Veganuary

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My Fellow Cunters.

For your Cuntsideration: Veganuary.

A soy latte, pass the mung beans cunting please, for those meat hating drippy-hippy killjoy wankers, for trying to make the gloomiest month of the year, even gloomier👎

https://veganuary.com

After Black History month (what fucking history😂), Stoptober (killjoys), Movember (scruffy bastards), and a restricted Christmas, these fuckers want us to experience the benefit of insufficient nutrition and mostly bland food.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love stir fried vegetables, noodles etc-but-with a nice bit of protein rich meat.

Remember folks, Carrie Symmonds is a Vegan😉

Take back the month, spend it eating meat, drinking copious amounts of alcohol and more importantly, “Fucking for England”👍

#Vaginuary

Nominated by: Cuntfinder General

112 thoughts on “Veganuary”

  1. Cuntuary more like. How do you know if someone is vegan? They will tell you within 1 minute of conversation. I am glad to find out though as it says a lot about you: You are a cunt around whom I will make a wide berth.

    • I’m struggling with veganuary I’ve got to admit.
      Managed to last 3 hrs when I nodded off through malnutrition.

      I like some vegan food like wafer thin ham, fish fingers an apple pie.

  3. Well I completely fucked that up then … last night was Chilli con carne and tonight a lovely roast and I’ve just bought sausages and bacon from my local farm shop.

    • Last night was bacon, eggs, beans & tomatoes. Chicken with all the trimmings tonight👍

      • The best brekkie I ever had was opp north in Lancs once. Sausage, bacon, egg, tomato, black pudding and kidneys. The kidneys were especially superb.

  5. It’s a pity this nom didn’t come through on the first of the month I would have given it a go but now we are halfway through doesn’t seem worth it, maybe next year 😂

  7. Veganism? Fuck off, I am off to Miller and Carter and I am going to eat the largest steak and eight hours later I am going to do a big poo on greta thunbergs picture, how dare I? ..very easily

  8. We get vegan cunts come into my local.
    Vegan… is that beer vegan?
    Landlord… I don’t know or care. It’s up to you to do your research. I can, however, tell you that this bottled beer is gluten free for those that have genuinely no choice. Priceless 😁.

    • Couldn’t agree more. These fuckin vegan cunts boil my piss with thier sanctimonious bollocks. They have a choice, people who are coeliac and thereby affected by gluten don’t have a choice. Yet society panders to these fuckin wankers by giving a massive wide range of choice on supermarkets and restaurants while the gluten free choice is basically fuck all and massively expensive. Vegans can fuck right off, the cunts, plus thier farts stink like fuck.

  9. My woke daughter blasted me recently when I allegedly mispronounced the magic word as ‘vaygan’. “It’s VEEGAN!” she hollered and almost attacked me 5 minutes later when I said it my way again. Obviously being a vegan removes the aggression that is so typical of carnivores.

    • Mr Polly@ – This will never do Sir – hire a pantomime cow outfit, give the Daughter a bash whilst dressed in it, deny all knowledge and allege it was a vengeful bovine from “The Cow Liberation Front To Stop Vegans Stealing Our Dinner” – a radical organisation determined to duff up vegans – she will begin eating steaks immediately to reduce the number of the enemy! 😀

  10. “Excuse me waiter. Is there a vegetarian alternative?”

    “Indeed there is Sir. You can fuck off…”

    (Frankie Boyle, before the cunt sold his tiny little soul…)

  11. Malnourished people don’t think clearly. Which is probably why they chose the most depressing month of the year for their stupid campaign.

    I could entertain eating lighter in summer perhaps. But winter? Fuck off and leave my steaks in peace!

  13. An Edinburgh butchers’ shop had a board outside. The gist of the message was “Stop causing cruelty to vegetables, and get some meat down yer!”
    Judging from the responses, most veggies are 100% hate-filled and devoid of any sense of humour.
    Cunts, the lot of them.

  14. Morrisey
    The Williams sisters (bananas and nuts, obviously)
    Al Gore

    See a patern?
    All Vegans.
    All cunts.

    The thing is, the Vegans I have engaged in debate about nutritional needs, all looked unhealthy and thoroughly miserable.

    • Morrissey isn’t vegan CG.
      Hes a vegetarian.
      Vegans are to vegetarian what neonazis are to conservatives.

