pupil…
What if I drop the whip?
Instructor…
Move backwards and towards the cage door.
Pupil…
What if I drop the chair?
Instructor…
In that case, pick up some shit from behind you and throw it at the lion.
Pupil…
What if there’s no shit?
Instructor….
Oh there’s always some shit.
8
Amazon lion shit pellets. New and used.
£8.75 and £6.83
Used ffs!
Thanks, I’ll get some
3
Tiger shit also works. You won’t even need a fence! Best keep hold of it though, incase any of these big cats excape!
1
To save you a trip, Infidel. Amazon sell it. Its called ‘silent roar’. £12 a box.
1
Air rifle, Infidel!
2
A similar thread last year resulted in some touchy words so I’ll try the lion shit first. Thanks
3
Careful, cat lovers here….
Air rifle inserted in arse 😂
Anyway it doesn’t work, the cat doesn’t know where the shot came from, just use water spray, they get the message.
2
I have a rather splendid cat, but he is an indoor cat, unlike my next door neighbours moggy, who uses my raised flower beds as its litter tray.
I’ve tried the garden hose, but it just seems to encourage it.
Think I’ll try the lion shit, sounds like a good idea.
4
They also use lion shit to break up ‘ethnic’ gatherings in Brixton and Moss Side,
Other locations with a high infestation rate.
If theyre acting up they break out the lion shit.
Screeching and climbing lamp posts to get away.
8
Rushing them with job application forms and paternity tests has the same effect.
10
🎶 Got to scrape the shit right off your shoes 🎶
Morning all. 🌞
3
Sweet Virginia Guiffre ?
1
Well, she was at least sweet once. Incredible to think that song was recorded 11 years before the she was born.
2
Dogs gotta poop. My dog shits like he’s getting paid by the ounce. It’s unnatural, more comes out than goes in.
The amount of poop bags we go through is astonishing. Not only does he poop a lot but he likes an audience, walk past a bus stop full of people and he is certain to have held one back for his new fans.
On a longer walk when you’d think there can be no more to give he’s got his party trick of pooping something that resembles caramel blancmange that can only be picked up with a straw or a spoon.
If you’ve got a dog you also need poop picking skills.
11
SV, have you tried your woofer on raw? My dog used to shit like yours until we moved him onto “Wolftucker”. On a high quality raw meat, connective tissue, bone and certain veggies diet, his turds are smaller and neater and there’s much less risk of cancer.
4
I’ll give it a go, he’s a Cnut with sensitive skin so he’s on some shit the vet recommended right now.
2
Raw diet thoroughly recommended, Thomas.
Mine gets lean steak mince for dinner most nights and a tin of tuna in oil a couple of times a week. He normally get a crunch stick (carrot) for lunch and likes broccoli and other veg too.
Keeps his coat glossy and keeps his skin healthy.
Did you know that you can add a couple of tablespoons of vegetable oil to their food, Sixdog?
It prevents dry skin.
2
I always pick up after my dog, but no fucker picks up after me.
4
Try picking up dog shit if the bugger’s got the runs – it can’t be done.
My old mutt once poured out a yellow liquid one on a farm track where I used to walk her. This was during a hot spell in the summer, and for a couple of weeks I used to walk past it as it gradually solidified in the sun. It greatly offended my sensibilities, seeing it sitting there, and as it was just next to a ditch I thought I’d knock it into the ditch with a stick. As I did so, it broke in half and hundreds of maggots came crawling out.
Sorry, you weren’t eating, were you?
8
My wife and I used to walk a toy (?) poodle (about the size of a cat) for a partially disabled woman. She was a right lazy cow, weighed about 20 stone and fed the dog all sorts of shit ‘because he likes it’. Fucking cream cakes??? It was a nice enough little dog but, fuck me, the little bastard would have up to 10 shits in the hour we took him out for. And after the first one the rest were all sloppy cunts that there wasn’t a hope in picking up. Perhaps we should have carried a bucket of soapy water and a mop. Oh, and it often pissed in the house because it had had no training whatsoever. Dog’s fault? Not a chance. Owner, every time.
4
Leaving fake dog shit is a ruse often used by Fat Reg when he is not snooping under cars looking for trainers – he leaves plastic ones out then waits behind the bushes for some well meaning dog walker to bend over to scoop them up and he’s on them like a Yorkshireman on an abandoned trolley with a quid in it – the dirty old fucker! 😀
5
Why would anybody invest in plastic dog shit when there’s so much of the real stuff lying about?
1
I wish a psychology student would take a PhD in why they bag the shit up and then hang the bag on a bush on leave it on the ground. Do they really expect the dog poo fairy to come and pick it up?
3
Yes! They must, or maybe they think it’s ornamental, like a year round Christmas tree. Lazy bastards.
1
You have a point there Harry.
Whilst on a walk at Box Hill, Surrey,
I came across a bollard/fence post which was festooned with dig shit bags.
Looked like a xmas tree.
But considering it was in the countryside and surrounded by woodland, why not empty the contents of said shit bag under a bush to rot down naturally? 🤔
1
Happy memories, Cunterlugs!
Used to go to Box Hill or Headley Heath with Da, Unc and sis to walk our collie, back in 70s…Is that caff/ shack for tea still over the road from the main Box Hill car park?
1
Not sure HBH.
There is a big cafe somewhere near the top.
It’s a great place for stretching the legs but the narrow roads are plagued by wannabe Bradley Wiggins so you have to have your eyes peeled.
1
It was plagued by the two-wheelers even in the 70s!
1
No dog at the moment but out on the block today I saw the emus had been shitting in the pines. Their shits are the size of facking cow pats.
And I refuse to pick up that kinda thing
1
Round CF24, we either have a sizeable population of bears, or… But am sure it ain’t dogs hit on pavements. Bloody enormous. I haven’t heard that The Flabbott has visited…
1
When I go out on dog walks, I see turds that suggest a Shetland pony, or baby elephant has been out and about.
I don’t know what kind of dog, or whose it is, but I hope I never meet it on a dark night!
1
Think yourself lucky, the cunts hang it from trees where I live…
0