    • Famous plant-based-diet athletes…
      http://tiny.cc/VeganAthletes

      David Haye – Former boxer
      Tony Gonzalez – NFL player
      Nate Diaz – UFC fighter
      Kendrick Farris – Olympic weightlifter
      Patrik Baboumian – Iranian bodybuilder
      Rich Roll – Retired strongman competitor, “World’s Fittest Vegan” – Men’s Health magazine

      Meat makes you lethargic, it’s hard to digest and slow to revitalise you, give you energy. It’s an animal’s arse, after all. Plants are pure energy, some are super-foods. Animals eating other animals is them behaving at their own level. We are higher than the animals and need subtler forms of sustenance.

      I have tried eating healthier foods, but it’s hard to break the habits of a lifetime. Beef is not something I love, but I love seafood, so I can’t be a vegan and chicken is hard to give up. I think that the way forward for society is a 70/30 diet of 70% plant-based foods and 30% chicken/fish with prime beef as a special occasion meal. And no pork foods, that’s the worst form of food, lowers your energy, the Jews and Muslims have that part right!

      LOL!

      • Pigs get treated the worst in the farms and killing rooms. I had some sausages today, I have bacon sometimes, had eggs Benedict on Saturday in a cafe, but it’s a substance that gives you nothing. Slow-moving animal that rolls in faecal matter and we eat it’s arse. We truly are mad.

      • I get the most scrummy sausages from the delicatessen. Works out at over ÂŁ1 a sausage but worth every penny.

      • Gordon @7:21 – “We are higher than the animals…”

        Us humans are animals too – distinguished from the other animals by our exceptional brain and all that stems therefrom.

  15. I know it’s hard for some people to get their heads round (particularly certain farmers hailing from Northumberland) but I have never knowingly met a vegan.

    NEVER.

    And I am unanimous in that!

      • Its alright Ruff, thin, pasty looking and weak, you may have easily mistaken them for someone with a serious illness.

    • Rabbi Lionel Blue was a vegan… surely you must have met him once or twice ?

      Evening,RTC.

      • Evening Dick, lads.

        Funny you should mention Rabbi Lionel Blue, cos I can honestly say I’ve never knowingly met a rabbi either!

        Exotic types not really my bag.

        That said, we’ve just been having tea with an old friend who told us how she’d tried to top herself recently. Twice! Most stimulating…

      • Talking of people topping themselves,I hope Three In the Stink never followed through on his talk of suicide.

      • Fuck me!! How much!?
        If I spent that much on a book id demand a free suicide.

  16. By the looks of their website most people seem to be doing this for the month purely as some kind of woke detox sniffing their own farts and generally feeling like a smug cunt.

    If people want to do this off their own back then fine but anyone who is cajoled or emotionally blackmailed into stopping eating meat and dairy or smoking, drinking alcohol and growing moustaches for cancer research via social media trends which is where a lot of this shit originates, is a total wanker.

    I bet most are gagging for a massive dirty burger on Feb 1st.

    • Agreed, LL. I really don’t care what anyone eats/ doesn’t eat, how they dress or who they have sex with, although I draw the line at children and animals, I truly don’t care.
      BUT! It’s a lifestyle choice, not a virtue, or a religion and I really don’t want sanctimonious cunts telling me what to eat, wear or anything else.
      Opinions are like arse holes, everyone has one, but I’d really prefer it if it was kept concealed.

      • It’s like everything else in life – 99% of the of the people in a
        lifestyle make no waves, but you get 1% or less who make a big song and dance about it and momentarily irritate us. Ignore them, they’ll go away. Remember that advice? No one says it anymore, it’s one of the Golden Epigrams of Life.

  17. I wonder how the pasty-faced bores would react to a campaign suggesting that they tried eating meat for a month?

    • The consensus on here is that they imbibe meat regularly-ANALY.

      Good evening your Lordship👍

      • Evening,General.
        I’ve got a lump of wing rib in the oven…better than a sirloin steak as far as I’m concerned.

  18. Carrie Symmonds is also a slag and a satanist…just because she was raped by a taxi driver serial killer and escaped death doesn’t mean she’s not a cunt

  19. People can eat whatever the fuck they want, I don’t fucking care, if you don’t like eating meat/animal products or think it’s ‘cwuel’ that’s fine by me, but don’t try forcing your eating disorder on me you fucking communist cunts!!!!

  21. … fuckin’ weird cunts … all of ’em! We are top of the line ‘apex predators’. Why were we hard wired with killer instinct, heightened and acute senses and a powerful frame if all we were intended to do was sneak up on a nut or berry tree. Naaah … show me a vegan type and I’ll show you what proper cunt looks like.

    • Swagger@

      ‘heightened and acute senses’..?

      Your average ISAC would be taken out by most plant life!

      Apex predator?
      Powerful frame?

      Fuckin Charles Hawtrey would look like Rambo to most on here!

      The most deadly of plant life?
      ….the deadly Ham bush.

  22. Jesus.
    What a dreary life they must lead?
    Its not just meat, its all animal byproducts.

    No milk.
    No butter or cream.
    No leather for shoes.
    Or jackets if you think your the Fonz.
    No cheese.(accept dickcheese)

    Id rather be dead.

    • No….

      Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather
      Whiplash girl child in the dark
      Kiss the boot of shiny, shiny leather
      Tongue of thongs, the belt that does await you
      Strike, dear mistress, and cure his heart

      Don’t know what they’re missing, do they Miserable?

      • Venus in furs👍
        Afternoon Ruff.

        No, vegans are rebels without a clue.
        As for the Velvet Underground,
        They had a spoken word tune called ‘the gift’ or the present or something I used to enjoy.
        Not heard it in 30yr.
        John Cale narrative
        “Inside the box Waldo Jefferson quivered with excitement’….

        Remember it?

      • Indeed I do, Miserable. ‘White Light/White Heat’ is one of my all time favourite albums.

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eGsUltfdEVo

        In stereo, the music on ‘The Gift’ is on the left channel, Cale’s vocal on the right. Originally I had a mono copy which made it hard to make out what he was saying…

      • Nice one Ruff!👍
        Jesus, that takes me back!
        Was a girl got me into the Velvet underground.
        Same girl introduced me to Patti Smiths music.
        Im grateful to her.

  23. They just love lecturing us of poor intellect
    No No ,
    you shouldn’t have more than six units of alcohol per week
    No No ,you shouldn’t be able to purchase cheap alcohol at the supermarket
    No No you shouldn’t be allowed to smoke in public
    No No No, you shouldn’t eat meat it’s unhealthy and killing the planet that I’m tryyyyinnnggg to protect.
    No No No , your not paying attention to what I am saying are you?
    I’m doing this for your own good and the benefit for society, you do hear what I’m saying don’t you

    I fucking hear you loud and crystal clear,
    How fucking dare you interfere with what’s on my plate or in my glass but you’ll never stop will you? Cunt
    Until you have sucked the last vestige of fun from life you fucking schoolteacher pricks

  25. Every time i walk round in Tescos i see “plant food “ everywhere. The very term “plant food “ puts me right off , if they said tasty vegetarian sausage i wouldn’t mind so much. Anyway i’m off to get a nice big juicy leg of lamb .
    Mrs Fistula is very partial to her meat on the bone.

  26. This planet has been covered with cattle for hundreds of thousands of years on all continents except Australia.Billions of the fuckers, farting and burping with absolutely no effect to the climate.

    • What about all the people and all the other animals farting though?. I’ve never heard that part clarified. I can’t see how it’s only cattle farts that are supposedly damaging, it would be all herbivores at least, wouldn’t it? There I go, thinking again. As an aside , sharing workplace toilets with vegans can be really rank. Boots the chemist sells a multivitamin for vegans, which suggests it is not a balanced diet, doesn’t it?

      • MH@ – Random one, but adding a tiny amount of seaweed to feed for cows significantly reduces methane emissions.
        No news as yet on how to reduce all the hot air from vegans..

    • The very appearance of Greta’s miserable, petulant face is enough to send the Sun buggering off in the wrong direction.
      I hope she gets eaten by a polar bear. Or even a bi-polar bear.
      I wonder how long it’ll be before polar bears get done for white privilege?

  27. Lovely pork roast today, massive Yorkshire, sausage meat stuffing, roasties in beef dripping, oh, and I did a few veggies for the dog.

    • Tomorrow, for breakfast, I’m having thick cut white bread, toasted, with pork dripping!
      Ha! Take that, meat dodgers.

  28. There is this Slim Italian vegan chick at work.
    Still a virign age 30 ! Should I go Vegan, and let her her eat my sausage.

  29. Vegans are the biggest set of cunts you will ever meet.
    Besides the carpet riders and dark keys.
    Fucking hell! Are there vegan goat shaggers?
    What a damned mess.
    Oven.

  30. Fucking Sainsbury’s have been running radio ads ‘this veganuary’……

    Fuck off you utter cunts, I eat meat, always have always will as part of a balanced diet.

    As for ‘veganuary’ it’s not even a fucking word.

    It’s up there with other moronic wank words and phrases like ‘movmber’ and ‘housebarresment’ that rape my ears ever 30mins during ad breaks on commercial radio.

    Any cunt using these made up ‘words’ yep, I’m looking at you Phil Spencer and Stephen Fry – need instant decapatation.

    As for vegans, they can get fucked.

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